Chapter Text
"Papa?"
Orange opened his eyes to darkness. Before turning in, he had closed the curtains, but he knew, even without any indicator of sun or moon light, that it was still nighttime.
Well, there was some light in his room. Turning his head to the right, revealed his bedroom door open and Gold standing in the threshold. There was a little light coming from the living room which lit her back but totally obscured her front in black. She simply stood there, unmoving... it was a bit creepy as kids accidentally tend to be.
"Gold?" His voice was rough and barely anything came out, he cleared his throat then called her name again.
"Papa?" this time she whispered.
"Yeah, it's me. You can come in, honey."
Gold closed the door entirely, and it was pitch black for a long second until his eyes began to adjust. She never closed doors fully, her bedroom door was always ajar and so was Orange's, she didn't even close the bathroom door all the way. She said she didn't like feeling trapped. As much as this worried Orange, Gold insisted that she just Didn't Like It - simple as pie, and Orange supposed he too was scared of things he couldn't really explain.
She slowly walked towards the bed and grasped the edges of the mattress, but did not go any further even when Orange unraveled some of the comforter. Whatever upset her, she was visibly antsy about it; Orange had never seen her this scared even when he had tried to get her used to sleeping in the dark, and had briefly removed her nightlight.
"You wanna lay with me?" Orange asked.
Gold nodded enthusiastically, and climbed in only with Orange's guidance.
"What happened, hon?"
"I... had a nightmare." She said very quietly. If it weren't for the absence of noise during the night, Orange wouldn't have heard her.
Matching her volume, Orange asked, "what was it about?"
"I don't know. I don't remember. But I'm still scared, even if I don't know."
"That's okay, it's okay to be scared."
Gold snuggled up close and disappeared completely under the comforter, she was hiding her head against his chest like a kitten. It was honestly very cute, but the adorable factor was dampened by her apparent fear.
"Try and sleep, hon. Papa's here." He patted her back gently.
As he stared into the black, closed eyes indistinguishable from the darkness, he began to wonder about work; how it might go and what he might do. The newness of it, navigating the office space and his coworkers. The thought was just boring enough that it was slightly putting him to sleep.
He heard Gold call: "Papa?" In a distant way, half in a dream and half in the waking world. There was a slight ring in his ears which only went away as the shock from his sleep being disrupted faded too. Ah, he must have dozed off.
"Gold? You're still awake?"
"Yes."
"Are you still scared?" Even as Orange asked, he noticed that Gold was still tense, and had barely changed position since he closed his eyes.
"Yes..."
Man. He really didn't want to deal with this right now. He's beat from packing all week, and especially the six hours he had to drive today (or yesterday, it was definitely past twelve), and he has to wake up early because Gold's got her new school and Orange has his new job. And he just—he needs his rest.
But he has to deal with it. And it's not really Gold's fault. Children don't know much of anything about the world yet, and must imagine some crazy ideas to explain the unknown of it all.
"Papa?"
"Mm. Yes, hon?"
"Can we move back?"
"No. I got a promotion here, remember?"
"I don't know what a promoshun is, and I don't care. I wanna go back home."
Orange scoffed. The audacity of this kid. He's going to be making way more than he used to... not that money means anything to her.
"Why do you want to move back, Gold?"
"I just... I don't like this house. It's scary."
And then it just clicked for Orange - why Gold was so scared. This house was new and foreign; this house's darkness was just so Different from their apartment's back in the city, even Orange could feel that it was totally darker. But if it was the newness of the house that really laid at the base of Gold's fears, then Orange could not do anything about that, at least not in one night. It would take time for this house to feel like home. For the both of them.
No, there was no fix. For now, all Orange could do is to be there for Gold in her fears, even if irrational; even if that meant staying up all night despite work tomorrow. And probably waking up late … for his new job (what a great first impression, he was going to make).
So he kicked down the comforter, at the same time bringing Gold into his arms so he could carry her, then they sat on the edge of the bed. The world was cold outside of the warmth of the blanket, even with the floor heater which was situated by his bed—and Gold's too—temporarily until he can get proper HVAC installed (this house came cheap for a reason).
"Alright. Come on." He said, standing up with Gold situated at his hip. Gold did not complain; although, even in this darkness, he could see the confusion—or better put—Curiosity in her eyes.
