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Grantaire never expected to be loved back. The fire that would burn him from the inside was one that he knew would only pain him. So he suffered in silence. Well, more in whispers. It was impossible to keep his emotions completely secret. It wasn’t his fault really, it wasn’t his choice. If he had total control, he would sulk in his corner, nursing his bottle.
But it was never his choice. His emotions pulled at his chest until they broke the barrier between his heart and the world. The words slipped from his mouth, slurred but bursting with the truth. The deity in front of him shot iron daggers into his soul, pulling Grantaire’s heart down as they sliced him up. Even so, Grantaire smiled as the golden waves pulled him under once more, losing himself as he drowned.
Then came their end. It was a moment that was set in history and would be nothing more than that. They wouldn’t be remembered as freedom bringers, no, they would be mourned then forgotten. There was a distinct sadness to accept a fate you tried so hard to prevent. This type of sadness humanizes even the strongest of gods, bringing the divine down to the frail.
It was as though a sledgehammer had been taken to the marble pedestal that held Enjolras above Grantaire. The rubble held Enjolras down as Grantaire climbed. He pushed the stone away and found the man before him. In that moment, they became equals. They were one and the same, forced to accept the certainty the guns before them held.
“Do you permit it?” It was astounding to have such a complex question be put into such simple words. It held the promise of a future, or the impossibility of it. Enjolras smiled softly, stretching his hand out to reach Grantaire’s. He held up his flag one last time, standing true to his cause one last time. The gunshots rang but the pain wasn’t felt. The certainty of their pose exposed both men to death in an instant.
The world turned dark, the kind that while is extreme, leaves you feeling at ease. Then came the light. The world was born again, bathed in the radiance that the sun provided. Grantaire turned, facing Enjolras once more. The man in front of him wasn’t the man who was there in their last moments. He looked satisfied, content as he glanced around the world around him, drinking in the bliss of having reached a goal. Maybe they didn’t succeed in the world they just left, but the vision created by some school boys would thrive in the one they are in now.
Grantaire smiled, not cynical or envious, but genuine. The happiness radiating off of Enjolras was infectious, and he had chosen to allow Grantaire to be the first one to experience it with him. “Why?” Grantaire asked. Enjolras turned, his eyes gleaming as they looked into Grantaire’s. “Because, you believed in me, you believed in this. You didn’t believe in our success, you believed in my ability to achieve it. And for that, you will be here, right next to me.”
Grantaire fixed his eyes on the horizon, and for once, the fire didn’t burn.