Work Text:
Dean sat at a lake, staring into the horizon. The water swirled around him, and at that moment, he felt extremely small. He sighed. The last year-ish had made him feel small, ever since his Kirky died...
"Dean!" someone called.
The man turned around and saw a tanned woman with black hair staring at him. "Nicki Minaj!?" He asked in shock. The pop star shook her head. "It aint Nicki Minaj no more, my new name is Nicki Magaj."
Dean sighed. "Why?"
Nicki rolled her eyes. "How do you not know why!"
Dean cried. "Because I'm so busy missing my homeboy!" Nicki raised a brow and crossed her arms. "Your... homeboy?" She asked. Dean nodded, wiping tears away.
"His name is-was Charlie Kirk."
Nicki gasped. "No way! Im in a secret relationship with his wife!" Dean looked at her through his tears. "Erika?" He asked. Nicki nodded."Im not actually MAGA... I just had to pretend so no one would find out."
Dean nodded. "It's okay Nicki, I knew. And.. I was actually secretly dating Kirk." Nicki gasped.
"No way!" she said.
"Yes way."
"Nuh uh." A voice behind him said. Dean recognised it immediately. "Donald Trump!" Him and Nicki gasped as they saw the fat orange man. He crossed his arms.
"Nicki... did you lie to me?" He asked, leaning forwards because of his awful posture. "You're.. a wokey!"
Nicki gasped. "No, im not!"
Trump grabbed her and threw her into the lake.
Dean gasped. "Nooo Nicki!" He turned to face the orange man. Now he was reaallyyy angry. "How dare you!"
Trump shrugged. "Im the president, I do what I want."
"No..." Dean growled and suddently he was flying. The water was bending around him. A soft voice was heard. "Its me... your homeboy... Charlie Kirk...." the water whispered. Dean gasped. "Kirky?" The water didn't answer for a few seconds.
"Yes it's me dean! Now take him down!"
Dean threw the water on Trump. "By the power of Charlie Kirk!" He yelled. Trump got hit and drowned.
"Yes!" Dean jumped happily with Nicki. "I can't believe we defeated Trump!"
"No you didn't..." they turned around and saw the president, but he looked really thin.
"Woah!" Nicki gasped. "are u on Ozempic mr president?"
"What?" Trump asked and glanced down at his flat stomach. "No!" He yelled. "You gave me an abortion, I was pregnant with Joe Biden child! Screw you!"
Nicki smiled. "You're welcome. That reminds me, I need to go to the abortion clinic. Im going for my 67th abortion this month." Then she left
"Nooo!" Trump sobbed. Dean smiled. "Thank you Charlie." He whispered.
Then he left as well. He could feel the power in his veins. He could feel Charlies power. The could only mean one thing...
We are Charlie Kirk!