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The warmest hand in the world in his, Mika's heart kept fluttering in his chest. He and Shu didn't often get days like this, during which they could simply enjoy their time together. It was exceedingly rare for them not to use the smallest free time they had at their disposal to further their pursuit of art in some way.
Yet, that was what they were doing right now. The sun was shining, and along the path lined with blossoming flower bushes, birds were chirping. Pigeons were toddling by and pecking at the ground too, and even if those birds made for a less romantic settings, what was France without its pigeons?
Pigeons hadn't surprised Mika at all. On the opposite the sheer numbers of ducks in this park was astounding. They were everywhere, no matter where they went, and even when they couldn't see them, quacks always came in from afar.
"Kagehira," Shu said as he squeezed his hand tight and led him to a map of the park. "Where do you want to go next?"
"Mh…" Grinning, Mika squinted at the map. That park was absurdly big. They couldn't possibly see it in its entirety in a single day: not only was its surface larger than 100 hectares, but it had countless paths, one lake and several ponds, two rose gardens, several greenhouses for tropical plants… it even had zoo-like enclosures to welcome African animals!
Giraffes and zebras could be gazed at in the middle of a park, in France. It made no sense, but it was reality.
And naturally, that wasn't even the end of what could be done in that park. There were merry-go-rounds to hop on, pedal boats to lent, karts to drive… There even was a museum of contemporary art.
Perhaps they would have been able to do everything in a single day, a few years back. The situation had changed, though. Mika's body had changed. He tired easily now, and needed breaks much more often. He was in his early twenties. Sometimes, he joked that he already felt like he was in his sixties.
He certaintly commiserated about his plight with the two Sakuma brothers, on the occasion.
"The rose garden?"
"I don't believe that to be the best choice," Shu pointed out. "Look at the scale of the map. It'll take us a far bit of time to go there, and it's warm today. Can your legs carry you?"
Mika paused. His legs hurt, he couldn't deny it, but it was so distant that he had forgotten about it. The pain was low. Barely a hindrance, and it came and went. However… if he didn't manage his energy level well… it might spike. He couldn't just follow his heart randomly.
Mika sighed. "I guess it ain't the most strategical, huh…"
"It isn't,” Shu said softly. “Especially since I believe you also wanted to see the zoo, and go on the merry-go-round. It's right beside us."
"Ngah?! Is it?!"
Shu's brow furrowed and he tapped on the 'Vous êtes ici' mark on the map. "Kagehira, can't you read a map?"
"I can't read French, no," Mika grumbled.
"You can read it."
"I can sound it out. Doesn't mean I know what it means."
"Vous. êtes. Ici. What word do you not understand?"
"'Ici'?"
"Context should clue you in. What else could a map say—"
Again, Mika grumbled. This time though, he dragged Shu away from the sign. "Yeah, yeah, don't spoil our date with chidin'."
"Since when do my rightful critiques sour your mood?!"
"'M just bad at readin' maps, ya know that, even in Japanese. Ya know well that the worst grade I’ve ever had in PE wasn't even in anythin’ that requires address, it was in orienteerin’! I hadn't even seen that mark on the map…"
Shu snorted. "At any rate, which direction are we picking?"
"Ngah?!" Mika jolted and looked back at his boyfriend, panicked. "I— I— don't know?!"
"Well, then, be grateful that I wasn't half-bad at orienteering," Shu said before going back on their steps and leading the way once more.
"'M always grateful t'ya…"
Shu smiled, rubbed the back of his hand and kept walking. As always when they went on dates, Shu was simply stunning today. More than once, Mika had seen people eye him, and each time, it had only thrown oil on the fire coursing through him and tightened his hold on Shu.
Yes, Shu was terribly well-dressed, graceful and handsome. Yes, he was more attractive than any man on earth and anyone that might have crossed paths with him might have taken him for a model if they didn't know he was an idol.
Well, Shu was his. His to the end of the world and time, and utterly, genuinely uninterested in other people… in a romantic sense, at least. His creative drive could take him anywhere, even if always returned to his partner in the end. Mika grinned to himself, slipped one arm around Shu’s and held tight onto it as they walked.
"Kagehira, today's temperature is far too high for— Hold on, are you alright?" His hand moved to Mika's waist, and held him up. Immediately, Shu slowed his pace and shot him a worried look. "Do you need to sit?"
"Ngah?! No, no, I just wanted to hug ya…"
"Then don't," Shu said before taking back his arm. "As I said, we may only be in spring, but it's sweltering."
