Work Text:
Test Run
Lena hasn't been in a gay club since her college days, when she had needed a fake ID to get in the door. Her social life had never really revolved around going out and getting drunk while looking for hook-ups, but her choice to do so, to live a normal college life, had been taken from her, first by Lex's controversial speeches then by his violence, and now... now she's a CEO, in no position to be seen in any kind of club, let alone a gay one, and she's still suffering the effects of Lex's actions.
But no one recognizes her. No one bats an eye at her as she makes her way through the crowds, an eye on the dance floor wondering how far she wants to take her little test run. She's wearing a prototype image inducer, one that had passed tests in laboratory settings, but that needs field testing as well. She's the perfect candidate to test if the image inducer works properly. She would know immediately if it failed, from the gasps and stares at seeing a Luthor of all people in a club.
But she had seen the data, had ran the lab tests, had worked on the device herself at every stage. There's no one she trusts more than herself with this final test.
And, if she were being honest with herself, she could use a night to unwind that wasn't getting drunk by herself in her lonely penthouse.
But when she sidles up to the bar she sees an unexpected person. Kara Danvers is sitting there, a drink in front of her, ignored as she looks around the club with a frown. Her eyes land on Lena for a moment then slide past her, and Lena knows the image inducer is working perfectly. There's no other way her best friend wouldn't recognize her, wouldn't jump up and ask what she's doing in a gay club.
Now the question is, what is Kara Danvers doing in a gay club?
There's only one way to find out.
"Waiting for somebody?" she asks, trying to throw her voice.
Kara looks at her and for a moment she fears she's been made. Those blue eyes seem to spear right through her and that familiar wrinkle appears above her brow, the one that shows she's thinking too hard.
But when she speaks it's without recognition. "No, no, just..."
"Nervous?" Lena tries. Kara could be there for a few reasons, she's sure, considering her sister and her job as a reporter. But if she's not there with someone...
"Yeah," Kara admits with a breathy laugh. "It's my first time in a place like this."
"A gay club?" Lena prompts.
"Yeah." It's said quietly, barely audible over the music from the speakers across the room. "I, uh, started noticing someone close to me, and um, started questioning some things."
A thrill shoots through Lena. She knows Kara has many friends, but how many are close? She likes to think she counts among that number, and she had given hints and signs for Kara without a whiff of reciprocation, but maybe she had gotten through to her in some way. Or maybe it's someone else, Sam, perhaps, or names she's heard without faces to go with them, names said fondly, wistfully, as if the holders are far away but near to her heart anyway.
With a new face Lena feels just bold enough to ask.
"Tell me about her."
"How long do you have?" Kara jokes, the infectious smile Lena knows so well taking over her face.
She returns it. "All night, if you like."
"She's... incredible," Kara says. "It's funny, my sister came out a long time ago, but I never really considered it myself. But the more time I spend with her..." she shrugs. "She's all I can think about."
Lena takes a deep breath. "That didn't take all night."
Kara laughs. "I can keep going, but that's not really a conversation then, is it?"
"No, I suppose not," Lena says.
"So tell me about you," Kara says. "Do you come here a lot?"
"I- no, clubs aren't usually my scene," Lena answers.
"Are you new to all this too?"
Lena shakes her head. "No, no, I've known I like women as well as men since I was a teenager. I just usually prefer places that are a little more discreet."
"How did you know?" Kara is looking at her again like she knows who Lena is under the inducer, and Lena licks her lips.
"I went to an all girl boarding school, there was a lot of experimenting and practicing going on. Then I realized that for me, it wasn't an experiment or practice at all."
"You know, I always heard rumors, but I never knew how much stock to put in them," Kara says with a laugh.
Lena shrugs. "It certainly wasn't everyone, and maybe that's telling on its own. I think it's likely that the young queer girls found each other rather than every girl who goes to a boarding school tries to kiss their roommate."
"I guess that makes sense," Kara says.
"Is that what you were looking for tonight?" Lena asks. "Someone to practice with?"
Kara stares at her for a few moments. "Kind of a bold question when we don't even know each other's names."
