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Nicholas sat himself down on one of the empty benches, the air was crisp - laced with cinnamon and spices. It is autumn yet again, in what felt like a blink of an eye. Sipping slowly on his strawberry latte, he lets his eyes wander around. Families are out huddling in small circles, early fall being such nice weather to bask in, not too cold nor too hot to be outside in the open. A gentle smile spreads along his lips, imagining a future as such - jumping into puddles and piled up golden leaves. He entertains himself people-watching, though this is way too uncommon for him who is always beaming with energy. He follows each step that soon disappears into the main street, little hops that end up by the entrance of the park, excited wiggle of tail that fades into small dots in his horizon.
He kept his eyes busy until they landed on a pair of familiar gleaming eyes. The pair that he knew all too well - from each curve of lashes to every fold of creases and how they become the prettiest crescents when the owner smiles. Nicholas could feel his breath catch in his throat, heart stopping in that moment as he stood up slowly - strawberry latte still half finished in his hand. He wanted to say something, anything honestly, but nothing came out of his mouth but bated breaths. His heart swells, the weight of his feelings comes crashing down - hard. The hazel pair of eyes are as gentle and as kind as ever, slightly curved up by the ends upon seeing him.
“Euijoo..” After what felt like a century long, Nicholas managed to mutter.
“Hi, Nichol!” The voice Nicholas has been missing felt like music to his ears, ever so sweet - even more than honey.
“You’re back?” Nicholas asked awkwardly, fidgeting with his cup of strawberry latte - a habit that is obviously stemming out of his nerves.
“Mhm! Back for good! How have you been?” Euijoo’s eyes never left Nicholas’ shifty ones, lips curving up in one beautiful smile that Nicholas always dreamt of.
“G-good. Oh, I’m actually late, I’ll catch up with you later, Euijoo.” Despite how much he has missed the latter one, he had to get himself away - then.
As soon as he gets home, he mentally plummets himself down the eight-storey apartment he lives in. How can it be five years and he is as difficult as ever. He has no one else to blame but himself - back then, and even now.
“I’ll catch up with you later? You don’t even have his fucking new number, you fucking moron!”
Nicholas mumbles to himself, exasperatedly as he keeps replaying the scenes from this evening in his head, over his oxtail soup dinner. Once he was done, he stares at his black TV screen - brain still playing endless loops of the scenes and takes from that evening. Until eventually, his mind wandered off to the preceding five years.
Byun Euijoo, a tall lanky guy who has a knack for study and sports. The President of the Student Council, a social butterfly that knows how to get along with almost everyone. If you were to ask a random student as to who Byun Euijoo is, nine out of ten times you would hear nothing but praises for him - that one out of ten being Nicholas Wang having one sided beef with him.
Nicholas Wang - himself, a guy who’s mood depends on how many hours of sleep he’s running on. Prefers to catch up on sleep in classes he could never figure out, enjoys basketball during Physical Education class and is a high achiever in going home straight after school club. Their differences are stark and palpable, thus Nicholas himself never imagined he would ever get along with Euijoo.
It was summer, and Nicholas was on cleaning duty that day. Despite his reputation, he actually would still carry out his due diligence. So, there he was - arranging the tables and chairs, sweeping the floor and dusting off the whiteboard. His partner that day happened to be The Byun Euijoo and that was his first encounter with said superstar of the school since his transfer.
“You’re… Nicholas, right?” Euijoo’s voice has a quiet tremble to it, but warm enough to be heard nicely to Nicholas’s ears.
“Yeah.” Nicholas’ answer was short and curt. Is he jealous of what Euijoo has? Or was there something that irked him about Euijoo being so likeable?
Euijoo could sense the distance in the answer, nodding slowly as his lips curled up in a shy smile. Beautiful. That was what Nicholas’ head was thinking. He knows Euijoo is well-known for being nice, but he was not well informed of him being this beautiful. Nicholas clears his throat, catching himself before he falls deeper - soon he leaves Euijoo standing in the middle of the class, grabbing his bag and the trash to be thrown.
