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Familiarity allows Valleystaff to navigate her conservatory with certainty, ducking under hanging vines and pots of plants to pluck a few stems of a blooming sage.
She adds it to the growing bundle of herbs in her arms, stopping momentarily to examine the ratio of different colors of flowers and greenery before taking a few more stems of the sage, just to be safe.
There never seems to be enough when it comes to Egobworder.
Once the batch of plants met her expectations, Valleystaff returns to her lover, where she awaits on a concrete bench and runs a worn handkerchief down her blade.
A light smile greets Valleystaff as she approaches, and to her delight, accompanied by the naked face of Ego. Her helm rests besides her, and she sets her gear next to it as Valleystaff approaches.
“My savior,” Ego says with a playful wink. Valleystaff huffs a laugh as she settles next to her.
She grabs hold of her mortar sitting beside her, bunching up a few of the herbs to grind with the paired pestle. As the sound of scraping fills the conservatory, Ego takes it as her cue to regale Valleystaff with a retelling of her latest adventure traveling around Craterdust.
Pulverizing herbs is a very frequent act in her job, so Valleystaff has no problem in separating her attention on Ego’s chatter while going through the routine of making the poultice. She hums and nods along as she learns of the Inphernals Ego saved, the monsters she’s slain, the aid she’s provided to every small town and village she’s visited. It’s all very noble work, as expected of Craterdust’s self-proclaimed most honorable knight.
Yet, Valleystaff finds her smile slipping as Ego begins to describe the blow that struck her down and forced her to limp back to Valleystaff’s conservatory. A puncture wound dealt through the back of her chestplate and on her right shoulder.
It wasn’t fatal in of itself, but it was deep enough that Ego could not swing her blade effectively, and permanent damage could ensue if she kept disrupting the torn tissue and muscles from trying to heal. That wasn’t even beginning to account for the threat of infection.
As she sprinkled the last of the leaves into the mortar, Ego moved to unstrap the armor covering her torso and arms. Valleystaff couldn’t look away as Ego’s body was slowly revealed with each bit of metal removed. Nearly every patch of skin bared light marks that glaringly stood out from Ego’s gray tone.
Perhaps it was wrong of Valleystaff to think, but she truly hated the scars that stained her lover.
She knows, tells herself this each time she has those thoughts, that it was more logical to hate the evils that caused them instead, but she can’t prevent the sadness buried deep in her heart from welling up that makes her look away at the sight of them.
Valleystaff finds them painful reminders of every time her lover was almost taken from her. Ego finds them trophies of every battle she reigned victorious.
With the last piece of armor stripped away from Ego, Valleystaff gets to work on peeling away the bandages swathed all over her shoulder. Thankfully, Ego’s little medical knowledge is enough for the wrappings to be clean and secured well enough, and it even seems that they must have already been changed before she arrived.
Underneath it proves so as well. The wound isn’t bleeding – probably hasn’t been for the better part of its existence – and instead appears pink and crusted. It’s already mostly scabbed over with no sign of infection, which has relief slightly easing the pinch in Valleystaff’s face.
Still, she scoops a good amount of the herb mixture onto her fingers and begins spreading it over the parts of the injury still exposed.
Ego doesn’t even flinch at the sting or coolness of the paste. She’s fallen silent now, letting the quiet take lead of their little routine. Valleystaff considers breaking it to scold her for her recklessness, but when she opens her mouth, the words escape her tongue.
The only thing that comes out is a muted sigh. What would she even say?
Anything she could think couldn’t dissuade Ego, and everything she’s tried has already ran its course. If she were to bring it up again, Ego would only smile teasingly and disregard her worries with a joke. They’ve done this song and dance for so long that Valleystaff knows she’s running out of things to say, and Ego already knows what to expect.
It must be why she’s stopped talking – Ego is awaiting the part where Valleystaff will reprimand her. Normally she would, but this time around, hopelessness has its claws dug into her, and the thought that nothing she says will get through to her anymore triumphs over anything else.
Valleystaff loves Ego, so much, but the one part of her that is so incredibly frustrating to deal with is her headstrong carelessness.
Ego is always so determined in everything she does. Nearly nothing could stop her once she’s set her sights on a goal, even if it seems unattainable. Valleystaff finds it admirable at best and an outright death sentence at worse.