Lena tamps down her panic and schools her features. "I wasn't necessarily talking about myself," she says as her mind casts around for a name that isn't her own. She sticks her hand out when one comes to her. "Jess, by the way."
"Jess, huh?" Kara asks. Her smile is back though, and she takes Lena's hand. "Kara. Nice to meet you."
"You too," Lena says. "Like I said, I wasn't trying to be presumptuous."
"It's okay, I was mostly teasing anyway," Kara says. She looks out at the other people in the club, the vibrant life and movement that Lena belatedly realizes she had been easily ignoring in favor of talking to Kara. "I don't know what I was looking for, really. Maybe to see how I fit here, to see if it felt right."
"And how do you feel?"
"Like maybe I didn't pick the right place to go to," Kara says. "I'm also not really a club kind of person, they're usually too loud for my taste. It's hard to actually get a feel for the people around you here, when everyone's so caught up in trying to hook up or take someone home."
Lena believes it, considering the sweater vests and cardigans, the sensible slacks and shoes, the altogether wholesome vibe that Kara usually exudes. She raises her hands and puts a smile on. "Like I said, I wasn't being presumptuous."
Kara laughs again. "No, no you weren't. But you have been lovely company, and you've helped me see things a little more clearly."
"I'm glad I could help," Lena says, though she's not quite sure how she has.
"Would you want to go somewhere quieter," Kara asks. "Since you've been such good company, and so helpful to someone who's figuring things out. It might be selfish, but I'd like to talk to you a little bit more."
Lena has the crazy thought that maybe this is a ploy, that maybe Kara sits and waits and pretends to be a poor baby gay to attract a companion for a night. But then why would she talk about someone she's hung up on? Sympathy, a dark part of Lena's mind answers. Every queer woman can relate to a crush on a straight friend. Lena's rational mind tries to tell her that Kara's too guileless to pull something so predatory, to lie so naturally and so well. She focuses on that, on her belief in Kara.
"Let's go."
It's Kara who leads her through the crowds and out the door, a strong hand on Lena's arm just tight enough to feel warm instead of constricting. The outside air is clear and blessedly quiet, and Lena misses Kara's warmth when the other woman drops her hand from Lena's arm. She lets Kara lead them, which turns into a meandering journey towards a park she recognizes as being near Kara's apartment. They stop on the way at a pizza by the slice place, and Kara scarfs down three giant slices and half of the slice that Lena can't finish as well.
They talk while they walk, about National City and the gay scene there. Lena is barely more knowledgeable than Kara despite her longer acceptance of herself. Her work hours leave her little time to indulge in recreation, but she takes what she knows from Alex and what little she's learned on her own and manages to give Kara a rough picture of the community.
Kara talks about Alex too, about Alex's coming out and her early struggles with dating women. Lena gives what advice she can, but she might just be the only person more of a workaholic than Alex Danvers, which is saying a lot. Kara takes the offered advice with one of her bright smiles, and Lena feels an urge to ask after Kara's 'someone close.'
She decides to follow it. "Want to tell me more about the woman who caused your gay awakening?"
Kara bites her lip and looks around the empty park. She leads Lena to a bench and takes a seat. When Lena joins her, Kara fixes her with an intense stare, a serious look that Lena rarely sees on Kara's face.
"She's my best friend. She's the most incredible person I've ever met."
Her breath leaves her and Lena feels like she can't draw another. Kara has a lot of friends, but she's only referred to Lena herself as her best friend. She feels trapped, stuck to the bench not by Kara, not physically at least, but by the weight in her stare. "Kara..."
"And she deserves to know all off me before I tell her what I feel," Kara interrupts. "She deserves to know my secret."
"Your secret?" Lena's mind races with possibilities that flit by too quickly for her to properly consider.
"I've been lying to her since the first day we met. I lie to her every time I see her. I know how much she values honesty, and I know that she's suffered betrayal from her family, but I just keep lying to her. I regret how long I've held onto this part of me that she doesn't know, and how I've let fear keep me from letting her in in the way that she deserves. And I can only hope that she can forgive me when I tell her that I'm Supergirl."
