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The other Eridians were larger than Rocky. Taller. Bulkier. Stronger. They lacked Adrian’s turquoise marks, but their carapaces were similar browns to Rocky’s with scattered cracks and scratch marks that may or may not have held a meaning. Something about them made them more intimating than Rocky. Scary, almost. Dangerous.
They swarmed around Grace like bees waiting for a chance sting, a pride of lionesses ready to pounce, or a flock of vultures circling their meal. Their feet drummed against the floor. Buh-bom. Buh-bom. Buh-bom. Buh-bom. A constant rhythm that put Grace on edge.
“I come in peace.” His voice cracked slightly, despite Grace’s attempt to remain composed. “I am not a threat. Grace is not a threat. Grace harmless. Grace friend.”
Still, they swarmed. Grace lost count of how many there truly were. Too many legs. Too many forms. Too many rocks that merged into one force.
He wondered where Rocky was, why Rocky was letting them circle him like this, intimidate him; scare him? Had Rocky left him there on purpose? Allowed this? Given him up?
Grace remembered all the depictions of aliens back on Earth, how Humans always wanted to study them, perform tests on them; dissect them… Rocky had never hinted that the Eridians were hostile, but Grace hadn’t hinted it about Humans, either. What if Rocky was an anomaly? What if isolation and grief had softened him to be something unlike the rest of his species? What if Eridian’s couldn’t be trusted?
What if Rocky couldn’t be trusted? What if Rocky had used him? What if Rocky had lied? Was this the plan all along? To take him home? To give him up? To let them experiment on him? To let them treat him like a thing? To treat him like he was nothing to him?
“Please. Grace is safe. Grace is good. Grace help Eridians. Please.” Grace begged. He stumbled backwards, body trembling as much as his voice, but the group of Eridians only swarmed closer. “No. Please. Grace good. Please.”
He remembered Stratt, how she had become his friend, but had still betrayed him in the end. He remembered how she set him up, how he ran, how he was pinned down, and drugged, and forced to die. If an Eridian tried to pin him down, they would crush his bones in seconds, with enough pressure, they would easily kill him, just like Stratt and the rest of Earth had planned to do by sending him on a near-impossible suicide mission through space.
“Please. No.” He sounded like he was back on Earth, pleading for his life, pleading for someone, anyone, to hear him, to claim that he was worth fighting for; that his life mattered. “Please.” He begged, but Grace had no family, no parents, no siblings, no partner, nor children of his own, not even a dog, so there was no one to answer him; no one that cared. Carl and Stratt hadn’t been his friends, they had just used him for his mind, used him for the greater good, used him out of fear of dying themselves, and now Rocky, Rocky who had given him up to his own people, Rocky who just saw him as an alien freak, not an equal, but as an experiment, a souvenir of his troubles, a gift to his people, had betrayed him too, had left him to be experimented on and dissected and to die—
Grace woke up to a horrifying sound. His hands shot up to his ears in an attempt to shield them from the high-pitched screeching, but they did little to protect his eardrums from the bombardment of twisted noise. “Rocky!” He yelled back, a sudden headache banging against his skull. “Stop!”
Rocky, who had been watching Grace sleep inside his overhead tunnel, stopped making the awful piercing sound, but continued to wave his limbs around and thump them down on the tunnel. “Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!” He exclaimed. “Didn’t mean to hurt Grace! Just very very very worried about Grace! Grace make noises while sleep! Grace sound in pain! Rocky worried worried worried about Grace.”
Grace’s face softened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you, Rocky.” He sat up, removed his hands from his ears, and rubbed his eyes. “Humans aren’t paralysed during sleep. We can move and make noises. It doesn’t mean we are in pain.”
“No. No. No.” Rocky disagreed with his explanation. “Grace in pain. Rocky saw. Grace make noises while sleep before but Grace kept saying ‘please, please, please’ and sounding sad, scared; hurt. Grace promised no lie to Rocky.”
Grace frowned. “I’m not lying to you, Rocky. I promise I’m not in pain.” He assured him, softly. “I had another nightmare, a, uh, bad dream, scary dream, but I’m okay now. I wasn’t in pain. I’m sorry I scared you.”
“Rocky doesn’t want apology. Rocky not angry at Grace. Rocky worried about Grace.” Rocky replied, firmly. “What happened in Grace’s dream, question?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Grace shook his head. He didn’t want Rocky to feel guilty, or think that he didn’t trust him because of what happened in his nightmare. “I’m okay now.”
“No.” Rocky waved two arms at him. “Grace tell Rocky. Grace tell Rocky now. Rocky fix.”
Grace sighed, running a hand through his hair; he hoped all Eridians weren’t as bossy and stubborn as Rocky was, or he’d never survive on Erid. “I guess I’m a bit worried about arriving on Erid…” He chuckled, nervously.
“Rocky Grace have around 3 Earth Years, before arriving on Erid. Grace have lots of time to worry about Erid.”
“Y-yeah, that’s true…” Grace trailed off.
