Work Text:
I’m leaving you, I found someone better
When Yuuri read those words at first he was numb. He didn’t think, he didn't feel, he didn't breathe. He couldn't breathe.
Yuuri was at the Russian practice skating ring. His left hand clutched the barrier, his right hand held his phone tightly. He had been practicing his new free skate routine and taken a break so he could check his phone for any notifications.
His heart leaped and a light smile painted his face when he saw that Victor had texted him. Victor hadn't practiced with him today because he had a doctors appointment on the other side of St. Petersburg. So yeah, Yuuri had been excited when he saw that he had a text from his fiancé.
Of course, that excitement vanished the second he saw the actual message.
I'm leaving you, I found someone better.
He couldn't breathe. Everything stood still. He didn't think. He couldn’t think. He didn't want to think. Yuuri did not want to think about the meaning of those words. He didn't want to think about the future. He wanted to go back, uncheck his phone and live in blissful oblivion.
Yuuri clutched the phone tighter, his knuckles turning white. His heartbeat increased and he trembled.
Fuck.
This couldn't be happening, not here not now. He wouldn't cry, he would not cry.
Victor. Why would you say that?
Yuuri re-read the text. It came so suddenly. This morning they had still been writing and everything seemed normal. And now three hours later this happened. Yuuri didn't understand and he was afraid, oh god, he was afraid to find out why. What was the reason behind this?
He could feel tears starting to gather in his eyes and shit, he couldn’t cry here. He could absolutely not cry here. In front of everyone.
With trembling hands, he shut off his phone and put it into his sweat pants. He stood there for a couple of seconds, trying to breathe and compose himself. Because. He. Would. Not. Cry.
Yuuri skated towards the exit of the rink, hoping that no one would stop him on the way and ask where he was going. Yuuri knew that theoretically time wasn't slowing down and that he wasn't moving in slow motion but that's how he felt. He felt so numb and empty and slow.
“Yuuri, are you already done for today?” Oh god no, not now. Yuuri turned around and saw Mila standing a couple of meters away.
“Ahm… yes,” Yuuri swallowed. His throat felt dry, like cotton had been stuffed down his throat making him suffocating and gasping for air, “I don't feel so well today. I better head home.” He smiled not wanting Mila to ask if he was alright because he wasn't sure he could lie.
“Well if that's the case you should go home and rest,” Mila smiled back not pressing the matter but Yuuri wasn't sure if she noticed something was wrong or not, “You should call Victor so he can take care of you! That's the least a fiancé can do, right?”
Stop
“Yeah.” Yuuri whispered. His heart hurt. He hadn’t known pain like this was even possible. How could one person affect you so much? How could one person make you whole and happy and then the next moment leave you crying and broken on the ground? How?
Mila waved him goodbye and Yuuri finally, finally, was able to leave. He undid his laces, got out of his skates and put on sneakers. It was a routine so familiar that it calmed him down.
When he finally stood outside, the cold January air making him shiver it really hit him. He wasn't practicing his free skate at the rink like planned but instead was going home because Victor was leaving. He found someone else.
A sob escaped his mouth and fuck he didn't want to cry. His hands quickly came up to his mouth trying to hold everything in. Yuuri closed his eyes pushing away the tears.
Don't think.
Don't think about the message, don't think about Victor, don't think about the future. Just don't.
Yuuri started to run. Running calmed him down. Running gave him something to think about. Something other than what just happened. So he runs. He runs down the streets that he usually walks down with Victor's hand intertwined in his. He runs by the shops, cafes and restaurants that he visits with Victor. He runs over the bridge where Victor and Yurio sometimes wait for him. He runs through the park where he and Victor take Makkachin.
He starts to cry. He doesn't want Victor to have someone else. He doesn't want Victor to leave.
Yuuri struggles with the key. His hands are cold and shaking and he can't get the door to open for some reason. He forces himself to calm down and breath. Yuuri eventually manages to open the door to his apartment. Victors and his apartment.
Makkachin isn't there to greet him since he is out with Victor. The apartment feels so empty and quiet and Yuuri hates it. He can't bear the idea of this being permanently. Since this was originally Victor's apartment he would move out. And someone else would move in.
