Actions

Work Header

Misunderstanding? Nah, You Standing Good

Summary:

After a less than successful attempt at pranking Purple, Red makes a shocking discovery. Purple and Lime then flip the script and decide to prank them back!

Notes:

I had such a fun time writing this with my pal, the_angst_alchemist. Hopefully you guys enjoy reading this as much as we enjoyed writing it!

Just as a warning, though, Red's pretty mean in this one.

Work Text:

Maybe Purple had made a mistake choosing Red to have a backup key. If they’d thought for long enough, they probably would’ve realized that. So really, it was Purple’s fault for all this, and Red was just doing what any normal video-making friend would do.

Red slowly creaked the door open. Tiptoed inside. Walked in slow and careful, camcorder held in one hand as their gaze scanned the apartment. It was smaller than most, but that just meant they'd reach their goal sooner. At least it smelled nice. Sort of like cinnamon. Huh, Red hadn't really thought of Purple as a cinnamon person, honestly, but that was cool.

They tiptoed through the kitchen, and then right into the living area, and then just a few feet farther into the bedroom was a twin bedframe, and then on top of that bedframe was a mattress and all the normal sheets and other normal things… And then there was--

Jumping Jehosaphat!

Sure, there was Purple, like they’d expected, but they weren’t alone. Someone-- someTHING?-- was staring them down from the darkness over the bed, the red recording light reflecting off their visor like a monster’s eye staring back at Red.

They almost screamed, but managed not to. While Purple was clearly gone to the world, that other crewmate was awake, just watching them. It made the hairs at the back of their neck stand up.

“Okay! Who are you?” Red asked.

“Shhhh!” the crewmate hissed, pointing at Purple. “They’re sleeping!”

“I can see that and–” A look of sudden epiphany crossed Red’s face. “Hey, you definitely didn’t answer my question. Who are you and why are you sleeping with Purple?”

“I could ask you who you are too-- I live here, and if you don’t quiet down, they’re gonna wake up.”

“Alright, fine,” Red whispered begrudgingly. Then, in an almost disappointed tone, “Has Purple not mentioned me before?”

“Nothin’ ‘bout a crewmate who’d show up while we’re sleeping with a camera, no.”

“Oh, this is… yeah, this is uh. This looks bad,” Red laughed awkwardly. “See, it was a prank and, nevermind. If Purps was awake they'd think this was so funny, but I mean, I probably should go?”

“You’re lucky I’m awake, or you--” the crewmate started, only for Purple to stir. They immediately froze, but it was too late. 

Grumbling, Purple wiped the sleep from their visor. “Lime, why're you bein’ so loud–” They paused upon seeing Red standing there, and then said, far more confused, “Red? What the heck?! Why are you here– is that a camera?”

Red, stumbling with their words, muttered, “Camcorder,” with the most bewildered expression. 

Lime got up and muttered, “Some prank. More like a break-in.”

“Shockingly, no. Silly me, being dumb enough to give this idiot a key.” Purple got to their feet too, already starting to corral Red toward the door. 

“Wait, wait, I have a question. Who’s that, and why are you two sleeping together?”

“I've got some questions of my own. For example, who agreed to only use the key for emergencies? Right, you. And what emergency does this fall under?”

“Hey, I asked my question first!” 

“Are you still a little bean?” Purple shook their head. “Fine! This is Lime, and Lime, this is Red. There, all good?”

“Better,” Lime snarked. “Nice to know the home invader has a name.”

“In my defense, I can't be an invader if I have a key!”

“So not how that works,” Purple insisted.

“Aaaaand I had another ques--”

“You got your question. Purple’s got one too, so answer them first,” Lime interrupted.

“Oh, uh, right. It was definitely an emergency. It was a…” Red spent a long time trying to craft a satisfactory answer. Finally they exclaimed triumphantly, “A fun emergency! A fun-mergency!”

Purple looked utterly befuddled. “This is what I'm losing sleep over? Wow. Awesome. Everyone should take five because I think we've just reached the pinnacle of dumbassery.”

“I will have you know that my fifth-grade teacher thought I might be, like, really smart, so no it didn't… wasn't– I am not a dumbass!”

“Wait.” Lime snapped their fingers. “Red, yeah? Purple, is this Jared?”