Because Ego would stare down any threat in the eye if it were in her way, no matter how big or viscous or notorious it was. There was an unstoppable nature to her, one that forced normally immovable obstacles to move, to bend, and eventually, to break.
She just worries that one day, Ego will be the one to shatter.
Valleystaff recalls the time Ego had limped home to her with three mangled limbs and a toothy grin, and as Valleystaff was doing her best to calm herself whilst simultaneously trying to salvage them, all Ego had done was boast about the killing blow on the Drakobloxxer she’d taken down.
Of course she had managed to recuperate from the battle, but Valleystaff thinks of the what-ifs every now and then.
She glances towards them now, light scars that zigzag around Ego’s forearms born from razor sharp claws slicing through skin and muscle. Valleystaff can’t help but imagine the jagged wounds again, the blood, the bits of white bone peaking through stringy flesh -
“Hey, you all done back there?” Ego’s voice cuts through the memory.
Valleystaff’s eyes shift to Ego’s face, who has turned to the side to peer at her. She’s smiling, but there’s a slight questioning tilt of her head.
Something in Valleystaff’s expression must give away her gloom. Still, she forces a smile and nod, moving to set the mortar to the side before grabbing some bandages to seal the wound again. Once they’re secured to her liking, she begins to clean up while Ego rolls her shoulder around.
“So, what’s my diagnosis?”
Valleystaff frowns and swats at Ego’s hand prodding at the covering, and Ego lets out an amused huff.
“You will be able to fight again in a week. But for now, plenty of rest, and make sure you replace the bandages daily.”
Ego swings her legs over the bench to face Valleystaff. There’s a mischievous quirk to her lips before it’s taken over by an over-exaggerated pout.
“That’s it? No kisses?”
There she goes. Valleystaff rolls her eyes, though she can’t keep a grin from creeping on her face. Every time, without fail, Ego plays this game once Valleystaff finishes tending to her wounds.
“For what, making me work? You should be repaying me, you know.” And every time, Valleystaff plays right along.
“Ah, but I require more than just salve for my injuries! I’ve been inflicted with a grave illness, you see.”
“Really? You don’t seem sick to me.”
“It’s fatal. The only cure is a kiss from the loveliest Inphernal across the land.” The words bring a light blush to Valleystaff’s cheeks. Years later, she still flusters under Ego’s charm.
“What is this illness you speak of?”
“Heartbreak.”
“Heartbreak?”
“Yes,” Ego’s face almost turns stony, but there’s a tremble to her lips that tells Valleystaff she’s trying to suppress a smile.
“You wouldn’t withhold medicine from your favorite patient, would you?”
Valleystaff hums and taps a finger to her chin. “I don’t know, I am low in supply right now.”
“Oh, Please! Heal my poor, neglected heart, doctor!”
She scoffs and begins to turn away when a hand latches around her wrist. Ego leans towards her, eyes wide and pleading as she shows off her most miserable sulking frown yet. Valleystaff feels her heart twist, and her facade falters before she’s sighing loudly.
“Come here, you needy knight.” Valleystaff relents, like always.
Ego practically turns into the sun with how bright her expression gets, a giddy yet triumphant giggle escaping her as she scoots close enough that their thighs touch. Valleystaff is pulled in by the shoulder, and she has to lean down to meet the lovesick grin on her idiot knight’s face.
The first kiss is chaste, a light peck that lets Valleystaff feel the smile still present on Ego. They part, just barely, enough for Valleystaff to feel the singular delicate puff of breath Ego lets out, soft as a dandelion, before they join together again.
Valleystaff’s gut flutters as their lips close more intimately on one another, but it is just that. There is nothing more except the presence of her lover pressing against her, and she drinks in the warmth that their shared space forms.
Like this, she can feel the full shape of Ego’s lips, and how they slot perfectly against her own. There is a sense of wholeness that could not ever be brought on by anything else, and it makes Valleystaff yearn for more. They hold each other as the moments pass, and she thinks she could stay in Ego’s arms forever, their love all-consuming.
But, the Inpherno keeps spinning, time goes forward, and Valleystaff eventually runs out of breath. Still, Ego breaks away first, gasping for air, so close to Valleystaff she’s taking in her exhales. She watches Ego’s eyes as they flit from her own lips to her eyes, searching for something Valleystaff does not know, but nonetheless she finds, as she grins all amused and open-mouthed.
