How Did It End?

Katsuki has grown into a fine hero. His adult life is in some ways quite ordinary and his job is perfectly manageable: he’s still an order-obsessed freak.
Days blur together, one is the exact carbon copy of the other, until a late-night encounter at a supermarket unlocks memories that he desperately tried to mold and forget.
Unmistakable emerald-green eyes meet his gaze in the noodle aisle, and he feels himself sinking and gasping for air.
Or
Years go by and the whole 1-A class is successful, Japan can count on all of these heroes with the sole exception of its former shining star: Izuku Midoriya. After high school graduation, he moved to the United States and settled there, becoming the youngest pro-hero in the NYC district.
His suit was partially funded by the US government, but not only. He’s aware that his class contributed to the donation, however he never found out that his former best friend and lover was the one that pulled all the strings together.

Notes:

This One-Shot idea was born during one of my sleepless nights in August listening to TTPD by Taylor Swift.

First loves WILL change you and anchor you to the same spot in the seabed, maybe forever, if you don’t let yourself swim across the waves in which it comes.

As you will read soon, this work is partially canon as I kept some dynamics from the MHA universe, but I also let my jolly mind space around and twist some stories to my liking, like Izuku being a pro-hero in New York and Bakugo becoming the third best hero of Japan.

Katsuki obviously turned into one of those people that can work in autopilot while raw feelings bug their nerves and alter their heartbeats. The message I tried to convey is that you are inevitably and utterly changed when you let yourself love. When you let someone else love you.

This harsh reality was violently repulsed by the blond haired hero during his adult years. It just hurt too much.

But…is it always too late to open the Pandora’s box that roams in your mind? And going back to your younger self could, perhaps, give you the closure you desperately seek?

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Katsuki Bakugo did not become Japan’s number one hero. His younger self would have thrown hands at him if he knew. He became the third best, which in some ways was still better than being second.

Third place meant you were above the thousands after you and medias and journalists still went over their heads for anything you did. A polite smile, a charity night, photoshoots for magazine covers. He knew the drill.

Being second place, despite the proximity to the top, seemed worse.

Half-cold half-hot took that spot and Bakugo quietly observed from afar all the pressure that government and tabloids put on Todoroki’s shoulders.

Every success of his was measured and compared to what the number one hero was doing.

Every little break from work he could rightfully take was received as ‘lazy hero behavior’ by the public. Why? The number one never rested.

Every person that Todoroki saved became utterly meaningless if Lemillion was rescuing platoons of people at the same time. It looked like an unfortunate history repeating itself, like All Might and Endeavor’s relationship.

Except Icy Hot had grown into an adult that could not care less about expectations. More than half of his life was built in judgment, punishments, learning stoic reactions just to let others think he was stronger.

One guy, however, changed him forever: Izuku Midoriya.

Thanks to him, Shouto learned to accept and combine his powers without ever holding back. After years of training, he could safely say that being a hero was a dream turned into reality out of his own free will and not just a way to avenge himself from his father’s wishes.

Petty articles could fantasize about the toxicity of competition, but there was not even the slightest bad blood running between Todoroki and Mirio.

They were two exceptional men uplifting each other and caring about the safety of the country.

Mirio’s smile did not obscure Todoroki’s self confidence, he was not like his father. Not anymore. He could never walk that path again, he was not intoxicated by power and titles. Being a hero was a mission, not a prison.

Bakugo deeply admired how Todoroki did not let nasty comments consume his mental health, because he was sure that if the places were swapped he would go mad.

Sure, he was definitely much calmer compared to his adolescent self, but he did not completely lose his occasional tendency of bursting something out of anger when situations became overwhelming.

A small coke could be incinerated with a snap of his fingers, all done and executed in isolated alleys, of course. He was keen to not hurt anything that could move and breathe. And reflecting on it, he was also getting rid of garbage while letting out his anger. What a thoughtful hero, right?

The mere thought of being second and having to respond to dumb comments 24/7 led him to think that he would have blasted some journalist’s microphone in the span of weeks, inevitably lowering his rank.

As one true hero must understand, there’s a subtle amount of “no’s” you can give before your sponsors start to turn on you.

Public images had to be shiny and polished. How? By interacting with other heroes on charity nights, public events, government conferences.

One night in particular, two years ago, all the pro-heroes in the top 20 were invited to a non-profit charity event held by the Heroes’ Vehicles Engineering Department.

Did Shouto and Bakugo know anything about planes, cars, wheels and weird gadgets? Absolutely not, still were they seated next to each other at a large table.

A perfect pearly white table-cloth, and the finest silver cutlery adjusted on the softest cotton napkins. That luxury was something worlds afar from many of the heroes’ families backgrounds.

The mathematical symbols embroidered at the seams of the napkins were definitely over the top.

Except, back in highschool Katsuki loved calculus and he spent a bunch of minutes reminiscing about all of the theorems he learned, from Cauchy to de l’Hôpital. Explaining to Kirishima how to solve derivatives and integrals was a fond and stressing memory.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the two glasses of bubbling champagne put right in front of him.

He accepted the generous offer and started drinking, all until the white and red haired man broke their sacred silence.

“I wonder if Izuku misses us as much as we are missing him”

Todoroki’s eyes narrowed, his slight smile widening. He was definitely tipsy.

He said what he said like he bottled up this thought for years, pushed by an internal pressure rather than his usual lucidity.

Katsuki could not believe it. Why did he have to mention Izuku, right now?

Todoroki figured that Katsuki and Izuku drifted apart, so he never talked about their friend in his presence, out of kindness and respect. It was a mutual mental agreement that worked wonders.

Until that moment, where Bakugo almost choked on his champagne.

He coughed a little, his pupils dilating by seconds.

“Oh…”- Todoroki stared at him intensely, feeling a rush of guilt creeping up- “I’m sorry man, yeah…I know how it is, you know, between you two. I’m sorry, I am. I will never bring it up again after tonight, but I feel like I’m missing him and-”

Katsuki was familiar with anger and frustration, hell, even his power was fierce and explosive. He could perfectly describe how all of his anger usually accumulated in the fingertips and in the sweat drops sticking along his spine.

That night was different. He felt a void gnawing at him. No spark or rush of anger crossed his eyes, neither his hands.