“Yeah, this is Jared,” Purple replied with a huff. “With the really uh, circuitous playthroughs. Crashed that flight simulator to death. That Jared.”

“My playthroughs are awesome. Legendary, according to some crewmates.”

“Stick to that. Your pranks suck.”

“It would have been epic if you weren't here to mess it all up. Which reminds me, Purps, you still haven't told me why this guy is here!” Red jabbed their thumb over at Lime.

“They live here? They literally told you that all of two minutes ago.” Purple yawned loudly. “Anyway, are you done wasting time here, because I actually do need to sleep before my shift. So does Lime, and if I don't get back to getting some shut eye we're gonna be way off schedule.”

Red looked almost heartbroken. “You have a schedule?!”

Purple raised a brow. “Are you having a stroke or something?”

“Some of us actually have jobs outside of streaming,” Lime pointed out as they elbowed past Red. “Purple, I’m gonna feed Heracles. You can go back to sleep without me.”

“Uh-huh. Say hi to them for me,” Purple replied. They climbed back into bed, and, just as Red was about to ask yet another question, they said, “Get out. I'm going to sleep and you aren't going to bug me.”

Red figured that was their cue to leave. They scurried out, and while they didn't get any good prank footage, at least they didn't look like a total idiot.

Even worse, they now had something much more pressing to worry about: Who was Lime, and why in the WORLD were they sleeping with Purple?!

The question was like a burning red hot poker at the back of their mind, and the longer they stewed on it the worse it got. On the second day they finally caved and sent Purple a message through their chat.

 

REDisFire1000: Hey so, are you and Limerick dating?

ViolaViolets: Who the eff is Limerick…

ViolaViolets: Their name is Lime. 

ViolaViolets: Also, why are you asking that? >0/

REDisFire1000: I saw you too together. It would be fine either way, I just want to know.

ViolaViolets: Yeah. Definitely.

REDisFire1000: Wow. So cool.

ViolaViolets: Yup, it's just me and my Limey-poo. Who's just so Lime-like. And great.

ViolaViolets: Gotta go.

 

Purple clicked their phone screen off and shouted across the living room, “Lime, I need the hugest favor!”

“Depends,” they shot back, leaning back in the shared computer chair. “What’s the favor, and what’m I gonna get out of this?”

“I need you to pretend to be my special crewmate. To preface, Red literally just asked me if we're dating and I said yes because messing with them would be hilarious. As for what you get, how about some Yenerian food, a whole day where we do whatever you like, and a 15 percent off coupon for pizza?”

“You had me at messing with Red. But I am taking you up on that pizza coupon.”

“Welcome to the team then. So, for the record, I don't expect you to do like… romantic stuff or PDA or whatever. Literally just say we're dating when they ask. And, I dunno, talk about dates or something?”

“I’m gonna use the cheesiest nicknames I can come up with. Other than that… No smoochin’, feel free to flirt with anyone else, and you get to choose when we’re calling it off.”

“Yeah, sounds like a deal.” With a chuckle, Purple said, “I heard there's a meet and greet for tubers on Saturday. We could do it then and drive Red crazy.”

Lime grinned. “Sounds like a plan. Let’s do it.”

They shook on it, and that was that.

 


 

Purple usually avoided crowds, and most meet-and-greets or cons or signings meant big crowds, but this event was a little calmer. Since it was only for creators to meet other like-minded crewmates, and the invite list hadn't extended incredibly far, there were probably only twenty or so folks there. Maybe less. It meant Purple could stand next to Lime, drink their sparkling grape juice punch substitute thing from the punch bowl, look not particularly approachable, and vibe. For the moment, they were on the lookout for Red, who was… unfashionably late and just arriving.

“Bingo. It’s go time,” They whispered to Lime. Then they watched as Red immediately made a beeline for the two of them, as it was almost certain they would.

“...And your outfit looks great tonight, Pur,” Lime said, pretending they’d been in the middle of a compliment instead of staring at the food table and wondering who half the people there were. “Love the hat. Always thought you look good in hats.”

“Heeeey, Purple! And… Lime, I guess.”

“Hell-o, Red! Hope you don’t mind that Limesy here came along?” Purple then put on the most annoyingly saccharine tone they could muster, “I mean, of course they would, because I don’t go anywhere without my Limesy-Wimesy, now do I?”