Valleystaff wants to ask what was so funny, but she’s still panting herself and waiting for her heart to calm, so she settles for a noiseless ‘what?’. Ego only shakes her head, her shoulders bouncing in a silent laugh. Valleystaff isn’t offended though, instead focusing on the way Ego’s head tilts back as she giggles, the sunlight chasing away the shadows in the creases of her face. Valleystaff stares at the clear display of affection, the comings of joy in Ego’s bright smile, and her heartbeat jumps back up in her throat.
Everything about Ego, even down to her little facial quirks, endeared Valleystaff. There is no doubt in her mind that she loved this knight, and witnessing the domestic side of Ego had Valleystaff fall for her all over again.
This is what she missed every day while Ego was out adventuring across the land, her silly jests, her cheeky yet charming flirting, the way she seems to breathe life into the conservatory more than Valleystaff’s plants ever could.
This is what she will miss once Ego leaves her again.
Valleystaff feels her smile falter.
She moves a hand to cup the back of Ego’s bare head, nudging her forward. Ego accepts and lets Valleystaff guide them into another kiss.
As their lips unite again, Valleystaff’s other hand comes up to hold to Ego’s cheek. She feels Ego’s own join hers as well, holding it against the light smattering of freckles Ego has. Valleystaff leaned into the act, trying to burn Ego into every sense of hers, her taste, her skin, the light noises their bodies made as they pulled into each other.
She tries to memorize it all – the scars and divots engraved into Ego’s lip that the flesh of Valleystaff’s own fills in, the prominent shape of Ego’s jaw her palm is pressed against, Ego’s rough, calloused fingers curling around Valleystaff’s, the feeling of perfect warmth that radiates wherever Ego touches.
Valleystaff takes it all in, a map of only Ego and her body and the way she makes her love, commits it to memory because there was no way Valleystaff knew when she’d come back, and she’d rather not be left in the dark with no certainty her lover would find her way back to her.
And if it were the last kiss she’d ever receive, Valleystaff would never forgive herself if she forgot how it felt.
Parting was hard for Valleystaff. She chased Ego as she retreated, which prompted a small chuckle-turned-cough out of the breathless knight. Ego’s mouth quivered as if she wanted to say something, and Valleystaff could hear it clearly: ‘Who’s the eager one now?’
Still, she forces herself back, even if she wanted more. The ache in her lungs begins to fade the longer she pants freely in the open air.
“I did not know you could be so intense.” Ego finally says.
Valleystaff doesn’t answer, her focus elsewhere as she forces herself to recall the dying sensation of the kiss. She squeezes the hand still engulfed in hers, receiving an answering one in return. It still takes several moments for her to relent and look up from her lap and into Ego’s eyes, which bored into her with slight alarm.
“Hey, what’s the matter?”
Ego suddenly begins to pull away from her, frowning deeply.
“Did I push you too far? I’m sorry, I didn’t think-”
“No! No, it’s not that! Never!” Valleystaff’s hand shoots out to grip Ego’s shoulder and anchor her.
Relief slightly eases Ego’s tight, concerned expression, but it still persists, her silence a sign for Valleystaff to continue.
“It’s just…”
Valleystaff feels guilty, ruining the mood with her worry. She can’t help it – the images of Ego splayed on the ground, a growing puddle of blood from some inexplicable wound haunt her every night in her dreams, lurk over her thoughts every day like a thundercloud. It’s exhausting, and Valleystaff wished she could trust her lover enough for them to stop, but no matter how much she tries to quell her own fears she finds she just… couldn’t.
“You need to be more careful,” Valleystaff recites her words from weeks before.
“Of course, Valley. I promise,” Ego, as always, lies.
Valleystaff’s eyes trail across the cracks in her teal horns, traveling down her scarred and freckled torso until it reaches their entwined hands in Ego’s lap, lingering for a moment.
She sighs. “I’m serious this time,” she says, as if every one of her pleas to Ego were anything but.
Ego lifts a hand to Valleystaff’s cheek, tilting her head down the slightest bit to make eye contact. Ego’s gaze had softened into something gentle and amazed, and her smile had widened, baring dimples.
“You should not worry about me.”
Valleystaff glances at the white mark stained near her heart like a starburst. How could she not, when the memory of her lover’s blood on her hands plagued her each night?
Ego brushes her thumb across Valleystaff’s cheek when she doesn’t speak again.
“I always make my way back to you in the end, do I not?”