After the war class 1-A faced, he lost 70% of his hearing on his left ear.

He just hoped to drown in muffled sounds and forget the annoying clarity with which Todoroki’s words had imprinted themselves on his mind.

It did not happen. He did not know what to say.

”-because we were a good trio. Training together, bugging you with our jokes. It was nice. He was great.”

Katsuki was analyzing his glass now, how the bubbles were going up and down, swirling and racing to the top.

”Didn’t think you were such a sentimental freak, Shouto-“

Katsuki’s tone was defiant and contemplative.

”-well, you and him both were, in your weird ways. But the past is the past, so please, let it go”

The thinnest glossy veil of water haunted his corneas, betraying his attitude.

Todoroki’s eyebrows raised in concern and Katsuki could not stand it. Not him, nor this situation, nor what and who he just mentioned.

Bakugo turned his head and walked away. He noticed that the building had just three floors and a huge labyrinthine garden.

Wandering around, he found the perfect spot to sit. A green wooden bench and a light pole were keeping company to the real size-model of an old Japanese war-plane, the Nakajima Kikka.

He sat, feeling the fresh breeze of the night grazing at his jaw and the languid light from the pole revealing the details of the wings of the plane.

‘Because we were a good trio’

He was already so sick of replaying this bit from what Todo said before.

They were, they truly were a good trio.

They were friends.

26 years-old Katsuki sort of learned how to get past a first love. But a best friend? That was the worst part.

The impossible and maddening detail about Izuku was that he was his one and only childhood best friend, and before the world changed them, that was his only certainty.

That freckled guy, the one who had known him all of his life. The only person he wished could understand him completely, wished to be unraveled in secrecy and tenderness.

Losing him romantically meant also losing their friendship. Years of trust and adventures slipped away in the growing distance that was separating them.

Looking back, them and Todoroki learned so much from each other. It was a shame that it lasted like the blink of an eye.

Above the massive core of the plane, a timid looking moon was shining dimly.

Katsuki wondered if NYC’ sun was feeling timid too. It was just 9 am for them, whereas Tokyo was fully embracing the night.

Would Izuku already be up and about, leaping from one red-brick wall to another, just like in that Spider Man comic they used to read together?

Izuku used to dream big. He chased every single one of his dreams.

Letting air in and out was now turning into a painful chore. Katsuki did not feel so weak in the gut in years and it looked like his lungs were failing him too.

Needles were abruptly poking his chest, his stomach twisting and compressing like it was being washed in bleach.

There was just something so wrong about not knowing which other dreams Izuku had, which new habits he picked up on.

He kicked a small rock with his foot to distract himself from this stinging ache.

He was sure that the loser made friends. Lots of them. He would probably be waved at by little kids while crossing the road, receiving polite nods and smiles from their parents.

He would have found and chosen his favorite local coffee shop among the four-thousands that New York had to offer, just to loyally pursue his unhealthy caffeine addiction while talking to a familiar stuff.

He would also find the time, on weekends, to meet up with that Rody guy and eat crappy food together; Bakugo could vividly picture his obnoxious american laughter echoing off the windows of Izuku’s living room. And Izuku admiring him silently.

Did the two of them grow closer? Closer than what is taunting to imagine?

Again, there was something so terribly wrong in Katsuki for thinking about all of this.

After 8 years apart, he was sure he buried what he believed in.

Chasing after one another their whole lives, him and Izuku.

Showing Japan they were the strongest duo. And Izuku was the kindest among all the heroes, too.

It was a childhood dream, after all. An oath written in sand, smudged by the course of salty water.

He had to let it go.

However, phantoms of a different life followed him home. And he felt like the same adolescent that refused to digest letting the world crush him.

He opened his bedroom door without a care in the world, still wearing his fancy tuxedo.

After loosening the tie, he chugged some water along with a melatonin pill, hoping it could knock him out as soon as possible and silence all the hurting.

It did knock him out, but his feverish sleep made it worse, adding fuel to the fire.

Katsuki’s dreams were mainly work related, sometimes he fell asleep while adjusting his work schedule and his stakhanovite attitude intruded into his subconscious, adding details and obligations to his imaginary calendar.

He stopped dreaming about Izuku for a good while now, and he never confessed to a soul that he did.

The moon had other plans for him, ringing a bell he did not wish to hear.

In his ultimately restless night, his days looked different.

He shared an apartment and the view from his room was unusually bright. Peaking in, the Empire State Building was towering among other skyscrapers.

A burnt-coffee smell invaded his nostrils and before realizing the source, he heard a deep thud, like something dropped from a kitchen counter.

Twisting the doorknob of the bedroom, he walked into a big open-space area that connected the living room with the kitchen.

There, Izuku was crouched on the parquet floor, picking up the former parts of a yellow mug.

Bakugo did not move, as if part of his brain already knew he did not want to rush what was happening.

He craved Izuku’s presence and his twisted subconscious was aware, granting him a few more minutes of pure admiration.

Looking around, the apartment felt cozy and lived in.

The big blue couch and its fluffly cushions revealed a history of movie nights, afternoon naps and cuddles.

Some succulent plants and pothos were meticulously organized in wooden shelters, functioning as book holders too.

The walls were scattered with posters of their favorite movies and comics, they truly could not escape their nerdy interests even after that many years.

Above their record player, a small All Might figure was pointing towards their pile of vinyls.

The kitchen was huge and luminous, and he noticed how spices and sauces were displayed in the specific order he liked.

Soy sauce on the left, then teriyaki, goma dare, olive oil and tonkatsu. A spinning wheel next to them held little bottles of pepper, salt, curry, chives and sesame.

Along with the burnt coffee aroma, he detected a sweet smell lingering from the stove, a vanilla-scented like.

When the green curls moved upwards, Katsuki stopped looking around, almost embarrassed.

”Oh Kacchan, did I wake you up? I’m so sorry!”

Izuku threw the cup shards in the bin and got closer to him. Too close, perhaps.

”I know it’s your day off, that’s why I attempted to be as silent as possible and trust me I really tried, but I was following this fluffy pancakes recipe and as I was pouring the flour in the mixture a good chunk spilled from the bowl and-“

Izuku was lost in his thoughts’ spiral, gradually mumbling to himself what he should have done and what he failed at.

