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The gateway opened exactly where it always did, just this side of the doorway to the balcony.
“You were supposed to be back yesterday,” Logain said without raising his eyes from the document he was reading.
“There were… complications,” came the reply in a tired, hollow voice.
Alarmed by the uncharacteristic tone, Logain finally looked up at the newcomer. Mazrim Taim stood where he had stepped through the gateway, looking pale for his Saldaean colouring, dark shadows under his eyes. “Complications,” Logain repeated, not a question; he knew Taim would either tell him or he would read about it in the report tomorrow. Questions were never any good at this point.
“Complications.” Taim ran a hand through his hair; Logain thought he saw the hand shake.
“You should get some rest,” Logain said, firmly but gently, trying not to let his concern for the other man show. Taim didn’t handle concern well, not when he was like this.
“Rest,” Taim repeated blandly. The haunted look in his eyes spoke a language clearer than what he was verbally capable of as things were. Logain wished he had the report on his desk already; a week’s mission behind the enemy lines, trying to recover captured channellers, was draining business both physically and mentally and this time there had been complications and Logain really, really wanted to know what had made them delay their return by over a day. But the wrong question now would only make the other man shut down completely.
Logain stood up and closed the distance between them. Gently, he pulled Taim into an embrace, heart sinking as the Saldaean all but collapsed against his chest, the slender body shuddering violently. Light, this was bad. “Mazrim-”
“Don’t,” Taim interrupted him. His arms came up around Logain, slender fingers gripping the fabric of his coat and for a moment he held on to Logain like a drowning man. Then he reached up with one hand, dug his fingers into Logain’s hair and pulled the taller man’s head down and kissed him hard.
Taken by surprise by the desperate intensity if not by the kiss itself, Logain kissed him back with equal ferocity. On some level he needed the physical intimacy almost as much as Taim did; after long nights of worrying whether the other man was alright or whether this time the team would return without Taim, bringing news of another tragic casualty in the endless war… He needed to feel the life in him, to convince himself that they were both still alive against all odds. For now.
Later they lay on Logain’s bed - not meant for two but wide enough to accommodate them with Taim sprawled half on top of Logain - in silence. These moments of stillness were something Logain savoured; a moment of peace before the reality of war imposed itself upon them again. A breath of life in a world that seemed to be dying around them. He tightened the grip of his arms around Taim, and for a wonder the other man didn’t protest.
“We lost the Travelling point that last day,” Taim said after a while, and the moment of peace was over. “That’s why we couldn’t get back on schedule. We had to make a fighting retreat, shake the Seanchan off our tail for long enough to learn another location.” A wry note of humour entered his voice, dulled by exhaustion. “I swear I’ve never missed Genhald quite so much as I did around this time yesterday.”
“You do realise I’m going to tell him you said that, don’t you?” Logain remarked. A soft snort was the only response he got to that, not that he had really expected any. It was a well-known fact that Taim and Androl Genhald didn’t really see eye to eye. Logain was trying to decide whether to ask how the rest of the operation had gone, when Taim spoke again.
“I’ll write the report tomorrow.” His tone more than indicated that the conversation was over.
“All right,” Logain replied. There was nothing else he could say, no words of comfort Taim would accept. All he could do was wait for the report to find out the casualties - he knew with a sinking certainty that there had been casualties - and let the families know, if they had had families. It killed him a little inside that there was nothing he could do for Taim, nothing but hold him through nights like this. Light send that was enough.