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The ache in her stomach hadn’t gone away all morning. She’d woken up with it, and her immediate reaction was to turn over and seek comfort in her girlfriend - but her girlfriend was not there, which only made things worse.
Her one small saving grace was that Maya was due home before she left for work, and hopefully a quick hug would help. Except when she looked at her phone, Maya had sent her usual text to let Carina know she was out on a call - and it was sent not that long ago - she wasn’t going to be home in time.
Then her alarm went off, and she wanted to throw it across the room, but she resisted and reluctantly pushed the covers back and stood up.
Everything went wrong after that. She couldn’t find the shirt she wanted to wear, the milk had gone off, and the coffee machine wouldn’t work. By the time Carina had left the house, she was in an absolutely terrible mood.
And her stomach still hurt.
She was running late too, and then the morning had thrown her straight into a complex emergency c-section, so it was now midday and she still hadn’t had coffee, and it was definitely showing.
Finally getting back to her office, Carina flopped down into her desk chair, rubbing a hand over her stomach and willing it to settle. If anything it had got worse, and it was driving her mad.
Deciding the best course of action was to distract herself, she logged in and tried to get on with some admin. There was a lot to do - she was still catching up from her time off after losing Andrea. That worked, for a while, until a sharp twang from her abdomen ruined her plans and she winced, pushing her chair back and massaging the area. She was also getting warm, so she quickly shed her white coat and pushed the chair back a bit further so she could reach to open the window.
“Ridicolo, [ridiculous]” she spat out in annoyance. It was November, she had no reason to be warm.
When the knock came at her office door, she nearly threw the nearest stationery object at it. Instead she tried to ignore it, but whoever was on the other side was persistent and knocked again. Carina sighed before calling them in.
“This had better be good,” she mumbled to herself as the door opened, revealing Jo Wilson on the other side.
Jo walked in, shutting the door behind her and then turning back to look at Carina. “Oh, are you okay?”
The question annoyed her. “Of course, what do you want?” It came out harsher than intended.
“Uh, it’s just, Mrs Frobisher is getting quite distressed and wants you. I did try, but she’s not having it,” she explained.
Carina sighed heavily. The last thing she needed today was Kate Frobisher, but frustratingly the woman had decided to go into labour this morning, and for someone having their sixth child she sure as hell was acting like it was her first.
She stood up sharply, immediately regretting it when she went a little dizzy, but she steadied herself before slipping her coat back on (not that she wanted to, it was boiling), and made her way out, not even responding to Dr Wilson who was left behind looking somewhat confused by her senior’s actions.
All her energy went on keeping her cool in the room with Mrs Frobisher. The woman was ridiculously demanding, and not in a normal way. She seemed to expect some kind of VIP treatment because she’d had so many kids, but that was not how it works. By the end of the conversation her head was pounding - probably from trying so hard not to scream at her patient.
When she left the room she almost immediately ran into Bailey. “Carina! Have you heard from Maya?”
Had she-
Actually no, she hadn’t. Sometimes on a late call Maya’s phone would die, but she usually made sure to message when she got home. Carina cursed herself for not realising.
“Not since she messaged saying they had a call,” she replied. Bailey’s question had sounded panicked. Was something wrong? Had she missed something?
Fuck.
Her head was pounding, her stomach hurt more, and she was imagining every possible scenario right now.
“Have you not seen the news?”
What news?! This wasn’t helping, she wished Bailey would stop with the vagueness and just spit it out.
“No? Bailey what is going on?”
Bailey looked around, seemingly for who was around. It was a fairly busy corridor. “I think we should go to your office.”
She almost cracked then, but managed to hold it back. Arguing was only going to delay finding out what was going on.
They walked down to her office. Carina checked her phone 3 times on the way there, almost hoping she’d just missed a message - but there was nothing. She was shaking now, gripping her hands tight to try and hide it.
Bailey made her sit down, and Carina didn’t want to sit down, but she was still going with the theory of following instructions to get answered. She sat on the couch, leaning forward a little because that seemed to ease the stomach pain slightly.
“There was a large structure fire they attended, it’s out of district so we haven’t had any patients in, but the building had a partial collapse,” Bailey started to explain. Carina felt her breath hitch. “Some of 19 were inside, including Maya.”
She couldn’t stay seated. Carina stood up, immediately pacing. She grabbed her phone again, pulling up Maya’s contact, but Bailey’s hand reached out. “She won’t have it on her Carina,” she told her calmly. “They’ve managed to stabilise the area and a team is heading in to do search and rescue.”
“How do you- Ben, he’s okay?”
Bailey nodded, “he called me - they’re on rotated breaks. He asked after you, that’s why I came looking.”
“I don’t- I need to- cazzo,” she swore, immediately finding herself stress-rambling in Italian.
“Carina! Carina, look at me, you can’t do anything right now. They’re doing everything they can.”
Before she could respond, her office door opened suddenly and Jo came rushing in, clearly having run there. “Sorry, I’m sorry to interrupt, but it’s Mrs Frobisher, there’s a cord prolapse, I haven’t been signed off on emergency sections yet.”
