Chapter Text
Isagi Yoichi had started life one step behind.
He had never had the chance to know his family. Some said they had died in a car accident, while others claimed that he had killed them.
He had always been known as a murderer. Everywhere he went, everyone blamed him.
Parents pulled their children away from him, leaving him completely alone. No matter how hard he tried, somehow, the blame always fell on him. He was always the scapegoat.
He abandoned his own identity just to earn the approval of others.
But no one cared.
As time passed, Isagi also began to stop caring about what others thought of him. He buried his kind personality and created an entirely new one. He learned how to defend himself.
Both physically and psychologically.
He earned the respect of others, but it wasn't enough.
His heart was still empty.
Until he discovered football.
Football was the first love of his life. It was the only thing that made him happy. The first and only thing that gave him a reason to keep living.
He grew alongside football, and he continued to grow even now. He adapted the spatial awareness that had troubled him during his childhood to the game, turning it into something far more dangerous than it had ever been.
By the age of only twenty-one, he was already at the top of the football world.
On his way to the top, he left everything behind and built a new life.
A life far more beautiful than his old one.
He gained teammates who respected him. They had fun together, threw parties, and spent time with one another.
Isagi accomplished things he had never even dreamed of.
Friends.
Money.
Fame.
Fans.
Isagi had managed to earn every single one of them through his own hard work.
Except for one thing—
Love.
The feeling of belonging to someone.
More than anything, Isagi wanted to experience it. He wanted someone who would protect him no matter what, hold his hand, and share a bed with him.
He wanted to be someone's first choice.
Isagi had realized long ago that no matter how many people he became friends with, he would never be their first choice.
Whenever he was somewhere, everyone would talk and laugh with him, but once the laughter stopped, their eyes would always turn toward someone else.
He would never be chosen.
And that wasn't the only problem.
Isagi was attracted to men.
When he first realized it, he had considered telling someone, but he quickly abandoned the idea.
He was a football player.
If this ever became public, everything he had worked for all these years would be ruined.
So Isagi kept it hidden.
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
No.
"When are you going to get married?"
Never.
"Do you want a daughter or a son?"
Neither.
Despite giving short and straightforward answers during interviews, there was no escaping the media.
And it genuinely pissed him off.
"You look like shit, buddy."
Alex William's lips curled upward in amusement as he looked Isagi over. There was a teasing tone in his voice, but the amusement underneath it was obvious.
"No kidding..."
Isagi muttered while staring out the window. It was a clear sign that he didn't want to talk.
Hearing the exhaustion in his longtime teammate's voice, Alex chuckled before turning his attention back to the road. As the silence between them stretched on, the sound of a horn and screeching brakes suddenly tore through it.
Alex glanced behind them through the rearview mirror before speaking quietly.
"The police are chasing someone."
Isagi merely nodded. He didn't like talking about things that had nothing to do with him.
Knowing this, Alex kept his mouth shut and continued driving. The rest of the journey passed in silence, until they finally arrived at Isagi's house.
Just as Isagi was about to open the door, Alex placed a hand on his arm, stopping him.
Isagi looked at him questioningly, but Alex opened his own door and stepped out of the car.
A moment later, he was standing in front of Isagi's door and took a deep breath.
You can do this, Alex...
He opened Isagi's door with one hand while keeping his other hand behind his back. Isagi gave him a questioning look before stepping out of the car. As Alex closed the door, an awkward silence settled between them.
Assuming Alex wasn't going to say anything else, Isagi turned around.
Alex quickly reached out to grab his hand—
But a scream suddenly froze him in place.
Everything happened too fast.
A man suddenly came running toward Isagi, screaming, a knife clutched in his hand.
Before Isagi could even understand what was happening, he found himself stabbed in the stomach.
Without a single expression on his face, Isagi fell backward, straight into Alex's arms.
The rose in Alex's hand slipped from his fingers and fell to the ground.
As Alex sank to his knees, he lowered Isagi onto his lap. He stared at him as though he had suddenly forgotten how to speak. Alex was too overwhelmed to say anything. A few tears slipped from his eyes while Isagi could only look at him with tired eyes.
That was when Isagi understood.
He wasn't going to survive.
In that moment, all the good memories of his life flashed before his eyes.
Alex was in every single one of them.
For the first time, Isagi smiled at him sincerely.