Frustrated, Mika sighed loudly but still let go. If Shu didn't want him to be too close, then, he'd respect his desires. They'd get plenty of time to cuddle in the evening at the hotel, where they had the AC. It was still frustrating, of course. Yes, they'd have time together to be affectionate tonight, but Mika wanted to be affectionate now.
Shu glanced at him, and a fond light in his eyes, he sighed and tugged on Mika's hand to pull him closer. "Ah, Kagehira," he said as he put his second hand on his cheek. Hints of his perfume reached Mika—as always, before departing, Shu had placed some droplets on his neck, clothes, and his wrists.
That flowery cologne would drive him mad, one day. It both screamed 'home' and 'love.' Mika hoped Shu wouldn't ever change it.
"I know what's on your mind," Shu whispered as he used his thumb to rub Mika's cheek tenderly. "Why don't you close your eyes instead of pouting, my dear?"
Mika's heart leaped, and knowing his boyfriend by heart, he tipped his head down and closed his eyes. Soon, he felt a gentle pressure on his forehead, followed by the characteristic, divine sound of a kiss, and he had all the trouble in the world not to leap at Shu's neck and drag him into the thickets lining their paths or the woods he knew to be a few minutes away. If they were safe from prying eyes, Shu wouldn't protest against his clinginess nearly as much. That made the woods a delightful, paradise-like place.
"I love ya," Mika muttered once he opened his eyes again. Shu's hand was still on his cheek, and he couldn't but nuzzle against it and gaze fondly at his boyfriend. Shu was so, so beautiful. He could lose himself in those confident eyes that looked at him with nothing but love, highlighted by Shu's red eyeliner of the day. As always, it was perfectly drawn, something which never failed to gather Mika’s admiration.
"And so do I. With all my heart.”
If he let out a quiet whimper, Mika still nodded and began to walk again, his hand simply in Shu's again.
Their visit of the zoological exhibit had Mika so excited, Shu was soon forced to hold formly onto his hand not to lose him.
He didn't mind all that much. Though Shu wasn't a fan of zoos by nature and thought that animals were at their greatest beauty in their natural habitat, and not in an artificial one, if it allowed him to be a witness to Mika's radiance, then, he'd go to as many rank, crowded zoos as his beloved boyfriend requested, even if the emptiness of the enclosures saddened him. The area in front of the giraffe shelter sported no green area. All that could be seen as concrete and dirt so arid that no vegetation could take root in it.
Ironically, the only lush plants were outside of the enclosure, beyond the blue strings that Shu assumed to be electrical barriers.
Still, Shu didn't regret having come. Not when Mika looked so carefree and light-hearted, and when his smile was lighting their paths.
The fact that his attention was much more focused on Mika than the exhibit doubtlessly was the reason why he looked away in search of a bench. Mika was still smiling and hopping around, but already, Shu could tell his energy was quickly depleting. His legs weren't as graceful and the shadow of a limp was beginning to hinder Mika's steps.
"Kagehira," Shu said, pulling Mika out of his contemplation of the flock of flamingos grating the sludgy (and smelly) green pond. "Let's rest."
"Ngah? Are ya tired already?"
"I'm not. You are."
"Ngah? I'm fine though—" Frowning, Mika stopped and slowly, he lifted his right leg to test it. "Ngheh?! How did ya notice before me?!"
"I'm your partner in art, and you're my muse. It follows that I know your way of moving down to its tiniest details," Shu said matter-of-factly, as if the very framing wasn't enough for Mika's cheeks to flush and for love to overwhelm him. "Do you want support to walk?"
"Ngah, 's fine! 's fine. They're just a bit weak."
Shu hummed. "Allow me to carry your bag."
"Uh-ah?! Thanks," Mika said as he slipped it off his shoulder and handed it to him. "That's super kind."
"That's the least I could do for you."
"I used t'be the one carryin' everythin'…"
"Circumstances have changed," Shu said before pulling Mika away from the crowd and guiding him to a free bench.
A free bench was a rarity in such a busy place. In the meantime, Mika gritted his teeth. It wasn't painful yet, or at least, not enough for him to describe it as painful. Yet, it already felt like his legs were being weighed down and trudging rather than walking was what he had to opt for.
As soon as they came near, Mika crashed onto the wooden bench and grumbled loudly.
"Ain't fair," he let out in between gritted teeth. "I was doin' so well today."