It happened so often that no one could keep count of the times he did it. Katsuki liked his pensive nature. Liked everything about him, actually.

”-you cleaned the counter yesterday so I thought that I had just ruined your spotless work, so I took the closest rug to clean it but I accidentally moved the bowl with my elbow and it hit my coffee mug, a few drops then spilled on my shirt but the real tragedy is how the mug tragically jumped despite my good reflexes and…as you have just seen….it just died horrifically-“

Izuku did not take a single breath while talking, he was explaining the incident with the same speed rappers use for their songs.

”-I’m sorry. Like, so so sorry.”

”I wanted to surprise you with this amazing breakfast, it’s a bum I woke you up, but-“

Katsuki did not stutter a word, he got closer to Izuku and removed some flour’s residue from his cheek.

”Oh don’t look at me like that… I killed our favorite yellow mug! It was a knockoff of the real All Might merch, but still…that kid gifted it to us, it was important. I’m so disappointed at myself and you shouldn’t be all lovey-dovey right now-“

”Like what?”

Katsuki was both confused and thrilled, he couldn’t help a small grin slip out.

”Like the way you do before you kiss me, dumbass”

Bakugo answered almost too quickly.

”Is that so? Am I that readable?”

Izuku chuckled and the blonde haired man swore he could get drunk on this laughter.

He wanted to keep it inside a small shell that could fit inside a pocket.

That way, if he ever needed to hear his lover’s laughter when he was away, he could just get the shell close to his right ear and feel at home.

“But-“

Bakugo felt a bit unsure, he was about to ask Izuku something that he could not remember.

”-what if, uhm, you kiss…me?”

Izuku stopped smiling and gently pushed his shoulder.

”I think we’re well past this stage, you look stiff! But sure pretty boy, c’mere ”

Katsuki almost had a stroke. That teasy banter that they shared was intoxicating. And he could not care less about other people thinking he was pretty.

Izuku’s opinion weighted a million times more.

It all felt so wrong. Asking him for a kiss. Wanting something from someone of a distorted reality. He felt selfish and disgusting.

When Izuku’s palm rested on his neck and left ear and his fingertips started to play with some tousled strands of blond hair, Bakugo instinctively moved his head forward at a degree like he was asking for more.

Electricity started running in a circuit from his nape to his stomach.

Izuku closed the distance between them with a kiss that still held a proud smile.

His lips were soft and warm, still curved upwards from their chuckles. It was the most beautiful feeling Bakugo could ever recall.

It was not new, it was better: it was familiar.

Like a perfume you smell when you’re six and then again recognize 15 years later when walking down a crowded street.

He was being caressed with the utmost consideration and grace.

It was embracing every little crack Katsuki was sure he had. Every imperfection he wanted to hide.

Every spiteful and hateful thing he had ever done was eclipsed by the light Izuku was radiating.

The man with vibrant green eyes was taking it slowly, like somebody whispered to him that this kiss had to be grounding and comforting for Bakugo too.

Their teeth quietly clashed together and the man with shiny red pools was glad he could just follow his partner’s lead.

He forgot how terrifyingly beautiful was to be the one that surrenders. The one who cuts his own torso open and trusts the other enough to navigate and touch and rip apart his heart and veins.

Like he heard his thoughts, Izuku slightly moved his tongue in search for a closer embrace.

Bakugo opened his mouth a bit more and let their tongues mingle.

Izuku was taking him away, somewhere safe.

He could take him anywhere he wanted, for all that mattered.

Katsuki’s back hit the black stool of the kitchen’s island. Their pace was gradually increasing, hands running under their respective shirts.

Midoriya’s fingers pulled and stretched the skin on Bakugo’s hips, intently, still never losing the rhythm of the kiss.

Anywhere they moved, he felt dizzy.

It was getting better by the minute, until he felt Izuku’s lips retreating.

He was slightly confused, but the emerald eyes displayed sure intentions.

Izuku lowered his head and started tracing a path of slow kisses that started from Katsuki’s collarbones to his left ear.

Each of them was careful, heated, delicate.

Sucking gently, leaving purplish traces just for them to know about and point out.

Katsuki could not help but hold his breath. He could not avoid the ticking sound of the timer that was marking the seconds he had left to enjoy.

“I wonder-“

Izuku said whispering, sweet and decisive.

”-if people would still be so scared of you if they knew about your heart-shaped mole…”

He was calmly breathing on his neck, contemplating and then kissing the spot he just mentioned.

Bakugo felt his knees get wobbly, his feet sinking in sand dunes.

Izuku was the only one to know he had such a weird-shaped mole behind his ear.

He remembered how he always teased him about it when they were 17 and making out in his dorm room.

That void he felt hours before found its way to interrupt and overlap with the bliss of the moment.

He wanted to keep it away, to ask this void to be merciful and grant him the time and place to register every little thing that was happening.

He was not ready to let go, not yet.

He held the green curls tighter, opening and closing his fist at regular intervals to make himself believe it was all real and steady. He was real and safe.

No alarm or villain were coming to take him away, right?

So why was he feeling this impending doom? Why, when he’s surrounded by everything he has ever wanted?

He could now feel Izuku talking to him, sweet nothings of everyday life.

He could not understand the specifics of what he was saying, his hearing aid had probably moved while making out.

“..and that’s why I love you.”

These last words were clear, especially because he was following the green haired’s lips movement.

He closed his eyes and shed a tear that was begging to come out.

It ran along his cheeks and neck, burning, retracing all the spots that were so tenderly kissed and touched just moments prior.

He could not say it back because deep down he knew this was not his Izuku. This was the life that his selfishness wanted.

These were moments that their adult selves never really lived.

He could take memories from their teen years and twist them, change them, dream about them. It still didn’t bring his Izuku back.

Katsuki’s digital alarm started ringing, bright neon-red numbers showing it was time to get up.

His fake life was turning into ashes, the room got smaller and smaller, darkness fading and phagocytizing every corner.

He hugged Izuku tightly before accepting that his alarm just kicked him back to reality.

He inhaled burnt coffee and soothing sandalwood one last time, saying goodbye to the only house he felt like calling ‘home’.

It was 5:55 am.

