Archive of Our Own

"Nice one, Mr. Noble Sheriff." Father Khatri mocked, voice filled with poison. "Of all the people chose to get killed this time, you chose Tian-Chen. Sweet Tian-Chen..." 

Boyd's body stiffened. His bloody hands shook, deep maroon liquid dripping onto the linoleum floosr with every movement.

Of all the people you chose to get killed this time.

You chose.

You.

"I didn't mean to..." Boyd whispered childishly, eyes glued to something on the wall, then to the floor, everywhere but Rudra's eyes.

"Like you didn't mean to kill Abby? Like how you put Frank in that damn box? Like how you're the reason I'm dead?!" Father Khatri poked a finger into Boyd's chest. "You don't mean to do a lot of things, hey Sheriff?" Khatri smirked.

"Why the fuck are you here, Khatri?" the sheriff sighed, "Just to taunt me? Rub salt in the wound? You don't think that I would have switched places with Tian-Chen if I could? Do you think I'm that heartless? That I wanted to watch those... things... rip the skin from her body? Hear her screaming for her Mom, for Kenny, for anyone to help her while I was handcuffed to that fucking pole?!" Boyd's voice cracked, anger and tears mixing a cruel cocktail in his throat. "And don't start on Frank, that was not my fucking fault." Boyd's chest heaved.

"And you...

You're supposed to be here with me."

Seconds passed, an agonizing silence filled the air, but as Boyd turned around he realized he was alone. 

Khatri was gone.

He had disappeared as fast as he had shown up. 

"Miss me, Stevens?" 

Boyd jumped in his seat, glass dropping from his hands onto the hard bar top.

"Not now, Khatri." Boyd sighed, voice laced with Tom's potato vodka

"What, too good for me?" Khatri leaned against the bar next to Boyd, "Or too busy covering up your daughter in laws crime? Poor poor Tillie..."

Boyd started towards the door, and Khatri followed, "You can't get rid of me that easy, Sheriff"

"I wish I could" Boyd spat

Khatri's voice softened. "No you don't.. You said it yourself, I'm supposed to be here with you."

Boyd halted abruptly, his body not moving another step. Khatri would've walked straight into him, if he hadn't anticipated Boyd's reaction before he finished his sentence.

"You heard that?" Boyd whispered.

"Of course I did, I'm haunting you. I'm always around"

Boyd stayed quiet for a moment. Khatri had heard him. He thought that Khatri had left as soon as he had started yelling, as if to say I don't care, Its all your fault, try to rationalize it all, you cant.

"What should I do, Rudi" Boyd finally whispered. "Tillie is dead, but I cant put Fatima in that damn box. I know its unfair, I did it to Frank, but God, I cant do that to Ellis. Not after what I did to Abby..."

"First of all," Khatri started, "Don't use the Lords name in vain"

Boyd chuckled. 

"Second, You know what to do. Do what you did with Sara, what you were going to do with Frank. At least until Tillie is buried. Chalk it up to a monster, or blame that Dale guy. He's a dick."

"Dales already dead."

Khatri sighed, "Thank God"

"Oh, but I cant use the Lords name in vain?" Boyd mused.

And with that, Father Khatri was gone. Boyd couldn't help but to laugh, though his heart ached.

At least he was helpful this time? Boyd wasn't quite sure. 

Ethan and Julie Matthews sobs rippled in Boyd's head. 

Another death.

Those poor kids. Finding their own father, slashed and strung upside down in the barn. 

That god forsaken barn.

The sheriffs office was quiet. The whole town was, for once. How do we have hope? How could we keep going? 

How could Boyd keep going?

His eyes welled with tears, shaking hands reaching for one of the desk drawers.

Abby. Mr. Liu. Frank. Khatri. Tom. Tian-Chen. Jim.

and countless others.

So many people, His people, the people he vowed to protect, all dead.

Because he couldn't do the one thing they trusted him to do.

Keep them fucking safe.

Boyd's fist gripped the cold handle of the pistol he stashed in his deep in his desk.

He loaded it with one single bullet. Spin. He pressed the cold metal to his temple.

Click.

"Boyd?" Khatri gasped, appearing in the doorway of the station.

Click. Click. Cl...

"BOYD!" Khatri boomed, using all of his strength to bat the gun from the sheriffs hand.

The two men stared at each other. Both teary eyed and shaking. One alive, one dead. 

"I can't fuckin do it anymore, Rudi." Boyd croaked. 

"Do what, Boyd?" Father Khatri whispered.

"This! What the fuck do you think, Khatri?" Boyd yelled though sobs. "I fought in Iraq. I killed my own fucking wife. But somehow.. living, surviving, in this place without you... That is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, isn't that funny? I killed my WIFE," Boyd wailed, "but somehow, you're who I want. Not Abby, not Ellis or Fatima, Donna or Kenny. Father Rudra fucking Khatri." Boyd slammed his fist onto the desk below

"You're supposed to be here with me.. You are the only one I need during all this shit. I love you, God damn it! I love you Khatri, but I'll never be able to have you as long as I'm in this fucking hell town" Boyd sobbed

"Boyd, don't. They need you. Who else is going to keep them safe? I can wait, Its not like I'm going anywhere." Khatri pleaded, hoping the last part would make Boyd crack a smile, realize the severity of his actions.

More tears flooded his cheeks. "You cant leave your son here alone, Boyd. Look at Kenny, do you want that for Ellis? All alone with no real family, in this.. place?" 

"At least he has love." Boyd whispered

Before Khatri could process his words, Boyd picked the gun back up and held it to his head. 

Click. Click.

BOOM.