“That’s so… wow. What a fun nickname you got there,” Red said, directed at Lime. Their visor was twitching. “Are you two always together like this?”

“Yep. Almost attached at the hip.” Lime put their hand on Purple’s shoulder. “My goldfishmate here and I haven’t gone to a thing like this alone ever since we started.”

“That’s right. It’s me and my dust rabbit against the world. We’re so in-sync it's on a whole ‘nother level.”

“...Great. I’m so happy for you,” Red said, in a voice that implied they were as happy as a sprout opening presents to find socks.

“As any good friend would be,” Purple replied, and they had to hide their own smug amusement. “Anyway, tinkerbell, would you like some food? The fruit is uh… it's fruit.”

Lime managed to disguise a snort with a cough. “Sounds great, little grape.”

Purple covered the bottom of their visor to muffle a little laugh. They put a random assortment of fruit on a little saucer, then handed it to Lime. “Okay, here you go, my zesty citrus.”

“You know this is a meet and greet? You guys aren't meeting or greeting anyone,” Red pointed out, trying to hide their irritation and failing miserably.

“You know, we weren’t for a while, so it’s nice of you to come over to… Well, meet and greet us,” Lime said. “But it’d be good to meet some others too. Like, uh… Those guys.” They gestured to two who were hanging out at the other end of the table-- A duo of chefs, based on their outfits. 

Purple took the hint and took Lime's hand so they could walk over together. They could feel Red's presence as they uncertainly lingered a step behind them, and it was very, very satisfying. 

“Hey, me and Schnookums here saw you two and your vibes seem great,” Purple said.

“Oh, you think so? Thanks.” The yellow one of the duo turned to the food. “I'm just happy you guys seem to be enjoying the food. Took us all day to set it up, and some people haven't even touched anything.”

“You made all of this?” Purple looked over at the table. Thinking of the effort it had likely taken already made them tired, and that was without even looking at all of it. Lime pulled out their notebook, scribbling something down.

“Well, most of it. Haven't gotten down how to bake a good loaf of bread yet, so we had to ask Brown's parents for help.” 

“They have a restaurant,” Brown said simply.

“Probably smart we trade our channels, right, sugarplum?” Lime asked, ripping the page out and showing it to Purple. Instead of the channel name, it only said one thing: “we're pranking the mate behind us because they snuck in our house.”

Purple nodded in agreement, took the page, and as they were saying, “You come up with the best ideas, mossy-one,” they passed it to Brown.

Brown looked over the note, their visor crinkled with slight amusement, and then they handed it over to Yellow.

“Really, wow. How interesting a deal y'all got here. We've got a cooking channel ourselves, so we know all about lighting fires under things.” Yellow winked, took a pen out of Brown's apron pocket, scribbled something down, and handed the paper back.

Purple looked it over and had to stop themselves from actually bursting into laughter. The message they wrote back was short and to the point, and reassuringly onboard, just, “Bet. We got you.” And then the kicker, directly beside that, was a drawing of Red with three cartoonist stink lines wafting off of them and then an arrow saying “dummy.” There was also a drawing of four very tiny crewmates surrounded by balloons, confetti… probably, because the drawing was small and not ultra descriptive, and then a circled arrow saying “Us: winning”.

Purple swiftly noticed Red trying to catch a look at the note, then, as a distraction said to Lime, “Hey uh, my beloved studmuffin, can you put this away in your overall pocket? We'll totally need it later.” Which was sure to tick Red off, because, seriously, studmuffin? Who even said that?

“Of course, plumbunny.” Lime took it, putting it in their pocket without looking. “We’ll look up your channel soon. Could be nice to have a couples collab.”

“You can count on it,” Yellow replied. “We gotta meet and greet other folks, but find us after the party. We'll exchange contacts, and you can tell us how great the evening went.”

Yellow and Brown both milled off, and once they were a sufficient distance away for Red not to notice, Yellow raised a thumbs-up.

For a while afterwards, Lime and Purple talked amongst themselves, voices hushed. They weren’t actually talking about anything in particular, but making it seem like they were seemed like an excellent strategy to mess with Red, and it was clearly working. They kept trying to get closer to hear what they were saying, becoming increasingly irritated as the minutes passed.

