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It starts innocently enough - one evening Joey’s particularly bored in the lead up to a broadcast and the next the entire control room is engaged in all out war.
The first shot is fired by Joey in early September. Herb always starts his evening with a freshly brewed mug of steaming coffee and announces loudly to anyone that passes that if they knock it from his desk he’ll knock their head from their neck.
He’s very particular about his coffee - it’s a blend his wife has specially imported from Ethiopia and he claims that it’s the reason he’s always cool, calm and collected during the show.
The plan is simple. The afternoon before broadcast Joey simply slips into the break room and hides the tin.
By the time 8 o’clock has rolled around Herb’s face is the darkest shade of red Joey could have imagined and whilst Mackenzie tells him quite firmly that if he doesn’t sit down, press buttons and run the damn show to perfection, I’ll kill you, Joey still takes a strange delight in watching the older man's hands twitch and his lips snarl in between clips.
Herb turns at one point and catches a glimpse of Joey’s smirk and in that moment he knows he’s been made.
After that; war is declared.
Herb ‘accidentally’ spills water all down Joey’s front in the rush between the studio; Joey ‘unfortunately’ forgets to tell Herb about a technicians meeting Mackenzie schedules the following afternoon and by the end of the week the two of them are so highly strung with nerves Joey’s found himself jumping whenever a door slams behind him.
Herb may be older but he’s sly as a fox and Joey knows that his final act of revenge will be swift and severe.
So, like any good soldier, he enlists the help of Jake, and then Kendra, and then Gary, and by Monday the entire studio sans Will & Mackenzie has declared war and taken sides.
There’s a clear spread of honey on all the seats of Team Herb on Tuesday evening, and on Wednesday someone manages to hack into Joey’s computer to change the graphics on the show five minutes before broadcast.
The look on Mackenzie’s face when it comes up with NewsNight With Billy the Barbarian is only rivaled by Will’s ears going a startling red; but luckily Joey is smart and manages to fix it a full minute before broadcast.
After that, things get serious. Mackenzie notices her entire control room is slowly spiraling out of control and Joey gets the horrible feeling that the tiny, sharp eyed woman is planning something positively evil.
In hindsight, her casual dismissal when Team Joey almost destroys a broadcast (not that it was their fault -Team Herb had switched half the wires in the main switch board during a routine rehearsal) should have been a sign that things were about to implode.
If they were smart they would have called a truce, or united against their common enemy - but Joey, Herb, Jake and their comrades were so entrenched in their war they didn’t notice when a newer, greater enemy arose.
They should have known not to underestimate Team McAvoy/Mchale.
The call comes at two in the morning.
Joey’s asleep and dreaming of fresh donuts and a long, languorous nap on a beach when his phone starts ringing shrilly.
Mackenzie is on the other end and all she says is, “breaking news, we need you at work in under half an hour," before hanging up. Joey’s out the door in under five minutes and at the studio within ten.
The rest of the team is thundering down the halls - Herb still in his flannel pajama pants and Kendra with two coffee mugs in her hands. The fact that half the producers - Jim and Maggie and Don and Sloan -aren’t with them should be the first clue that something’s up, but middle of the night broadcasts aren’t unheard of, not when exciting or important news is about to break.
"What do you think it is?" Jake whispers conspiratorially to Joey, and the young man merely shrugs and tries to settle the rolling in his stomach. Middle of the night broadcasts are incredibly rare, but they’re almost nevergood news, and he can’t imagine what major event has caused it.
Perhaps there was an attack? Or something’s happened to the president? Or a major city?
There was a cyclone off the south coast that they’ve been monitoring but it wasn’t supposed to cause any great damage; and he can’t imagine why it would be important to broadcast that news in New York in the middle of the night.
Mackenzie greets them all at the studio door with a grave look on her face and a sharp order to be ready in twenty minutes - she looks harried and her hair is in a messy bun pulled back with bobby pins and clips. Joey and Herb share a startled look. She hadn't look this concerned the night they caught Bin Laden.
"What’s happening?" Herb mutters under his breath, and Joey forgets the war and the strategies and the rivalry and sends his friend a comforting smile.
"Nothing we can’t handle," he mumbles back, even though the tension in the room is palpable.
"Do we have graphics?" he asks Mackenzie when she reenters the control room, but she shakes her head quickly and points at one of the screens.
"Will’s got his script, that’s all we have so far. Are we ready?" she orders, and everyone nods quickly.
The camera starts and focuses on Will at his desk - and that’s when Joey feels his stomach drop completely.
Because Will is sat at the anchor desk in one of his old grey shirts, with his legs propped up on the desk - leaning back leisurely with his arms crossed and a knowing smirk.
The entire studio - filled to the brim with all the nervous, startled, exhausted members of Team Joey and Team Herb - stops and stares and then shudders as Will smiles smugly.
"Good morning everyone," he yells, voice thundering through the controls, “How are you all this fine hour?"
They traipse home from work at 4 am with sharp orders to return for work on time the following day. Joey feels a little betrayed, but also berated in a way he hasn’t since he was a small child.
Will and Mackenzie’s cat like smiles as they’d firmly informed the entire studio that if they ever dared disrupt a broadcast again by going to ‘war’ they would be fighting a different ‘war’ and that would be unemployment, are still tumbling around his brain and he knows that he won’t be crossing them any time soon.
They’re scary in their own ways while apart; but they’re absolutely terrifying together.
"Hey, Joey," calls Herb, and Joey turns to find his old comrade ambling through the foyer. Jake’s behind him and the two are holding their coats firmly around their bodies, about to brave the cold - Herb still in his damn flannel pajama pants.
"Drinks at Hang Chews?" Jake asks, “None of us are getting back to sleep so we may as well make the best of it."
Joey pauses and thinks of his warm bed and his warm apartment and then thinks fuck it, why not.
"Sure," he beams; and the three friends walk from the building.