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As Leona stared out into the inky blackness outside his window, he couldn't help but feel anything but tired. He knew logically it was nearing one in the morning and he should be asleep. He would normally be asleep.
He was known for sleeping everywhere. In class, the botanical gardens, everywhere and anywhere he could get comfortable, but the past few days, sleep had made it its mission to elude him. Making his already snappy attitude worse.
He was tired and angry… and lonely, but there wasn't anybody he could talk to. It's not like anyone would want to listen; he could talk to Ruggie, but sharing his feelings with the hyena, or anyone really, made his insides twist in a way that made bile collect in his throat.
His thoughts had been having a mind of their own as of late. Keeping him up until the early hours of the morning. When the sun would paint its beautiful colors of reds and oranges and pinks across the sky. He liked the sunrise, but it got old after having to watch it rise every day without any sleep. It especially got old when he would only get a measly few hours and be forced to attend class.
Today had been partially rough, however. He only managed to get two hours of sleep the previous night; his classes were a bore, and the stupid lizard hadn't made a single appearance. That last point shouldn't have made any difference. It really should have been a positive point, but the lizard had made a presence in his life, and their daily chess matches were the only thing he looked forward to with this bout of insomnia that seemed to plague him. The coat hanger's absence only allowed his thoughts to run even wilder.
His thoughts didn't quiet for the rest of the day. Not at dinner or when he was getting ready for bed, and they seemed to only get louder when he lay down on his bed trying to sleep for what felt like an eternity. His thoughts swirled and collapsed into each other like crashing waves, swallowing the other just to do it again and eventually drag him under into their inky depths.
The thoughts only seemed to quiet the tiniest amount when he had gotten up and walked over to his balcony. Where he found himself now, looking at the millions of stars staring back at him, blinking, taunting. Leona had sat himself on the edge of his balcony railing; the cool breeze of the Savannah gently tussled his hair and cooled the sweat on his brow.
It was peaceful. He would appreciate it if he had the capacity in his mind to, but all he wanted to do was sleep. He had come to know that every time he ended up here, he wouldn't be able to enter sleep's gentle embrace. He tilted his head back to stare at the stars instead.
He had always loved the stars; stories of his Ancestors plagued his youth. The stars in the sky represented those who had come before him, always to be looking down and watching over those of the royal family and his country after their deaths. ‘Ask them for guidance in your times of trouble, and they will answer you’ was always told to him. The Ancestors will hear you; they will help you.
They didn't seem like they wanted to help now or anytime, really. He couldn't count the number of times he had looked to the stars for guidance and received an answer. His great Ancestors in the sky always stayed silent. Never answering his cries for help.
He stopped when he started attending NRC. Roommates made it difficult, and by the time he had become a housewarden, he had lost hope in his Ancestors helping him. They never helped him before; why would they help him now?
His reminiscing stopped when he felt the wind behind his swirl. The trickle of magic turned into a flood as the man materialized in the room. Malleus always had that effect.
The way he moved and spoke, it commanded your attention. The wave of magic he left in his wake had you turning your head or fleeing. Leona took a deep breath before he turned his head. Malleus stood there in all his glory, his sleepwear impeccable even in the late hour. The horns on his head and the tail on the floor seemed to glow with the power of what he was. What showed people who he was. A sigh left the beastman's mouth, and a chuckle almost followed when a slight pout formed on the fae's face.
“Kingscholar.”
Leona looked him up and down once before turning his attention back to the stars. “Lizard, to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you?” Sarcasm dripped from his voice like it was soaked in it. The feelings swirling inside of him were not helping a single bit.
The things he felt for Malleus had him wanting to hurl. The want and dread filled his gut until he couldn't hold it down. He wanted so many things in his life, and Malleus Draconia was one of those things. And just like everything else in his life, he would never have it.
“You have been… strange lately. I want to know why.”
The question was perfect from someone like Malleus, demanding to know something he had no entitlement to know. He and Leona were not friends; they were not anything. They were not in love; Malleus did not view him in such a way. Would never, no matter how Leona wanted him to. “Why is it your business? It doesn't affect you.” Steps sounded behind him, the overwhelming sense of raw magic pushing closer to him. “But it does. Tell me, Leona, what ails you?”
Biting back a scoff, Leona traced the constellations with his eyes. “Nothing does, you overgrown Lizard. You can leave now.”