Shu hummed, sat down next to him and set their bags aside before twinning their hands. His gentle fingers, embracing Mika's hand, failed to appease the anger brewing in him. "You did, and we had a wonderful time together, didn't we?"
"I wanted it t'last more. We haven't seen half of the zoo yet, and barely any of the park. An' if this doesn't pass… no way we can go t'the museum today."
"We can come another time."
"We don't have all the time in the world. I gotta go back t'Japan in four days." Mika closed his eyes and repeated, pained, "Just four days."
"Lyon won't disappear. It has stood for centuries. It will be here for the years to come."
"I know, but…"
"I don't mind cancelling this. While I love exploring France, if I've planned something with you, then, we're doing it together. We’ve got time, Kagehira.”
A bit calmer, Mika hummed and set his head on Shu's shoulder, who was quick to wrap his arm around his back and pet his forearm and hand. "I love ya."
"I love you too. Do you want anything?"
"Maybe ma cream," Mika grumbled. "In a few minutes, if it doesn't look like it'll go away."
"Alright."
Suddenly exhausted in that weird way that sometimes sprung on him, Mika closed his eyes. He was so tired. It sucked. Minutes ago, he was perfectly fine (or well, fine by his standards), and now, all he wanted was to take a nap. He almost felt like Ritsu, even if he knew they didn't have the same illness.
Still… despite how weak he was feeling, resting on Shu, basking in the spring sun was pleasant. Both the sun and his boyfriend's hands were stroking him tenderly, and cradling him in their warmth.
Ah, he wanted to sleep so badly. He knew he wouldn't manage to, though. That weird weight hanging behind his eyes and slowing his body didn't always translate into the ability to sleep.
"Do you want to take a nap?" Shu whispered.
Children's laughter came from afar, drawing a smile on Mika's lips. He could hear them kick a ball, and run after it in the grass, birds were chirping… The sound of railways came, too, covering the ducks' quacks and the quiet sound of traffic a hundred of meters away.
Yes, this was nice. He was tired, but the setting was definitely nicer and livelier than another silent hotel room. The air was much sweeter.
"I don't think I'll be able t'fall asleep, unfortunately. I'm tired but not… that way."
"I see. Do not hesitate should you need anything."
"I know," Mika tightened his fingers around Shu's. "There are shops, here, right? They probably sell some coffee. I won't be against one when we move again."
"Alright. I'll bring you one." Shu's fingers moved and without tiring, they began to dance along his waist.
Minutes went by, and neither of them spoke. Rather, they each were enjoying the break in their own ways. Mika was focusing on the sounds he could hear and the tender affection he was receiving, and Shu was focusing on Mika and the beautiful sights nearby. Still, Mika stayed bitter. Frustration was leaving a bad taste in his mouth, and disappointment gnawed at him.
In the past, he would have been able to explore this whole park in a day. He had never been fit, that was true, and he put much more effort into staying healthy now than in the past, that was also true, but he had been abler, then. Years ago, he could devote his entire being to following and supporting his beloved mentor.
Now, he was slowing him down.
"Oshi-san," Mika whispered. He knew those thoughts were wrong, he really did. Besides, Shu had always been crystal-clear regarding his unconditional acceptance of his illness. He had promised to marry him. Shu didn't mind. He knew that. "Can ya speak, please?"
"Mh?" Shu paused, looked back at him and stroked his palm. "Any topic you favor?"
"What 'bout our plans fer the future?"
Shu lit up and pressed Mika against him. Smiling, he spoke softly as his fingers danced on his side. "How far into the future?"
Mika's hand moved and grabbed Shu's. Slowly, he guided their joined hands to his thigh, and soon, Shu flipped his hand over so their palms were together. "When we retire?"
"Is our retirement or our wedding what you want me to dwell on?"
"I think we shouldn't plan the wedding now, so maybe our life together?"
Shu hummed and rubbed his hand gently. "I see. Well, when we'll be choosing a home for ourselves, one thing I want is a garden or at least a balcony. Having our breakfast in the morning sun sounds wonderful, doesn't it?"
"Except in winter, yes."
"In winter, we could furnish it so that we could huddle in thick blankets, a cup of chocolate or tea in hand. Imagine how beautiful we could make it with the right fairy lights. We could even try using your heated blanket, and watch the sunset over the city or landscapes surrounding our home."
"Would we have plants?"
"Naturally. I'm saving this for my old age, but I do hope to be able to create my own rose variety, one day."
