Work Text:
a couple pieces of beige parchments with handwriting that is either flowing with elegance or rushed and hesitant lie on the desk. glittering sunlight with specks of dust illuminating the workplace
The traveler told the wanderer to find their “surprise” here…
I don’t believe you’re one for letters, since you say you like to be frank with people. But for the sake of my own sentimentality, I’ll gamble on your heart this time
My journey through Teyvat was for a singular purpose at first, and I thought it would always remain for that purpose. That I would never settle, never linger, and just pass by like the wind. But people like you make that decision difficult. Make these connections troublesome to sever.
When I first met you in that rundown factory in Inazuma, I had nothing but loathing for you. So much so that I would joke about it with myself, calling you belittling names and such, because I had just figured you were just another villain, another head on the wall of trophies I would collect. Another pebble for me to kick aside on my road. A cruel description, no? You gave me that impression. Like you didn’t care about anything but your selfish desires. Funny how you always said you weren’t human, yet you acted just like any average human would.
I was hoping not to see you again, but knowing my disastrous luck and “fate”, I would be set face to face with you again in Sumeru. Except.. that time was different.
Something must’ve been in the air, or I was feeling a penchant for a good backstory. And I love making fun of you and being mean to you, because I want you to know how it feels being talked down to. Just like you do to me.
The rest of the page has scribbled out lines.. so he goes to the next page
I think I fell for you around that point, when your past was revealed to me. And I remember feeling a myriad of conflicting feelings.. was it a mix of pity.. self righteousness or something else, I could never tell. All I knew was that suddenly, I wanted to save you
Were it not for the circumstances at the time, I might’ve even had the courage to leap forward and save your fall. I might’ve even went back to check on you
I knew that things weren’t just going to end off there after that, and I was right. Suddenly I see you walking around in the city again, and I berated myself for the way my heart seemed.. light.. at the sight of you
For some odd reason I’ve grown excited, happy, to see you. But you always made it so difficult to sympathize with you, with how much you back-talked or gave me those awful glares.. yet I could never fault you for it. If I were in your position, I might’ve done the same if felt like I was backed into a corner
And… when you discovered that truth in Irminsul… and asked to hold my hand… I wonder if you saw the genuine concern I had for you in my eyes back then
I wonder if you heard my voice calling out to you when you wished yourself gone. Wished yourself dead from the world
Another scratched out line. The traveler sure is decisive with what they want to say… making him read a whole thesis on their feelings for him. At this point, the wanderer is half considering stopping here before things get too sappy and icky for his liking.. but… this might be the first time in a long while he’s ever read something so… ridiculous.
He doesn’t know if he should laugh or mock the traveler. Of course, he’s not heartless (and deep down he knows this truth), and he doesn’t feel.. a small shred of… admiration, perhaps even feeling touched by their efforts. But this is just so long and so sentimental… they really couldn’t have put their thoughts in a more concise manner? He might just have to teach them on how the Akademiya accepts theses and force them to write that way next time
When I saw you in the bazaar for the first time since that night, I was shocked- as would anyone be upon seeing a deadman.
But honestly? You were so cute… haha
And the wanderer rolls his eyes at this
But I had to set things right.. and well.. you remember how it all went. You were there
That’s ridiculous- you were there for everything…
More scribbles and more rambling. He never thought to pin the traveler as an overthinker.. well, at least he has something new to mock them for
I hope you appreciate the effort I chose into picking your name when you asked, and I hope you know that I really did take great care into the thought… I know how important a name is to you, so I hope you cherish it
As I cherish you… honestly, I don’t know why I poured my heart out to you. I’m sure you can still read my mind or something, or perhaps I’m just so obvious you saw it coming a mile away. But every time I see you, you make my world.. pause
Because tell me how am I meant to continue this journey, to leave part of my heart behind, and perhaps this world behind, after you’ve affected me so?
I hate you, and I love you too much
The wanderer sighs. His eyebrows furrow slightly in conflicting emotions
It’s not like he’s never felt something for the traveler, but this fear is something he’s never wanted to address directly. Perhaps even now
He knows he can’t put his heart into the traveler’s hands because they’re just that. A traveler. Someone looking for their twin, and a way out of this world. And one day, they’ll find their exit and leave him. Leave him wanting, leave him hurting, just like everything else before. And it aches, and hurts and almost pricks tears into his eyes
And yet.. his vision faintly glows at his chest every time he sees them. Their golden hair and radiant eyes.. or hears of their stories while passing time at a cafe.. or the way he secretly hopes they’ll pass by the Akademiya to see him when they’re in Sumeru
“How cruel is fate, once again.” He thinks to himself… looking at the long letter, with its numerous papers and heart-filled ink
And at that moment, the door opens.. and the traveler stands there.. watching him with.. hesitance, fear, trepidation.. too many feelings
“Come. Let’s talk.” Wanderer says, calmly
And the traveler mentally prepares for the worst, sitting at the end of their bed and staring up at his.. distractingly beautiful eyes
The wanderer leans in, standing before them.. brushing a strand of hair behind their ear while holding their chin
“.. and after wasting my time, making me read your bold sentimental thesis… you’ve got nothing to say for yourself?” Wanderer smirks, he loves to make the traveler feel inferior, sometimes even furious when the words are played right
The traveler sighs and looks into his eyes after a while.. nervousness seemingly taking away their ability to speak.. usually Paimon does all the talking necessary, but they can’t rely on her for matters of the heart…
The tension between their eyes is almost suffocating. Both want to admit their feelings but neither wants to back down and admit vulnerability first. Even if the traveler had poured their heart into the pages- they can’t just.. start begging him- that’s ridiculous! But… they know he needs.. a little push sometimes
The traveler calls out his name, the name they had chosen for him… and Wanderer’s eyes soften
“… I can’t promise you I’ll stay here forever.. and I can’t promise I’ll always be around… I can’t even promise I’ll always have time for you”
“.. but I.. really want…” their usually confident, controlled voice falters with trembling emotion
“I really want…” they take a deep breath…
“I really want to love you… and cherish you…” They breathe it out like an intimate whisper.. and hasn’t ever interaction between them been so?
The wanderer never lets anyone else close to his heart, and it’s not like there are many individuals, say apart from Nahida, who know about how he’s really like
If he wanted that.. archon-forsaken feeling of… love.. and mutual acceptance… of being wanted, cherished… this is his best bet. Unless he’s willing to open his heart to the world again, which he isn’t considering at the moment
The wanderer gently caresses their cheek again, speaking softly
“And you’re sure you won’t regret your decision? You have all the companions on the face of this earth… and you’ve chosen me of all people.” He huffs, a shred of insecurity rearing its head again
To this, the traveler smiles a little and leans into his palm, closing their eyes
“Yes… I want you. No matter how much of a pain in the ass you can be… I want you…”
Such a tender, genuine feeling makes his vision faintly glow again.. perhaps skip a beat
The traveler gently pats the spot beside them on the bed.. and the wanderer sits, his ornamentally beautiful hat put aside
They spend a tender moment.. holding hands.. feeling each other’s skin.. comparing finger sizes, with the traveler giggling a little. It feels odd seeing the fearsome hat guy act so… gentle and strangely adorable
“Can I kiss you? Or.. you’re not a touchy-“
The traveler’s words are cut off by the feeling of soft lips against their own.. and they quickly repay the favor with a reciprocating, longing, yearning kiss