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the light from the ring light was almost too bright, casting a warm glow across the small studio space where juhoon and seonghyeon were sitting side by side on a plush sofa. the chat on the phone mounted in front of them was scrolling at an unreadable speed, a blur of colorful emojis, purple hearts, and messages in dozens of languages.
juhoon leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he squinted at the screen, trying to catch a single coherent sentence. seonghyeon sat beside him, quieter than usual, casually leaning back against the cushions with his phone in hand, pretending to check his notifications while occasionally glancing over at the live chat.
"oh, wait, i saw a good one," juhoon said, pointing a slender finger at the screen. he leaned back, tilting his head as he read it out loud in his soft, measured tone. "juhoon-ah, who is your favorite dongsaeng in the team right now?"
seonghyeon’s thumb froze mid-scroll on his phone. he didn't look up immediately, but his ears perked up, waiting for the obvious answer. he and juhoon had spent the last three days practically attached at the hip, staying up late in the practice room, sharing late-night meals, and exchanging inside jokes that no one else understood.
juhoon hummed thoughtfully, resting his chin in his hand as he let out a quiet giggle. "my favorite dongsaeng?" he repeated, a fond smile spreading across his face. "ah, these days... it has to be keonho. keonho has been so cute lately. he listened to me really well when we were practicing yesterday, and he brought me iced coffee without me even asking. so yeah, definitely keonho right now."
the chat went wild with spam, but inside the studio, the atmosphere subtly shifted.
seonghyeon slowly turned his head to look at juhoon. his expression remained completely neutral for the camera, but his eyes narrowed just a fraction. he didn't say a word, just stared at juhoon’s side profile with a heavy, intense gaze. juhoon, completely oblivious, continued talking to the camera, laughing at a comment about keonho's reaction if he were watching the stream.
before seonghyeon could even process the sudden wave of irritation pooling in his chest, the door to the studio clicked open.
martin poked his head in, holding a small canvas tote bag. keonho and james were right behind him, bundled up in oversized hoodies.
"hey, we're heading out to the convenience store around the corner," martin said, keeping his voice relatively low since the live stream was still running. "anyone want anything?"
"get me a strawberry milk and those salty potato chips," juhoon said immediately, turning back toward the door with a bright expression. he looked right past seonghyeon and smiled at keonho. "keonho-ya, pick out your favorite ice cream too, hyung will pay for it later."
keonho beamed, nodding enthusiastically. "got it, hyung! thanks!"
james gave a quick wave to the camera before pulling keonho and martin back out into the hallway. "we'll be back in fifteen minutes," james called out right before the door shut softly behind them, leaving the studio in sudden silence.
juhoon read a few more comments before glancing at the time on the tablet. "ah, it's been almost an hour. we should probably wrap this up, right?" he turned to seonghyeon, finally noticing how quiet the younger boy had been. "seonghyeon-ah, say goodbye to everyone."
seonghyeon forced a small, polite smile for the camera. "thank you for watching today, everyone. make sure to eat dinner and stay warm. bye-bye."
as soon as juhoon tapped the screen to end the stream and the red live indicator went dark, the polite atmosphere vanished.
juhoon stretched his arms over his head, letting out a tired sigh as he relaxed into the sofa. "ah, my back hurts. that was fun, though."
he waited for seonghyeon to agree, but the younger boy hadn't moved. seonghyeon was sitting stiffly, staring down at his hands folded in his lap.
"seonghyeon?" juhoon asked softly, reaching out to tap his shoulder. "you okay? you were kind of quiet at the end."
seonghyeon pulled his shoulder away slightly, avoiding juhoon's touch. the movement was small, but deliberate enough to make juhoon pause.
"keonho?" seonghyeon said, his voice flat and devoid of its usual playfulness.
juhoon blinked, confused. "what?"
seonghyeon finally turned to face him fully. his dark eyes were steady, fixed on juhoon with an intensity that made the room feel suddenly much smaller. "your favorite dongsaeng. you said keonho."
juhoon stared at him for a second, then broke into a small, amused smile. "oh, that? it was just a random question on live. keonho really did buy me coffee yesterday, so—"
"i bought you dinner two nights ago," seonghyeon interrupted, his voice low, steady, and entirely unamused. "i stayed up with you until 3 a.m. helping you memorize the new blocking. i literally walked five blocks in the rain to get those specific pastries you wanted last week."
juhoon’s smile faded slightly as he realized seonghyeon wasn't joking. "seonghyeon-ah, it's not that deep. it was just a fun answer for the fans. you know how lives are."