Purple tapped Lime on the shoulder suddenly, finally having something to actually discuss with them. “Hey, that crewmate over there… are they wearing one of our shirts?” Purple asked, pointing over at a crewmate who was, sure enough, wearing a green shirt with purple grapes on it, and with the name of their channel, “Sour Grapes,” emblazoned beneath that. They were also wearing a brown suit jacket and heeled boots that were nice enough to look utterly goofy with their ten-bean shirt completing the look.

“They--” Lime looked, and barely kept from snorting. “Goodness gracious. That’s an outfit.”

“Says you.” Purple nudged them. It really wasn’t like Lime looked much better, despite having bothered to put on a Hawaiian shirt and a pair of surprisingly not-stained work boots. “C’mon, let’s go talk to them. Always nice to meet a fan, right?”

“Eh…” Lime grimaced. “...You go ahead, Purp. I’ll… uh… I’ll take a minute to recharge.”

“Alright, I'll be back in a sec. Save me some fruit or… or something,” Purple gave Lime's shoulder one more awkward pat and then made their way over to their aforementioned ‘fan’.

Red's visor widened as soon as they noticed Purple walking away, and they went from just scowling impetuously to shouting, “Hey, where's Purps going?” They moved as if to follow, but Lime stopped them in their tracks. So they were stuck just standing there, watching Purple talking to this ‘fan’ of theirs.

They were shaking hands? The fan was super excited, talking with big, expansive hand gestures, and then for some reason they started talking about the entomology of the word ‘grapes'? Red knew by then Purple would get irritated with them and try to make a quick getaway, like they always did with Red, but instead they just laughed? Like it was funny? Mind sufficiently, utterly baffled, Red just stared. 

What the heck was happening here?

Eventually, Red looked over at Lime, and then couldn't help but laugh themself, because wow, Lime was about to have to face a tough truth.

“Lime, buddy, sorry to say this–” okay, they weren't really that sorry, but potato potatoe, “--but I think Purps is flirting with someone else. Agh, that's so rough, huh?”

“Yep, sure is.” Lime looked that way, then shrugged. “Good for ‘em.”

“Wha– what do you mean, good for them?” Red exclaimed. “Aren't you upset?”

“Why’d I be upset? They look pretty happy.” Lime leaned back, thankful to still be close enough to the food table for that. “I ain’t stoppin’ ‘em.”

“Yeah, but–” Red floundered for a response, and then eventually said, “Aren't they your honeybear or whatever the heck? I'm so confused!”

“Yyyyyep.” Lime nodded slowly, acting as if that was a completely normal reaction for someone to have when their partner was flirting with someone else. “They can do what they want. What, you think I’m gonna stop ‘em from flirtin’ with someone? That ain’t my business.”

“How is that not your business?”

“How is it my business? All I care is if they come home, ‘cause I didn’t clean the living room.”

“Hey, I am not the bad guy here!” Red exclaimed. Just because they would care if they were in Lime’s position didn’t make them bad or evil or a worse bean than them. It didn't! Lime was just… crazy. Yeah. Had to be. “So… so stop acting like I am!”

“I ain’t sayin’ you are, Jared. I’m just saying I don’t mind if they flirt with someone else. Seems like you do, though. Thought it was just you bein’ confused but…”

Red immediately looked scandalized. Actually, embarrassed was a better word for it. “I am not jealous, okay? I rescind the accusation of uh… of me being jealous! Because I'm not.”

Lime nodded, looking over at Purple before turning back to Red, who was still sneaking glances. “Yyyyup. Whatever you say. I’m just callin’ it how it is, big dawg.”

“What's there to be jealous of, huh? They're just talking… to someone who isn't me. Enjoying themselves and all…” Red turned their glances into glares at Purple and the other crewmate, seeming to grow ever more irritated the longer the moment passed. Now Purple was joking with them, and they looked like they were enjoying themself in a way they never seemed to with Red.

Lime coughed, forcing Red’s attention away from that duo. “Alright. Y’know what I think? I think you need to find someone else to talk to so you aren’t just stalkin’ Purple the whole time. Right now, this ain’t healthy. For either of you.”

“Well, I–” Red looked doubly embarrassed as they scrambled for an excuse. Eventually they went quiet, and then said awkwardly, “I guess you're right. I don't even know what I was thinking… I just miss them, I guess?”