Real brilliant of Katsuki to be a paranoid and scheduling multiple alarms before the real time he needed to wake up at.

Dawn was at its early stages and a lilac light was now engulfing his room. His black closet, standing next to his bed, had tints of deep blue and the orange lava lamp on the floor complimented it perfectly. A game of lights was unfolding right in front of him.

Still, he was mad at himself for forgetting to close the curtains when he got back home.

He touched his pillow and noticed it was wet, acid rain leaking through his roof at night.

A feeling of uneasiness invested him, how could a dream feel so real and fake at the same time?

How did he cry for so long without waking up?

After almost breaking his alarm clock, he got up and stomped towards his bathroom.

Before getting in, he looked through his window just to make sure no Empire State Building was in sight.

The advertising signs above the buildings written in Japanese and Japanese only created a small swirl of disappointment that stuck to his throat.

Entering the bathroom, he felt like the lights were too white and artificial. He made a mental note, thinking about the closest lightbulb shop to hop by after his patrol.

If the lights sucked, his mirror was worse.

It was not being clement with him at all: the Katsuki reflected on the wall had puffy eyes, small drops of tears on his pj’s, ruffled spiky hair and a neck that had been untouched in years.

No violet traces whatsoever.

He did not have the guts to twist his head to look at his mole, so he just combed his hair to cover everything up.

The warmth he had felt moments earlier was now a distant memory; his cold bathroom floor tiles and freezing metal faucet reminded him he was all alone.

He adjusted his hearing aid and chuckled to himself. No one else lived with him, his mornings were silent and monotonous.

Damned was Shouto Todoroki for bringing up a wound that never fully healed, a cut that kept bleeding if only mentioned.

Katsuki got through his day with a pit in his stomach.

Curiosity and sadness were doing a tango in his brain, but he was well aware that searching for details of Izuku online would have annihilated all the progress he had made in these past years.

He was 26 years old. Many of his old classmates and current friends had partners or pets or both (annoying show-offs), but him? Still lonely, always lonely.

Maybe he should get a cat. Not an orange one, he heard they’re bossy and aggressive.

He could go to the animal rescue center after buying the lightbulbs. Yes, it was a close drive. Was it impulsive? Maybe.

After taking a boiling shower and having breakfast, Bakugo dialed Kirishima’s number to tell him about the cat.

”Man…are you okay?”

”Moron, what’s up with this tone?! If I needed useless sentimental worries about my wellbeing I would have called my mother, you dumbass!”

”Good morning Bakubabe!”

Mina’s voice was ecstatic and kind. He could not handle this much positivity so early in the morning.

” ‘morning Mina, please tell your boyfriend to stop bitching me with his questions and actually support me in my adoption journey. It’s important”

”Adopting!?”

”A cat, darling”

They laughed hysterically for the almost-misunderstanding and Bakugo wanted to close the call and declare war to couples that started mirroring their behaviors and reactions in creepy ways.

“Yes, a cat. What’s so funny? I hate you both now.”

”I’m sorry babe but I sort of envisioned you adopting a young brat and making them cry when they don’t understand their maths homework, like you did with Kirishima”

Mina was still giggling and her vision would have probably been true.

Only, there was just one person he even remotely thought about building a family with. And he would have tried to not scream at their brat. He would have been as patient as his lover wanted.

“Okay okay, but let’s go back to the serious stuff. Me, my cool apartment and an even cooler cat. That’s perfect right? You two have a dog, you should support me!”

”Man, I mean, you love to clean and having pets means vacuuming the floors 10 times a day. And it’ll still be not enough. If you are aware of this commitment, I will support you. A cat is great for when you’re at work since they don’t get too cuddly, am I right?”

Kirishima was trying to be positive and supportive, but he could sense that he was also trying to spell to Bakugo why he had this sudden idea.

“I will get a cat then, this apartment truly needs a worthy companion for a great guy like me”

”You know you could, uhm, also…date? A cat seems great, but don’t you feel like it’s the right time to put yourself out there, showing those manly biceps to single and starved guys?”

Oh, Katsuki was one hundred percent sure he needed to hang up.

”First of all, mind your fucking business. Second of all, I am out there. Around. Yeah. A natural flirt, that’s what they call me-”

”Kats, you haven’t dated anyone since-“ he took a big breath, trying to be as empathetic as possible.

”-you know, it was high school graduation. This is all I’m gonna say. He has a life there and you need to enjoy your life here. You deserve it more than anyone I know. You’re alive.”

Kirishima’s speech cut too deep.

What’s up with these ruthless redheads intruding in his life? First Todoroki and now him.

He wanted to scream.

To break and burst things. He wanted to hurt himself so badly that every pain receptor in his body would have been numbed, he just wished to forget he still felt like an addict. The ones in critical conditions that hope that a certain feeling could last forever.

”I’m perfectly aware that I’m alive. You don’t need to be such a piss. I’m gonna call you tonight, bye.”

He pushed the red button and sighed.

“Call ended: 25 minutes”

He matured over the years, but no matter which age you turn, it still sucks when someone is right and they see right through you.

Kirishima had been his best friend for more than a decade now. They updated each other daily, either with calls or messages.

His friend was charismatic, kind, emotional. Every single thing Katsuki thought he coveted.

He was the only one Bakugo let in, the only who had seen how bad his breakup with Izuku affected him. They were 18 and Kirishima did not leave him alone, never, even when he refused to eat or go out, when he threw up after horrifically-long panic attacks.

Even when he cried himself to sleep day and night for a week straight, Kirishima stayed by his side and offered to wash his hair in silence.

And he accepted, the both of them trying to understand how to communicate with each other without making the other feel embarrassed.

Their friendship bloomed slowly and steadily. It was one of the most genuine relationships Katsuki had.

Should he listen to his friend’s advice? Does he feel ready? Is being ready a feeling or a choice?

What’s the difference?

He could not tell Kirishima about his dream, he helped Katsuki too much, he did not deserve to hear that he was still hooked to his addiction.

When you grow up and don’t let go of certain things, you run the risk of turning into a tall child. Your adult skin and bones are just a cover for those unbearable teenage feelings.

He could already feel a migraine sparking from his temples.

Following one of his father’s old habits, he swiftly wrote down the things he needed to accomplish for the day.

