Chapter Text
It is late fall in Resembool, maybe even early winter, and the air is crisp and breezy and the pair are walking back from town. Ed had grown about six inches since coming home last spring, and he and Winry were returning from town after picking up his new red wool winter coat.
The coat had been a process. In times past, Ed would simply gather the material, clap and transmute the fabric to his liking; but, that wasn't an option any longer. To acknowledge his new life, he wanted a statement piece that allowed him to embrace the old ways while still retaining his independence (and lack of taste). Unfortunately, his pickiness had irritated everyone involved because what should have taken only three days ended up as a six-week process.
Ed was more particular about the color of the boiled wool than the shepherd's wife cared for, so much so that she forced him to sit and stir the barrels in the dye barn until he was satisfied. His hands stained a variety of reds—burgundy, vermilion, maroon, and so on—for days on end that Al was convinced Ed had inevitably murdered someone in self-defense for how stupid his coat requests were. The most likely victim Al assumed was the town tailor, who had called the house irritated to complain to Granny about her most fastidious household resident more than once. "It's just a coat!" The tailor whined into the phone line.
"Believe me," Granny muttered, "He's this annoying about everything."
Ed wanted custom black skull buttons shipped in from a curio-store he passed once in South City. Ed wanted the thread for stitching to perfectly match although at this point all thread had been standardized and there's only seven colors to choose from, kid. Worse, Ed wanted a style of jacket that hadn't been fashionable in Amestris since 1845 and to find the sewing pattern for such a design was beyond difficult. "I swear, Mrs. Rockbell, if he has one more condition to this thing, I'm going shred the mock up in front of him and strap him on top the engine of the East City train." Granny affirmed that she also supported this plan.
One way or another, on the cusp of the chill creeping over the mountains and into the valley, Ed finally had his coat.
Winry, who, along with the household and the entire town, knew the saga of the coat, had to admit he looked great. He was walking beside her, twisting left and right with his elbows up or his hands down, seeing how the fit of the jacket matched his movement, and after more increasingly silly moves, like doing a cartwheel for heaven's sake, he shoved his hands in his pocket, turned on his heel and walked before her backwards. He grinned with all his teeth.
"I didn't think they could do it, but damn, it's awesome!" Ed beamed. He shimmied his shoulders in the coat. "It fits perfectly. Almost like I made it myself."
Winry, who loved clothes more than anyone, thought it looked great and said so.
He nodded satisfactorily. "I know it looks great. I designed it, of course. No one will look as cool or kick ass as me, and I think I can still fight in it."
Winry rolled her eyes. "Why will you be fighting at all?"
Ed chopped out to the side with one arm. "Who knows? Someone tries to burglar us, or maybe I need to fight off a wild bear, or something. I've done weirder things." Then he stuck his tongue at her and fell back by her side.
She cocked her head and looked at his profile.
The air was a bit colder than usual and the tip of his nose was slightly red. He was grinning to himself with his hands still shoved into his pockets, and after another five steps he started to hum.
She returned her focus forward again, admiring the rolling hills of pasture that obscured the entire route home. She'd probably walked this road one million times over the course of her life and the missing horizon always captivated her. What lie on the other side of that hill? How far does the sky truly go? Where is the end of what she has ever known and the beginning of things she has never dreamed?
The sky was bright blue with no cloud in sight and a cool sun hung just above the tree line to the west, slowly descending behind its canopy and eventually over the mountain ridges, night falling in its wane earlier and earlier as the days crept toward solstice.
They were ten minutes from home, three hills over and a right turn at the of end the road. Other than their feet skidding against the dirt road, only the low tones of Ed humming the tune she suddenly recognized marred the silence. The song played on the radio every Friday after the evening news. It was catchy and a bit prettier than the songs he usually liked, but everyone in the house agreed there was something real special about this one.
She glanced back up at him and he caught her eye, turning to skeptically furrow his brows at her, before turning forward again and continuing his rhythm.
Winry smiled to herself. "I love you."
Ed slowed to a stop, the humming silenced, and stared off into the distance for a second. He thought he heard what she said but after running nearly one thousand scenarios quickly through his head, he figured that only one thing seemed logical and that was to doubt what she said.
He turned to her slowly. Winry's blue eyes were wider and rounder than usual as a flush of pink spread across her nose. He watched her eyebrows knit together as she studied him back. That look—Winry obviously said something unexpected and unguarded and honest and a mistake.
Ed felt the oxygen leave the room—the atmosphere even—and his eyes widened in realization. His mouth gaped open independent of his brain and he found himself nearly yelling from shock. "What did you say?"
Winry frowned. Ed looked horrified.
"Ok, right," Ed added quickly, too quickly, the words spilling in a jumbled mess of consonants and vowels that may not be in the right sequence, as he mumbled it was time to get home and set off immediately at top speed without another word.
Winry stood stunned as she watched him go. Once he made it over the next hill, she closed her eyes and sighed deeply. "That moron." She muttered.
Ed spent all evening avoiding Winry's gaze and followed Alphonse on his heels from room to room so not to be left alone with her. It annoyed Al so much, he physically shoved his brother away from him before slamming the door of the water closet and clicking the lock loudly. "Go. A-way." Al called out.