Shut up.
Yuuri clenches his fists and throws his bag with his skates to the side not caring where they land and slowly walks towards their bedroom. Everything is still the same like he left it this morning. No clothes have been packed (so far) and the bed is still unmade. Victor had gotten up later then Yuuri and he never makes the bed so it really wasn't a surprise to see it unmade. Usually he would smile and clean it up but right now it hurt.
It hurt seeing it because it showed how domestic and comfortable they had become. They had slept there together the whole night. Victor had kissed him there and told him he loved him. Yuuri had cuddled Victor and laughed with him. How was that only a couple of hours ago? How could everything change this fast?
Yuuri crawled into the bed and pressed his face into the pillows. They smelled like Victor.
He missed Victor so much it hurt. And thinking about the fact that he might never be able to cuddle Victor again made everything 100x times worse. He might never kiss Victor again. He might never laugh with him again. He might never tell him “I love you” again. And it hurt. It hurt so much.
Would Victor miss him? Would he miss Yuuri? Would he miss Yuuri's skating or his voice? Would Victor cry about him or would he be over it soon?
I'm leaving you, I found someone better
Since when? Since when did Victor know this person? Would Victor just replace Yuuri with this person? Would he even miss Yuuri now that he has someone else?
Victor please don't leave me
He was pathetic. Begging someone to stay that clearly didn't love him or want him. No wonder Victor wants to leave. He sighed. He felt so conflicted. On the one hand he wanted to cry and beg Victor to stay and on the other hand he was angry. So fucking angry. Both emotions wrestled with each other wanting to be dominant till the heartbroken one won.
Yuuri had never cried this hard and soul wrenching before. His sobs are loud and messy, his tears sticky and don't seem to stop. His heart hurts and his body feels dead. While crying he always asks himself the same questions, What did the message mean? Who did he find? Would he be replaced? Could Yuuri in any way stop this? There were no answers.
It seems like hours pass till he finally stops. Really really stops. Sometimes he would stop for a while and then cry again but this time he knows he is done because he can't cry anymore. He left everything out and he feels so empty. So empty, lonely and tired. All energy is drained out of him and Yuuri just lays on the bed, his head on Victor's cushion.
Slowly the shadows on the wall get longer and the light dimmer. And he knows it's around 15:00 because it gets dark around that time in the winter. Yuuri also knows that Victor should be home soon. He isn't ready.
Even though he knew that Victor would be home sooner or later it still takes him by surprise when he hears the click of the lock. Victor quietly says something to Makkachin. His voice brings comfort to Yuuri. Ironic really. Makkachin lets out a wuff and Yuuri can hear him coming toward Yuuri. The dog probably smelled him.
“Makkachin!” Victor shouts after Makkachin surprised that the dog doesn't want some food first like usually. Yuuri could feel the bed dip when Makkachin jumped on top. The dog came up to Yuuri and licked his face. Usually Yuuri would laugh and push the dog away but right now he didn't have the energy to do anything. What made the situation even worse where Victors nearing footsteps.
Don't, please don't let this happen
“Yuuri!” Victor said in surprise seeing Yuuri in their bed. Usually Yuuri would be at the rink till 17, “What are you doing here? Are you alright?”
It hurt hearing Victor's voice so full of concern. It hurt in so many ways and it confused Yuuri. Why would Victor talk like that after today? After what he wrote? Of course he wasn't okay. That idiot.
“Yuuri?” Victor called his name again. And god did it hurt. The bed dipped again this time under Victors weight. There was a hand in his hair, stroking the black hair. It was so comforting, soft and loving he wanted to cry.
“Stop.” Yuuri hissed under his breath and he hoped his voice carried only anger and Victor wasn't able to hear out his hurt. The hand in his hair stopped and retreated.
Victor gasped under Yuuri’s harsh tone.
“What's wrong?” He sounded so confused and hurt. Makkachin who sensed that the mood was tipping led out a whimper. Yuuri pressed his face deeper into the pillow and his hand clenched around the sheets. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to talk about the message or what they would do. It would end. And Yuuri couldn't handle it.