The way an older brother would smile at his younger brother.
Isagi looked at the rose that had fallen from Alex's hand before raising his eyes toward the sky.
He wanted to tell Alex something, but his embarrassment and the pain in his stomach kept him from speaking.
He forced his eyes back toward Alex.
He wanted to wipe away his tears, but his hand remained motionless at his side.
Before darkness pulled him under, the only thing Isagi could do was smile at him one last time.
A bitter smile.
A smile that told Alex he couldn't return his feelings.
Then everything went dark for Isagi.
"Yocchan..."
A gentle voice called out to him, making Isagi want to burrow deeper into his bed.
He buried his face into the soft pillow and mumbled, Five more minutes...
But then he suddenly remembered what had happened.
He sat upright and looked around the room in confusion.
He was in a child's bedroom.
"Come on, Yocchan. Do you really want to be late on your first day at your new school?"
When his eyes landed on the woman standing beside his bed, he felt himself tense. His hands curled into fists at his sides as he felt his body temperature drop. The woman, seemingly unaware of his tension, pointed toward the wardrobe.
"Get changed out of your pajamas. I want you dressed by the time I come back."
Without saying anything else, the woman left the room.
As Isagi stared around the room, his confusion grew with every passing second.
He could feel his heart beating faster as he took a slow breath.
Where was Alex?
Had he been kidnapped?
Shouldn't he be dead by now?
After remembering what had happened, Isagi instinctively touched his stomach.
But he felt nothing.
Nothing at all.
He lifted his shirt, and his irises widened slightly.
Where had his abs gone?
And why was he so small?
As he got out of bed, he realized that his body felt completely wrong.
Everything felt wrong.
He approached the full-length mirror in the room, unaware that he had been holding his breath. Only after forcing himself to calm his breathing did he finally look at himself in the mirror.
CRACK!
The moment the mirror shattered, Isagi snapped back to reality.
The mirror had already broken into countless pieces.
Fragments scattered across the floor, and he could see that a few of them had scratched his legs.
He didn't care about the pain.
Instead, he looked down at his hand.
Fresh blood flowed rapidly from his clenched fist. The smell should have made him sick, but to Isagi, it was proof that this was real.
"Yocchan? Is everything okay?"
When he heard the woman's voice again, Isagi answered without turning toward the door.
"Yeah. İt's nothing"
Before heading toward the wardrobe, he needed to wrap his hand.
For now, he grabbed what he assumed was a sweater that he'd thrown onto the floor and wrapped it around his hand. He knew it would hurt later, but he didn't want that woman to see it.
He hated showing his weaknesses to others.
And yet, at the same time, he could feel a strange affection toward that woman.
Strange... This is the first time I've ever seen her.
After putting on what he assumed was his school uniform, he looked himself over.
The uniform fit his body perfectly.
A white shirt beneath a navy blazer, paired with a black tie. Black trousers and polished leather shoes.
Isagi paused for a moment after putting everything on.
Are children really supposed to wear this when they go to school?
The uniform felt incredibly strange to him. He was probably attending a private school.
The thought made Isagi let out an amused, mocking laugh.
But as he remembered his previous school, the smile on his face was replaced by an unreadable expression.
Before leaving the room, he carefully kept his expression neutral and pulled the sleeve of his blazer a little farther down.
He couldn't let anyone see his injury.
I wonder if there's any bandages in the house...
As he walked down the stairs, the framed pictures on the wall caught his attention. There were countless baby pictures. Isagi assumed they belonged to him.
He had never had any childhood pictures, and since he didn't like looking at himself in mirrors, he had no idea what he had looked like as a child.
He could tell the pictures were of him only because of his hair and eye color.
As he continued looking at the photographs while walking downstairs, the delicious smell of waffles reached his nose.
He turned toward the kitchen and saw the same wom—his mother humming a song as she cooked waffles.
"Yocchan, aren't you going to say good morning to your father?"
When Isagi turned his head away from his mother, he noticed his father sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper.
The kitchen was designed in an American style, so the living room was easily visible from it.
As Isagi walked over to sit beside his father, he merely nodded. His father, Issei, let out a dramatic sigh before ruffling his hair.
"Are you really going to settle for just a nod? I'm hurt, Yocchan..."