He wandered out into the living room, here all the lights were turned off save for a floor lamp in the corner. This light was enough to illuminate all of the room's emptiness, save for the cardboard boxes scattered around. And the couch which came with the house, it was a blue-gray and very uncomfortable in comparison to their couch at their old apartment. There was a blanket that Gold had tossed carelessly onto the back, and Orange realized, upon touching it, that it was actually his blanket. It was a soft blanket, but not the kind made with fleece which was a material that made Orange disgusted upon touch, rather it was merino wool dyed red. He remembers on their road trip to this new place, he had brought it out from the trunk for Gold because she was getting cold, then she must have left it here when they arrived.
He took the blanket and then entered the small kitchen to grab a drink from the fridge. It, of course, was basically empty for Orange had yet to go grocery shopping; in it lie only a 4-pack of beers and some leftover take-out. He took out a beer then stepped outside through the door which led to the backyard.
It was much colder down east and away from the city. Most obviously because it was winter now, and though there was no snow yet, the local forecast projected some in a couple days. For now though, there was simply a visible layer of frost on the ground. Interestingly, in spite of the darkness inside the home, it was very bright out; Orange could see quite well.
In the backyard were two white, plastic chairs shoved flush to the wall, in between them was a table with a hole to hold an umbrella, but there was no umbrella in it. A layer of frost was on the chairs, so Orange settled the blanket on one then sat Gold in his lap.
"It's cold out here, Papa."
"Yeah it sure is, but that's what the blanket is for." Which he took and wrapped around the both of them. His feet, which were in socks but otherwise unprotected in his slides, were unfortunately subject to the winter air as the blanket just stopped short of his ankles.
He put the beer on the ground, realizing only then that he had forgotten his bottle opener and could not actually drink it.
Gold shivered a bit, and Orange worried about this idea of his; he thought that getting out of the house would be good - a change of environment. It's probably not such a good idea if Gold freezes, or even gets frostbite.
"Are you too cold? We can go back inside."
He would typically never do this, but he could take out the box TV and play a movie for her to sleep to, even though he had a hard rule about watching television past bedtime (even he wasn't allowed to).
"Um. No, I'm fine." She said, mid shiver.
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
Gold squirmed a lot on his lap, like Orange was a very uncomfortable chair that, with enough adjusting, she could eventually get used to; all the while, she kept her head mostly under the blanket. She finally seemed to get comfortable, settling her back to Orange's chest and hugging her knees close to her.
"Well. If you get too cold, let me know, and we can go back in." Orange said.
"Okay." Though Gold had a sort of shiver to her voice, she sounded a bit better now - obviously less scared than she was before.
With winter air, there was a sort of sound. Well, no, it wasn't a sound, but rather the lack of it. There was nobody, no animal to make noise - all sleeping, hibernating. It wasn't Orange's favorite season, but he certainly could appreciate the beauty of snow and the lull which winter brought.
"Papa?" Gold was quiet—not whispering, just hushed—as if she understood that she must maintain the serenity.
"Yeah, hon?"
"I'm scared."
"Still?" He couldn't tell if he was exasperated or amused.
"Not of the same thing..! I'm scared to go to my new school, I think."
"Oh."
"My friends won't be there?" Gold looked back and up at him.
"No, I guess they won't be."
"Awh." She made a pained noise, it reminded Orange of a wounded animal. He frowned.
"You're going to make new friends, hon, easily at that. You're a lovely girl, you know?"
"I know, but—I just miss my friends. And I don't really like it here."
Moving here is a big change, of course it would be hard on her. "You'll adjust." He hoped.
He hugged Gold closer to his chest, and Gold hugged back, holding his arms tight. Orange loved his daughter absolutely. And if it was needed, he would move away, move back. But ... (he can't afford city life!)
"Gold. I won't lie to you, getting used to this new place is going to be hard. But I am going to be here to support you, and…
"You're a strong kid, Gold. I know you, and I know all this newness is going to be something easy for you."
Gold sniffled. "You think?"
"I know." He squeezed her real tight until she squealed.
"AH—okay!" Gold giggled a bit and pushed at Orange until he let up. "Remember when I fell down the stairs?" She said.
"Um. Yes."