“Yuuri?” An impatient undertone crept into his voice, “Talk to me.”
He couldn't speak. An invisible hand was on his throat making it impossible for Yuuri to get out the words that he wanted.
“Why?” Yuuri croaked out. He slowly pushed himself up and sat on his knees, his head hanging down. He couldn't look at Victor. He wouldn't be able to look into those eyes or see his beautiful hair without wanting to touch it.
“Why what?” Victor asked confused.
Yuuri led out a heartless laugh. How dare Victor play him like that?
“Yuuri?”
Yuuri shook his head. As an answer he took out his phone and threw it against Victor's chest. He could hear Victor's sharp intake of breath when he read the message.
“Oh god Yuuri! I'm sorry.” Suddenly strong arms hugged him and Yuuri felt the heat of Victor's body against him. He wanted to push away but it felt good. It felt good to be hold by someone strong and safe when you feel your world crumbling. So, even though Victor was the reason behind his misery, Yuuri fell against Victor's chest and buried his nose into the crook of his neck.
“I don't understand.” Yuuri sobbed out and clutched Victors shirt, “I don't understand.”
“It was a joke!” Victor stammered out obviously not knowing what to say in order to comfort Yuuri. Yuuri stilled and then slowly pushed Victor away.
“A what?” Yuuri's voice was cold and full of disbelief. He didn't know what to think but if Victor thought it would be funny to play with his feelings like that…. A new kind of hurt ran through his body making him more angry than sad.
Victor was hectically waving his hands around, “No! No that's not how I meant it!” Victor desperately clutched Yuuri's arm, “Yuuri, please, listen to me. I-” Victor wasn't able to find the right words to convey his message without being scared of screwing it up in some way or the other.
“Wait a second.” Victor let go of Yuuri’s arm and ran out of the bedroom into the hallway where Yuuri could hear thinks (keys?) being dropped onto the floor. It didn't take longer then 30 seconds till Victors was back in the room next to Yuuri on the bed.
Yuuri could hear a phone being unlocked and then Victor hold the phone before his eyes. Yuuri took Victors phone out of his hands, scared of what he will read. Yuuri's hand were slightly shaking and before he read he adjusted his glasses.
It was his and Victors chat just from Victor's perspective. At first Yuuri didn't understand what Victor was trying to tell him because there was the same message that had haunted Yuuri the whole day when he looked up and…
Oh.
Victor was nervously shifting next to him, “I’m sorry Yuuri. I really didn't mean for this to happen. I was just walking down the street and I saw the cafe and I thought it would be funny! And I- Yuuri?”
Yuuri was laughing. He was laughing out of relief and happiness because Victor wasn't leaving and he didn't find anyone better.
“You're ridiculous!” Yuuri gasped out between his laughter. God he felt so, so light. This weight that had been choking and pulling him down the whole day was finally gone. Because what happened was that Victor had made a selfie with a fucking ice cream cone (which actually looked really good) and send it to Yuuri with the caption ‘I’m leaving you, I found someone better’ but the picture was never sent and Yuuri only received the caption.
“You're replacing me with ice cream?” Yuuri asked lightly and for the first time since this all started was able to look into Victor's eyes. Victor looked so torn between relief and guilt it made Yuuri's heart ache.
Victor smiled, “It was really big, cheap and the best ice cream I ever had in my life.”
“And how could I compete to that?” Yuuri asked playfully.
Victor quickly pulled him into a hug and kissed his temple, “Yuuri I love you so much and it hurts me seeing you sad. I'm sorry for the pain I have caused you today.” Victor's voice was so sincere and raw that Yuuri's heart clenched.
“You're forgiven.” Yuuri whispered into Victor's shoulder. They stayed like that for a couple moments holding each other and breathing each other in.
Yuuri pulled away after a while, “You realize that you have to take me to that cafe now.”
“I would love to do that.” Victor answered and surged forward to kiss Yuuri on the mouth.
xxx
Yuuri had to admit that the ice cream was really good.
It became a ritual for them to eat there whenever they go past the cafe.
Victor kisses Yuuri everytime before and after.