Chapter Text
Whatever you write on your body will also appear on your soulmate’s. Be warned, however, reveal yourselves before your destined times, you will be promised a tragic end instead.
Soulmate. Your destined one. Your other half.
The words have been etched on Suhwan's core for as long as he could remember. From the beginning, it's always been there, always been waiting for him. People live their lives finding their purpose and for most of them, it’s finding your soulmate.
Ever since he chose to take this path in gaming, those words have gotten progressively louder and more urgent.
Some days, his soulmate sends him small scribbles on his palms. Love letters, he likes to call them. As soon as he sees the ink forming, his body welcomes the familiar radiating warmth from it.
But it’s not all the time he receives those.
Nights before important matches, he often finds frowns marking up his skin. The ink leaves a cold sharp bite on his palm. Unlike the warmth his body welcomes, this one always sends a wave of anxiety down his spine.
They’ve been frequent recently. Always appearing to him past midnight. He deduces it must be a supporter of GENG or at the very least, of LCK. Fans can sometimes tell which matchups are going to be close or an absolute stomp.
In tonight’s case, GENG is up against their rivals, T1.
He stares vacantly at the wide blank space above him as he waits for the usual nervous scribble to form on his skin. Afterall, T1 are the kings of unpredictability. And if there’s a matchup in the LCK that is bound to keep the fans on the edge of their seats, it's a T1 vs GENG series.
Any minute now, a frown should start appearing on his left palm.
He thinks back to the first mark he has ever received was when he was about 3 or 4 years old. It came to him as a surprise. An incomprehensible doodle magically appeared on his tiny hand. He vividly remembers the scream that echoed throughout the playground near his home. He thought a ghost might have haunted him or perhaps he’s been cursed by an evil monster. His mother simply giggled and lifted the crying Suhwan to her lap.
“It’s just your soulmate, sweetie,” she hushes him as her soft caresses graze the ink on her son’s hands. “Theyre just sending messages to you.”
A warm pair of hands wiped his tears, “Soulmate?”
“A soulmate is someone destined to cross paths with you. To fall in love with you.”
His eyes beamed with urgency to find his person. “Like you and daddy?”
A faint pink flush spreads across her face. “Yes, exactly like me and daddy.”
“When will I meet them?”
“Its not yet time to know.”
“But why can't I meet them now?”
“It’s just simply not the time. Be patient, okay?”
A pout quickly formed on his face as he balled his fists, thinking of how long he had to wait for that day to come.
It's been more than a decade since that conversation and he's still wondering.
The sensation of a cold sharp tip pressing on his palm interrupts the memories of his mother.
:(
Without even looking at it, his breath hitches to the painful familiarity of the pattern. Over the years, they’ve made up a secret language only they could understand. Sad faces for when one is having a bad day, smileys for good days and reassurances, stars for achievements.
There’s a phase when Suhwan would get random doodles like dogs or koalas (he assumes they’re koalas with how horrendous the drawings are.) Sometimes, he wonders why he doesn’t receive those anymore. As weird as they may look, those were his favorite ones.
Tonight, his soulmate sends him a frowning face. It doesn’t get easier, knowing your soulmate is feeling restless and not being able to go up to them and offer a hug. But he has learned how to reach a compromise. A silent promise that one day, he'll be able to comfort them without the separation of the fates.
He scoots towards his night stand and opens a drawer filled with different markers and pens. To call it a habit that he always makes sure he has spare pens with him is an understatement. It’s a testament to this lifelong devotion of hopeful exchanges between him and his soulmate.
He grabs one of the black ball point ones and aims the tip to the blank area beside it.
:)
You’ll be okay, he wishes, borderlining a prayer.
Only the ink stains will be reflected on your soulmate’s body but he likes to think his comfort reaches them too. Because what is love if not transcending the rules of reality?
“I’ll play well later,” his whisper fills the cold silence of the night.
~~~
Faithful as always, he fulfills his promise and GENG secures a victory.
They celebrates the victory with their routine–team dinners and going back to the dorm for a little more celebration before passing out. His hyungs always go overboard with the drinking, especially his Jihoon hyung who severely overestimates his alcohol tolerance.
He’s already dressed in the signature checkered pajamas and ready to tuck himself to bed when he suddenly feels a mark forming. He sits up, mind still groggy from the lingering alcohol in his body.
