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It was around Christmas time when you decided to travel back home to Virginia. Your job had finally allowed you to take some time off in order to visit your father for the holidays and you couldn’t be more grateful. Spencer had sent you a text, which was surprising enough since he’d rather not have to deal with technology, but had asked in said message if you’d like to meet and catch up on life. You gladly told him you would and a part of your stomach fluttered at the idea of seeing him again. You had met a few years beforehand at the library a few years after he had joined the BAU. Both of you were looking for a book by Carl Jung, you for your thesis and him just for casual light reading. You’d both stumbled across it at the same time, you insisted he take it, ten minutes later he’d brought it right back to you and said he’d finished it, and the rest was history.
You took a sip from your glass of wine as Spencer continued to explain the history behind Christmas and how the Catholic church stole it from the pagans. You just stared at him smiling, half buzzed and half listening not out of malice or that you didn’t want to listen, but because you couldn’t help but think about the glint in his eye any time you brought something up that he could give facts to, or the smile that starts to grow on his face the more he keeps talking. You sat facing him on the couch, legs curled up to your chest as he sat with his ankle on his knee with his body faced towards you.
“Y/N?” You perked your head up at hearing your name and blinked. You’d gotten so lost in thought that you hadn’t realized he’d asked you a question. “I’m sorry, what did you ask?”
“I can stop talking if you want.” You watched his shoulders sink a little as he said it and that spark dim. You set your near empty wine glass down and shook your head immediately trying to apologize.
“No no no no. I’m sorry, I just got lost in thought for a moment. Must be the wine.” You straightened out your sweater and pulled the sleeves over your hands, tucking the ends into your hand as you wrapped your arms around your legs. “What was the question?”
“What’s your favorite holiday?” He readjusted himself to sit up more on the couch and you watched the interest come back towards his eyes. You thought about his question for a moment, biting the inside of your lip as you did so. “Hmmm… Probably Halloween. You know I love everything on the darker side anyways.”
“Oh I remember, especially going over to your apartment for the first time and seeing all of the bugs everywhere.”
“Hey! My collection of framed butterflies and moths are not just dried bugs thank you.” You took a small couch pillow and tossed it at him, and he smiled as he tried to dodge it but failed. You laughed when it hit him gently on the side of the head. “You apologize to my Polyphemus moth and my Queen Alexandria Birdwing. They say hello by the way”
“Well tell them I said hello back.” You laughed and picked your glass of wine and began to take a sip, but then everything went black. You jumped at the sudden darkness and spilled some of the wine on your sweater. “Oh shit. Spencer? You good?”
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Are you?” You felt around and sat the glass back on the coffee table. Your eyes started to adjust and you could faintly make out the shapes in the room.
“Yeah. I guess the snow storm blew the power out.” There was shifting from the couch and you could tell Spencer had gotten up from the couch. You then heard a small thud and Spencer hissed in pain. You winced for him.
“Here, I should have some candles somewhere.”
“Let me help.” You stood up from the couch and kept your arms out in front of you to steady yourself and feel around for any furniture that may trip you up. After a few minutes of the both of you stumbling around, bumping into each other, and letting out giggles when you did, candles had finally been set up and were now burning. You both went around with a stick candle lighting several column candles and tea candles . When the living room had a nice warm orange glow you both sat back down on the couch. “What were we talking about?”
“Your affinity for dead insects.” You rolled your eyes and a small smile began spreading across Spencer’s face. He picked up a glass from the side table, took a sip and set it back down.
“My collection of insects. You’re gonna end up with coal in your stocking if you keep being mean.” He let out a shocked laugh and stared at you, and you couldn’t help but giggle.
“Are you really threatening me like I’m a child? Wow, I didn’t expect you to stoop so low Y/N.”
“Me? Stoop low? Oh never.”
