Chapter Text
Prologue - Kim Soleum 1stPOV
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‘Hello Agents,
I want to sincerely apologize for everything that happened so far.
I’m sorry
I still want to go home. I can’t give up without trying to return.
But I feel heavy-hearted, because it seems my feelings ended up wasting the time of the Disaster Manager Bureau’s Agents. Once again, I’m sorry. For not living up to expectation, for not sincerely submitting to the disciplinary action, and resigning as if running away.
Thank you for everything
I hope you stay healthy and happy.’ - kse
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I watched Agent Choi through my guilt and sorrow. Hidden my true self behind my mask, I can only see him in the eyes when I put on my glasses. No offense, I’m afraid. His voice was gentle, his touch was warm and comforting but his gaze was sharp and predatory.
He’s watching me, all the time. He always looked into my eyes whenever we spoke, knowing that I lied through my stutters and hesitation, curious as to why I always looked flustered and noticed that I would flinch at contact, like it left me with lingering burns. So uncomfortable.
I wish to hide behind Jaekwan. The one who knew me first, his back became my source of comfort. I wish there were just the two of us here, without him, who always called me “Grapes-ie” and made my stomach churned in fear.
Stop calling me.
Stop looking at me
Stop caring for me.
I didn’t like him, he was too loud, too perceptive, too bright and expressive, too kind and at the same time, cold and calculating. I wish to leave him, but Jaekwan was here. I want to stay, even though I have to suffer the constant gaze, the sudden embrace, the way he called my agent name, thinking it like a cute syllabi.
However, as I sat in my cheap motel, looking at the wish ticket in my palm, my heart broke into pieces.
I’m so close to going home.
“Will I regret this?” I asked myself, “Now that I’m out of that prison, I feel stupid for running away.”
I went to see Director Ho and received the wish ticket for me, Go Yeongeun, and Jang Heoun. Then, I met up with the Sergeant, had a talk with him and said a bittersweet goodbye. Delivering the package via locker, also done, and receiving a C Grade Regeneration Potions in return.
Goodbye messages were sent, scheduled to be received in the morning. However, I sent a special message to the Section Chief, to get my belongings in this room after I left.
The dokkaebi flame watched the green potion in my left palm. I smiled softly at it before placing it near the wish ticket. I will drink it later, just right before I come home. For now I’ll just enjoy its company, along with my good friend.
I decided to lie comfortably in bed. For a while, I stared at the ceiling, with Braun in my pocket, close to the tattoo. We chatted, and I appreciated it that we simply chatted about ‘what if?’ and ‘plot twists’ about my wish, familiar words for people who often discussed screenwriting in a Host Show.
Then I saw the sunrise from the thin vitrase curtains, and my anxiety was back. At this time, everyone may receive the farewell message, yet I’m still here, in this small motel room.
[Friend?] Braun asked, what’s with this anti-climatic ending? Is it a part of my ‘plot twist’ plan? Did I plan a grander story behind this decision? I chuckled at his deduction and mentally said, ‘I’m just a coward. I couldn’t use the wish ticket. Not now.’
Suddenly my heart became lighter, knowing that I actually have time to just think about going home, now I know a way. “Ah, where should I go then? I got cash and Director Ho said I still got points-”
“Grapes-ie!”
The door was unlocked. I made it ajar and told the Section Chief to just enter it when the man arrived here. However, someone just dramatically kicked the door open and burst into the room unannounced. Somehow, they managed to track me here. I glanced at Agent Choi and Agent Bronze who found me lying in bed, in a suit I prepared to return back home, like somebody who was ready to end their life.
In a flash, they jumped at me.
“Don’t die, oh goodness! Don’t you ever….!” The usually cheeky and confident Agent Choi was trembling hard, while Ryu Jaekwan hugged us tightly. It was such a ridiculous sight, three grown civic servants huddled in bed after breaking in, letting the door hanging open.
"Please, never write that kind of letter again.” Said Jaekwan.
“Don’t die, Grapes-ie… I don’t accept your resignation!”
Kim Soleum, aka Agent Grapes, stared at the ceiling with an empty gaze. Why am I such a coward? I should just drink the ticket, or maybe leave this city immediately.
[Friend, this agent cried so close to me, I didn't want him to touch me. This is outrageous!]
‘Braun, can you see I’m also stuck here?’ I complained back.
Someone knocked at the opened door. We turned away, and my eyes widened to see Section Chief Lee Jaheon. His presence didn’t alert the men around me but while Jaekwan released me, Choi still hugged me tightly, clinging to my waist as I slowly got up.
“Section Chief, you’re here.” I greeted him politely, before I told the agents who surrounded me, “hey can you give us time to talk?”