“Grace has nothing to worry about Erid. Rocky Grace have enough Taumoeba to save Erid. Rocky Grace have enough fuel to get to Erid. Rocky Grace have enough food to get to Erid. Eridians celebrate saviour Rocky and saviour Grace. Erid scientists make more food for Grace. Rocky stay with Grace. Rocky make Grace happy. Rocky watch Grace sleep and keep Grace safe. Lots of Eridians on Erid to watch Rocky Grace sleep and keep Rocky Grace safe.” Rocky rambled. “Nothing for Grace to worry about.”
Grace sighed. “Thanks Rock. I know we’ll make it safely. That’s not what I was worried about.”
“Then what is Grace worried about, question? Grace tell Rocky. Rocky fix.”
Grace sighed, deeper. “Look Rocky, it’s complicated, you wont understand. It’s a Human thing. It’s my problem. Not yours.”
“Rocky can’t try to fix if Rocky doesn’t know. Rocky might understand. Grace doesn’t know that Rocky won’t understand. Rocky understands plenty of Human things.”
“Fine.” Grace sighed. It was difficult arguing with the only thing in existence that actually talks to you; that’s actually alive and knows that you’re also alive. Rocky was too stubborn for his own good. “Let’s say something went wrong with the Hail Mary, and you came back for me, instead. Let’s say I took you back to Earth with me, and we used the Beatles to take the Taumoeba back to Erid, instead. Humans… Humans would not care that you saved the stars. Humans would not see how smart or brave you are. Humans would see an alien. Humans would see something to study. Humans would keep you as a pet, they would not treat you as a living thing, you would be expendable, they would hurt you, and they wouldn’t care if they killed you because it would all be for science.”
Rocky was silent for a moment. “Humans bad.” He finally said, voice lower and more detached than usual.
“Sometimes.” Grace gulped. “Sometimes Humans bad. Some Humans very bad.” He agreed.
“Bad, bad, bad.” If Rocky had a head, he would’ve been nodding it very hard. “Grace think Eridians bad, too, question?”
Grace scratched the back of his head. “W-well…”
“Grace think Rocky would let Eridians put Grace in cage in lab, question? Grace think Rocky would let Erid scientists hurt Grace, question? Rocky would save Grace. Would Grace not save Rocky, question?”
“No!” Grace gasped. “N-no! No! Of course, Grace save Rocky!”
“But Grace say Humans would kill Rock—“
“I-I know! I know! I’m sorry!” Grace interrupted, pulling at his hair. “I didn’t explain very well, did I?” He sighed, pressing his hands over his eyes, and violently rubbed his face. “Look, I—“ He gulped. “I’ve been… thinking about a lot of things lately. Most of my memories are back now, so everything’s pieced together, and I’ve been… reliving a lot of… painful flashbacks, over and over again, about how I was sent to space in the first place. I think that’s why I’m so nervous about going to Erid and how I’ll be treated. I just felt so helpless when they drugged me that I’m so scared it will happen again.”
“…Rocky need new word.”
Grace blinked. “You need a new word?” He looked up at him. “Which one?”
“What made Grace helpless, question?” Rocky asked, slowly. “What happened to Grace that scared Grace, question?”
“Oh.” Grace blinked again. “‘You mean ‘drugged’? That they ‘drugged’ me?”
“Yes. What is ‘drugged’, question?”
Grace gulped. He lowered his head, chewing on his bottom lip, as he played with his sleeves. “A drug is a chemical substance that changes how a Human’s body and mind works. There are lots of different drugs on Earth, legal and illegal — legal means it is permitted to use by law, and illegal means that the drug is not permitted and shouldn’t be taken by all Humans. Some drugs speed up a Human’s heart rate, but others can slow down a Human’s brain activity. When I was drugged, I was given a sedative and some sort of memory-suppressing drug that gave me amnesia. A, uh, sedative is type of drug that makes someone very calm and, uh, sleepy and in this case, made me unconscious. I was in a deep unconsciousness for many years called a coma. The coma meant that I was not panicking and using up essential recourses, whilst traveling through space, but it also meant that I couldn’t wake up if something was going on.”
“No one watched.” Rocky added, his voice small and painfully quiet. “No one watch Grace sleep for long long long time. Grace’s crewmates die in sleep. Grace could have died in sleep. No one watched. Bad, bad, bad.”
“Yes.” Grace gulped, his eyes starting to feel wet and threatening to leak with the tears that Rocky hated. “Very bad.”
“Then why did Grace let Humans put Grace to sleep, question? Why did Grace let Humans drug Grace and put Grace in coma, question?”
Grace squeezed shut his eyes. “Grace didn’t.” He brought his knees to his chest, hugging them, and dug his nails into his thighs. “Grace was forced.” He pushed the horrible words out of his mouth.
“Grace was forced, question?”
