Chapter Text
Soleum was a coward.
There was this guy he liked. They weren't even in the same major and they never shared a word. Yet sometimes, during Soleum's shift in the campus cafe, the other would walk in and approach him.
It was his smile that did it for Soleum because it was warm and gentle like a warm breeze in spring. He would greet him like an old acquaintance and Soleum had to work hard to not stutter when greeting him back. He didn't know his name, but from the books the other brought to study, he learned this handsome man was a psychology major.
The psychology student with the blond hair and yellow eyes would always ask for a cup of tea and "whatever pastry smiles at you, Mr. Employee" before finding a place by the window to sit and read his book.
Watching him felt really therapeutic to Soleum. It was as if this man existed in his own little bubble in which no one could disturb him. The arguing couple. The loud friend group. The loner mumbling to himself. He always kept his eyes on his book. The only time he actively stopped reading was when Soleum approached with the order. Then he would stop for a moment and close his book, using his finger as a bookmark as he closed it. Once again Soleum got to see that pleasant, warm smile when the man said "thank you". Then he would go back to reading and only after finishing a good amount of the book, as well as his pastry and the cup of tea would he stop and approach the counter again to hand in the dirty dishes and wish him a good day.
That had been the extend of their interactions for two years now. Soleum was a coward, so even after he realized his feelings, he never said anything. They didn't know each other, after all, and something inside of him twisted in an ugly way at the thought of the other person not coming again because Soleum made him feel uncomfortable. How much could you even like someone you knew nothing about? Soleum didn't believe in love at first sight.
Maybe it was fine to simply live like this and bask in the other's warmth every time he visited. Soleum was a humble and patient person and a coward. This was enough.
--
He made a mistake, but realized it too late. Maybe he shouldn't have invited Baek Saheon to come here and talk his ear off. Because this was a rare moment of the other being vulnerable, having had family troubles again. They didn't even get along that well, but Soleum knew that if he just left him as was, his dorm mate would simply drink his sorrows away.
This way Soleum could instead give him other (non-alcoholic) drinks, even if he had to listen. He didn't want their apartment to reek of alcohol again.
It was during that time the pretty man entered again and Soleum's eyes immediately moved towards him. Because it was summer, today he was dressed lightly in a simple cream colored shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Soleum had thought he was untouchable, like a marble statue, but today his skin had a light sheen from the heat. So he is still human, after all.
He realized his mistake when the sudden rambling had died down. His eyes snapped toward Baek Saheon, but it was already too late. His eyes were darting back and forth between Soleum and his man crush, a calculating expression on his face. "Hm..."
No. Soleum wanted to raise his voice to warn the other. He had a tight leash on his dorm mate, but just now he had given away a weakness. He couldn't afford the equilibrium of his life getting interrupted. "Dont--"
Saheon had already gotten up with an innocent expression and waved towards the man. "Sunbae! Over here! Do you want to sit with me?"
Soleum wanted to punch him. He wanted to hurt him, wanted for all the air to leave his lungs from a hard punch... But this ugly side wasn't something he wanted him to see. And when their eyes met and the man smiled with his eyes crinkling in the corners, all his anger melted away.
With measured steps he walked over. "Good afternoon, Saheon." And then he looked at the waiter (because that was all Soleum was in his eyes. The nameless waiter of his cafe nothing else) and greeted him "good afternoon, Soleum."
And he almost died right then and there because what. Usually he just called him "Mr. Employee" and Soleum never introduced himself. So what so what so what
For some reason Saheon made a disgusted noise and then cleared his throat. When Soleum looked over, Baek Saheon discreetly touched his own chest.
Oh, right. His apron had his name displayed. He almost made a fool out of himself. Reluctant appreciation for his dorm mate filled him, but he wasn't a fool. He knew that if he gave too much away Baek Saheon would use it later to blackmail him. So he simply put on his customer service smile and answered: "good afternoon, customer-nim... The usual for you?"
"Mh... It's too hot for tea", he said with a smile after thinking for a moment. While thinking, he twirled the pen in his hand once, twice. It was something Soleum had noticed him doing quite often. He would hold a pen in the hand not holding the book, even though he never wrote anything down. And sometimes he would twirl it when deep in thought. Like he was right now. "Bring me something cool to drink, please, Soleum." And then, as if to kill him, he added: "Your choices always delight me, so today I will once again be in your hands."