Issei continued complaining while Isagi merely rolled his eyes.
The sound of the television mixed with the noise of cars outside as the Isagi household remained filled with a comfortable silence.
The smell of waffles, olives, and various other foods lingered in the air.
The Isagi family had a warm atmosphere.
An atmosphere Isagi had once believed he would never have.
Isagi was always careful to keep his emotions under control.
He never shouted at others when he was angry, nor did he jump for joy when he was happy.
He hated displaying his emotions in front of other people.
It made him feel wrong.
Powerless.
Weak.
Whenever he saw his teammates' families supporting them in the stadium, he never reacted.
All he did was leave the field.
During moments like that, he felt as though something inside him was breaking.
Something that could never be repaired.
Something that could never be replaced.
"Yocchan, come on! The food's going to get cold!"
Isagi snapped out of his thoughts and looked up.
His father had already left his side and was now sitting beside his mother. He raised his eyebrows and looked at Isagi with an amused expression.
"Someone seems awfully excited about his new school."
As Isagi approached the table, he nodded.
His mother looked at him and smiled with a mixture of affection and slight exhaustion.
"Of course he's excited. He practically begged us to let him attend the most prestigious school for youth football in Spain. I'm actually surprised he can stay this calm right now."
Hearing this, Isagi's eyes widened in surprise.
He had expected to attend a private school, but he had never imagined that it would be in Spain. As Isagi became lost in thought, he made sure to keep his expression neutral.
The most prestigious school for youth football. This will help me develop this body faster.
Isagi was grateful to them for this.
Japanese football was, at best, terrible.
If Isagi had to start all over again in Japan, his development would be much slower than he expected.
As he looked at them, Isagi lowered his head and focused on the food on his plate.
While listening to his parents talking in the background, he felt as though something inside his heart had finally fallen back into place.
Isagi knew he shouldn't feel this way.
He shouldn't get attached to them.
And yet, he already knew he was going to become dependent on their affection.
He knew he would seek the family he had always longed for through them. They could give him the one thing he had desired most as a child—
The love of a family.
It felt as though Isagi's heart and mind had entered a war against each other.
But the winner had already been decided.
As the Isagi family enjoyed their breakfast, the atmosphere remained peaceful. While his parents talked about the news, they tried to include him in their conversations as well. Isagi wasn't much of a talker, so he usually settled for nodding in response.
Even so, there were moments when even he couldn't stop himself from smiling.
"Ohh~ The time has finally come, Yocchan."
After checking the time on his phone, Issei looked at him with a warm smile.
Isagi was lost in that smile when he suddenly felt himself being lifted off the ground.
"It's time for school now. Go surprise them all with that brain of yours, Yocchan!"
Isagi normally should have been uncomfortable with this.
As a child, he had always hated other people touching him. He would push them away or say something harsh whenever they tried.
He was supposed to rebuild those walls again.
But as he looked at the expressions on his family's faces, he felt as though he belonged here.
He wanted to make them laugh.
He wanted to make them proud.
Isagi buried his face against his father's shoulder and closed his eyes.
He could feel his father moving, but he couldn't find the strength to lift his head.
As the voices around him gradually grew more distant, Isagi felt his eyelids becoming heavier.
Maybe having a family isn't such a bad thing after all...
"Yocchan! Time to wake up, sleepy prince."
Isagi rubbed his eyes and yawned. He squirmed around like a cat before making sure to look around his surroundings. He seemed to be in his father's car.
As he listened to the sounds coming from outside, he had to force himself not to fall asleep again.
When he noticed his father getting out of the car, he slung his bag over one shoulder and stepped out as well.
The moment his feet touched the ground, Isagi could already tell that this was no ordinary school. As he looked around, he couldn't help but feel excited. It was several times larger and far more impressive than his previous school.
The school's architecture had a Gothic style. Cream and burgundy were the primary colors used throughout its design. The main building stood in the center of the campus. Two corridors connected the main building to the gymnasium and dormitories.
Since the corridors used pillars instead of walls, the students' voices could be heard all the way from the courtyard.
The school grounds were just as impressive as the buildings themselves. The gardens were lush and green, and there wasn't a single piece of trash anywhere. The sound of water flowing from the fountain in the center blended with the students' voices, creating an almost melodic sound.
The longer Isagi looked around the school, the more new details he noticed.