That fucking woman.
Maybe there was nothing she could do for Maya, but she could save this baby, and right now she craved that sense of control over a situation.
“Okay, get her to the OR I’ll meet you there,” Carina told her, and Jo ran off again.
“Carina, you shouldn’t-”
She held a hand up to stop Bailey, looking back to her. “I’m the only one who can. You said it yourself, I can’t do anything right now to help Maya. There’s nobody else here, it’s an emergency, I’m going,” she told her, starting to walk out and stopping at the door, slipping her white coat off and hanging it up. “If you hear anything, wait until I’m out. At least until then I can tell myself everything’s fine.”
With that, she left.
The surgery was successful, the baby was doing great, Mrs Frobisher was in recovery. Carina stood in the scrub room, now staring at an empty OR. Her stomach was screaming at her now. She had her hands on the edge of the sink, leaning forward and trying to breathe through it. It had gotten progressively worse through the operation, but she’d managed to hold it together until everyone had left the room.
And now she was hiding, because leaving here meant finding out how Maya was, and she was scared of what that news might be. Did that make her a bad person? Her girlfriend could be downstairs seriously injured, and she wouldn’t leave this room for fear of finding out the truth. It was selfish.
She had to move.
But she couldn’t.
“Carina! I’ve been looking everywhere, they said you were done,” Bailey walked in. “Have you not checked your phone?”
“I left it in my office,” she replied quietly, gripping the sink tighter, terrified of what Bailey was going to say.
“Maya’s here, in the ER.”
And suddenly every thought of not moving was gone. She rushed by Bailey who shouted after her to no avail. The elevator would take too long - she went straight for the stairs. It was 4 floors and she made it down in record time, ignoring anyone who she passed asking her if she was okay. All she could focus on was getting to Maya, and hating herself for not leaving the OR sooner. She could’ve been there when Maya arrived, helped her. She’d be scared, she hated being in the hospital as a patient.
She rushed down the corridor and finally through the doors to the ER, immediately spotting Teddy. “Where is she?”
“Carina-”
“No! Teddy just tell me where she is!”
She knew her voice was raised, she knew people were looking, but she didn’t care.
“I’ll take you to the family room,” Teddy replied calmly.
“I DON’T WANT TO GO TO THE FAMILY ROOM! I WANT TO BE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND!” she pushed past Teddy, looking around everywhere.
She was opening doors, pulling curtains back, trying to find where Maya was. Bailey had said she was here - not in surgery. She had to be here somewhere. She had to be okay. Carina loved her, she needed her, Maya was her everything. She'd got Carina through one of the worst moments of her life when Andrea died, and now Carina might be losing her too.
Her mind was spinning, especially when she reached the room where Andrea had been put in only a couple of months prior. It was empty, and it briefly made her pause.
“Carina?”
The one voice that could bring her back from crashing out.
She turned around slowly, seeing Maya standing beside Teddy - completely fine.
The tears were inevitable. She ran towards her, pulling her in for the biggest hug. “Maya I thought-”
Maya pulled back a little so they could talk, but didn’t remove herself from Carina’s arms. “I know, I know I’m sorry. I wanted to come straight up to you but they said you were in the OR and I needed to be here for the team - Jack’s in surgery.”
“Jack-”
Maya was in the family room. With her team. Her family. Maya was fine. She was here, in her arms.
“He’s out now, it went well, should be a full recovery. Carina, I’m okay, I promise. I just need to go back to the station and change.”
“Carina go with Maya, I’ll square it with Bailey,” Teddy told her.
She’d sort of forgotten Teddy was there, but suddenly Carina felt the wash of guilt. “Teddy I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted.”
Her apology was met with a sympathetic smile, “it’s okay, you were just worried, it's understandable after everything recently. Go home with your girlfriend, I think you both need each other right now.”
“Right, you’re going straight to bed,” Maya told Carina as they walked through the door to their apartment.
That was not what she was expecting. “I think that’s my line? You have been awake for a very long time.”
“And you've been through a very stressful event. Plus you're definitely in pain.” Maya told her. “What’s going on?”
Damn Maya Bishop for being able to read her so well.
“It’s just a stomach ache. I woke up with it,” she replied, not even bothering to lie. “It’s fine.”
Maya hummed, clearly not entirely believing her. “Bed. I’ll get a hot water bottle and some water and meet you there.”
“Bambina you-”
“Nope, you aren’t getting me with the bambina this time. Bed!”
Carina raised her hands up and walked to the bedroom.
She had to admit that the moment she got into bed, the relief was immediate. Her body clearly needed to lie down, it felt so heavy. Maya came in soon after, placing water beside the bed. “I brought painkillers, do you want them?” she asked. Carina shook her head, too tired to consider moving for that purpose. “Well they’re there if you want them.”
Maya put the packet down and then climbed in beside her, placing the hot water bottle over her abdomen before lying down and wrapping an arm around her. “Get some sleep my love,” she kissed her cheek. “I love you.”
And then before she knew it, sleep took her. The pain finally abated as she was back with her person, in their bed, and she was safe.