Ever since that day, despite them not talking, Nicholas keeps finding himself stealing glances in Euijoo’s way. Be it at the school assembly when he had to be in front, or in class where he stays in his second front seat and Nicholas at the very back of the class. Sometimes Euijoo would catch Nicholas’ glances - and that was when Nicholas’ heart jumped as he tried to act nonchalant as if he wasn’t staring the whole time.
“Do you have any problem with me?”
The question caught Nicholas off guard, he was staring into the void from his class window when a soft voice asked. He turns his head to look at his ‘unwelcomed’ visitor just to find Euijoo slightly fidgeting by his table.
“Oh.. N-no.” He managed to stutter yet another short and curt reply - good job Nicholas.
“Um, yeah. So I just noticed that you sometimes look my way - like, I don’t know if there is something that I did that upset you. It’s good to know that it’s nothing like that.” Euijoo beams towards ending his sentence - something that makes Nicholas melt further. How is he this simple and kind? Nicholas let a beaming Euijoo stands next to his desk as he hides his face in his arms - pretending to sleep.
Days pass by and when you’re in the final year of high school sometimes time feels like a blur. From summer to that winter, Nicholas could not remember anything else but him stealing glances and studying his ass off to get a decent grade in the national exam - and of course with the occasional small talk by Euijoo.
The day of exam arrived and Nicholas had brought just enough convenience store food to keep him full during the break. But of course Euijoo had other plans, and maybe the plan that changed Nicholas from that day onwards. They were let out for break shortly after finishing the midday paper, and the first person Euijoo was trying to get to was - yes, Nicholas.
“My mom made extra food for lunch, do you wanna share?” His face actually lights up - yes like those dramas with halos and glitters, that was quite literally how Euijoo looks in Nicholas’ eyes.
“What?” Nicholas mentally reprimands himself - is he incapable of responding normally to Euijoo but one word sentences, ever?
“I want to share it with you, if you don’t mind.” Euijoo has this faint blush on his cheeks - for whatever reason Nicholas couldn’t figure out because he is already short circuiting since Euijoo started talking.
Nicholas nods as an answer - great, now he is non-verbal. But the two of them made their way to the school yard, sitting at one of the benches as Euijoo laid out his food. It was freezing cold, but somehow Nicholas felt warm and fuzzy inside. Seeing Euijoo's full rounded cheeks as he savors his food makes Nicholas giddy - Byun Euijoo is a beauty.
They completed the exam close to dinner time, and Euijoo yet again came towards Nicholas. He wanted to run, but that would be too rude since Euijoo has not meant any harm - except that he makes Nicholas giddy and adore him even more.
“Are you going home? Do you wanna hang out, since we’re done with the exam?” Euijoo suggested - his excitement is apparent.
“No, I’m going home.” Nicholas did not ponder on his answer even for a second longer and slung his bag across his shoulder as he made his way to the exit. But one expression that stayed with him that day was how disappointed Euijoo looked. He did not know that the very expression will keep coming after him. He should have known it by how his heart churned when Euijoo's smile dropped.
Nicholas made it a point not to meet anyone up from school after they graduated - for the better or worse. He thinks that if he denies it hard enough, his feelings would fade or turn into nothingness. He was wrong, very very wrong, because his heart squeezed yet again when he knew Euijoo furthered his study overseas - worthy of his excellence, truly. And the same feeling was there when he met Euijoo at the park this evening - he is as beautiful and mesmerizing as ever.
When Nicholas snapped back to reality, his eyes felt hot. He buries his face into his hands, trying to steady his breathing. Would things be different if he said yes to Euijoo then? If he knew five years later his heart will still ache this much thinking about Euijoo - he should probably have said yes. Maybe, just maybe this time around he could do something, or everything, differently. All he needs is one chance. He sighs out, eyes staring at his mundane ceiling.
“Euijoo, just one chance.”