He circled and highlighted “getting a cat”.

Loneliness was truly getting to his head, it was mortifying.

Hours went by, his work shift ended without tragic accidents.

He had a goal now, and he was aware of an animal center in his neighborhood that was quite small and well kept.

It was 7 pm and in 30 minutes the keeper would have closed the doors to the public.

Katsuki had to be fast and wise in his choice.

He was shocked by how silent the cats and dogs in the cages were. Their eyes were wide and tired.

He cursed himself for not being able to take them all. It was unfair to live in a cubicle for years and years.

Lost in his thoughts, he heard a cat mewing loudly. He followed the sound and met the smallest and most energetic cat ever.

It was black with the tiniest brown spots in its ears, and beautiful long white whiskers.

Its mesmerizing and lively jade eyes were the arrow that neatly crossed Bakugo’s heart.

He was sure.

Before turning to the keeper, he heard some scratching and twisting.

The black cat was biting another’s cat tail. The other cat was unresponsive and calm.

This cat, probably the same age as the other, was completely orange with white paws. Its eyes were imperceptibly open, revealing two small honey-colored pools.

Damn.

…

”+4 messages from ‘Katsuki the Fire Jedi’ “

Kirishima had just brushed his teeth and was now chilling on his bed next to Mina when he heard the popping sound of the notifications.

“Babe, I think Katsuki got the cat!”

”Oh my god, let me see-”

Kirishima instantly opened the chat and there were 3 pictures and a message.

Two cats with opposite personalities and appearances were cuddling on Katsuki’s bed.

The black one was towering over the orange one and the latter had sleepy eyes and long stretched legs.

“These are my daughters now. Toys and food are accepted as welcoming gifts. ‘Night to you Dumbhair. And GOODnight to Mina. I’ll call you tomorrow, I’m too tired rn.”

The couple shared a smile, completely enamored by the sweet cats.

Both of them thought the same thing: the colors were…tragically accurate.

No one dared to say anything.

….

Time went on, months overlapping, beige and grey leaves falling from the trees and snowflakes taking their place.

Icy surfaces melting into water to let green thrive and bloom all around.

Katsuki turned 28 years old three months ago now.

He still did not date anyone, but his apartment was no longer silent as his two cats had been with him for over a year and a half.

Did they turn spoiled rotten?

Of course they did, Katsuki was not a monster.

He thought he was the only guy in the world that had a normal, perhaps worryingly quiet, orange cat. He named her Kate.

The black one, Yelena, was a feisty little cat that loved to tease Kate.

Becoming a parent had its ups and downs, but his mental health got better.

His nightmares were less frequent and his daughters woke him up to make biscuits almost every night. That was their routine.

So, if he needed to cry, or woke up already crying, he could just distract himself by watching the best bakers in Japan rolling on his bed.

It was summer and his work shifts were shorter, many people did move from the city to spend their holidays by the beach towns, especially Okinawa.

That meant crime rates were decreasing too.

Or one could wish they did.

It was a late afternoon in the middle of July when Katsuki got a government call that urged him to control a building near the airport.

Suspicious encounters were registered by the cameras of a parking lot, a group of men with black capes frequently going in and out of that place.

The security department suggested him to go incognito, so basically dressing like he would do in his private life, some plain jeans and a t-shirt.

He got ready and took the train to the airport, his car was too nice and big to go unnoticed.

While waiting for the train, he looked around the underground station. There were bright and nauseating phone ads, old paper maps of the city, posters of concerts and huge yellow departure boards hanging from the roof.

The robotic registered voice announced that his train was coming.

He adjusted his feet so not to cross the safety white line, while a chilly wind breeze confirmed what said prior in the announcement.

A group of people on his left, about 15 feet away from him, was dancing and singing.

Katsuki adjusted his hearing aid to try to understand what they were saying.

”Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear…”

What a sweet-

What.

What?

He checked his phone.

“18:15, July 15th”

It was Izuku’s birthday.

He gulped. An icy rock from Saturn found its way to his heart. Something was squeezing it.

As one does for instinct, he turned his head, sure he could spot Izuku.

He got closer and the faces became clearer. They were strangers. But the birthday person was a kid with green curly hair. Fuck.

Destiny had twisted ways to make fun of people. Real nice, sure.

He stepped back and waited for the train doors to open. He needed to sit and breathe.

After 40 minutes, the train had reached his destination. He got off and looked back at the family with the birthday kid real quick. Whatever, he thought.

He then got to work and silently inspected the abandoned building.

He found many files scattered around the floor, they were all related to the airport employees, security staff, cashiers, pilots.

He immediately called his agency and the security department, which were already scanning and piecing back together the identities of this small and probably violent group of villains.

Todoroki called him and informed him that in these past few months he worked on a similar case and if their investigations were correct, all these villains were tied to the same secret society called “The Black Hand”.

For tonight, Katsuki was free to go, the group would have returned no sooner than two days later, all according to previous observations.

On his way back to the train station, he remembered he had to buy some eggs and more cat food than what he already had at home.

There was a 7-Eleven nearby, so he thought he could take the next train.

The shop was modest but fairly big, many aisles divided the space like a labyrinth.

Walking across the noodle aisle, he smelled something unusual.

Sandalwood?

Since when supermarkets spray male perfumes so casually?

He shook his head thinking he was going mad. Turning his feet, he noticed someone walking in the opposite direction from where he was.

Except that someone was not a random person.

Izuku?

He couldn’t tell if his mind was playing tricks on him.

“What…?”

Bakugo had no idea if he just screamed or whispered.

”Excuse me?”

The curly man stopped in his tracks and looked at him.

Really looked at him.

Emerald green eyes met his gaze and he forgot how to breathe.

”No way. No freaking way. Tell me this is the Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight in flesh. Am I right?”

The ecstatic question was followed by heartfelt giggles.

Izuku’s dimples were bigger than Katsuki remembered. He got taller. Not taller than him, but quite.

His hair was shorter and well kept. He was bigger, buffer, and he exuded self-confidence from every pore. New York had him work on his muscles.

Did his curls become softer than how they were when he was 18?

Before being flooded by all of these questions, Katsuki logged off.

He entered a mental trance. His neurons short-circuited and imploded, like Shinsou had just brainwashed him.