A hum sounded behind him, the raw magic pushing against his back. It clung to his shoulders, slithering around and down his front. The feeling made him heavy, like he was made of lead. A hand pulled at his hair, the tick of claws tapping against the beads adorning the ends of his hair.
Snapping his head around, the beastman glared at Malleus. His face twisted in his best attempt at a scowl. The hand did not draw back; instead, it twirled the hair around one digit. The beads jangled as they clicked together, the gold shown in the moonlight. “What do you want.” Left Leona’s mouth before he could stop it. “What, in the name of the Seven, do you want from me at one in the morning?”
“To know what ails you, as I've said.” The hair was dropped as Malleus spoke in a way that said he was confused and annoyed at Leona’s question. Like the answer was self-explanatory, like it was normal. Normal for Malleus Draconia, the future king of Briar Valley, to ask Leona Kingcholar, the second prince, how he was. Leona's tail twitched around his legs, itching to curl around Malleus’s own. The pull was disgusting; Leona was disgusted.
Leona stared at him, his face incredulous. “Really?” It was meant to be sarcastic, but the truth that spilt into the words had him cringing. Seven, couldn’t he pull it together? He looked away, pulling into himself.
Arms landed on the railing next to him, the pale skin a stark contrast to the night. Malleus leaned forward, far too close for Leona’s liking. “What are you doing?”
“Tell me about the stars.” Malleus ignored his question, sparing him a glance before turning his attention to the dots that sparkled in the sky. Leona stared at him before clicking his tongue. He stared up at the sky, his eyes tracing the different constellations once more. “What do you wanna know?” his nails drummed against the wood.
“Your culture believes the stars are your ancestors, correct?”
Leona nodded, watching as Malleus twiddled with a lock of his hair. Twirling it around his finger over and over again. “Yeah.”
“Tell me about that.”
A hum came from the beastman; his legs brushed against the wooden post under him. Malleus seemed to glow in the moonlight, his hair like black starlight. His skin was like porcelain. He looked ethereal to Leona’s eyes, the picture of who he was supposed to be. The perfect prince, the future king. “Well, it’s said that when someone in the royal family dies, they go to the stars. The great ancestors that watch over all.” his hands moved in a wide arc to the sky as he spoke. “They help and keep you safe. You can pray to them, and they will answer your call.”
“Have you prayed to them?” Malleus asked, his hand, once in his hair, inched closer to where Leona sat.
“Yeah, we all did when we were kids. It was cool to think about my ancestors watching over me. Too bad they never answered.”
Malleus looked over at him, a quizzical look on his face. “You expected them to answer?”
“I don't know, Lizard.” Leona threw his head back, tilting it to lean towards Malleus. “I was young and dumb. You believe everything your parents tell you.”
It was quite a moment, the air buzzing with unspoken words. The raw magic that surrounded Malleus swirled in the air, bracketing Leona on all sides. It was like a crushing weight, squeezing his lungs until they could no longer hold air. It was divine. “Do you believe that now?” A scoff came from the beastman's mouth. “Believe my ancestors are watching over me? That's hilarious.”
“Why so?” Malleus straightened up, turning to look at Leona fully.
“They never answered. And if they are watching over and protecting me, why would they make my life hell?” Leona glared at the man, his brows pinched, and his mouth turned into a scowl. “I am a curse upon my people, Malleus. These ‘ancestors’ have done nothing for me.”
The fae stared at him, his brows drawn together. His face was strange, emotions flickering across its surface too fast for Leona to make out. Finally, it settled on disbelief and slight anger. Why in the Seven was Malleus angry? “You are not a curse, Leona.”
The use of his name had the beastman slightly surprised, but he refused to be taken aback by such a thing. Spinning around, he jumped off the railing. Starting back into his bedroom, he spoke as he walked. “Yes, I am; look at me.” he pointed at the scar on his face. “This is a curse; it is bad luck. My magic is even worse. I bring destruction to a place meant to bring life. I am everything my country fears.”
Malleus had followed him and stood a few feet away. His mouth pinched as he listened to what Leona had said. “That is not true.”
A scoff sounded in the room. “You know nothing of my country; you know nothing of my life. So stop acting as if you do.” Leona wanted to punch him in his stupid, perfect face, break off one of his horns. Seven, why must the fae be everywhere? Why must he be in his life? The beastman stared as he waited for a response, growing impatient as the time stretched.