His heart melting at the image, Mika could only smile. Suddenly, he couldn't help but picture Shu as an old man, his pink hair turned snow white and his hands covered in dirt while he took care of his roses. Old age didn't seem so frightening, not when he knew they would experience it together. Even if his illness worsened, joy would still find its way in their life.
"If we opt for having a garden, I'll build you a cozy space from which you'll be able to see it in its entirety. You'll only have to give me the design, and I'll see it through, and make sure that its beauty honors yours duly.”
Mika held back a snort. Shu wouldn’t ever change, would he? "I could help ya build it."
"Of course." Shu kissed his head and added, "If you wish to, my love. We'll find a way for you to contribute, no matter your state.”
As his heart fluttered, Mika squeezed Shu's hand. How could he ever doubt his partner's love, when he envisioned such a clear future for them both?
"Ya know," Mika eventually let out, bitter. "I'm a bit annoyed. I really wanted t'make the most of today."
Shu hummed, in that way that told Mika that he wasn't the least surprised by his words. Well, Shu knew him perfectly. He had probably guessed why Mika had suddenly asked him to speak of their future. "So your crisis doesn't seem to be easing up?"
"Not at all. It might impact tomorrow, too."
"We can spend a day together at the hotel. We haven't tested their hot tub yet, nor the new bubble bath solution we bought. I also remember you wanting to try a new kind of make-up style. I can assist you.”
"Sure, but I wanted to see this through." Tired even though his partner’s kindness was warming his heart, Mika closed his eyes. "I really, really wanted to. I felt so fine this morning."
Shifting slowly, Shu placed a tender kiss on top of Mika's head. "I know, my dear. Do you need to go back to the hotel, or do you simply need to be seated? If it's the latter, I have an idea that could still make it possible to fulfill your desires."
"Ngah? Do ya?" Mika said as he snuggled up to his boyfriend and melted into his arms. As always, Shu's arms felt so loving and safe. No matter where they were, no matter the thoughts clashing in his head or the fear or sadness…. as long as Shu held him tight with such a fond smile on the lips, then, everything would always turn out fine.
"I do." Shu grinned and stroked his back through Mika's thick jacket. "So, Mika,” he whispered. “What do you need?"
"I'm just low on energy. 'Sides, now I really want t'see what ya have in mind…"
"Alright." Shu kissed his forehead and then squeezed his hand. "I shall go, then. I'll be back soon."
"Wait, can ya bring me coffee while you're at it, please?"
"Naturally." Shu picked up his bag and slid it across his shoulder. "Do you want something to eat as well?"
"I ain't against it."
Shu hummed and knelt before Mika. Gently, he took his hand and brushed his lips over his knuckles. "I'll be back soon. Message me if it worsens, or if you need anything else. A change of plan doesn't bother me."
Smiling, Mika closed his fingers around Shu’s. He didn't blush from Shu's affection, not anymore, but it still made him feel so, so warm inside. "I know, I know! Don't worry."
His thumb dancing over Mika's knuckles, Shu gazed at him silently for a while, with that fondness that always made Mika want to leap in his arms and stay there for eternity.
"I love ya."
"I love you too," Shu said before letting go and stepping away. For his first steps, he didn't stop looking at Mika, but soon, his brisk steps carried him away and Shu disappeared into the crowd.
Ah. Mika was all alone now. He had no idea what Shu had planned… but since he was all alone, he was free to doze off for a while.
Just to be safe, he plopped his bag into his lap and wrapped his arms around it. He didn't exactly want to be robbed. Just as he closed his eyes though, his phone beeped.
As he picked it up, his phone fell again in his bag. Mika cursed. Somehow, he had become even clumsier as his health had degraded. When he was in a flare, everything just slipped out of his hands. He had broken a dozen glasses and plates… until Shu had bought him a set of plastic cutlery. It was humiliating, but at least, he didn't have to clean messes while being in pain anymore.
Mika forgot everything once he saw who had just texted him, though.
It hadn't been that long since they had rekindled their friendship, but already, Mika cherished it deeply. Mashu was very fun to be with, after all, and the text he had just sent him only confirmed that. It wasn't anything special, just a trendy meme, but Mika couldn't help but laugh. He really needed easy, stupid fun right now.
Before he could react, Mashu asked him for an update about his trip to France. He was asking for pictures, even, as well as if he was having fun.
Even as he typed his reply, Mika considered his answer carefully. Mashu knew about his health issues, like most ES idols of their generation, and he didn't need to speak about it with someone right now, especially not when Shu would be back soon… but Mashu was so easy to talk to. Perhaps it was because he was older than him, or because they had known each other as children, but it was as easy to unveil his issues to him as it was to Naru.