Neither the crappy love songs nor the novels lied about that gut-wrenching feeling of thinking you see the person you miss in every single crowd you’re in.

You chase their shadow in grocery lines and bus stops. You hear their name when no one is talking.

You are haunted by every possible “what-if” that your mind can conceive.

And like it was not enough, time truly slowed down. Disgustingly cliché of Katsuki.

A reel of memories was taking him hostage and he only wanted to run away from what was happening.

Being kids and falling in the river; Izuku kindly offering his hand.

Being middle school kids and not knowing why you feel so much self-hatred and shame inside. Being saved by your quirkless childhood best friend. Realizing it’s not a ‘friendship’ on your side, but more.

Being in high school and having him around all the time. Sitting in front of him in class. Sparring together.

Wanting to know every little secret he had, getting mad at him for being distant.

Watching him talk with girls.

A midnight fight to settle who’s stronger. He did not surpass you, not yet.

Pining him down and stepping on him; blocking tears before anyone could see them.

Holidays spent together, shared missions, training under Endeavor.

The blood, the sweat, the final battle against AFO.

Him knowing that he would die for Izuku. And dying to prove him right.

Waking up in the hospital and feeling awful, rushing to Izuku’s room and letting all his buried tears fall.

All the PTSD, the classes, the slow return towards a normal high school experience. Except nothing about UA and their lives was normal.

Their sleepless nights spent together in their dorms, listening to their respective heartbeats.

Cuddling in silence. Showing him how vulnerable he was. Izuku using his index finger to trace Katsuki’s chest scar and then kissing it gently.

Making love to one another, covering their mouths to muffle their sounds, hushed rustles on the bedsheets.

Not knowing how to regulate his hearing aid the mornings after and Izuku helping him every single time.

Being aware he sold part of his soul to this man. Self-prophesying that no one else in the world could touch him, hold him and understand him like Izuku did.

”It’s like a small heart, you are so not scary after finding out about this…I have you wrapped around my little finger now, Kacchan”

The mole he never even knew existed before Izuku told him.

Him and the rest of the class saving up money for Izuku’s suit. Imploring his parents to sell their second apartment to get as much money as soon as possible.

Not having the heart to tell Izuku what he did and paying back his parents every single cent after taking more work shifts for multiple years.

Izuku accepting the suit and Bakugo thinking his dream did not die that day. He didn’t die either.

Rekindled flames don’t last during a snow storm, he learned it the hard way.

It was December and they were on their last year. The US president requested a meeting with Izuku.

Americans never bring good news, he knew it.

Their last afternoons together were too blurry to recall, Bakugo helped him packing and never uttered a word. Izuku got mad at him.

Told him it was once in a life chance. He should be happy for him. Or not. He wanted to hear his opinion. He was still so unsure.

”Go for it, nobody’s stopping you”

”Why are you doing this?! You’re making it more difficult than what it should be, I-”

”Why? Izuku, listen to yourself. You’re right. It’s an incredible opportunity, but don’t look at me with your hopeful eyes and shiny smile like your choice will not impact our relationship. What are you gonna do? Facetime me when you should sleep and when I should be at work? Please...”

”Don’t you think I would try every possible thing to keep you in my life?!”

”You know, being continents afar is a big hint on what you really want to do! I guess Tokyo is not cool anymore, huh?”

”Kacchan, stop. This is getting mean”

”You’ll be great. I know you will. See, that’s your future. You just chose it.”

”If you don’t have the guts to break up with me, I should probably be the one to do it then, since l am the selfish one in this relationship-“

Izuku was about to drop the phrase that punctured Katsuki’s heart for 10 years.

“-yes, see, our relationship is over. I definitely couldn’t be a good long-distance partner.”

”Glad we cleared that out, Midoriya”

Katsuki was angry and hurt and decisively impulsive.

He rushed to the door and did not look back.

”Wait!”

….

”Bakugo? Hey? Are you okay?”

Izuku’s hand was moving left and right trying to get Katsuki’s attention.

”What? Ehm?”

”You totally blacked out man. Do you have low pressure or something?”

Izuku’s tone was worried. Bakugo felt sick. His voice made him sick.

”I’m okay Izuku, don’t get anxious on me please, I’m a grown man…and ‘Bakugo’? I’ve seen you poop your pants when we were children, no need to be this formal”

Izuku smiled.

”I thought…I wasn’t sure if you still felt comfortable with me calling you ‘Kacchan’, it sounded too intimate, you know?”

Izuku was right and this was driving the blonde man mad.

“We were..”

Katsuki did not hold back.

”What?”

”We were, intimate. Or maybe you forgot”

”I didn’t…-” Izuku exhaled, annoyed “-ugh, you didn’t change a bit, did you? You stubborn fool”

An embarrassing amount of seconds passed without any of them saying anything.

A pink flush colored Bakugo’s cheeks. If he could swipe time lines, he’d choose to die right now.

“Why are you here?”

”One of my uncles died and my mom really cared about him. She’s been so sad and she didn’t want to tell me anything, but Toshinori called me and… here I am!”

Katsuki looked at his eyes, then his freckles, then his smile and eyes again. His optimism was even bigger than when he was a brat, he sounded too American.

”Oh, yeah, my mom told me him and her were together. Or whatever they’ve got going on…”

”She misses you, and All Might too, you know?”

Katsuki thought he misheard Izuku for a moment.

”Inko? Missing me?”

”You heard me. You don’t visit her anymore, from what I know”

Oh, Izuku did not just say that.

”I wonder where you find your audacity…or perhaps it’s your new life that made you dumber. How could Inko miss me and not his son, that lives an absurd amount of kilometers away?”

”It’s not like distance means I don’t call, or write…or send letters. Yes, before you say anything else, flying here is not as easy as I would like. But I still hear from lots of people. All of 1-A, Toshinori, my mom…I wish I could list you too. But it’s been so long since I’ve heard from you. Look at you, you’re so much taller. And prettier. You’ve grown into your features.”

”It’s not fair how you treat all of this so casually”

Bakugo felt his grip loosening.

“You have never been ‘casual’ to me, don’t pretend like you don’t know it”

Izuku seemed so sure. But it was impossible to believe him.