It seems to be forming a heart.
A smirk slowly forms on his lips. Of course his soulmate would congratulate him. The match today was one of the best. He always makes sure to put in extra effort when his partner sends him a nervous scribble the night before. He tucks himself back to bed but immediately realizes the pen is still going. His eyes shoot open as fast as the line that cuts through the heart on his palm.
What does that mean? A broken heart?
One would think he’d be getting a congratulatory doodle but it’s nothing like that. It’s one of those stingingly cold marks that he’s never learned to get used to. The calls, the engages, the kiting. They were all perfectly timed and calculated. So why does the ink feel brutally cold on his skin?
The drowsiness evaporates from his body as he clutches his chest. GENG won, so why?
There's only ever been one occasion where his soulmate drew a broken heart: The night after the 2022 world’s finals.
He remembers it vividly. The silencing boom of a fallen nexus. The roaring cheers in the stadium faded as he watched one player from T1 bury his sobs on his palms. Ryu Minseok. He fought hard until the very last second. It was a series that had a devastatingly beautiful conclusion.
That night, the first and only broken heart appeared on his hand. He thought it might have been a coincidence at first but today, his theories finally click.
A broken heart only appears when T1 loses a big match. His breath stops as he tries not to put the pieces together. Does that mean his soulmate is a supporter of their rival team? The signs do align so that must be it. But that would also mean he’s the reason his soulmate is upset right now.
The shattered piece on his palm not only stands to reflect the sadness of his partner, but also his.
He doesn’t know how to process this sudden realization. He starts to reach out for his spare pen on his bedside, the only thing he knows how to do right now. But he doesn’t write anything with it. It hangs in the air, its ink drying as it awaits the movement of its holder. Should he say sorry? Why should he be sorry for winning a competition?
The tip presses hesitantly on his skin as if mirroring the uncertainty of Suhwan.
He really doesn’t mind that his soulmate is supporting another team. But the more he repeats it over and over his head, the more the sinking feeling within him grows. He doesn’t want to admit it but a small part of him does feel jealous.
Why can’t you just look at me? The selfish thoughts claw its way out of his buried thoughts.
Then there’s this part of him that feels guilty for causing that shattered heart.
He draws a heart beside it. Small, gentle, and sure.
Despite a full blown war going on in his chest, one truth stands above it all–he loves his soulmate more than any of this.
“It’ll be alright.” he hushes his palm repeatedly, almost like a lullaby. He closes his hand and keeps it close to his chest. The whole night, he never not even once let go of the embrace.
If his soulmate is indeed a T1 fan, his best chances of crossing paths with his soulmate lies with T1 as well. He just has to get good enough to the point where they're always matched together. But then again, the fan might hate him for beating their favorite team.
As the rest of 2024 passes by, GENG has a great run and just as Suhwan thinks everything is going too smoothly, he’s hit with a news that he will be moving to the LPL next year.
He’s so near so why now? Why is the universe suddenly throwing him under the bus?
~~~
Your marks will fade the farther you are from each other.
There's always been doubts with that statement but true to it's prophecy, the marks do stop appearing when he moves to the LPL. He feels the familiar pressing sensation of a pen dipping on his skin but he doesn’t see anything take form. He scribbles something back, hoping that would be enough. But the constant rain of the familiar sensation that follows for what feels like months is proof otherwise.
:(
:(
:(((
He can't see them but his mind has every scribble they've ever drawn together memorized. He learned the meanings of those shapes long before he could even learn to read in school. Those shapes aren’t mere figures to him, they’re permanent engravings on his soul.
There isn’t much he can do but trace his fingers on the invisible marks over and over everyday. Each helpless stroke a wish that he could feel the radiant warmth the ink always emits when it materializes.
At first, Minseok thinks that maybe his soulmate is just busy when he decides to draw a frowning face on his palm in the middle of the night and he doesn’t get a reply. He usually does this way past midnight so it’s not unnatural if his partner is already asleep.
The second time it happens however, panic settles in when he doesn’t see any ink marking him back. The familiar touch of the pen is there on his skin but no ink.
Before the anxiety could be too much to handle, he gets up, flailing towards his phone, researching it immediately.
The marks become less visible if your soulmate is far away. He reads the headline in one of the posts from a site. People are sharing their own stories in the comments about how theirs would often come and go.