Yeah, bye.
Thank God for his pokerface. Soleum might have just embarrassed himself otherwise. This way he could at least say "okay" before walking away. He somehow managed to keep his screaming internal.
--
Saheon was too good in social settings with his innocent facade. The entire time Soleum had to work that day, Saheon was chatting with that senior, wearing an innocent smile. That senior, being really polite, would answer diligently. While he was holding his book in his lap, he never opened it the entire time he was there to enjoy his drink.
In the end he thanked Soleum and paid without having read a single page. But that smile on his lips stayed gentle and kind.
Saheon left not much later. The grin he sent Soleum was really nasty and gave him a bad feeling. Still, it seemed like Soleum's misfortune had cheered him up enough to not cry about his family anymore.
--
When Soleum returned home later that day, his dorm mate was leaning against the kitchen door with a wicked smile. As a "friend" who had shared the same space as him for several years now, Soleum knew what this meant. This snake was waiting for Soleum to offer payment. He could only sigh and rub his face with his hands.
This was ridiculous. It was just a senior that he somewhat liked. What exactly he liked about him? It was hard to put into words. Was it the way he conducted himself with grace in every movement. The gentle smile? The way it might not be completely genuine? The way he was focusing in on his book, but still always stopped to politely thank Soleum? Different from his dorm mate, his own family situation was fine. He wasn't so starved for affection and he didn't believe in love at first sight either. It was merely a pull that both attracted him and kept him at a safe distance at the same time.
Fuck it.
Saheon already got involved, might as well take advantage of the information he had gathered. "I will take care of your next group project." It was a once in a lifetime offer. And the other should recognize that as well.
"Wow." A pair of thin brown eyebrows got raised as high as possible as he studied him. "You are that far gone, huh. I wouldn't have thought you'd be the type to--"
"Do you", Soleum interrupted him with a clipped voice. "Accept? Or don't you?"
Saheon hummed and then shrugged. "I would recommend you to not go after Ho Yuwon-ssi."
Ho Yuwon. So he knew his name now. Ho Yuwon was the name of the handsome man. But apart from that... He lowered his hands to look at the other with a calm question in his eyes.
Saheon shrugged. "He is known to be somewhat of a heartbreaker. He might seem like a gentleman, but is actually quite shrewd and leads people on. And on top of that..." He lowered his voice a bit to whisper. "He isn't a student."
!
Soleum could only stare at him. If he wasn't a student, that could only mean...
Saheon nodded. "He is a professor of psychology at our college. I couldn't believe it either, right? I even called him sunbae and he didn't correct me..." He glanced away. "But he is older than he looks. He is a heartbreaker and even if he accepts you, rumors will start."
"..."
Silence settled in between the two young men as Soleum struggled to find words to say to that.
"So don't do it... You hear?"
--
Ho Yuwon stepped into the cafe at the same time as always. This was a routine that had existed for over a year. Soleum saw him enter from the corner of his eyes. Should he say that his body was automatically atuned to the other?
He tried very hard to not look in his direction, but soon had to when the professor approached the counter. Because Soleum worked here and the other was a customer. Like always, he received a smile that was full of warmth and kindness. So this smile was indeed fake? Soleum always thought the other felt goodwill towards him. Just how much about him was genuine.
The sly fox said: "Good afternoon, Soleum."
Am I already lost? Soleum kept his face neutral and put on a smile. Another broken heart on his boulevard of broken dreams he is walking on? "Good afternoon. The usual for you?"
A soft chuckle escaped the other's lips and caused a pleasant shudder to run down his back. "Like always I am in your care."
Fuck... He took a deep breath. "You knew my name the entire time, but never said it before. Was there a reason for that?"
The other slowly blinked and then chuckled again, this time seemingly a bit embarrassed. "Oh dear, I must apologize. I haven't really thought about it... I didn't really look at your name plate at first. By the time I became conscious of your name, we had already established a routine... Was it uncomfortable for you?"
This much consideration. Everything he said seemed to be genuine in Soleum's eyes. Were the broken hearts all students who approached him, not knowing he is a professor? Did they mistake his kindness for interest and that's how he got that reputation? But... I am a student as well. If none of the other ones got a chance, I don't either.
Soleum was a rational person and a coward. Their current routine, surely they could still keep it up, even as student and professor, right? There was nothing forbidden or shameful about it...