”Here, take my number. It works in every country. Both calls and texts, so, if you ever change your mind…”

Izuku waited for Katsuki to unlock his phone. The guy did not seem convinced.

Despite his furrowed eyebrows, Katsuki let him.

“Oh? Wait, you still have my old number”

“Of course I have it”

A lost and forgotten intimacy is difficult to grasp and understand for someone that has not experienced it in their bones.

How could they, 10 years later, in different bodies and lives, still fathom what their silences meant?

“Here you go. Two ‘Izuku’s on your phone. Don’t mix them up, haha!”

His laughter was forced and embarrassed, Bakugo feared he ruined the moment. He needed to tell him something.

”I was thinking that-“

Izuku’s phone started ringing.

His screen gleamed, showing a selfie of him and Rody. The latter was the one calling him.

Oh.

Oh.

“Wait a sec, I’ll tell him to call later”

The man pressed the green button and politely greeted him, adding details about his flight in the fastest way possible.

“Yes, everything is alright! I slept through all the flight and I’m okay now, no jet lag whatsoever. Can I call you later? …

Okay, byebye Birdy”

BIRDY?

Did he just call Rody ‘‘Birdy’’?

Could this moment get worse than what was already happening?

“Sorry Kacchan, I promised I would have updated him but I forgot and-“

”Oh you don’t have to worry. It’s okay. You and Birdy, huh, what a fabulous duo, right?”

”Yeah, I’d say we are”

Izuku stared at him, defiantly.

”He’s my best friend now”

Please, Bakugo thought, could a fire alarm just free me from this torment?

“Him, his boyfriend and I have awesome movie nights at my place, we call them ‘Tickle my Tarantino’ and…oh my god? After saying it out loud it looks 10 times worse than what it is, we judge old movies and cliché romcoms, I swear nothing weird happens-”

Izuku was hyperventilating, it was funny.

”-the ones we did as children were quite different, but it’s still a lot of fun”

Ohhhhhhh.

Okay.

Okay…okay?

Don’t panic.

“Uhm, I got lost in my rambling…again…and my mom is waiting for me to come home. I’m sorry, you look busy too. It was nice meeting you here. I want to make her some katsudon, so I’m gonna buy the ingredients and go, if that’s alright?”

Katsuki was listening to every single word so intensely that he forgot to reply.

”Oh! Sure you go! Bye..?”

Izuku nodded and walked away; but before turning the aisle Katsuki decided he had to tell him something.

”Wait!”

The whole 7-Eleven heard the red eyed man.

”Yes?”

”Happy birthday, Izuku”

The curly green haired man relaxed his face muscles.

He did not smile nor show a grudged expression. He just looked serene.

“You remembered, huh”

Katsuki, this one time, was sure.

He would have not turned his back.

”I’m just like you,” - Bakugo said - “I remember everything.”

Their bodies were moving in different directions, but their eyes held a magnetic pull that tried to bring them closer.

They eventually turned their heads and went on with their obligations.

The time spent on the train was excruciatingly painful for Katsuki.

He was fidgeting with his phone, unsure if their encounter meant something.

Could he actually text him or Izuku said it just because?

This polite fucker was demolishing every progress Katsuki had made in the last 2 years.

He could still feel his heart accelerating and beating out of his chest, even if Izuku was not in the train with him.

When he got home and fed the cats, he sat on his couch and opened his Messages. He clicked Izuku’s new number contact and started typing.

He did not like anything he was writing, it either sounded too desperate or too dry.

He tried and tried again, until he fell asleep from exhaustion.

The next morning he woke up sweaty, on his couch, with the same clothes of yesterday night.

Ugh, he hated not wearing a pj’s for the night.

He checked his phone, that was unusually running on low battery, and looked at his notifications.

”+3 messages from Izuku(so American)”

A picture and two texts. Woah. But…how did he get his current number?

”Hey man, I probably look pathetic rn but I never cared about how I look so..sorry for the pun! I made an excellent katsudon tonight and wanted to show you. Todoroki sent me your new number, if you’re wondering.”

“Did I remove the pressure of the first message? I know you get all twisted and anxious with this type of things…anyways, I’m organizing a small party for my birthday tomorrow night. I found this place nearby my house [google.maps//23-45-671] and it’s sick! Live music and fluorescent drinks. Lmk if you can come, I also wrote to our other classmates”

Katsuki then zoomed on the picture and examined the three dishes. He really did a great job.

He wondered if he followed the recipe he taught him at 16. He shook his head to not think about it.

Okay, he had to reply now.

Something effective and meaningful and direct….

”👍”

30 minutes passed and Izuku reacted with a laughing emoji.

Bakugo felt like throwing up. Was it good? Was it bad?

He called Kirishima and told him everything.

The red haired man was proud of his best friend for having been so forward and honest, but at the same time he advised prudence: it was wise not jumping to conclusions for now.

“That’s awesome man, it looks like he really wants to hear from you. But-“

”Yes?”

”-you were almost hospitalized last time. Actually, you were hospitalized for him. And then almost died a second time when he broke up with you. Please, trust your gut and keep some distance for now”

”I cannot go against what you just said, so I will politely ask you to help me think about a gift.”

”Wait, like all the class except for Ochako already thought about a group gift. I’m sorry man!”

“How…? When…?”

”Iida already bought everything and collected our money. My hands are tied. Try to call Ochako, I’m sure she still has to go shopping!”

”Pink cheeks huh?”

”Haha, these two days have been crazy for you, Kats. Do you think you have some karmic debt to pay in this life or?”

”Apparently…”

Bakugo hanged up and called Uraraka.

After a couple of seconds, she replied.

”Katsuki, hey!”

”Hi there, sorry to bother you, uhm, you probably already heard about the Izuku party-thing and I needed someone to help me with the gift. We could also do it together, if you want”

”Sure man, could you be at the mall next to Shibuya in an hour? I’m still in my office but I’ll be done by then”

”Sure, see you later Pink cheeks”

Katsuki got ready, he was a bit nervous.

Back in their high school days, he admired Uraraka’s power and strength.

In these past years, she trained so hard and became one of the best heroes in the top 30, while simultaneously founding and directing the Quirk Counseling Project.

The war changed everyone and, out of all of them, Uraraka took it as a personal mission to avoid the possibility of having kids that despised themselves and their quirks.