The fae hadn't spoken; instead, he looked conflicted. His face was drawn together as he looked at Leona. His mouth opened, then closed. The fae took a step forward. “Then tell me. You push me away so often; why not let me in?”
“And why would I do that?” Leona took a step back. “Why do you want to know?”
“Because you are not a curse, and it ails my heart that you think so. “
Ails his heart? What the fuck was the Lizard talking about? Another scoff worked its way up his throat, but he pushed it down. He had scoffed far too much today. “Yeah, sure. It ails you so.” His mockery of the words had Malleus’s face twisting in anger. “It does. I do not appreciate you mocking my words.”
“I'll stop mocking your words when you're not speaking bullshit.”
“I am doing no such thing, and I am appalled you think so.” Malleus crossed his arms over his chest, taking another step towards the beastman. Leona looked at the distance between them, his mind running in circles at what the fae was saying. It was stupid for Leoan to think Malleus actually cared about him; it was idiotic on a superior level. “Yeah, and why exactly do you care?”
The room went silent at Leona’s question. Malleus swallowed hard; the beastman watched his Adam's apple bob as he did so. “I… love you, so what ails you is important to me.” The answer seemed to stop time. His fingers tingled; his legs felt numb. A static filled his ears; his head pounded for all of 5 seconds before the world went quiet. Everything came into view: Malleus, the sky, the raw magic around him. “...What?”
It was spoken so quietly it was barely a whisper. Malleus looked very uncomfortable after what he said, shuffling on his feet as he neared the beastmen. The distance between them had shortened to a mere foot.
His mouth filled with saliva as he swallowed hard, looking up at Malleus; he asked again. “What?”
“I love you.”
The words didn't seem to compute in his head, spinning in circles as they danced in his brain. The words just didn't make sense. Malleus loved him? That was absurd. The Lizard didn't like him, couldn't love him. Leona wasn't loved; he was something far from that. He was mean and cruel and made sure it stayed that way. He hurt the people around him. Ruggie nearly died by his hands; Malleus couldn't love him. Leona took a step back, and Malleus followed after, never leaving more than a foot between them.
“No, you don’t.” Leona managed to get out, glaring at the other. “You do not love me. You know nothing about me.”
Malleus grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand towards his face. His cold skin met the back of his palm, the porcelain-like skin soft to the touch. “But I do. I know far more than you would like to think, Leona.” The beastman shook his head, yet didn't move his hand. The fae's head tilted to the side in a questioning manner. “Why should I not love you?”
A laugh startled out of Leona's throat; oh, he could name so many wrong things. He looked at Malleus with a resolve in his eyes; he might want the monstrous man in front of him, but he knew he could never have him. “I am mortal; I am a curse upon my people; your people will hate me if it comes to. So many things are wrong with us, Malleus.”
The fae's eyes held a challenge in them, a challenge Leona knew he could never back down from. A head leaned into his hand, Malleus rubbing against the skin of his palm. “You might be mortal, but that is not stopping me. You are no curse; you are a blessing.” The fae’s hand moved to grip him as he was pulled closer. Landing with his free hand on Malleus's midriff, he swallowed as he continued to listen. “My people will love you as I do. You can not say you do not love me; I know you do. Tell me you do not feel the same, Leona.”
Silence followed. Leona couldn't; it wasn't true. He loved Malleus; despite his better judgment, he loved the fae. Removing his hand from Malleus’s face, he moved to grasp the fae's hand. Taking a step back, he pulled him forward.
A bed hit the back of his knees as he shuffled onto it, pulling Malleus along with him. “I can not say I don’t,” he spoke truthfully into the air between them, sitting back against the pillows arranged on his bed. Malleus looked mildly confused about what was happening, yet a glimmer of happiness rested in his eyes at the words spoken. “You… You, Malleus, are something I can not get rid of.”
He pulled the face towards him, situating them so Malleus was resting against him. “Do you wish to get rid of me?” Malleus asked, leaning his head against the beastmens.
Leona was tired, so tired. The heaviness in his bones outweighed the simplicity of logic. Resting his head against Malleus's shoulder, he closed his eyes. “No. No, I do not.” A happy-sounding noise came from the fae, like a bell's jingle. Maybe it wasn't so bad. Everything was warm, and Leona could finally sleep.