Why would he ever forget? According to Orange, Gold tripped on her untied shoelaces - according to Gold, she just skipped a step and fell; however, Orange is certain that she just didn't want to admit that she should have listened to her dad about tying her laces. In whichever case, Gold fell down the stairs, some tall ones at that. She tumbled all the way down these metal stairs that led out of their (now old) apartment and straight to the sidewalk. Somehow, with some luck, she managed to not break a bone, but it was maybe a miracle that Gold hadn't cried. Really, Orange had been more shaken up than Gold was (he thought surely he had a heart attack when he saw her fall), but she just laughed like she simply scuffed her knee after playing on the playground.
"If I can take that then I got this. Easy."
"Easy-peasy lemon squeezy."
Orange pinched her cheeks and Gold smacked at his hand. She put her back to his chest again and looked up.
There are many instances like that where Gold hurts herself and she's totally fine, totally chill. Like when she had swung real high on the swing set trying to go all the way around, well her grip slipped just as she was upside-down; she landed on her back and got the wind knocked out of her, but she was fine. Wasn't scared to try again despite hurting herself (well, Orange didn't let her, and he shouldn't have let her the first time anyways).
Or when some punk kid kicked a soccer ball at her face, her nose broke from it and she had to go the hospital, but she didn't cry. She was actually pretty angry, understandably - the kid purposefully aimed at her face; Orange was equally mad, but the kid didn't get any punishment even when Orange went to the principal himself. The next day, Gold pushed him off the swingest and managed to not get in trouble for it. She bragged to her papa about it, and although he didn't verbally condone it, Orange was proud of her for standing up for herself.
Gold was one tough cookie.
"Woah..." Orange heard Gold mumble, and when he looked down at her, her eyes were wide, almost bulging, like she couldn't open them large enough to capture what she was looking at. The sky reflected in her eyes and made them sparkle.
Orange looked up to see what she was marveling at, and gasped himself.
The night sky was a black-blue instead of the foggy gray Orange was used to. More than that, though, were the stars—not just the clarity of them, but the abundance. Among the tiny white, shiny specks was a shape clear as day. It was hard to miss yet Orange only noticed it now. Only now, as he sits in this backyard, and never when he sat on the balcony of his old apartment?
It was as if someone gave the sky a bath, scrubbed it of its muck. Because it was beautiful, all new and shiny. The moon gleamed, though not full, it still shone bright enough to illuminate the night. It lit up enough anyways to see Gold's giant smile.
Yeah, she'll be just fine. Orange thought.
"Papa?"
"Yeah, hon?"
"What's ... up there?"
"Up there?" Orange pointed to space, at the same time Gold raised her hand.
"Yeah."
Does she mean the stars? Or beyond that - beyond the Outernet, beyond space; what's in the universe?
"I uh, I don't know, sweetie."
"You don't?!"
Well, no, he doesn't know everything. Gold looked at him as if this were news. He was a bit flattered by it.
"I don't think anyone knows, Gold."
"Oh. Why isn't anyone trying to know?"
"Well, I'm sure maybe scientists are trying to figure it out."
"Oh."
A pause. Gold looked incredibly contemplative, serious even. Orange wished she thought over her homework this hard.
"Can I be a scientist when I grow up?"
"Of course, hon, you can be anything you like."
"Yay." Gold let out a little cheer. "I want to be the first to the stars."
"I believe in you."
Orange snuggled close to Gold, and they observed the night sky together.
She eventually fell asleep that day. Apparently the best sleeping conditions are frigid air and open sky; which was a pretty clear precursor for Gold's future love of hiking and camping.
Gold was not the first to outerspace, someone had long beat her to the punch. But that did not hinder her love for stars and space in the slightest.
That day defined something for Gold, the stars aligned for her to see. She had a genuine passion for the cosmos which Orange tried his hardest to foster. He bought so many DVDs, only some borrowed from the library—which Gold went to practically everyday to get a new book about space. She was smart kid (obviously because she's Orange's kid), but it really only started to show then, like she had been saving it all up for this. She managed to figure out pretty early on that she wanted to be an astrophysicist.
And now, his house is littered with motifs of her, of her passion: in those books, but also in drawings and crafts. Crafts of cut out stars strung on string, and rocket ships molded from clay—she had dioramas of space, and science was the only grade she had an A in. There would always be doodles of stars on her body, and she even made a star-shaped patch for her jacket. Maybe she was a bit obsessed, but all Orange saw was her passion, and it's not like it was causing any harm. She wanted a telescope for her twelfth birthday, which Orange had been saving up for.
All of this, all of her love of space was obvious in every room; really, it just made it that much harder to navigate their home after she died.