"i don't care about the stream," seonghyeon said, leaning in a fraction of an inch closer. the distance between them shrank, the quiet hum of the studio's air conditioner filling the space between their words. "i care that you didn't even hesitate. you didn't even think about it."
juhoon looked at him, caught completely off guard by the edge in seonghyeon's tone. there was a subtle possessiveness in the way seonghyeon was looking at him—a raw, quiet frustration that went far beyond simple group member banter.
"are you actually jealous right now?" juhoon asked, his voice dropping to a near-whisper, a mix of disbelief and something softer, warmer, fluttering in his chest.
seonghyeon didn't blink. he didn't laugh it off, and he didn't look away.
"yeah," seonghyeon admitted quietly, his dark eyes searching juhoon’s face. "i am. I hate hearing you call someone else your favorite, even if it's just a joke for the fans. especially when it's keonho getting the ice cream you offered to pay for."
juhoon’s breath caught in his throat. the tension in the room shifted, thick and lingering, pulling them into a heavy silence. juhoon opened his mouth to reply, his hand hovering near seonghyeon’s knee, but before he could say a single word, the heavy studio door creaked open.
"we're back!" james called out loudly, holding a plastic bag filled with snacks, followed closely by martin and keonho.
the moment broke instantly. seonghyeon leaned back, his mask slipping smoothly back into place, though his eyes lingered on juhoon for one last, lingering second before he turned to look at the door. juhoon slowly pulled his hand back, his heart beating a little too fast against his ribs, the taste of unspoken words heavy on his tongue.
the next morning started off with a quiet that felt entirely wrong.
usually, seonghyeon was the one who lingered in the kitchen when juhoon was making his morning coffee, leaning against the counter in a worn hoodie, half-asleep and making low, grumbling noises until juhoon handed him a mug. but when juhoon walked into the kitchen at eight in the morning, seonghyeon was already dressed, his shoes pulled on, grabbing his keys off the island.
"heading to the company early," seonghyeon said to no one in particular, his voice completely flat. he didn't look up, didn't make eye contact, and was out the front door before juhoon could even open his mouth to offer a ride.
juhoon stood alone in the quiet kitchen, staring at the empty doorway with a strange, heavy knot twisting in his stomach.
he spent the entire afternoon trying to fix it.
during dance practice, juhoon made sure to set down a cold bottle of seonghyeon's favorite iced peach tea right next to his gym bag. when they took a fifteen-minute break, seonghyeon walked right past the bottle, picked up a plain water bottle from the windowsill instead, and sat in the far corner of the practice room with his headphones squeezed tightly over his ears.
juhoon bit his lip, watching him through the full-length mirror. james leaned over, nudging juhoon's shoulder. "did you guys get into a fight or something? seonghyeon looks like he's about to bite someone's head off."
"no," juhoon murmured softly, his eyes still glued to seonghyeon's reflection. "just... miscommunication."
later that evening, juhoon tried a more direct approach. he ordered the specific spicy rice cakes seonghyeon always craved after long training sessions, setting the takeout box on the living room coffee table where seonghyeon was sitting with his laptop.
"i bought extra," juhoon said quietly, sitting down on the edge of the sofa near him. "you barely ate lunch."
seonghyeon didn't even look up from his screen. his fingers kept clicking rhythmically against the trackpad. "i'm not hungry," he replied, his tone polite, distant, and completely icy. "give it to keonho. i'm sure he'd love it."
the mention of keonho made juhoon’s heart drop.
seonghyeon snapped his laptop shut, stood up without another word, and walked into his bedroom, closing the door softly behind him. the quiet click of the latch echoed through the quiet apartment, leaving juhoon sitting alone on the couch, staring at the unopened box of food.
by the third day, the cold shoulder hadn't loosened even a fraction.
seonghyeon was a master of passive distance. he wasn't loud or dramatic about it; he simply ceased to exist in juhoon's immediate space. if juhoon walked into a room, seonghyeon casually walked out. if juhoon asked a question in the group chat, seonghyeon let someone else answer. if their shoulders brushed in the hallway, seonghyeon immediately pulled away as if he’d been burned.
it was driving juhoon completely insane.
he hated the silence. he hated the wall seonghyeon had built overnight, but more than anything, he hated how much he missed the constant, warm presence he had taken for granted. he realized, with a quiet, lingering ache, that he didn't just want seonghyeon to stop being mad at him—he wanted seonghyeon close again. he wanted the intense, heavy gaze from the night of the stream back, because even that jealousy felt warmer than this complete emptiness.
late that night, around 1:00 a.m., the dorm was completely dark and quiet. everyone else was fast asleep, but juhoon couldn't sleep a wink. he sat up in bed, staring at the ceiling, before finally tossing the blanket aside.
he padded quietly down the hallway toward the practice room at the end of the corridor, seeing a sliver of light spilling out from under the door.
juhoon pushed the door open softly.
seonghyeon was in the middle of the room, running through the choreography in silence, his shirt soaked through with sweat, his hair clinging to his forehead. he froze when he caught juhoon’s reflection in the mirror.
for a long moment, neither of them moved. the only sound was seonghyeon’s heavy, uneven breathing filling the small space.