Lena's breath rushes back to her, too fast after not enough, and she almost hyperventilates. After a moment she manages to choke out, "that's impossible."
Kara gives her a wan smile. "It isn't."
She rises a few inches and when Lena looks down she sees Kara is floating in the air above the bench. It doesn't make any sense. Why would she tell some stranger when she hasn't even told Lena? After claiming to know how much Lena has suffered from people keeping secrets? Why had she hidden it for so long? Lena could understand keeping it from her for the early days of their friendship, even months into it, but they had called each other best friend months ago, and weren't best friends supposed to share everything with each other?
Then Kara sets down and continues speaking. "Flying, super strength, super speed," she says. She leans in. "Super hearing. Hearing good enough that I can hear heartbeats. I can even recognize ones I hear a lot."
She knows, Lena realizes. She knows that she's Lena putting on another face. "Kara," she says again, feeling like a broken record. At least Kara had been coming clean and not giving her identity out to random women she met in a gay club.
"I don't know if she'll forgive me," Kara says. "And even if she does she might not want to give me a chance. But she has to know. Everything, everything I've hidden from her, my identity, my thoughts and reasons, if she'll let me tell her, even if they're not great, and," Kara swallows and Lena thinks she sees tears in her eyes, "that I have feelings for her."
Lena knows the next step is up to her, that Kara has opened herself up and laid herself bare. She reaches a hand up to the image inducer behind her own ear and switches it off. Kara smiles at her, hesitant but hopeful.
"There she is," Kara says with a small smile.
"Here I am," Lena says. "Did you know I was there?"
Kara winces. "Not until you were right in front of me. Like I said, clubs are usually too loud for me."
"So you were really there for-" Lena can't finish her question but Kara nods anyway.
"Figuring myself out." Kara takes a quick breath. "And you?"
"All true. Everything I said tonight."
"So I should start calling you Jess?" Kara teases.
"That- fine, I lied about one thing," Lena huffs.
Kara's smile fades. "I don't have any room to talk about lies, not when I've been keeping this part of me from you for so long."
Lena isn't sure if Kara is talking about her other identity or her sudden confession. She decides to start with the safer topic, as far as she can see. "Maybe. I can't exactly blame you for keeping Supergirl a secret from me."
"You're not mad?" Kara asks.
She is, a little bit. She's hurt and confused as well. But Kara is coming clean to her, clearly tense and worried about her reaction, not to mention... everything else that Kara had said. "I'm a Luthor," she says with a shrug.
Kara grabs her hand. "I hope you know that that isn't why I didn't tell you."
"Isn't it?"
Kara sighs. "Maybe at first. You were an unknown quantity and Kal and Alex were so worried, but you- but you said something that really resonated with me, and I wanted to believe in that."
"About family?" Lena prods. "And getting out from under their shadow?"
Kara nods. "Superman is a hard act to follow." She looks away for a moment, then sighs. "And I also know what it's like to have a complicated family history. I would hate to have someone judge me for it, even if I..."
"What do you mean?" Lena asks.
Kara looks to her again. "I told you as Supergirl about how my family disillusioned me. Lillian's work was based on my father's. He made a biological weapon to destroy non-Krytponian life." Lena gasps at that and Kara's face tightens up. "Like I said, I understood you. Our families tried to do the same thing, both with the excuse of protecting their worlds."
"Okay," Lena says. "Okay. And after the interview with Kent, why did you come back? Why did you approach me about the press conference."
"We had information that you were being targeted, I didn't want you to die," Kara says. "So I tried to get you to put off the press conference, but you didn't, then you came to me about the gala, and I just... couldn't keep away."
"You couldn't..." Lena whispers with a frown.
"Nope," Kara says. "Not even if I wanted to. You take so much on yourself, things you don't even have to, and you do it because you're a good person. You're trying so hard, and so few people give you the credit you deserve, and I could see that even early on, and I wanted to be one of the people who could give you that credit. I wanted- I wanted to be with you as you changed the world for the better."