“Oh, I almost forgot. Wait here.” Spencer pushed himself off of the couch and walked down the hallway into his bedroom. You could hear items being moved around, a soft shuffling as he moved around the room. After a moment it stopped and you began to hear footsteps approaching and Spencer appeared at the end of the hallway. In his hand was a present wrapped in silver paper with glitter snowflakes and one of the adhesive bows you get from the store. Your mouth fell open slightly at the thoughtful gesture, and you looked up to him.
“Spencer… you didn’t have to.”
“I know, but I wanted to.” He walked over and handed it to you, and you gently took it from him. You looked down at the present and how perfectly wrapped it was. The corners were seamless around the edge, taped perfectly together. He must have tried a few times on this for it to be perfect. You flipped the present over and peeled back the tape from the sides, careful not to rip the wrapping that he spent time on. When you finished unwrapping it, there was a copy of Psychology of the Unconscious by Carl Jung. Specifically the copy from the library that caused the two of you to meet. You looked up at him with a softness in your eyes that was reserved only for lovers.
He let out a small smile and shrugged his shoulders. He stuck his hands in the pockets of his dress pants. “The library had a cart of books they were giving away due to their condition and it just so happened to be there. I figured since it’s been almost five years…” He trailed off at the end and just looked at you sheepishly. It was the most thoughtful thing that anyone had done for you in quite some time. You pushed yourself up from the couch, albeit a little drunkenly, and wrapped your arms around him. He stood there in shock for a moment, and you remembered his avoidance of touch. You immediately let go and backed up, apologizing.
“I’m so sorry, I forgot for just a second. I’m so sorry Spencer.” You had hugged once in the past, and it was when you were taking your flight to your new home in Houston. It was brief but you were touched by the gesture. He looked down at you in that moment and just smiled, holding out his arms. A bright smile spread across your face and you wrapped your arms around his chest, partially hiding your face in his chest. You felt his arms wrap around you and hold you close, then his head resting on top of yours. You both stayed like that for quite a few moments before his arms began to loosen, and you slowly let go. He however did not entirely unwrap his arms. You looked up at him, your brows furrowed in a question.
“It’s kind of late and the power is out, and this storm is only going to get worse. Do you… want to stay over? You can take my bed and I’ll sleep on the couch.” He was right, it was pretty late and the storm was getting worse as you spoke. You blinked in surprise a few times at the question and began to stutter out a response, but stopped for a moment, took a breath, and then exhaled slowly.
“You don’t have to give up your bed Spencer, I’m perfectly fine sleeping on the couch.” A chill went down your spine at the temperature that was slowly dropping on the inside of the apartment. The candles provided a decent amount of heat and with blankets you would be perfectly warm for the night, but there was a thought in the back of your head where you imagined the two of you asleep in bed beside each other. The thought was pushed from your mind as you began to feel your face blush. You could blame it on the wine if he asked.
“I insist Y/N. You’re now my guest and I’m going to take care of you. Just let me know when you get tired and I can get more blankets.” You nodded and sat back down on the couch, covering yourself with the blanket that was draped across the back. He sat back down across from you and you sipped from your glass quickly, hoping that the blush you still felt really was from the wine now.
You made light conversation that turned into laughs as you told stories from your childhood. You had explained how you had almost broken your toe while playing tag in the backyard at your friends house. It was her 12th birthday when it happened, and there was an exposed PVC pipe that had a dip underneath it, and your foot caught it at just the right angle. He winced as you talked, his mouth frowning in pain for you. You laughed as he did, and saw him roll his neck. He shook off the feeling of the child and sat back normal, but pulled his legs closer to his body.
“Here, I have a ton of blanket to spare. Take some.” You grabbed the bottom of the blanket and tossed it towards him. He shook his head, lightly tossing it back. “I promise I’m okay, it was just a chill.”
You gave him a look that said you knew better and tossed some of the blanket back at him. You scooted closer so he could have more of the blanket and you could have sworn you saw a dash of red come to the tops of his cheek. He nodded in thanks but almost avoided eye contact as he did so, as if it would give something away. You brushed the thought off. You yawned and turned your head to look at the clock hung on the wall. You squinted as you looked at the time, unable to believe that it was already almost 2 am.