"seonghyeon-ah," juhoon began, his voice barely above a whisper, raw and tired. "please. stop ignoring me."
seonghyeon didn't move. he stayed frozen mid-stance, his eyes fixed on juhoon’s reflection in the glass. sweat dripped slowly down the line of his jaw, dropping onto the hardwood floor, but he didn't wipe it away.
slowly, carefully, seonghyeon turned around to face him directly. he pulled a small towel from the nearby barre, wiping his forehead with slow, deliberate movements. the heavy silence stretched between them, thick and suffocating, until seonghyeon finally dropped the towel onto a chair.
"i'm not ignoring you," seonghyeon said flatly, his voice raspy from hours of breathing in the dry studio air. "i'm just practicing."
"you haven't looked at me in three days," juhoon said softly, taking a single step forward into the room. the door clicked shut behind him, sealing them off from the rest of the dark dorm. "you don't drink the tea i leave for you, you don't eat the food i buy, and every time i enter a room, you leave it. you're avoiding me, seonghyeon-ah. it's driving me crazy."
seonghyeon let out a low, humorless exhale through his nose, crossing his arms over his chest. he looked tired, the faint dark circles under his eyes contrasting sharply with his pale skin, but his gaze remained razor-sharp.
"i thought you liked having keonho around more," seonghyeon murmured, his tone laced with a lingering, bitter edge. "i'm just giving you space to spend time with your favorite dongsaeng."
juhoon felt a sudden spike of frustration, mixed with a deep, aching desperation. "it was a silly comment on a stream, seonghyeon. i was put on the spot, and keonho had literally just handed me an iced coffee ten minutes prior. it meant nothing."
"it didn't feel like nothing to me," seonghyeon countered instantly, his voice dropping an octave, losing its cold, distant veneer and revealing the raw, quiet hurt underneath. "you laughed. you called him cute. you offered to buy him whatever he wanted, right in front of thousands of people, right in front of me. and I had spent the last three weeks trying to be the only person you relied on."
juhoon stopped mid-stride. the room suddenly felt entirely too quiet.
"what?" juhoon whispered.
seonghyeon took a step toward him, closing half the distance between them. his hands dropped to his sides, clenching into loose fists. "you think i stay up until 3 a.m. helping you memorize choreography because i have nothing better to do? you think i walk in the rain to get those stupid pastries just because i'm being a good bandmate?"
he took another step, his dark eyes locking onto juhoon's, completely unfiltered, completely stripped of any polite reserve.
"i do those things because i want to be the one you think of first," seonghyeon said, his voice shaking just a fraction, steadying only through sheer effort. "i don't care about the group. i don't care about the fans. i care about you. and hearing you toss me aside for a quick joke made me realize that maybe i'm just another member to you."
juhoon felt his breath catch in his throat. the sheer weight of seonghyeon's words hung heavy in the air between them. every little gesture from the past few months—the late-night talks, the subtle touches, the quiet way seonghyeon always ended up sitting next to him—suddenly aligned into a clear, undeniably intense picture.
"seonghyeon..." juhoon started, his own voice barely audible. he reached out, his fingers tentatively brushing against the warm fabric of seonghyeon's sleeve.
this time, seonghyeon didn't pull away. he stood completely still, his chest rising and falling heavily, waiting.
juhoon looked up at him, closing the remaining distance until their shoulders were almost touching. "you're an idiot," juhoon murmured softly, his fingers closing around seonghyeon's wrist, pulling him just a tiny bit closer. "you're not just another member. you never were."
seonghyeon’s breath hitched. "then why—"
"because i was scared," juhoon interrupted quietly, his thumb tracing the warm pulse point on seonghyeon's wrist. "i was scared of how comfortable i was getting with you. i was scared of how much i looked forward to seeing you every morning. so when the fans asked, i panicked and picked the safest, easiest answer i could think of."
juhoon tilted his head up, his gaze holding seonghyeon's with a quiet, unyielding honesty. "keonho is just a younger brother to me. but you... you're the only person in this entire building who can make my heart drop just by walking into a room."
seonghyeon stared at him, the tension in his broad shoulders slowly dissolving, replaced by a subtle, disbelieving warmth. he swallowed hard, his eyes flickering down to juhoon’s lips for a fraction of a second before lifting back to his eyes.