When his father took his hand, Isagi followed him as they began walking.
As they passed through the school corridors, no one paid any attention to Isagi.
Only then did Isagi truly become convinced that he was in a completely different world.
At his old school, whenever he entered a corridor, the atmosphere would immediately grow tense, followed by whispers.
Isagi had a feeling that he was going to like this place.
When they entered the principal's office, his father quietly closed the door behind them.
The principal smiled at them.
It was a smile Isagi would bet everything he had was fake.
"Mr. Issei. It is an honor to have you here."
As he watched his father and the principal talk, Isagi stood silently where he was.
"Why are you looking at me?"
Isagi had known he was being watched ever since he stepped into the room.
His father was too focused on the principal to notice this person. Although Isagi wasn't particularly eager to turn around, his curiosity got the better of him, and he turned to look at the boy's face.
The boy looked slightly older than him, perhaps by two years.
He was tall and more muscular than an average child, so he was probably involved in some kind of sport.
His white hair took on a slightly golden hue under the sunlight. But the most striking feature to Isagi was his face.
His blood-red eyes examined Isagi as though he were some kind of specimen, while his eyebrows were raised in obvious amusement. The smile on his lips looked strangely sad for something Isagi would expect to see on a child's face.
The scar on the right side of his face, resembling a cross, added another unique quality to his appearance.
To Isagi, the scar wasn't a flaw.
If anything, it was the final touch that completed the boy's handsome appearance.
The boy's eyes continued to scan him before eventually, the two of them found themselves staring directly into each other's eyes.
Isagi showed no reaction.
Instead, the boy's smile only widened, as though he were enjoying himself even more.
As forced as the smile seemed to Isagi, he had no intention of asking about it.
The boy approached him, stopping at a comfortable distance before extending his hand.
"Hello, little bunny. I'm Bunny Iglesias."
Isagi raised an eyebrow when he heard the nickname.
"Little bunny?"
Isagi looked at his outstretched hand with an amused expression before crossing his arms over his chest.
Bunny gave a quiet chuckle at the gesture but didn't withdraw his hand.
"If I don't know your name, what would you prefer me to call you, little bunny?"
Isagi gave Bunny a deadpan look that practically screamed Are you serious? before looking at his extended hand again. Eventually, he uncrossed his arms and shook it.
"I'm Isagi Yoichi."
After shaking his hand, Bunny pulled away and nodded.
"Nice to meet you, little bunny."
When Isagi realized he had no intention of dropping the nickname, he tilted his head to the side.
He was about to respond when the principal interrupted them.
"Bunny Iglesias. You're responsible for showing our new student around the school."
The principal narrowed his eyes at Bunny and lowered his voice as he finished his sentence.
"But don't even think about trying to escape your punishment. Once you're finished, come straight back here."
Bunny smiled at the principal, though he could feel his jaw beginning to ache from it.
If only I could kill this man.
"Of course, Principal Matt. Would I ever do something like that?"
The principal rolled his eyes before turning back to Issei and smiling again.
"Your son has been successfully enrolled in our school. I wish him the best of luck."
Or, in Isagi's interpretation:
We're done here. Now stop taking up my precious time.
After thanking him, his father gave Isagi one last smile before leaving the room.
Isagi followed him toward the door.
Once he stepped into the corridor, he closed the door behind him and decided to wait for Bunny.
He had figured that Bunny still had something to discuss with the principal, so he decided to wait outside. A little while later, Bunny stepped out as well and turned his eyes toward him.
After putting another smile on his face, he approached Isagi and gestured toward the corridor ahead.
"So, where would you like to start the tour, little bunny?"
Isagi let Bunny guide him around the school. After showing him the locations of the classrooms, gym, and laboratories, they stopped in front of Isagi's classroom.
Isagi was grateful that Bunny had thought to get his class schedule before leaving the principal's office.
When Bunny turned toward him, the smile on his face hadn't faded at all this entire time.
"And we've reached our final stop, little bunny."
When Bunny moved to put an arm around his shoulders, Isagi slipped out of his arms and moved to his right.
"I don't like physical contact."
Although Bunny looked surprised when he heard this, he didn't ask anything else about it.
"Haa... You're so lucky. I wish I could go back to my old class."