At what cost, though? It may have been a more minor wound this time around, but who’s to say it will turn out like that the next time? How long until Ego suffers a worse injury, one that will leave her bleeding and gasping on the floor of the conservatory as Valleystaff desperately works to save her?
Valleystaff doesn’t voice her concerns, however. She can’t stand to listen to Ego brush them away again, as if her care for her did not even matter in the end.
Instead, she gives a feeble nod. Ego’s palm lingers for a moment, and there’s a silent hesitance in the way her breath pauses as if she were going to speak, but then it’s gone and Ego is pulling away, and Valleystaff feels the cold seep into the space Ego’s fingers had warmed.
“Do not stress yourself. I will not let anything keep us apart, ever.”
Then, gentler: “I promise, okay, Valley?”
It does not even matter, Valleystaff thinks. Ego could swear on her own head and it would not even matter still.
Valleystaff closes her eyes.
“Okay,” she says.
Ego seems satisfied with that, because Valleystaff could hear her begin to shift around. She feels a tug on her hand and with some reluctance, lets Ego’s pull away from hers. The sound of metal clinking together and rustling cloth lightly echoes through the conservatory.
Eventually, Valleystaff opened her eyes again to watch as Ego dressed. Each article of clothing, each piece of armor was slipped and clasped on, slowly covering her scarred body. All the while, Ego chattered once more, mentioning a few locations she planned to visit when she departed, chasing the tense silence away.
Valleystaff hated how it easy it made it for her to calm down. That thoughts of her lover’s safety could be so easily dismissed like it was simple everyday conversation. It almost seemed like it was, just that it occurred every time Ego visits her instead.
The helm was the last piece Ego left, but she left it lying on the bench beside her. Ego then turned towards her, and Valleystaff suddenly felt grateful that she could stare at the softer face of her lover rather than the harsh metal, even if it were just for a moment longer.
“Anything else her majesty demands of me before I take my leave?” Ego teases.
Right, that reminds her. Valleystaff plucks the couple fennel bulbs she had set aside earlier, plopping them into Ego’s arms.
“Brew the leaves into a tea. It will help with your sores and aches.”
“Aw, I was really hoping it would be another kiss -”
Laughter echoes around the conservatory, light and easy, as Valleystaff shoves Ego’s helm onto her head.
She can’t help the smile that forces its way on her face, airy bursts of warmth erupting in her chest with every giggle that falls from Ego’s mouth.
No matter how upset Valleystaff would get, she will never not be charmed by Ego’s coyness.
They share another kiss, a little too fleeting for her likeness, but it eases her fluttery heart all the same. They gaze into each other for a minute as their lips part, and Valleystaff wishes the sun will halt in the sky, so the moment could be theirs for as long as they want, but Ego pulls away after a few seconds, and moves to latch her helm onto her head once more.
Valleystaff stands as her lover does, chest and armplates secured with the fennel cradled in one hand and the hilt of her gear in the grasp of the other. Ego’s fond expression hasn’t faded, only grows as she grins down at Valleystaff with gratitude.
“Thank you, my love. What would I ever do without you?”
That, Valleystaff does not like to ponder. Her smile strains, but she tries to keep her tone light nonetheless.
“Do not think of such things, it would be unbearable without you.”
“And without you as well, Valley.” Ego coos.
She turns and walks towards the entrance of the conservatory, the late sunlight shining down through the windows and ceiling unto her armor. It casts the metal in a golden hue, so that Ego looks truly regal, seems untouchable with the glow around her figure, but Valleystaff can only focus on the scratches and chips marring it instead.
They’re more noticeable, illuminated in such a way that her gaze is immediately drawn to them. She grimaces at the damage, and is overcome with the urge to stop Ego from leaving, to exclaim that it won’t be enough to protect her, to tell her to stay with her in the conservatory, but she knows Ego won’t listen.
Nothing ever seems to be enough when it comes to Egobworder.
Ego throws her one last smile over her shoulder before she disappears from the hall, and Valleystaff stands still even after the clunk of her boots has faded.
Ego will be back again, of course. Maybe not tomorrow, or even next week if she stays true to her promise, but someday she will falter in her stance or trip over her own feet, and it will be all that needs to happen for danger to close in on her.
Ego will return, and someday, Valleystaff knows, it will be in a casket.
Her eyes rove around the doorway, attempting to willfully ignore the pouch of lily seeds hanging off a nearby shelf.
When she can’t, she simply mourns the day she has to use them.