"you should have just said that on the live," seonghyeon muttered, though the sharp edge in his tone was completely gone, replaced by a low, quiet murmur.
juhoon let out a soft, breathy laugh, leaning his forehead lightly against seonghyeon's shoulder, feeling the damp warmth of his shirt and the steady, fast rhythm of his heart beneath it. "and ruin the internet forever? no thanks."
seonghyeon paused, then slowly raised his free hand, resting his palm against the back of juhoon's neck, his fingers tangling gently into the soft hairs at the nape. the touch was warm, possessive, and lingering.
"fine," seonghyeon whispered into the quiet room, his head resting lightly against juhoon's. "but you're buying me food tomorrow. not keonho. just me."
juhoon smiled against seonghyeon's shoulder, closing his eyes as he wrapped his arms tightly around his waist, soaking in the long-awaited warmth. "deal."
seonghyeon’s hand tightened against the back of juhoon’s neck, his fingers tangling deeper into soft hair, pulling him just a fraction closer. the space between them vanished completely, the lingering chill of the practice room melting into the sudden, overwhelming warmth of their bodies pressed together.
when juhoon lifted his head, seonghyeon didn't wait. he leaned down, his eyes fluttering shut as his lips found juhoon’s in a soft, aching kiss.
it wasn't fast or rushed; it was slow, heavy, and full of every unspoken word that had been festering between them for days. juhoon let out a quiet, trembling breath against seonghyeon’s mouth, his hands sliding up from seonghyeon’s waist to rest flat against his chest, feeling the frantic, hammering rhythm beneath his palm. seonghyeon tilted his head, deepening the kiss, his touch shifting from tentative to fiercely possessive, coaxing juhoon’s lips open with a gentle persistence that made juhoon’s knees feel weak.
for a long moment, the rest of the world completely ceased to exist. there were no cameras, no fans, no group members sleeping down the hall—just the quiet friction of their lips, the rustle of their clothes, and the warm, steady rhythm of their breathing mingling in the quiet dark.
when seonghyeon finally pulled back, he didn't go far. he kept his forehead resting against juhoon’s, their breaths hitching together in the tiny space separating them. seonghyeon’s eyes fluttered open, dark and slightly hazy, staring down at juhoon’s flush cheeks and swollen lips.
"you talk too much," seonghyeon whispered, his voice dangerously low, a soft, fond curve finally touching the corner of his lips.
juhoon let out a breathy, breathless laugh, his hands lingering on seonghyeon’s chest. he swiped his thumb lightly over seonghyeon’s bottom lip, watching the way seonghyeon’s gaze tracked the movement before lifting back to meet his eyes.
"i wasn't finished explaining," juhoon murmured softly, his tone turning quiet, serious, and completely earnest.
seonghyeon tilted his head, listening.
"you asked why i didn't say your name when they asked for my favorite dongsaeng," juhoon said, his fingers tracing a slow circle over seonghyeon's heartbeat. "it wasn't just because i panicked. it was because... i couldn't bring myself to call you that."
seonghyeon’s eyebrows knitted together slightly in confusion. "call me what? a dongsaeng?"
juhoon nodded slowly, looking straight into seonghyeon’s eyes without an ounce of hesitation left. "keonho is my dongsaeng. martin and james are like younger brothers to me. but you... seonghyeon-ah, i don't look at you like a younger brother. i never have."
seonghyeon froze, his pulse spiking rapidly under juhoon’s palm.
"i didn't name you as my favorite dongsaeng," juhoon whispered, leaning in until his lips brushed against seonghyeon’s jawline, "because i don't want you to be my younger brother. i want you to be my lover."
the word hung in the quiet air of the practice room, soft but entirely undeniable.
seonghyeon swallowed hard, a sudden, bright warmth blooming across his face, spreading all the way to the tips of his ears. the lingering remnants of his jealousy, his frustration, and his quiet insecurity completely dissolved, replaced by a sudden, breathtaking clarity.
"a lover," seonghyeon repeated, the word sounding sweet and unfamiliar on his tongue.
"yeah," juhoon murmured, pulling back just enough to smile up at him, his eyes soft and shining under the dim lights. "so stop being mad at me for not calling you my favorite dongsaeng when i'm sitting here trying to figure out how to ask you to be my boyfriend."
seonghyeon stared at him for a beat, completely speechlessly, before a genuine, breathtaking smile broke across his face—the first real smile juhoon had seen from him in days. without another word, seonghyeon cupped juhoon’s cheeks in both hands, tilting his face up, and pulled him right back into another long, deep kiss that left them both completely breathless.