"Me?" Lena asks. She's thrown by the passion directed at her, by the reverence in Kara's voice. It's hard to believe that anyone could think of her with such high regard, but at the same time it's hard to deny Kara's sincerity.
Kara gives her a soft smile. "Yeah. You."
Lena takes a deep breath, the kind one takes before a plunge into the unknown. "So, your feelings for me."
Kara winces. "I'm not expecting anything. I know I just dropped a bomb on you, and you might not even want to look at me anymore-"
"Never," Lena cuts in. "I'm still full of questions, and- and maybe I am a little hurt. Would you have told me about your other identity if you didn't run into me tonight?"
"Yes," Kara says, her voice strident. "Of course I would have. I- I didn't exactly have a plan or a date or anything like that, but you're- you're so important to me, there's no way I could have kept that part of my life from you any longer."
"And everything else? Our lunches, movie nights? Those weren't elaborate ploys to get me to-" Lena isn't sure what to ask, between the suspicions she's still sure Supergirl must have had about her and the feelings that Kara has confessed to having.
"No ploys, honest," Kara says. "You're- you're an easy person to want to be around. You're so smart and witty and warm that I can't believe I'm the only one who sees it, and part of me wishes everyone could see you the way I do, and another part-" she cuts herself off and Lena is bemused to see a flush in her cheeks.
"Go on," she says.
"Another part of me is glad only I get to see it, that I get to keep some of you to myself."
Lena wonders if Kara knows just how effective praise is on her. It is, if she's being honest with herself, one of the reasons she had been drawn to Kara in the first place. The other woman had been so effusive with her belief in Lena that Lena had never really stood a chance at staying away. Just as Kara herself had said of Lena, she thinks.
Lena had spent her entire life second guessing every person she interacted with. She had even done so with Kara, at first, before Kara's persistence and sunny demeanor had convinced Lena that she was being authentic. This confession, that Kara hadn't been what she had seemed, had shaken her conviction. But...
But Kara has shown herself to be honest in coming out to Lena- in more than one way. Supergirl has saved her life time and again. Kara Danvers believes in you echoes in her head, and Lena snorts. Kara gives her a worried look but Lena is struck by the irony of Kara telling her in the third person of her belief in Lena.
Lena tries to give Kara a reassuring smile and reaches a hand up slowly, leaving time for Kara to react or ask what she's doing. She doesn't do either, and instead allows Lena to pull the glasses from her face.
"I wonder if I would have put it together on my own," Lena says as she takes in Kara's face without glasses. Or perhaps it's Supergirl's face with an updo. She wonders what Kara thinks of the dichotomy between her two lives.
"You're a genius, Lena," Kara says, "of course you would have."
"I don't feel particularly smart, seeing you like this," Lena says with a chuckle. "And now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure you told me you came to L-Corp on a flying bus, and I didn't think anything of it. And the amount of food you can put away, Kara, there are so many things I should have seen."
Kara shrugs. "People still don't really think 'alien' when they see someone do something weird. And I usually am pretty good at hiding my alien traits, it's just-"
"Just what?"
"You're one of the few people who's seen me a lot as both Supergirl and as just me, and you... kind of make me nervous."
"Oh?" Lena's surprised, then she sees the look on Kara's face.
"Well, I only just realized recently why," Kara says. "Which was part of the reason I was in that club earlier."
Lena ducks her head and bites her lip. Can she be so greedy? To have sweet Kara Danvers and intense Supergirl? Of course, Kara is the person she had harbored a crush on since at least seeing her in that dress at the gala that... that she had invited both Kara and Supergirl to, when they were the same person the entire time.
She feels a headache coming on.
Perhaps dealing with Kara's two identities will be better handled in the light of day, some time removed from her confession. She can deal with her doubts and pains as well, though Kara's blushing sincerity has largely assuaged them. And maybe she's weak for it, but she can only think of one thing to do.
"For what it's worth," she says, "you make me nervous too, for rather similar reasons."
When she meets Kara's eyes again she finds the other woman blinking at her owlishly. "You? I make you nervous?"
It's Lena's turn to blink at Kara. "Of course. Don't tell me you haven't noticed."