“Wow, we’ve been up for… a while honestly. I could have sworn I just got here.” You yawned as your body began to realize how tired you were. Your clothes were comfy enough to sleep in since it was just a simple sweater and a comfortable pair of fleece lined pants. You actually chose the combo because it looked nice, but also because you felt like you were wearing pajamas. Spencer pushed himself off of the couch, beginning to walk towards his bedroom.
“I’ll take that as you’re ready to go to bed. Let me grab some more blankets for you.” He disappeared once again down the hallway, and you finished the last of your wine in your glass. The buzz had turned into tipsy, and you slowly started to lose yourself in the thought of the two of you curled up in bed together, waiting out the snow storm by tracing hands across skin with soft kisses in-between soft conversations of your pasts, present, and future. You realized in that moment that you had left his present in the car, and stood quickly. Your head swam for a second as you regained your balance and you rushed to the door, grabbing your keys off of the counter and shrugging on your coat. You slipped out quietly and the cold hit you instantly, sobering you up. You let out a groan and put your hood over your head and quickly ran down the stairs to your car, grabbed the present from your car, then back up the stairs carefully so you didn’t slip. When you closed the door you could hear Spencer walking back down. You hid the present behind your back as he walked into the living room with a pillow and a folded quilt. He had changed into a brown hoodie with a pair of plaid red and black flannel pants. He looked over to you to see you in your coat and shoes. A confused look came across his face.
“Ah, sorry. I had to run to my car real quick. Left something.” He nodded like he understood. You made your way towards his bedroom, giving him a little wave. “Goodnight Spencer. See you in the morning.”
“Goodnight Y/N. Sleep well.” You turned around and walked down the hall into his room. It wasn’t a big room, but it wasn’t small either. In one corner of the room right beside the window was an old wooden desk that had multiple books scattered across it and sitting on the shelves. There was different memorabilia from Doctor Who and Star Trek on shelves along the wall, and more books scattered around the room in random piles. You made your way over to the bed and pulled back the sheets, crawling underneath and pulling them to your chin. There was the light smell of his cologne mixed with a fresh laundry detergent and you nearly swooned. His cologne smelled of cedarwood mixed with vanilla with a slight hint of pepper behind it, and mixed with the detergent it almost made you dizzy at how nice it smelled.
Your head turned more into the pillow as you tried to slow your breathing, but the chill of the air just couldn’t seem to go away under the covers. You tried for what felt like hours to get to sleep, but really it had only been twenty minutes when you looked at the wall clock. You huffed and contemplated going into the living room and asking Spencer to stay in the bed with you, but you knew that idea was ridiculous. You knew well that you wouldn’t be able to get to sleep because your heart would be racing, but you also knew nothing would happen, that you two were just friends.
“Screw it, it’s cold.” You threw the covers off of you and tip-toed down the hallway not knowing if Spencer was asleep or not. As you peeked around the corner of the hallway you saw Spencer laying on his back, hands crossed over his chest staring up at the ceiling. He startled as you began speaking and looked over.
“Um… I know that it’s a bit of an odd request, and obviously it’s perfectly fine if you don’t want to but… Would you want to share the bed? I know it has to be cold in here too, and I don’t want you freezing. We can set up a pillow wall too.” You pulled your sleeves over your hands and tucked your hands under your arms while you tried to hold in some warmth. The longer the power stayed out the colder it got in the apartment, so now a steady chill had spread throughout. Spencer propped himself up on his elbows still looking at you.
“Are you sure? I’m still fine with sleeping out here.”
