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"Excuse me! Excuse me, someone!"
The bustling voice of a person distanced my every footstep. Either they were really slow, or they could not catch up to my very large strides.
… Or maybe I was just ignoring them on purpose until now.
I turned around. I raised an eyebrow. A kid, here? And this one didn’t look in shape either — it had green rags for an outfit and messy blonde hair like they just came out of a fight against a bear. Or even worse. Just the thought of that made me run a shiver across my spine.
And out of all people, it decided to come to me. Me. The tall, menacing woman with many teeth from beasts I collect as trophies and a sledgehammer behind my back.
This couldn’t get any worse, when I noticed that the kid was constantly tugging at my pants leg. Which made me groan and stop straight.
“Hey,” I called out to them. “Don’t you have a parent or some to take you places? I might not be the one you need.”
“I-I don’t know! I just know that I escaped that wicked laboratory with my brothers and that letter almost made me trip!” The child cried.
After hearing that specific word, letter, I stopped altogether.
“What did it look like?” I asked them, my interest now suddenly piqued.
“It was a sort of invitation I think? It said I had to come to the… projection room or something.”
“The projection room… exactly like mine said,” I unfolded my own letter with a cunning grin. “Well, you might be in luck today, kid. It looks like we’re both crossing paths. Whaddya say we go there together? I’m badass, but I’m not just an ass. I wouldn’t drop a kid when I see one.”
The kid beamed at me and agreed pretty quickly.
They’re better off with me than with anybody else, honestly. Everyone looks so weird here.
Just before entering this complex, I fell upon a group of gingerheads that were all posing like they would for a magazine. Still, their aura looked really menacing… I preferred skiddadling away.
And then, right as I cross the door, there comes some scurrying at my feet.
”Hey! Watch where you’re going!”
A voice shouts at me, but so tiny and high-pitched I barely can hear it. I look down — and small, toon-ified people rushed out of my reach. I can’t hear what they’re talking about, probably something about crushing their dough… little gingerbread men? Now that’s new. They remind me of Maddie’s weird creatures in a way (I know who you are).
And now, here I am with a kid that looks so miserable, I could’ve thrown them in a washing machine for a quick wash.
Okay. I wouldn’t go as far. Maybe just in a bathtub.
“By the way. I don’t think I’ve caught your name,” I tell them politely. “What’s it?”
“Oh! I’m Ka—”
Before they can answer, I feel myself bumping into something with full force. Or rather, someone.
This woman looks like she straight up popped out of a far west movie. The hat, the boots, the guitar, the bandana… the everything. And when she turns around, I am expecting some sort of insult, but instead, she apologizes.
“Haha, my bad, my bad! It’s just that I’m trying to go somewhere, but this place is huge! I’m a little bit lost here, you see?”
“You’re probably as lost as we are, ma’am,” I reply dryly. “D’you know where you’re heading?”
“Well, I was looking forward to finding the projection room… I was told to be there after my friends and I received a strange letter from Grimace knows where! I assumed it was one of those portals that sometimes appear in my region, but then, I ended up here, with a pretty confusing map!”
“May I see?”
The lady hands me her map, and I give it a quick look before deadpanning at her.
“... The projection room is on the right, next turn.”
“Wow! You are so witty! How did you figure this out?” The kid beams at me. Again.
“Eh, let’s say that I’ve had my fair share of maps to open,” I roll my eyes before handing hers back. “You’re welcome, by the way, uh… miss…”
“Oh my goodness, what was I thinking!” The lady steadied herself on her boots, before stretching her hand to me with a cheerful smile.
“Howdy! My name is Coraline Barcheor-Tretchy, but it’s best you keep the Coraline bit in mind.”
“... Okay?” I shake hands with her, half-reluctantly. “And I’m Sonja. Sonja Swiftyswing.”
“Thank you for your help, Sonja! I hope we meet again soon!”
“Uh… aren’t we going the same direction anyways?”
“Oh, how silly me! Let’s get going, then!”
Coraline laughs heartedly, before taking the lead. I sigh before tagging along with the kid next to me.
The walk to the projection room was actually longer than I imagined it to be? It felt like the corridor leading there kept winding and winding over… or maybe was it just an illusion of my own mind and I just wanted to go home already.
“By the way,” I began, addressing both of them. “D’you know what we’re supposed to do here? Like, yeah, we go to a room, it’s cool, but… then what?”
“Gee, if only I knew! I believe we are going to assist a talk of some sort? A speech, maybe?”
“I hope not, god. I’m terrible with speeches.”
Two minutes later, we made it to the front gates. As we crossed them, we were struck by a view none of us expected to see.
People and creatures of all kinds. All sitting in the room, chatting. It all looked like they came from their own little fairytale — one almost looked like a jellyfish, there were rabbits, cats, bugs… at least, I would have said that if it didn’t look like humans that cosplayed like those animals. Almost.
I found the odd group of posers there who were talking to each other in hushed voices. The band of little gingerbread people who recognized me. I came to them and bowed down profusely at them for almost crushing them, which they were keen on accepting.
“I never expected there to be so many tall Cookies!” One all dressed in pink spoke.
“I… I believe that the only Cookies are resting on this table here, Milady,” another one with long red hair replied to her.
“Are you there to eat us?” A third one with an eyepatch asked me curiously.
“No? Y’all are lucky I don’t have a sweet tooth or something. I would’ve shoved all of you down my gullet otherwise.”
I rolled my eyes before leaving them livid at their table. After a few strolls, I saw someone wave at me. I suddenly gained a smile as I recognized them — my teammates! I rushed to high-five them.
“I was wondering where you guys went!” I exclaimed.
“Soso! Who’s this kid with you here?” Veronica asked.
“Oh, don’t pay them mind. Just a random kid I saw that needed to be there as well.”
“I don’t believe you should just… stroll around with a child you don’t know much about.”
“And I don’t believe you should speak your thoughts aloud, dude.”
I waved at the kid to take a seat, which they did without being told twice. I crossed my arms as I looked back at my gang. All of them looked back at me with raised eyebrows, which furrowed mine.
“What now?” I groaned.
“Well, aren’t you gonna say anything?”
“About what?”
“Well, didn’t the letter specify anything about… you? Or your role here?”
… Fuck, I just remembered that I’m the narrator here. Well, that sucks. Does that mean that I really have to do this?
“Yes you have, Soso. C’mon, buckle up!”
Shut up, Maggie, was what I would’ve told her, but I decided to be polite, even just a little today.
Bracing myself, I walked to the front of the scene, clearing my throat. I ruffled in the back pocket of my uniform, pulling out the notes I had prepared.