Lime sighed. “Yeah. Y’know what, I’m gonna… I’m gonna cut this out.” They put a hand to their face. “We ain’t a couple. You acted so freaked out we thought it’d be funny to get you back for wakin’ us up.”

“What?! Are you serious?” Red shouted. “That isn't funny at all! What the heck, dude?! I mean… I guess I should be relieved… I was so shocked to hear Purple was dating you…”

Lime looked to Purple, trying to make sure they hadn’t been bothered, but it was too late. They’d definitely heard Red shouting, as well as the rest of the room. Great. Just… great. “You really should be relieved, but it ain’t because they have taste. It’s because I’m gonna make sure my roommate doesn’t get arrested for punchin’ you.”

As if on cue, Purple stalked over, utterly seething. “Red, I am not joking– I hear you say something else like that and you're going to wish you didn't have such a big, dumb mouth.”

“Can’t see Heracles in prison, roomie,” Lime reminded them softly.

“Gah!” Purple glared at Red, but didn't proceed on their threat. “You're really, really lucky they're right. Think about that next time you want to say something idiotic.”

“C'mon, Purps,” Red said awkwardly. “I was joking… y'know, just like you two have been joking all afternoon, apparently.”

“Y'know what, you should become a comedian, Red, because you're so funny!” Purple snapped, snorting derisively. “Genuinely, never met anyone with such comedic talent. Is that why you tell so many jokes on your channel?”

“I do, actually, because I'm about twelve times funnier than you,” Red replied.

“You are not. Because dad jokes do not count!”

“I cannot believe this! Of course they do!”

“Alright, you two!” Lime exclaimed, finally interrupting. “...Let’s stop making a scene. I’d rather get the eyes off us.”

Purple finally looked around and noticed that several crewmates were staring at them. “Yeah… let's go before this becomes even more awkward.”

Red said, “Hey, you should at least say bye to your new friend first.” They then pointed at one of the many crewmates that had been watching them, though this crewmate was waving excitedly and simply looking vaguely concerned.

Slinging a hand over Red’s shoulder and pretending to be chummy, Purple muttered, “Shut up or I really will kick your butt.”

Red opened their mouth to argue, then slammed it shut, because Purple probably would follow through. They couldn't be too sure, and it wasn't worth the risk at this point. So they just followed along as they, Purple, and Lime went toward the exit. 

Once they were outside, Purple let Red go and put some distance between them, which was not at all awkward or hurtful. It was a known fact that Purple didn't like being close to other crewmates, after all. Except they'd made an exception for Lime, for some reason. That still rankled Red's nerves, because what was so special about Lime to make them do that? Or to make them protect them over Red? Choose them over Red? They'd been friends longer! It just made no sense.

“What makes you so special?” they asked Lime. 

“...Me?” 

“Of course I mean you! Who else would I mean? Purps is Purps, and you’re… You.”

Lime didn’t answer.

“Seriously. It doesn’t make sense. It--”

“Red, I'm gonna need you to–” Before Purple could finish their sentence, someone cleared their throat behind them, and then the two chefs from earlier were walking up beside them.

“Hey, saw y'all were leaving, and we thought we should at least say bye. We ain't interrupting anything, are we?” Yellow asked, brow raised slightly in a way that seemed to say pretty clearly, if one just read between the lines, Need some help?

“No, you're good. Uh, we're good. Timing’s fine.” Purple shook their head, then said, “You guys said we should share info before we left. Totally forgot. Sorry.”

Yellow shrugged, unruffled. “No worries on that. We're just glad to be catching you on your way out.”

Brown fished something out of their pocket and handed it to Lime, who just happened to be closer.

“That’s got our email, phone number and url… all the important stuff,” Yellow pointed out.

“Thanks.” Lime shoved it in their pocket. “Good to meet you guys, at least.”

“Y’all keep it interesting, that's for sure. Probably would have passed out from boredom otherwise, so that's something,” Yellow looked over at Brown, who nodded their agreement. “Yeah, if it weren't for the catering opportunities we wouldn't even go to these things. That might change if y'all keep coming around, though.”

Purple, who'd been relatively quiet, finally said, “I have to ask, but is it really phone number, singular. Not plural? You guys only have one phone number, between you?”