I got so scared when my marks stopped appearing I thought my soulmate died.
One day my marks just disappeared and it took 6 years for them to go back.
He reads through the stories of other people and strangely finds comfort in them. Maybe this is normal and he shouldn’t freak out. It’s only the beginning of the season so he should probably divert his attention somewhere else. Like his job.
And for a while, he does focus on his career. It really is bearable until his first difficult match comes.
:(
He’s only able to feel the familiar response writing back. This has got to be some sort of torture. The areas of his skin where the ink is supposed to be flares up whenever he feels an invisible smile form.
Seriously, why did you have to move away? He scowls at his own skin. There isn’t anyone to blame but he has to take it out on something or else the frustration will swallow him whole.
The seasons pass painfully slowly and Minseok thinks that’s the only big change happening in his life. But life has got one last surprise for him--Roster changes.
There's been too many emotions bottled up inside him the past months of the year. With the world’s almost over, he’s hit with sudden news from Minhyung.
It hasn't been made public yet but the adc is planning to switch teams.
Back then, Minseok told Minhyung first that he would be joining T1. Maybe it's a cruel joke of fate that Minhyung finds himself telling Minseok that he will be leaving T1.
If there’s anyone who has to hear it first, it’s him.
Minseok doesn't take the news lightly. He takes it quietly instead, everything he’s not.
A deafening silence fills the room when Minhyung finally breaks the news to him. For the first time in their careers, the genius support doesn't react on time. Even someone like him who side-steps engages effortlessly can’t seem to form a reaction to the words that just left Minhyung’s lips. His breathing is slow but its anything but steady.
As his partner for years, he knows Minhyung better than anyone. Which is exactly what hurts him because he cant find fault in his decision. He cant just jump at him and start screaming and begging. It hurts that he understands.
“Minseokie?” he asks, terrified that if he looks now, he might take back his decision. “I’m s–”
“Please. Dont try to apologize.”
“But I…hurt you.”
He lets the silence speak for him.
If any word slips from his mouth right now, he might end up hurting Minhyung. And he doesn’t want it to hurt more than it already does. He knows that leaving T1 isn’t an easy decision to make. So as his heart shatters like their promises, he bites down as hard as he could.
“It's alright, Minhyung-ah. I understand…”
As the world’s best support, he has to live up to that title. And sometimes all you can really do is stand behind your teammate as they lunge forwards, giving them all the buffs they might need. So, he does that. He smiles back at Minhyung before he leaves the room, making sure the reassurance comes through.
Try as he might, he can't be angry at him forever but just for tonight, he lets himself. Not because Minhyung has decided to leave but because of the future they could have had together will never be materialized.
That night, he doesn't sleep. He just stares at his empty palm for a while before deciding to draw a broken heart.
The invisible response scribbling back to him just adds salt to the wound. His tears burst out of his eyes when he doesn't even see the comforting response he's seeking. Today isn't the day but maybe soon (hopefully soon), he’ll get to make up with Minhyung and let him go gracefully.
And true to his word, he eventually learns to. Of course Minseok being Minseok, he has to send off Minhyung with a heartfelt message.
Thousands of memories all boiled down to one sentence: Thank you for all the years, Minhyung.
~~~
The constant pestering of the coaches has been making Minseok’s week all the more miserable. He’s seen the thousands of comments flooding the new T1 announcement and the fans have been waiting for an answer. Who’s the new adc?
Every time the question lingers a second too long in his mind, arrows of ice shoot straight through his chest. But these cold shards melt to the memory of a certain rookie from GENG.
That guy's dangerous, his brain warns him every time he comes to the bottom lane. But the precaution only makes him excited, not wary. Every flash forward from GENG’s adc spikes his adrenaline and he finds himself craving the feeling after every game. Despite the enemy pentakill, Minseok can only stare at his screen with destructive captivation.
What would it feel like to be his support?
The question is as fleeting as it is predetermined.
“Peyz.” He announces as he opens the door of the meeting room.
The coaches look at him for a few seconds before connecting the dots.
“Please, at least look at the other cho–”
“I don’t have to.”
As soon as the coaches see the look on Minseok's face, there’s an immediate understanding that no amount of persuading that will be enough to change his mind.