Alphonse was unsurprised to find his brother braced against the wall when he came out ten minutes later.
Winry gave Ed space. The ball, she figured, was in his court and she didn't need to serve him another shot. When she got home shortly after him, she shed her coat and gloves and sat at the workbench picking up her latest project. By the time she headed to bed, the door to the brother's room was already closed for the evening.
She resumed her life the next morning. She made her coffee and stood on the porch as she let Den outside for the first time that day. Grandma was already preparing breakfast on the skillet as she walked into the kitchen. After the two women finished their meal, they went into the workroom to began their day. Neither boy had made it downstairs for breakfast once they had come back home half a year ago, so it wasn't obvious yet whether Ed was continuing to hide from her.
Between lunch and closing time, whenever Winry left the workroom to use the toilet or grab a part downstairs, she could feel the pointed presence of a stray blond antenna poking out from behind the corners. Ed was following her, she could tell, but unless he could muster up the courage or whatever he needed to come talk to her, she wasn't going to crawl to him. She rolled her eyes again.
Ed relaxed against the wall of the stairwell as Winry walked back up the stairs from the basement. She didn't see him there, lost in concentrated gearhead thought, he assumed. He wasn't sure what to think, and he had already spent a considerable amount of time thinking about it, but with this new understanding of Winry, Ed just simply wanted to see her.
The idea seemed suffocating to him. Ed loved her like a sister, or a cousin, or something. However, since he didn't have either of those relatives, he wasn't sure what that version of love actually felt like. Ed grimaced at the realization that he'd only be perpetuating stereotypes of small town residents by thinking the thoughts he had about Winry Rockbells as similar to those someone might have for their cousin…or, he gulped, their sister.
Ed wanted command of this. He had spent all night working through what he understood about his feelings with her and they were simple. Obvious. Easy. He walked through his little mental checklist, adding a new bullet upon each review.
He knew he cared for her; he decided as he scarfed down dinner in her presence and immediately cajoled Alphonse to spar with him in his new coat.
He knew he liked her, like, enjoyed her company; he acknowledged as he laid in bed, Alphonse snoring steadily in his sleep as one of his lanky arms hung awkwardly off the bed and flattened the palm against the floor. Ed tossed a spare pillow from behind his head under his brother for when he'd inevtiably fall later in the night.
He knew she was his closest friend—really his best friend—who had seen him at his worst and he'd seen her at hers too; he thought after drinking his third cup of coffee peeking into the workroom to check on the ladies.
He knew…he would never let anything happen to her. Ever. He told himself as he folded laundry in the living room while Alphonse read out a letter he got from Mei that morning.
And he loved her, alright; he realized as he heard her climb back up the stairs.
When that last thought entered his mind, he felt like he had been hit in the chest with cannonball. He set his hands upon his bosom, pressing gently against his heart as a method to soothe the rapid beating from his shock.
A familiar iciness crept along his veins and through his lungs as the strong emotion settled over him: loving Winry Rockbell was terrifying.
Winry Rockbell was the only person in the whole world who could see straight through him, and she was the only one whom he didn't mind if she did.
And she loved him.
It wasn't that he didn't know, he had just been too scared to act. And now that he actually knew, he had to make a choice on how to respond and nothing seemed right. Ed rarely proactively thought about doing nearly anything, relying rather on his stray thoughts and gut feelings to dictate his decision. However, this was….for all intents and purposes…really important and it was also the thing he was worst at: intimacy.
The understanding that he loved Winry too was slowly dawning on him. As he was lost in his thoughts, pressed against the stairwell, focused concentration on a bookshelf filled with more boxes of screws than books, his mouth drooped open and he could feel that stupid look of recognition cross his face.
He loved Winry (and not in the sister/cousin way—probably).
What could it hurt if he told her what he now just realized? Not right now, of course not, it'd have to be in private, somewhere romantic, memorable, special. He couldn't go over to her and blabber it right in front of her right now even though every single cell in his body screamed that that was a good idea. That'd be too inane, awkward, weird. Granny was also right there. He closed his eyes and rested his head back against the beadboard paneling. He needed to make sure she'd understand, firmly believe in him and make sure…
"Please stop stalking me."
He opened his eyes and looked down. Winry stood before him, slightly bent forward with her hands cupped behind her back. She smiled knowingly at him.
"I'm not doing that." He protested crouched against the wall looking absolutely suspicious.
She grinned bigger. "You've been following me around all day. You don't have to say anything. I know you feel the same way too." She leaned back, bringing her hands forward and gripping his arms to help pull him to his full height. "Just tell me when I least expect it, ok?" She squeezed him gently with her fingertips as she met his eyes.
Ed stared at her dumbstruck. Winry Rockbell was the most perfect girl in the whole world; he should just do as she says.
“I love you.” He choked out breathlessly as he held onto her gaze.
Her eyes brightened as she smiled wider. She briefly closed her eyes as she bit her cheek before meeting his gaze again. "Is this what you'd call an equivalent exchange?" She simpered.
Ed barked out a laugh. "Yeah, I guess if you put it that way."