Yellow raised a brow, and then with a laugh, said, “It's Brown's phone. I just borrow it sometimes.” They laughed again, as if the whole topic was absurd. “What are we gonna do with two phones? That's why I like you. Y'all are hilarious.”

“...Ha, ha. Hilarious,” Red said flatly. 

Yellow looked over at them and then without hesitating or missing a beat, said, “What's got them all shook up? Upset like you got tossed in a blender…”

“Mad about the prank, mad about Purple talkin’ to someone else, mad about something else…” Lime sighed. “I’m tryin’ to say it’d be better for both of you if you just go talk to others, maybe find a shrink or something, but--”

“That was a really messed up prank, though! I’m not ridiculous for being upset,” Red said.

“You went in our bedroom without permission while I was asleep!” Purple argued. “How is pretending to date someone worse?”

“Okay, well, for starters, I wasn’t lying to you! For longer than like, ten seconds… just long enough to surprise you! It was totally different… The utter dissolution of trust you put me through, though–”

“Like I could trust you after you abused my trust to use an emergency-only key just to waltz in?!”

“C’mon, Purps. It was just a harmless joke. It was supposed to be something we laughed about together!” Red huffed and said in an almost breathless rush, “It isn’t my fault you suddenly started hating me, okay?!”

“Suddenly started hating-- Are you serious?! You ditched me! I got kicked out because of you!”

“It wasn’t my fault! What was I supposed to do? I mean… I didn’t have any options, Purps! I had to–”

“You just had to abandon me all alone to those fricking wolves?! Y’know what, Red, keep telling yourself that. I won’t feed into that lie anymore.”

Red looked around at the other crewmates, as if begging them to come to their defense. None of them did. “Purps, c’mon. I’ve said I’m sorry–”

“You have not apologized. Not once. Not one single time. You defending your shitty actions is not an apology, so just… leave me alone, alright?”

“Purps–” Red stepped closer, gingerly, but Purple ignored them.

“You deaf?” Yellow shouted. “They said go away.”

Red, shaking now, exclaimed, “Butt out, okay?! You don’t even know them–”

“They don’t need to. You gotta listen to ‘em, or any chance you ever had of being in our lives is done,” Lime said, and they stepped between Red and Purple. Despite being shorter, they still stood as tall as they could, trying to look at least a little intimidating.

That cowed Red, and they backed away some. Not much, but some at least. “Our lives?” Red muttered, sounding ready to pick a fight. “What do you mean our lives? What life could they have with you?” Red pointed an accusing finger at Lime… though what they were accusing them of (being them? Existing?) wasn’t clear.

“Hey, back up! You don’t want to make us hand yer butt to ya!” Yellow bellowed, all talk.

Brown, by comparison, wasn’t all talk. In fact, they didn’t speak at all. Without a word, Brown then stepped up behind Lime, and the dual threat was enough to get Red to back off. Brown was silent, but large and looming, and alongside Lime’s quiet intensity Red seemed certain they couldn't win.

“Sorry, Purps,” Red muttered, and then they scurried off, perhaps too cowardly to even face Purple’s response. That was fine, though. At that point, Purple was just glad to see them leave.

“...You okay?” Lime asked, turning back to Purple. “Sorry to cut the prank when I did…”

Shaking their head, Purple simply said, “Nah, it was for the best. I shouldn’t have suggested it… I should have known they’d act like this…”

“Nope. No blamin’ yourself.” Yellow held up a hand to stop Purple there. “I’m hearing that you two need some comfort food.”

“It’s fine, I was just gonna--” Lime started, but Yellow gave them a look.

“Nope, don’t start thinking you’re wiggling out of this. You’re gonna have some comfort food, on us, and it's gonna be so good this’ll be the furthest thing from your mind.” Looking over at Brown, Yellow said, “I’m thinking pizza, buddy. What about you?”

Brown nodded, then said, “Pizza, with flaky salt.”

Yellow hummed their agreement, and told the group, “Y’all are gonna love the flaky salt. It’s the best part. We sprinkle it on the top, and mwah, it’s perfect.” They pressed their pinched fingers to their mouth and imitated a kissing sound.

“You know what? That sounds great.” Purple relaxed.