As Bunny stared at the classroom, he wore an expression Isagi couldn't understand. Isagi already had trouble understanding emotions, so he couldn't figure out what Bunny was feeling.
Realizing that Bunny wasn't going to say anything else, Isagi turned toward his classroom.
"Little bunny. You forgot this."
Just before Isagi could enter the classroom, Bunny shoved a piece of paper into his hand. Isagi turned around, but Bunny had already disappeared from sight.
After putting the paper in his pocket, he entered the classroom. Since the teacher hadn't arrived yet, the students were chatting and having fun among themselves. Some didn't pay any attention to Isagi's arrival, while a few turned to look at him.
Seeing an empty seat by the window in the very back, Isagi considered himself lucky and sat down there.
At his old schools, he always made an effort to sit in the back so he wouldn't attract attention. Sometimes, he got lucky and his seat happened to be by the window, and that alone was enough to make little Isagi happy.
As he took his bag out, he noticed two people approaching the front of his desk. A brief silence fell between them as he waited for them to speak. Finally, one of them cleared his throat into his fist and began speaking.
"Ahem... H-Hi... Can we be friends with you?"
The boy had a noticeable Spanish accent when he spoke. His English also sounded a little strange because he was nervous. Of course, Isagi wasn't someone who would judge him for something like that.
When he turned to look at the two of them, they were staring at him with what looked like stars in their eyes.
"...Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Did you accept our friendship?!"
Unlike the boy who had spoken earlier, the other one seemed much more sociable. His voice had gotten slightly louder as he spoke. Although Isagi found it a little irritating, he made sure not to show it.
"Uh... Fine. But don't make me regret it."
Isagi knew he would need partners for group projects. He could make use of the two of them for that.
He deliberately chose to ignore the little Isagi inside him who was happy about making friends.
After the two happily slapped their hands together, they held their palms out for him to high-five them as well. Isagi merely sighed in response and turned his face toward the classroom door.
Just as the two were about to say something in disappointment, their protests were cut off by a stern voice.
"You two. Are you going to sit down right now, or would you rather sit in the detention room?"
Realizing that the math teacher had arrived, they quickly rushed back to their seats in shock.
Isagi could already feel that they were going to get him into a whole lot of trouble.
Yet even as he looked at them, he couldn't help giving in to the feelings in his heart. They reminded him of Alex.
Isagi didn't want to remember him. Whenever he did, his regrets resurfaced and made him hate himself even more.
As he watched the lesson pass by quickly, Isagi struggled to concentrate.
He had never been good at math, and that was still true here. He wanted to go to the football club after just the first lesson.
Although he didn't show his discomfort on the outside, all sorts of scenarios were playing out in his head.
'How much longer until break? If I jumped out the window, would the teacher notice—'
"—Don't forget about the oral exam. The grades you receive will be reflected on your report cards, and your parents will also be regularly informed about your grades."
A shiver ran through the classroom because of the teacher's words.
When the teacher left the classroom with a sly smile, the atmosphere seemed even darker.
"Man... I already have a feeling this year's gonna be terrible..."
Theo sighed in exhaustion.
Caelus walked over to him and patted him on the back.
"This year is definitely going to be rough..."
Although Caelus spoke quietly, they both understood him and couldn't help agreeing.
Theo ran a hand through his hair, already looking like he had given up.
While watching them, Isagi took out his phone.
"Hey. What's your number?"
Both of them turned to look at him at his question.
After staring at each other for a moment, they both shot out of their seats and immediately took his phone, entering their numbers. Once they were done, the two looked at him as if he had just saved the world.
"We were waiting for you to ask that, Yoichi..."
Theo murmured, placing a hand over his chest. His previous mood had already completely vanished.
"For a moment, I thought you were never going to ask."
Caelus said this as he stood beside Isagi.
Isagi rolled his eyes at their dramatic behavior.
"You two are unbelievable."
"But you love us anyway."
"No."
"You broke our hearts, Isagi..."
"I don't care."
"Ouch."
"Ouch."
While they continued their dramatic performance, Isagi picked up his phone. As he typed in the number from the piece of paper Bunny had given him, he wondered when Bunny had even written his number down.
After saving the number to his contacts, he considered whether he should send him a message.
'Why should I care?'
With an indifferent attitude, he put his phone back into his bag and returned his attention to the friends in front of him.
