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It was an average day in Crossroads, and the Warden wanted to go for a nice cup of coffee, or more (you know why). Naturally, his eyes were drawn to the popular local cafe: Thieves Den. Although the decor was rather eccentric for his tastes, Ban Hammer decided he would try it out anyway.
All eyes turned to him as soon as he stepped into the cafe. He smirked as whispers of surprise and amazement arose; of course, he was the warden, after all. Ban Hammer walks up to the counter, and was about to place his order, when another inphernal pushed past him and cut him in line!
"HEY! Whaddaya think you're doin, cuttin the all-famous Warden of Banlands in line?!??? You got a death wish, or something?" Ban Hammer spat, appalled.
The inphernal, sporting an orange hoodie and dual-colored horns, didn't even turn to look at him as he replied, "omg bro ur literally the chopped warden everyone talks about... fym ur famous no one actually likes u 😭😭😭"
Ban Hammer gritted his teeth in realization- this was Coil! The stupid thief who nobody has ever been able to catch!
"WATCH YOUR TONE, BOY!!! You're the wanted criminal 'round here, aren't ya??" Ban Hammer slammed his hammer against the tile. "Today is the day of your arrest! PUT YOUR HANDS UP!!!!"
The cafe was dead silent, carefully watching the pair's tense altercation. Coil, who hadn't flinched a single time, finally turned to face the warden.
"bro thinks he's allat 🤣🤣🤣lookit this mama's boy tryna look all big and bad ts fryin me yo the only aura i sense offa u rn is ur last meal bruh 🥀🥀🥀" Coil said nonchalantly.
Ban Hammer was shocked, his mouth agape, and the sound of customers suppressing their laughter could be heard. But Coil wasn't finished.
"literally the only reason ur still the big bad warden with authority in crossroads is bc nobody wants to be ur next meal bruh💔 💔💔 ts why u never find any criminals they literally hide beneath your fatass bod and you dont notice 😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏 i can see ur hunter hunger eyes under that blindfold rn im crine what the skibidi."
Ban Hammer was frozen in horror, and began sweating even more as the cafe erupted in laughter.
"W-W-WELL...!!! THATS NOT TRUE YOU- LITTLE 😧😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬" he began, before being interrupted by the alpha.
"the only reason im little to u is bc u rotund asf 💀💀💀im sure by the end of ts ur gna start crunching on tge cafe walls... LETS GIVE THIS OBTUSE OBSTACLE SOMETHIN TO TASTE 😈😈😈"
The cafe began booing Ban Hammer and throwing handfuls of desserts and cups of coffee at Ban Hammer. The Warden, obviously facing defeat, starts sobbing on the floor as he got pelted with food. Coil exits the cafe with his nonchalant swagger and alpha aura.
Slingshot, having been at the counter the entire time, stares in utter bewilderment at the chaos.
"what the actual fuck"
the end