“I don’t mind at all. I’ll um.. I’ll go set up the wall.” You quickly turned down the hallway, surprised at his agreement. You tried not to think too deeply into it, it was a perfectly normal request and nothing was going to happen, nothing at all. You began putting pillows down the middle of the bed, making sure there was plenty of room between you two. You heard him walk in behind you and you turned around, looking up at him. His hair was messier than it had been before and now curls were peeking out from behind his head. You held back a smile and walked to the other side of the bed. Spencer placed his pillow down on the other side of the bed, and you both crawled under the covers at the same time. When they were pulled back, you both turned with your backs facing away from each other in silence.
There was a solid ten minutes where neither of you said anything. It was absolutely warmer under the covers though and you were grateful for that, but the only thing you could hear was your heart hammering in your chest as you tried to sleep. You knew this was entirely platonic, that this was only because it was cold and there was a power outage and you were both waiting for it to come back on, but something at the back of your mind said that this wasn’t just platonic. You jolted as Spencer spoke.
“Y/N?” You rolled over to face him, adjusting your head on the pillow. You caught a whiff of his cologne again and took a breath in before exhaling slowly.
“Yeah?” He rolled over in turn and you could barely make out his face in the dark. His curls started to fall in front of high eyes, and you fought back the slight urge to push them away from his face. From what you could make out, he was processing a thought that he wasn’t sure if he should say just yet, or if he should just wait. Ultimately he decided to just say it.
“Have you thought about moving back to Virginia? I mean- not anytime soon, but just… ever?” You thought about it for a moment. Moving back home wouldn’t be so bad, and it’s not like you had much waiting for you back in Houston besides your cat and your job, but that could be easily changed. You would also be closer with your dad again, and now that he was getting older it would be better for you to be around if something were to happen.
“I mean… I haven’t thought about it until now, but I could definitely consider the idea. Dad’s not up there in age, but he is getting older. It wouldn't be so bad to move home… I miss it here sometimes.” You let a soft smile onto your face thinking about it. You and your cat in an apartment between Spencer’s and your dad’s places, somewhere close to the hospital so you can work. The cost of living wasn’t too bad there, it was something you could afford. Yeah… maybe moving home wouldn’t be so bad. Spencer had a soft smile on his face at your response.
“It’d uh… it’d be nice to have you back around.” You tucked those words into a folder in your mind that you would think too deeply on later. You shifted around and propped yourself up on your elbow still facing him. “Well what about you? Have you thought about leaving Virginia? Leaving the BAU?”
Spencer rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling in silence for a few minutes. He sighed, turning to look back at you. “I can’t. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the work is hard to say the least, but if I don’t do it, who will? I can’t leave my team behind either. They’re my family.”
Your heart softened at his response. All night he had talked about his team; about Morgan and how he teased him, JJ and his love for her, Henry, and Will, Emily and how he saw her as a sister, Hotch and his grumpy softness, Rossi and how he behaved like a grandfather some time, and Penelope who was the light of all of their days, but you could tell there a hint of sorrow behind his eyes when he would think of the cases. You imagined it couldn’t be easy dealing with death all day every day, and even though you worked in the hospital you at least had the chance to help people and bring people back from death.
“I get it. You stay where you love. Houston’s nice but it’s never felt like home. Here feels like home.” Spencer’s smile grew as he looked at you. “Oh like here? Right now? This is home?” Your mouth dropped and you grabbed one of the pillows from the wall and hit him with it. He laughed and grabbed the other one and hit you, and before either of you knew it you were having a pillow fight. There was laughter between the hits, and you moved over to keep hitting him. He sat up and kept hitting you, you dropped your own pillow and tried to take his, tugging it back and forth. He pulled hard and you rolled on top of him, a pillow between your chest and his. You yelped as it happened and looked down at him. As you stared at him breathless you took in what you could see. Soft eyes that had eye bags from sleepless nights, eyes that you could lose yourself in and were. He stared up at you too, and you realized he was holding his breath.