When Suhwan lands in Korea, he immediately gets struck with a belongingness that doesn't just stem from the fact that he’s back in his home. China is beautiful. The looming buildings, the bustling streets, and of course, the coffee shops he still dreams about. But the wind there never brushes his face the way he wants it to nor do his steps feel familiar when walking back to his dorm.
It's a good day. Warm and windy, just how he likes it. He takes one long inhale of the sweet crisp air before he reaches deep in his pocket to get a pen he got from the plane earlier.
:)
His face mirrors the grin he had just drawn. It spreads wider across his face the moment he feels a familiar pen tip make contact with his skin. He’s been deprived and parched of that familiar radiant warmth from his soulmate. Today however, the distance between them finally comes to a close and his heart can beat rhythmically again.
The whole ride to the T1 dorms is full of anticipation and restlessness in the car. The amount of times he’s been fixing his bangs in the backseat of the car is almost laughable.
He’s going to be playing for T1. His soulmate’s favorite team. If he’s going to have a chance to meet his soulmate, it’s definitely there. The perfect place to be.
After a few more adjustments to his hair and clothing, he finally arrives at the dorm. Although he hasn’t been there yet, something about the place is already reeling him in. Together with his overpacked luggages, he makes his way up to the new life awaiting him.
His interaction with T1 members are mostly just their countless matches on the rift. Besides those, there’s only minimal exchange of words between them. Well, except his Hyeonjoon-hyung, who’s been his teammate before.
The elevator opens to the floor of their living quarters and he almost jumps back in surprise when he sees someone waiting for it to open. It’s Minseok.
“Oh! You’re here already?” Minseok exclaims, his eyes wide with unexpectancy. “The others aren’t here yet to welcome you! Ah, maybe I should call them?”
He sees his hyung frantically scroll through his contacts. “Ah, it’s okay. I’m just settling in. I think I’ll be meeting them in the HQ later anyways.”
“I guess you’re right.” He puts his phone down, “I’m Ryu Minseok by the way. It’s really nice to finally meet you.”
This isn’t the first time they actually meet. Minseok doesn’t even need to do an introduction since Suhwan has been watching him and the team for years now like a devoted follower. Even when playing against him, his guard always seems to crumble down when he lays his eyes on the support’s ever-radiant smile. It’s a global ult at this point.
“I’m Kim Suhwan.” He bows politely, “I can’t wait to play with you, hyung.”
“Let me help you with your bags.”
Before he could even say anything, Minseok is already dragging his luggage towards their dorm.
“We’re going to have dinner later together, okay? It’s customary to welcome new members to some barbecue.”
Suhwan nods as he follows his hyung instinctively.
~~~
Everyone is polite and welcoming as expected. Hyeonjoon is the first to greet him and the others follow naturally. It feels unreal to him, seeing Sanghyeok not emit his usual intimidating aura in competitions. They’re teammates now. But even seated next to a living legend, his eyes only search for that radiant smile earlier. Maybe it’s just Minseok’s typical energy, but he swears his smile is like a familiar warmth to him. Like something he’s known for his whole life.
“Suhwanie,” Hyeonjoon pulls him away from the trance. “I’m getting a bit jealous here. Why is Minseokie getting all your attention? I thought you’d be more excited to see me.”
“W-what? I am excited to see you, hyung.”
He picks up a drink, “You say that yet your eyes still haven’t left him.”
Suhwan finally snaps out of it. “Ah, it’s just…I just–I–”
Hyeonjoon drinks with a smirk forming underneath.
“He’s cuter than I last remembered!” He hisses at his hyung.
Hyeonjoon almost chokes on the drink, trying to gulp down his laughter.
“What are you two talking about there?” Minseok interrupts. “You could at least share with the rest of us what you’re laughing about.”
Suhwan’s face burns up and his vocal cords fail him.
“We were just talking about his goals this year, Minseokie.”
“Ohh..And what are your goals, Suhwanie?”
Suhwanie. There is no way his voice will work now. He looks down, in an attempt to hide the crimson hues painting his face.
“He said he wants to take home all the trophies this year.” Hyeonjoon saves him.
His hyungs are suddenly silent and their gazes now fall on him. It takes a second or two before the cheers amongst them burst.
“Don’t worry, Suhwanie. Let’s win them all together.”
He finally lifts up his head, meeting the support’s gaze. There it is again, that familiar radiance.
He smiles back. Flashes of future victories whisper like promises to the duo locking eyes.