“Yeah.” Grace choked out. He sniffled, barely holding in the tears, and hugged his knees, tighter. “On Earth, a ‘Hail Mary’ is a desperate, last-second attempt of doing something that has a very low chance of success. That’s why they called this ship the ‘Hail Mary’. No one knew if we would save our sun, but we had to try. I was never supposed to go, but the two scientists for the mission died, so they wanted to send me. I knew it was a suicide mission, and I didn’t want to die, so I said no, but they— they didn’t let me have a choice. They took the choice away from me.” He buried his head beneath his knees to try and hide the tears from Rocky. “They forced me.” Grace choked out. “I ran, but they pinned me down, and forced a needle into my neck. They drugged me, so I couldn’t stop them putting me on the ‘Hail Mary’, and sending me to space. They sent me to die. They sent me to die when they knew I didn’t want to. I was a coward and they forced me.”
Rocky made a high pitched whining sound that the computer couldn’t translate.
Grace violently rubbed his eyes. Imagine being scared of dying when the entire world could have died because of him? He was pathetic. “You’re brave, Rocky. You chose to go to the Tau Ceti system to save your star. I didn’t. I’m a coward. I had to be put to sleep to do it, and now I’m sat here crying and petrified that it could happen again.”
“Stop!” Rocky yelled. “Stop! Stop! No! No! Grace not coward! Grace brave! Grace very brave! Grace pretended to make peace with dying, even though Grace was very very very sad and very very very scared. Grace was scared all the time, but Grace still saved stars. That makes Grace very very very brave. Rocky is very very very angry and very very very sad that Humans made Grace sleep alone and forced Grace on mission when Humans knew Grace was very very very scared. Rocky is angry, angry, angry at Humans and angry, angry, angry that Grace’s family did not stop Humans from taking Grace.”
A choked sob left Grace’s lips. His family. Rocky thought he had a family. Rocky didn’t understand why his family hadn’t stopped them. His face twisted into something ugly, and he allowed the tears to flow more openly and quicker than before.
“Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Rocky make Grace leak! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!”
“I’m sorry.” Grace croaked, still avoiding Rocky’s gaze, as he rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry I’m crying, pal.” His entire body trembled as the tears continued to fall down his face. “I’ll— I’ll be okay. Just— Just give me a minute.”
“Grace sad.” Rocky did his version of a pout without a face. “Sad, sad, sad. Is it because Grace’s family did not help Grace, question?”
“Grace is—“ Grace choked out. “Grace is crying because he has no family, Rocky.”
“No family, question?”
“N-no family!” Grace sobbed louder. “My parents are dead, Rocky, they’ve been gone for a long, long time, and I have no siblings, no partner, no pets — no one! There was no one to say goodbye to when I left Earth! No one that didn’t want me to go! No one that is missing me! No one!”
Rocky exploded. Loud, clashing chords bounced around the walls of the Hail Mary as Rocky shuddered and waved his limbs.
Grace bit down on his bottom lip, almost drawing blood, and pressed his hands against his ears. Somehow, Rocky was even louder than he had been when he’d woken him up, and now his piercing shrieks were vibrating through his skull in the most excruciating way. He pressed his head between his legs, and rocked side by side, his hands still clawing at his ears in an attempt to save them.
Minutes passed before Rocky finally calmed down. “Rocky is… sorry sorry sorry for… for…” He trailed off, his voice small and quiet again.
“…For the outburst?” Grace offered with a grimace as he sat up properly again.
“Yes. Rocky is very very very sorry sorry sorry for big big big outburst.”
“I forgive you, Rocky.” Grace replied, even though his ears were still ringing, and he’d probably have a headache for the rest of the day.
“Grace has family.” He told him, quietly. “Grace have Rocky.”
Grace’s widened. “You— You mean it?” He sniffled as the waterworks started again.
“Grace and Rocky clustermates, statement. Grace and Rocky best friends forever, statement. Grace and Rocky family, statement.” He replied, firmly.
“Thank you, Rocky.” Grace smiled through his tears. “No one’s— I don’t think anyone’s told me that before. Thank you.”
“Grace accept Rocky as clustermate, question?”
“Y-yeah, yeah, of course.” Grace blinked away his tears. A while back, before Rocky knew Grace was going to die completing Project Hail Mary, he’d told him that clusters were groups of Eridians that were very close and slept together; kind of like a pack. Grace already watched Rocky sleep and vice versa, so of course, he’d consider Rocky as his ‘clustermate’.
“Rocky will tell all Eridians that Grace is Rocky’s clustermate!”
Grace chuckled. “Alright, pal. You do that.”
“Adrian will be clustermates with Grace, too! Adrian great scientist and very very smart like Grace! Adrian and Grace will be great friends, and Grace will be very very very happy with Adrian and Rocky, statement!”
“Okay, Rocky. I believe you.” He chuckled. “I’m sure I’ll be great friends with Adrian, too.”
“Grace make happy noises!” Rocky cheered. “Grace happy now, question?”
“Grace happy now, statement.” Grace smiled.
“Happy! Happy! Happy!” Rocky spun in delight.
Grace laughed. He was so lucky.