"Which club are you joining, Yoichi?"
He answered Theo's question without hesitation.
"Football."
The two of them looked at him, seeming surprised.
"You play football?"
Caelus looked slightly uncomfortable. Isagi frowned at them before finally responding.
"Yeah. Is there a problem?"
The two immediately waved their hands, afraid they had given him the wrong impression. Isagi relaxed, and only then did they calm down.
Theo sighed before scrunching up his face as if he had remembered something.
"It's not that you play football. The captain of the football team is a troublesome guy."
The two exchanged a glance before Caelus took over.
"The captain is a mysterious person. Nobody knows his past or where he came from. He's usually talked about because of his talent in football, but his personality is terrible."
A confident expression appeared on Isagi's face as he looked at them.
"He can't touch me. You don't need to worry."
The two stared at him silently for a while before exchanging a look, seemingly impressed by his determination.
Isagi was now much more excited about the football team here.
And its captain.
'Let's see who you are, mysterious boy.'
The lessons after that passed relatively easily. Although Isagi didn't understand why the students here studied History, Philosophy, or Physics, he decided not to question it.
After agreeing to meet Theo and Caelus in the cafeteria during lunch, Isagi decided to go to the bathroom.
After taking care of his business, he headed out. Somehow, the walk to the cafeteria was smoother than he had expected. The absence of unnecessary remarks or stares felt strange to Isagi at first.
However, he knew he would get used to it eventually. He had always been better at adapting than normal people.
As he passed through the cafeteria hallway, a familiar head caught his attention through the window. Carefully quieting his footsteps, he approached the window and realized his guess had been correct.
"What are you doing here?"
Since the window was already open, he crossed his arms over his chest and looked down.
When Bunny turned to look at him, the expression on his face nearly made Isagi laugh.
It was obvious Bunny hadn't been expecting anyone. No matter how much he smiled, the air around him seemed to grow heavier, as though revealing his discomfort.
"Little bunny. How nice to see you here."
Isagi raised an eyebrow at him and grinned as if he were amused. Since he didn't particularly enjoy making people uncomfortable, he was only going to do one thing before leaving. He raised his hand, placed it on Bunny's hair, and messed it up while maintaining eye contact.
"You really have a sad smile, Bunny."
Without waiting for him to say anything, he turned around and continued on his way to the cafeteria.
As Bunny watched him, the smile disappeared from his face. His eyes darkened as his mind began making plans for murder.
'How rude.'
Isagi didn't turn around again. Even as the gaze boring into his back remained fixed on him, he simply kept his eyes on the path ahead.
Nothing particularly memorable happened after his encounter with Bunny. Once lunch break was over, the three of them returned to their classroom.
As the lessons passed by, time went faster than Isagi had expected.
After the bell signaling the end of school rang, the literature teacher glanced around the classroom.
"Before you leave, don't forget to fill out your club registration forms. Starting tomorrow, your classrooms will change according to the clubs you've officially joined."
After saying this, she handed everyone a form and left the classroom.
Isagi didn't need to think much about it. After filling everything out, he took the form and placed it on the teacher's desk.
While waiting for Theo and Caelus at the classroom exit, he could see his father's car through the window.
After the two left the classroom, they headed toward the school exit. There was a warm atmosphere between them. Theo did most of the talking, while Caelus and Isagi listened, occasionally nodding along.
When they went outside, they said goodbye to each other and went their separate ways.
As Isagi walked toward his father, he noticed that his father was looking at his friends.
"New friends?"
He had a huge smile on his face as he looked at him.
"Yeah."
As his father laughed and got into the car, Isagi climbed into the back seat.
"Our little Yocchan is finally socializing."
Isagi narrowed his eyes at him. Issei immediately covered his mouth as if to say he hadn't said anything, but Isagi could tell he was struggling not to laugh.
The journey home passed in silence as Isagi talked with his friends in the group chat. After the three of them created a group chat, Isagi eventually had to put his phone on silent.
As he read through their messages, they finally arrived home.
Holding his father's hand as he walked inside, Isagi was warmly welcomed by his mother.
After giving Issei a quick kiss on the cheek, Iyo picked her son up and carried him to the dining table.
"My little prince, you'd better be ready to tell me every single detail about what happened today."
Isagi could only sigh in response.
'This is going to be a long conversation...'