It was 10 am and the two of them met at the first floor of the mall.

They exchanged small talk questions and started wandering around to find the perfect gift.

”I’m surprised you’re here for such a thing. I know you two haven’t spoken in years”

Bakugo’s mouth felt dry.

”Huh, yeah, we met yesterday night actually. Near the airport. A totally random encounter mind you, after 10 years. Wild, yeah?”

”I just know your psychologist has gonna have the time of their life now...”

“What’s that supposed to mean, Super Girl?”

”Just teasing man, don’t worry”

They walked through an electronics shop and Uraraka stopped her walk abruptly.

”Here! He needs a good camera, he told me he’s studying lighting and squares and random NYC photographers, so this will do”

She pointed at a Canon EOS R6 Mark.

After reading the info sheet, Katsuki was convinced too.

It was quite pricey, but their hero jobs were reasonably tied with high salaries.

He was genuinely happy that Uraraka stopped worrying about her finances. She worked so hard for everything she wanted. He was sure her family was proud of her as well.

After getting a bright wrapping paper and a ribbon, they took a break and walked into a café.

Ochako ordered a green tea and Katsuki followed her choice.

While waiting for their cups, Uraraka started anxiously tapping the edge of their wooden table.

”Are you okay?”

”Me? Yes, sure…it’s a random thing I do when I think”

”What..are you thinking of?”

Her brown eyes were deep and mesmerizing.

“In the nicest way possible, I’m so mad at you. Izuku too, but you surpass him”

Bakugo was abashed.

”Mad at me? How so?”

The timing of the waiter was comical, the tension could be cut with a knife.

He quietly placed the elegant tea mugs and the cookies tray in front of them and disappeared.

“10 whole years. And you even laugh about it, embarrassed. I will talk about you only because Izuku is not here, but him and I need to have a talk too. You had so much time to stay together. To be in each other’s lives. Your pride is your Achille’s heel, but you already know that, right?”

Words were failing Katsuki.

”You know how much I would pay to see Toga again?”

Her voice trembled.

”I still see her, sometimes, not as vividly as before, but she lives in the kids I help. In their smiles I see hers. It’s just, uhm, not the same.”

Her hand got close to the tea cup and then she sipped some of the hot beverage.

”I think you’re not as brave as you think, Bakugo”

”Excuse me?”

”I said what I said. You had all the instruments and possibilities to build your future. A lovely wealthy family. Good classmates. Pro-heroes that loved you. God, the greatest hero of Japan head over heels in love with you.”

Her gaze was cold and analytical.

”Dying for someone is a thing. But living for them is so much scarier. And real.”

Katsuki swallowed his own saliva, swiftly rubbing his shirt-neck at the same time.

”I think you could not stand going out of your small and safe circle. I mean, you died. It’s a reasonable pattern to fall into. But we had medical support. We had one another too. Toga’s sacrifice had me going crazy. I thought anything and everything in my life was breakable and fragile. I wanted to quit my hero career and drown in some river, sure that my aching heart would have agreed to let me die-“

”-but. And there’s always a but. Her death had a meaning: for me to understand other people like I understood her. I regret learning about her life so late. I know it’s not really my fault and the circumstances were difficult, well…”

”I’m sorry Ochako. I know my opinion doesn’t change anything, but I am.”

”I care about you, Katsuki, and you’re right. I appreciate your act of empathy, but nothing changes with a ‘sorry’. I’m pissed because I want to see actions with a meaning. Don’t tell me that distance is equivalent to death. You’re always afraid to take the first step because all you see is every negative thing ten miles down the road.”

Well, she was not wrong.

”I doubt that you realized that vulnerability doesn’t ask for grand gestures. No heroes ranking is tied to it. When you love someone, you love them more than yourself. More than your fears.”

She stood up, her cup was empty. She took a biscuit and left in silence, leaving him with the gift and the paper.

Her speech was unloading a long forgotten fear of Katsuki’s.

He drank his tea and left the mall.

Back at his house, he dreaded for the party to come. He did not feel like going, but Ochako trapped him with the gift. What an evil genius. Yes, she was basically a saint with her humanitarian work, but still.

When the time came, he slipped into black trousers and a white shirt. Nothing too elegant or sporty. Okay.

He meticulously wrapped Izuku’s gift and spent about 20 minutes trying to give the ribbon the perfect end-twirls.

He paced around his kitchen, fed the cats and then sprayed some more cologne on himself before leaving for the party.

When he arrived, the place was pretty packed. Strings of warm lights were hanging from the ceilings.

A huge black table on the left was used to collect the gifts, so he put the camera there.

Looking around, he spotted Todoroki talking with Iida.

”Hey man, I was just telling Iida about the updates on our mission. I’m positive we’ll dismantle the secret society in a couple of weeks”

Katsuki nodded absentmindedly.

Todoroki’s hard-working nature was admirable, bless his soul, but right now he could not care less about that Black Hand business.

He kept frantically looking around. There was only one face he wanted to recognize.

Of course, Denki, Jirou, Kirishima, Sero and Mina spotted him before he succeeded in finding Izuku.

They literally squished him with hugs and jokingly pinched his cheeks. Denki’s wrist was on sight.

If he ever tried something like that again, Katsuki would have obliterated his whole arm.

Kirishima exchanged an understanding gaze and told the group he needed to try the craziest beer from that place.

They let Katsuki go and he mouthed a “Thank you” to his best friend.

Kirishima mouthed back with a “You’re welcome”.

After some minutes, he spotted the so awaited green curls.

He had been so sure before, but now his legs were not moving.

Why? Why was he like this?

Izuku was as gorgeous as the last day he saw him ten years ago, leaving Tokyo for New York.

His forest green shirt matched his hair, and his baggy jeans reminded him he loved to be both comfortable and stylish, even when he was at the center of the attention.

The lights from the ceilings were shining on his face, showing Katsuki how well his delicate and sharp features co-existed in his face.

The face scar and the freckles.

His lips and his smile.

The eyebrows and his hypnotic gaze.

Pools of jade and emerald made him understand, a long time ago, why someone would take their lover’s name and build a city on it. Out of pain, out of devotion.

Like Hephaestion who died, leaving Alexander the Great alone in his prayers.