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"Mr. Milverton, I know that it doesn't feel good, that you have no mood for it." Ruskin said slowly while he gave his employer a worried look. "But you need to eat something or you will lose the rest of your strength."
He watched Mr. Milverton who was pale and seemed to be so fragile as he was lying in the bed, covered with a blanket - like even a careless touch could break him. Ruskin's stomach churled for the thought of what if he doesn't get better soon. They didn't know how, but unfortunately, Mr. Milverton caught some serious stomach disease. Ever since then, he didn't have a hunger, he didn't even crave his favourite foods, and if Ruskin tried to feed him, the stomach contents came back almost immediately. The doctor gave him a medicine what could help, but Mr. Milverton couldn’t even keep that down. The situation made Ruskin really worried. He was aware that if he can't make Mr. Milverton eat and drink something soon, his body will just keep getting weaker and can't fight the disease anymore. Which means that he can...
Ruskin didn't let his mind finish the thought. He loved his employer from all his heart and he was determined to keep him alive. Without him, he didn't want to live. So Mr. Milverton needed to heal.
And for that, it was inevitable to get food and liquid into his stomach.
"Please, sir." Ruskin desperately begged his employer. "You need to eat, even if just a little."
He saw that Mr. Milverton's eyes opened. The faint golden gaze looked up at him. Ruskin's heart started to ache as he remembered that days ago, how powerful and how sparkling these eyes were. Now they were weak like he was looking at a different person.
Mr. Milverton opened his mouth and quietly answered.
"You know that I can't keep anything down."
The sentence was like a painful stab to Ruskin, but he didn't give up. He raised the bowl and showed it to his employer what was inside. A colorless mass which didn't remind of any normal food.
"Sir, I made something light specifically for you." He tried to sound cheerful to not let Mr. Milverton lose his faith in him. He was determined to convince his employer. "It has no taste, no smell, absolutely nothing. It would make you feel like you are not even eating. But it would still be enough for the first round until your stomach can handle more."
Ruskin hoped that Mr. Milverton will not turn down the food. He needed his cooperation. He knew that if he forcefully fed him, he would definitely end up vomiting everything out. It was also horrible to imagine that he ever needed to come to this. Forcing Mr. Milverton to eat and making him suffer.
He waited for his employer's answer impatiently. Mr. Milverton stayed silent at first, then he just shrugged his shoulders.
"If you think that it can help."
Ruskin smiled. It was a small victory but it was better than nothing. He gently helped his employer to sit up in the bed and make his back lean to the backrest. Mr. Milverton had no strength to sit on his own anymore or even hold his head. Ruskin needed to put his hand under his chin to keep it in position while he sank the spoon into the mass.
"Open your mouth, sir." He asked in a tender voice. Mr. Milverton obeyed, his gaze was soulless when Ruskin put the food into his mouth. He could feel that even swallowing it was hard for him. Ruskin caressed his throat a little to help him. He sensed when the Adam's apple slightly moved. Mr. Milverton swallowed the food.
Ruskin didn't reach for the bowl again, first, he just waited while he was praying in his mind. He hoped that the food wouldn't come back, he hoped that this time, it works. A minute passed and nothing happened. Ruskin let out a relieved sigh and with a new wave of hope, he raised the spoon to continue the feeding.
But what he was afraid of happened.
Mr. Milverton started coughing. It soon turned into gagging. Ruskin quickly put down the bowl and positioned the other man so the vomit would not block his gullet and freely come out. He saw that the mass he just managed to swallow flows down on his employer's chin and makes the blanket dirty. Ruskin kept holding Mr. Milverton while the tears wetted his eyes from the disappointment and the fear. He failed... again.
When Mr. Milverton let everything out, Ruskin made him lie back in bed.
"It is fine, sir." He tried to comfort him. "We will try it again later."
He tenderly wiped down the saliva from his employer's mouth, wetting his lips which were dry and cracked. Then he cleaned down the bed while he tried to awaken his hope again. He can't give up on Mr. Milverton. He needs to continue trying.
He heard that Mr. Milverton suddenly let out a sigh. His mouth moved like he was trying to speak. Ruskin leaned closer so he could hear the whisper.
"I told you that I can't keep anything down."