“Brown’s parents have the best restaurant in town. It’s a hole in the wall, but the food’s great. Obviously it would be with us working there,” Yellow grinned over at Brown, nudging them in the shoulder. They flushed slightly, but didn’t disagree. Yellow laughed, then continued by saying, “Y’all can tell us what you’re all about while we cook.” They paused, then asked, “You’re channel’s called ‘Sour Grapes’ or something, right?”

“How’d you know?” Purple asked. They hadn’t told anyone at the event, after all, and unless the information was willingly given, everyone was, more or less, anonymous.

“Saw someone with a purple and green shirt that said as much. I didn’t see anyone else other than you two who are purple and green, so seemed like a good guess,” Yellow replied.

“...Good guess,” Lime said simply. “Ain’t much of a fan of that, but… Public figure, all that.”

“It’s part of the curse,” Yellow agreed, though they didn’t sound all that understanding. They were far too nonchalant for that.

“I forgot to ask their name,” Purple said in sudden realization. “I’m such an idiot.”

“You wanna go back and ask, or should I?” Lime asked. “Or one of these guys…?”

“I can go,” Yellow offered. “It’s probably something really boring. I heard them talking about finance or HoAs or something.”

“Thanks, Yellow, but uh… no thanks, actually. Lime and I can go and we’ll meet up with you after, if that’s cool?”

Yellow shrugged. “Whatever floats your boat.”

As they walked back inside together, Purple said, “Sorry about dragging you along. I’m not nervous or anything… just thought they might want to meet you too.”

“...I’ll act like that’s not you saying you’re nervous.”

“What? It’s sooo not, I just–” Before they could try and come up with more excuses, they heard someone calling out to them.

“Oh, hi! You’re back! I assumed you’d left for the day,” The crewmate wearing their shirt exclaimed so happily, and practically skipped over to them. The energy was a bit… much. “And I see you’ve brought a friend.”

“Yeah. This is Lime. And Lime, this is my friend…” Purple trailed off, looking helplessly at the other crewmate, obviously hoping they’d fill in the gap.

“I’m Orange! It’s nice to meet you in person. I’m a big fan!”

“Um, hello.” Lime’s enthusiasm was clearly waning from all the hullabaloo, but it didn’t faze Orange at all.

“Purple was telling me all about your videos. They mentioned you can tell the future? I sometimes do tax preparations, but it isn’t nearly so riveting as that!”

“I, uh… Not really,” they mumbled, glancing at Purple with their own “please help I am not ready for this” face. “It… It’s more like just talking about obvious things…”

“Yeah, they don’t tell the future, they just like, give advice,” Purple amended, though it was already starting to feel like a losing battle. “The joke started with crewmates asking to have their fortunes read but I mean… Lime doesn’t do that.”

“I bet you could if you put your mind to it,” Orange said, so reassuringly. “I started learning how to do magic card tricks last year and it was such a rewarding experience! My coworkers loved it!”

Purple couldn’t help but snicker. They were about to whisper to Lime about how big of a dork they were, when they noticed just how uncomfortably stiff they looked. Figuring it was time to wind down the interaction, Purple turned to Orange and said, “It was great talking to you, but it’s about time we head out. Uh… is there some way I can contact you?”

“Email’s best, since I do not own a smartphone! Faxes or letters are fine as well, though I find email is far more convenient and timely… The smell of fresh letter paper, though… there’s nothing quite like it.” Orange smiled almost dreamily at the thought.

Purple raised a brow, but nodded. “Yeah, sure. Okay… Awesome.” They exchanged emails, because Purple didn’t have a fricking fax machine (because who did anymore?) and then walked out together with Lime. Once they were outside they asked gently, “I know that look, bud. So, food, or home? Either’s o--”

“Home,” they immediately said. “I’m out.”

“You got it,” Purple replied with ease. A moment passed, and then they added, “Thanks for having my back today. I really owe you one. More than just a pizza coupon or whatever.”

“Hey. So long as you’re safe. That’s what’s important.”

“You might find this wild to hear but… I don’t think I’ve ever had a friend like you.” Purple cleared their throat awkwardly.

“...That’s a good thing, right?”

“Yeah, yeah it is. Why wouldn’t it be?” Purple shook their head, then said, “Um, don’t answer that. Let’s just head home.”

“Sounds good.”

Series this work belongs to: