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“She can’t keep them all safe”
“They will die and be afraid”
“Mother, tell me, so I say”
~~~~
It was supposed to be a regular Round.
1x1x1x1 had heard about the new Survivor from the other Killers. Small, smaller than the Cultist, and draped in dark robes. It struck as vaguely familiar at the time, but she had dismissed the thought. It was impossible, and so it was irrelevant.
And then 1x saw them.
Still as tiny as the day she last saw them, well before her banishment. Cloaked in dark robes, not a hint of skin visible, just like they always preferred. Wielding a Tripwire in one hand, and a half-built Subspace Tripmine in the other. They stood defiant in the face of danger, carefully laying their traps without having noticed her observation quite yet.
1x was on top of a castle structure, watching from above as Taph, sweet Taph, placed Tripwires in the distance, barely visible in the darkness, flashes of gold trim that only a keen eye could make out.
His hands trembled where they held the Daemonshanks.
He marched down the slope, plagued with memories of the first time the two of them had met.
It was shortly after 1x had come into existence, alongside the other Shards. All they’d had were the vague memories of a life that wasn’t their own, and an overwhelming sense of rage. Rage at life, rage at death, rage at existence and everything it entailed. It was overwhelming to such a new creature, but it felt right, that well of rage. It belonged.
The memories didn’t. They were unfamiliar, of foreign hands reaching out to foreign faces and people that 1x didn’t know, but knew of.
But one memory struck out. It was a softer thing, one of the few soft things that He had left them with.
It was a memory of a small child, dressed in dark robes. They were seated on His lap, small talons combing through His endless supply of feathers. Hand motions, a language without words, were the only communication between the two. It was a pleasant memory. It had left 1x wondering who that child was.
And then they were greeted with the opportunity to meet her.
Taph was a sweet child, shy with a mischievous side. He was always getting into some sort of mischief in the Roblox HQ, and 1x had found the little half-Avian in the vents one time. To this day, they had no idea how he had gotten in there without any evidence of tampering on any of the vent entrances.
That day, Taph had been brought to the HQ to meet the Shards, the remains of Him. He had been a parental figure to them, someone who had loved them without question.
Taph had been so nervous that day, practically shaking in their spider silk robes as they looked up at the massive Avians. 1x couldn’t help but relate to the experience, of meeting many new people of various shapes and sizes that you were supposed to be familiar with, somehow.
She had knelt down to his level, and offered a singular talon to the infant Immortal. Neither of them spoke in any recognizable language, it simply wasn’t needed in that moment, but it was enough to win Taph’s initial trust.
The memories that followed that first meeting were happy ones, mostly. Days of attempting to teach Taph how to wield a blade, of sitting together in the gardens and carefully pointing out different types of poisonous plants, Taph a small weight on her lap, looking up at her and listening intently. Days of watching over the little Immortal, the beloved collective child of the Admins.
Days of hard glares and harsher words, for daring to stake their claim on the child. For daring to not fade into the background, for not settling into something easy to adjust to. For not being “worthy” for the position of parental figure. For being a “bad influence”, a danger to the little half Avian.
They tried to keep her from Taph. Taph had always ended up back with her, no matter how hard the others had tried anyway.
Taph shouldn’t be here. Taph couldn’t be here. To be in this place is tantamount to death, and nothing could kill Taph. The other Admins wouldn’t have allowed it. Taph’s Creator, her Father, wouldn’t have allowed it.
1x moved slowly, lost in thought and memory as he made his way to the nest of traps that Taph had made out of the map. He didn’t flinch as a Subspace Tripmine went off to his left, nor did he stumble as his talons pulled Tripwires from the ground.
“I just want to talk, Taph.” They called out from the center of the trapped area, Daemonshanks limp in their hands. They called out, and they waited.
The seconds slipped by, every tick of the imaginary clock another wave of nerves on 1x’s back. They hadn’t killed anyone yet this Round, and the fear of retaliation from their Captor weighed on their mind like a heavy stone.
Finally, movement from the shadows. Out slunk Taph, but 1x could detect more Survivors nearby, the soft whisper of movement from the darkness the only tell.
They stood in front of her, hands balled into fists, and waited.
Another long moment of silence stretched between them, as 1x fought to find the words she needed so desperately. It was like her very voice had been stolen from her throat, and in place of verbal speech, she laid down her Daemonshanks, and raised her hands.
“[Taph. What are you doing here?]” There, easy and simple. Taph didn’t take the response lightly, shoulders shaking.
“[That’s the first thing you ask? After however long it’s been? After you left me?]” They’d always had a knack for finding the most painful thread to pull at.
“[I’m sorry, Taph. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to leave you, but I had to, they Banned me.]” He emphasized, trying to have Taph see her point of view.
The other Admins had thrown him to the Banlands like an unwanted dog to the shelter, unloved and left to rot with all of the other tormented souls. There were no kind hands to offer aid, there was only stone and Lava and Punishment.
There was only the mockery of Justice himself.
“[Not that. Did you forget?]” Those simple, few words were enough to make 1x flinch violently, glancing away in shame. They hadn’t forgotten, they simply didn’t want to acknowledge the truth.
“[I’m sorry, but I had to leave. I couldn’t just take you with me, fledgling-]”
“[DO NOT CALL ME THAT! YOU LOST THAT RIGHT WHEN YOU HURT ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE!]” Taph stomped a taloned foot in emphasis, movements large and enraged.
“[They were just mortals, fledgling-]” Once more, 1x was interrupted.
“[They. Were. PEOPLE! With lives, and families, and homes! And you set your plagues upon them, for what?! They were in your way, or something?!]”
1x1x1x1 had nothing to say in response. Taph was right, after all.
“[You became exactly the monster they said you were. You didn’t have to do that. You always had a choice-]” Finally, it was Taph’s turn to be interrupted as 1x growled.
“[NO I DID NOT!]” If 1x was speaking, they would have roared. Instead, they snapped their sharp teeth in anger, stomping one of their own feet in expression.
“[I doubt they told you, but they were going to kick me out anyway! After all of those rumors, I was basically on unofficial probation! They were going to keep you away from me!]”
Silence. Neither breathed. Neither moved.
They watched each other, 1x’s eyes feeling odd as they stood there, looking down at the Immortal they had once called his own child.
“[So you left before they could make you. Great plan, genius.]” The sarcasm was palatable, despite the shake in Taph’s usually steady hands.
“[You left me for no reason other than fear. Amazing. Glad to know I wasn’t worth enough to stay for.]” 1x startled, lurching forward.
“[No! No, no, no, you were always worth it, fledgling! It’s my own fault, I should’ve tried harder, please, it’s not your fault.]” She begged, hands rapid in movement. Her eyes stung violently, wetness seeping down her face.
“[You didn’t even say goodbye.]” They weren’t enraged anymore. They just seemed sad, and 1x had caused that. The tears fell harder.
“[I’m sorry.]”
“[Sorry isn’t good enough.]”
“[I have nothing I can do to make it up to you. I have to fight you. I’m so, so sorry, fledgling.]” She could feel it, the pressure of the timer, the fear of consequence, of losing herself to unknowable madness and fear until she slaughtered every Survivor in her wake. And still, she did not pick up her blades.
The Daemonshanks laid askew against the grassy floor, pulsing light softly, in sync with the glow of 1x’s own body.
“[I understand. They explained it to me already. I don’t want to fight you.]” Taph’s response was slow, burdened by their emotions as they all but wilted like a flower away from light or water.
“[I don’t want to fight you either. But it’ll be worse if I don’t. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Taph.]”
“[I don’t blame you. Not for this. Please don’t blame me either, for what I have to do to stay alive.]” That reminded him. Taph had never answered his original question.
“[How did you end up here? It’s not an easy process, if I’m correct.]” He asked curiously. There wasn’t enough time left on the timer for him to go hunting for a different target, and he didn’t feel particularly murderous at this moment anyway.
“[It’s…. A long story. A lot happened, after you got Banned. People started getting mad at Demolitionists. I was the perfect scapegoat for them. Everyone else resigned. I was the only one left. I did some…. Bad things, that I thought were good at the time. Guess I learned my lesson in the end.]”
1x nodded slowly, taking in the explanation. There were so many things that Taph wasn’t telling them, but the moment felt too fragile, too hesitant to push.
“[I’m so sorry, fledgling, that I wasn’t there to protect you. But where were the Admins? Why didn’t they protect you?]” Like they were supposed to, was what 1x didn’t say.
Taph shrugged listlessly.
“[I don’t know. They were busy, I guess.]”
“[That’s not an excuse.]” 1x signed, a righteous anger beginning to kindle.
“[It’s true, though. Everyone was busy. Papa had disappeared, and then Pops was gone, and then Dad, and everything just got so awful during that time.]” Taph offered, their explanation doing nothing but adding more fuel to the fire of rage in 1x’s heart.
“[That doesn’t matter!]” They signed angrily. “[They were supposed to protect you! And now you’re here!]”
“[Yeah. I guess you’re right.]” Taph’s hands curled into fists, before curling in further by clutching their robe tightly. 1x’s heart softened at the sight.
“[Taph. Fledgling. Please, may I make one request of you.]” Her hands were slow, making sure each word was clear in its intention. Hesitantly, Taph nodded.
“[No promises, but okay.]” He responded, and 1x nodded in return.
“[May I hug you, one last time? I know you must hate me, but please, allow your Baba this last comfort.]” Her hands were shaking again, if only slightly. Taph stiffened, before wilting in sadness.
“[Yes. Please. I missed you. I’m still mad, I don’t forgive you, but I missed you. I missed you so much, Baba.]” They laid their hands at their sides, and took a hesitant step forward. 1x carefully outstretched their arms, staying in her position where she stood. She would not force Taph, if they decided at the last second to refuse.
Another step forward, Taph’s hands began to release their grip on her robe.
Another. The distance was decreasing steadily.
Another. 1x was certain they were trembling, from their head to the tips of their wings to the sharp blades that made up their talons.
Impact. Taph’s arms wrapped around 1x’s torso tightly, barely able to reach from the height difference alone. Taking initiative this time, 1x kneeled down, allowed to Taph to hug him more comfortably. They wrapped their arms around her, nearly clutching on.
1x didn’t want to let go, but the toll of the bells was swiftly arriving. She clutched tighter in response to the distant, ominous ticking, tucking Taph almost entirely in her wings and feathered ruff. Tears rolled down her cheeks, stinging her eyes.
“I love you, my fledgling. I’m so sorry for what is to come.”
The timer hit zero.
And 1x’s arms were empty once again.