Choi seemed reluctant but Jaekwan yanked him away from me and dragged him out of the motel room. They hovered outside, openly listening and watching us.
“I’m here as promised.” Lee Jaheon entered with a brief whisper. He looked around my new room, somehow his gaze landed at the wish ticket and the regenerating potions on the nightstand, still unused. “So you decided to stay?”
“Yes.” I said with a small smile, “For now.”
“I see.” He took the wish ticket and placed it back in the box. “In that case, I will keep this safe for you, until the time you need to use it.” Then he glanced at my right arm, where the dokkaebi flame resided, before he took the other potion and passed it to me.
“Kim Soleum-sshi.” he said, “please do me a favor. Whenever you are in danger, let me help.”
Warmth spread in my chest, in the way he rephrased his words this time. Rather than offer, it sounded like a gentle plea. For an alien with a lizard head, who was mostly detached from emotion, his last sentence felt quite personal. So I nodded at him and reached for the green potion-
“What’s that?” Choi asked in suspicion. I was about to explain but it seemed Jaekwan was familiar with the potion too. It was the one I used for him in Looky Mart. With that, Jaekwan stopped Choi from interfering.
“It’s alright.” I gave them a reassuring smile, before I gulped the potion. The little dokkaebi flame fled from my arm and landed on my shoulder, as we all watched how the limb grew out of the stump. Soon, my right arm was back. I clenched and unclenched my knuckles, just as Choi barged in and held my elbow, lightly tracing the veins all the way down to my wrist with his sharp gaze, before he stared at me, wide-eyed.
“Your arm is back.”
“Yes, Sunbae.” I chuckled. He looked even happier than me for the return of my missing limb. For a moment, my gaze fell at his scars, and I felt a poignant sense of grief as I gently traced his neck. He didn’t reject me, only leaned into the touch. I wondered, can I… get him regenerating potion too? To heal his scars… to erase my own guilt and sorrow?
Will he accept it?
From his point of view, Lee Jaheon watched us, his gaze fixed on my palm stroking Agent Choi’s neck scars and in return, the man was holding my wrist. Just silently observing our close interaction, before he said,
“Then, I’ll take my leave.” Since I’m not leaving this world yet, he only took the box containing my wish ticket, “Good luck, Kim Soleum-sshi.”
With that, Lee Jaheon walked out the room and once again, I was tackled by Agent Choi.
“Grapes-ie!”
“Sunbae, stop hugging me, I’m not going anywhere!”
Jaekwan looked at my right arm, his expression conflicted, before he pulled out something from his jacket pocket. “Here, your letter. I hope you take back everything written on it and get ready to be reinstated.”
That startled me, “I’m still an Agent?”
Jaekwan sighed, "The accusation on you is cleared and you gained opportunity back to become an Agent, however, you disappeared in the middle of the process so you’ll be bound to desk jobs for the next six months.”
Huh, isn’t that… a bit merciful, and quite tempting too.
[How boring] Braun scoffed. I ignored Braun for now, this is the opportunity I want, I need this peaceful time.
“And we also owe you an apology.” Jaekwan added.
“Grapes-ie~ I’m so sorry~” The clingy agent buried his face on my shoulder. There was this vulnerability and frustration leaking from his usual fake cheekiness. This was his true feelings, just when he sulked in the car ride, when he severed my contract with Director Ho in the Jisan Village and when he panicked after reading my resignation letter.
Can I forgive the two of them?
I pursed my lips. My heart already knew the answer, since both of them grew on me, partially becoming my reason to stay. However, my ego prevented me from saying anything. Because I suffered, I wanted them to suffer for a while too. It was just fair, right?
However, why did we have to start a new beginning by hurting each other? It would never end our suffering.
If one thing I learned about being a salaryman, was the ability to learn when to let go and move on. No need to dwell on our past disputes. So I cleared my throat and said, “I’m hungry. Can we talk more about this over breakfast?”
Even as we got up and stepped out of the motel room, I realized that deep in my heart, I already forgave them.
Especially to my dear Agent Choi. Maybe I should see him with a new perspective, not through the veil of a wiki character but seeing him as someone who is alive and breathing. Just like me. Before, I was anxious with things I couldn’t define about him and I’m desperate for him to understand me or at least listen.
However, I never tried to actually try to understand him either. I focused on one goal in life and everything else became extras in the Kim Soleum-centric movie. That was very selfish of me.
“What do you want to eat?” Jaekwan asked me softly.
“Let’s have gukbap.” I walked in between them.
“Alright, let this sunbae treat both of you, ya!”
Yep, I think this is the right decision.
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Prologue-end