You felt a hand slip onto your lower back and you moved into the touch. One of your hands made its way into his hair, the other supported you, and then his hand was holding your face in his palm. You leaned down and met his lips with yours. It was soft, sweet, and gentle like you thought it would be, but never imagined it would happen like this. Your hand curled into his hair, and the hand on your back moved to help you move fully on top of him. The kiss stayed soft, but your other hand found its way to his neck. When you eventually broke, you rested your forehead on his and let out a small laugh. He did the same, the hand on your face moving to the base of your neck.
“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for that to happen.” He stated as you breathed in softly. You leaned back and looked down at him confused. “How long you’ve been waiting? Hold on, how long have you been waiting?” You looked at him confused. Up until about a minute ago you assumed it was just you who had felt this way, but obviously not.
“4 years, 210 days, and 15 hours.” Your mouth dropped at the exact amount of time. You thought you were the only one keeping count of how long you had suspected you had feelings. Now you weren’t able to keep track of how many days and hours had specifically passed, but you were able to say it was about three weeks after you had met.
“You kept time?”
“Of course I did, how could I not?” You sat silent for a moment and stared down at him, playing with the end of his curls. He smiled and gently pulled you back down into a kiss that was a bit deeper this time. You couldn’t help but hum as it happened, your hand lifting him up as you kissed. His hand moved onto your waist and you pulled back from the kiss, a soft whine of protest leaving his lips.
“I think we have some things to discuss before we keep kissing like we’re long lost lovers, Dr. Reid.” You started to pull your hand away from his hair, but he gently placed his hand on yours and stared up at you with a piercing stare.
“Who’s to say that we aren’t?”
The next morning you awoke with warmth pressed to your back and arms around your back. Your face was pressed into Spencer’s neck as you regained your senses and you couldn’t force yourself to move at all. You could have sworn last night was just a dream, but the proof that it actually happened was right in front of you.
You laid in bed for a few minutes looking up at Spencer, fingers playing with the ends of his curls like you had done earlier in the night. He stirred underneath you, his arms tightening around you as his eyes began to open. He adjusted his head and looked down at you, smiling.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning Y/N.” You moved up and gave him a soft kiss. He readjusted himself and you felt one hand move up your back and another to your waist. You pulled back and giggled, resting your head back on his chest. The skin to skin contact was nice. It was something you hadn’t felt in a while. A chill hit your back from the overhead fan spinning above you. The power had turned back on around seven that morning, and now it was about nine. You saw his shirt at the end of the bed, so you reached down and grabbed it, putting it on. It was a little bit tighter than on him, but still looser fitting. You pushed yourself into a sitting up position and smiled down at him.
“Do you remember when I said that I had to go out to my car because I forgot something?” Spencer sat up with a curious look on his face.
“Of course I do, I have an eidetic memory.” You grabbed the pillow and tapped him with it.
“You know what I mean. Anyways, I was going to stick it under the tree, but-” You leaned over and grabbed the present from off the top of a stack of books and handed it to him. Spencer looked at you with surprise on his face and took it gently, holding it in his lap.
“You got me something?”
“Of course I did. It’s Christmas, everyone deserves something for Christmas.”
“According to you I’m supposed to get coal in my stocking.” You poked him in the leg and he laughed.
“Open it. I think you’ll be surprised.” He gently began popping the tape on the green paper with golden stars and hand tied bow, the same way you did with his gift. He pulled out the book and laughed, looking down at the cover. It was a first edition copy of Psychology of the Unconscious by Carl Jung from 1911 in German. Spencer looked up at you with a spark in his eyes and leaned over to hug you. You held him close for a moment before he pulled back, looking at the few bookshelves he had in his room. He settled for sitting it on his nightstand at the moment, as there was virtually no room on any of his bookshelves. He would make a space for it later.
“I don’t really know what to say besides thank you Y/N.” You pulled him in for a deep kiss that lasted quite a few seconds before you pulled away, resting your forehead on his once again.
“Merry Christmas Spencer.”
“Merry Christmas Y/N.”