"But you're always so put together, and you never trip over your words or anything, and there's that thing that you do with your eyebrow that makes me feel like you can just see right through me."
Lena arches the very brow that Kara is talking about and smiles as Kara flushes.
"Exactly, that look!" Kara says with an accusing finger pointed at Lena's face.
"Maybe I just hide it better, but Kara, I've never had anyone in my life like you. So trust me when I say, I didn't know how to approach our friendship, but it was very easy for me to feel more for you than that." Lena watches the impact her words have, with Kara's face shifting from amused to stunned to open hope. "And I still feel that. If... if you'd like, I'd be open to exploring more with you."
"Like dating?" Kara asks.
Lena nods.
"Then- then you're okay with-" she gestures to herself vaguely.
"You? Of course I am, darling," Lena says.
"All of me?" Kara asks.
It strikes Lena that Kara is asking not just about being a woman, not just about being Supergirl, but about being an alien. Which, while she hadn't thought of pursuing a relationship with an alien before, doesn't seem like such a bad idea when it's Kara she's thinking of.
"I'm not my family, as someone keeps reminding me," she says.
"I know but... not everyone is comfortable with aliens. There are cultural differences and some fears and worries that- that matter to some people."
"Are you still Kara?" Lena asks.
"Yeah," Kara answers, looking a little thrown at the question.
"And the time we've spent together, that was all authentic?"
"Yes," Kara hurries to say. "Everything, every word."
"And you believe in me?" Her voice is quiet and Kara straightens at the seriousness of the question.
"Always."
Lena smiles. "That's what I fell for. Your warmth and optimism, how open you are. You already seem to have a grasp of human culture anyway, and I'd love to explore your culture with you, if you're up for sharing-"
She's cut off by Kara's strong embrace. "I want," Kara rasps into her ear, "I want to share that with you. No one- no one has ever offered-" she chokes on her words and draws in a shuddering breath.
"Their loss," Lena says as her hands come up to circle around Kara. Privately she's fuming that no one else who has been interested in Kara has wanted to share her culture, and she promises to take in every bit of it she can to give Kara someone else who she can talk to, celebrate with, someone who understands, even if she doesn't yet.
Kara pulls away and wipes at her face. "Sorry, just, I'm so happy."
Lena grabs her hand and holds it while she catches Kara's eye. "Me too. You've been making me happy since we met, and I can only imagine how much better we can be now."
Kara bumps her forehead into Lena's and grins. "You're perfect."
"I wouldn't go that far," Lena says. "Although you are lucky that I don't particularly mind what's in your pants."
Kara blushes clear to the roots of her hair and stutters a few nonsense sounds. Lena laughs.
"I can't say I don't have my preferences, darling, but I am a little curious," she says.
"It's- I'm- that's- that's not exactly a first date kind of topic!"
Lena smirks at the most flustered Kara she's ever seen. "Kara, this isn't much of a date, let alone a first one. Besides, this is hardly our first date."
"What?" Kara asks, her eyes widening.
"We meet up for lunch, you bring me some when I'm busy, we have movie nights, we've cuddled on your couch." A slow realization overtakes Lena that she and Kara have, in fact, been dating for months without even noticing. She sees the same realization settle on Kara's face.
"Maybe you're right about that," Kara mumbles, her eyes faraway.
Lena leans in and presses herself against Kara. She's glad they're both dressed for a night out; her best assets are on display, and Kara has more skin than usual showing. Kara definitely notices Lena run a hand across some of that exposed skin.
Lena drops her voice to a suggestive drawl. "So if this isn't our first date, why don't we go back to yours and you can give me an answer to that question?"
Kara squeaks, but doesn't resist when Lena takes her hand and pulls her along as she rises and heads towards Kara's apartment. She knows that they have more to talk about. She knows she'll have to work through some of her trust issues, because she knows that Kara hadn't meant to hurt her or betray her trust. And she knows that she, at least, would like clarity about what they want from each other, what they are to each other. What their future looks like, what their relationship will be.
But tonight, all Lena wants to do is make up for lost time.