And Mashu had just asked him for a picture of what he was doing.
Fine, he'd tell him that he was having a flare. It was a perfect opportunity to highlight just how great of a boyfriend Shu was, after all, and frankly, while he didn't need to express his frustration towards his own body, he did need to pour that overwhelming love somewhere and Shu had just left.
"Are you really alright?" was all that Mashu replied to Mika's love-struck long paragraphs, however.
"I am! Don't worry, really! Oshi-san's having my back, as always."
"Will he return soon? It doesn't sit right with me to know you're alone in a foreign country while having a flare."
"Nah! It's good, really, don't worry! The flare ain't that bad. I'm just having a hard time staying awake. 's all."
"I see. Well… do you want me to entertain you? I can keep sleep at bay easily!" Mashu wrote with a few cheerful emojis…. followed by a few hashtags Mika didn't quite understand.
And so, "????" was all that Mika typed back. He wasn't even sure if Mashu had just made up those hashtags on the spot, or if they were supposed to echo current trends on social networks. Frankly, he didn't have the energy or even brain power to try to think about that currently.
His phone rang again. Thankfully, it didn't slip out of his hands again. It was a video call. Mashu was offering a video call out of nowhere. Mika's first instinct was to decline, but ultimately, Mika did the polite thing, and that was to pick up his friend's call properly.
Grinning and wearing earbuds, Mashu waved at him. He was wearing his practice outfit, and from the decor, Mika could pinpoint his location easily. That was one of the practice rooms in ES, no doubt about it. He'd have recognized those walls anywhere.
"Hey, why are ya practicin' so late? Ain't it 9 p.m in Japan? That’s real bad! Mashu-kun, ya should go t'sleep."
Mashu laughed. "Hey, I've offered to entertain you, not get scolded! So, what tricks do you want to see, Mika-kun?"
"Wait, tricks?"
Mashu hummed, and as he moved around and set his phone away from him, presumably on a tripod considering how high the view was, Mika saw that the room was empty. Mashu was alone.
Before he could process that and question his friend even further, Mashu had retrieved items from his bag, items that were too noticeable for Mika not to know what they were right away.
"Why are ya carryin' jugglin' balls around?"
"I'm usually not, but I was supposed to go on a variety show tonight." Mashu sighed. "They wanted idols to face each other with their 'special hidden skills,' and well, my opponent chose 'juggling' for us both. I was sure I'd win by a landslide, until I saw who I was against…"
"Ngah? But you're the best, there's no reason—"
Mashu laughed. "Of course, of course, but I also know that Hibiki Wataru is a talented man, which is probably why the producers of the TV show put us against one another. There are rumours about him being able to do anything." Snorting, he added, "I'm not even sure he'd have juggled with normal props tonight. He didn't, the last time he juggled on TV."
"Well…” Mika yawned. “Fer havin' spent time with him… 's true that he's impressive… An' he'd probably come with weird items, yeah…"
Shrugging, Mashu threw his first ball in the air, and that shut Mika right up. If Mashu was starting, and performing just for him like they used to do as children, and like they sometimes did nowadays, then, he didn't want to miss one second of it.
Juggling, acrobatics, thanks to him, despite how tired he was, Mika was captivated and didn't see time fly by. He was having too much fun, and though he was weak, he still did his best to cheer for his friend each time he performed a trick. His eyes were so heavy though… just holding his phone up in the air was hard. Mashu was helping, though. It was much easier to stay awake when he had someone with him than when he was alone, even if his trembling hands were struggling to keep that person with him.
A loud snappy huff right by his side almost made him drop his phone. Shu was a few steps away from him, and Mika hadn't even noticed him.
"I leave you for such a short time, and already, your eyes are on another man, Kagehira?"
"Ngah?! Oshi-san?!"
"Mh?" Mashu caught the five balls he had flashed one by one and hurried to his phone. "Itsuki-kun's back? Hello!"
Shu snapped his head to the side with another huff and sat next to Mika. He didn't even acknowledge Mashu's greeting… and greetings.
"Here, your coffee," Shu said before handing Mika his cup.
"Oshi-san, come on, say hi…"
Shu rolled his eyes, wrapped a tense arm around Mika and looked coldly at the other pink-haired man who was grinning at him. It almost was a scowl, at this point. "Good evening. You should return to your practice, and not dawdle."
Mika almost sighed. Shu was so bad at hiding his distaste for people. It was cute, but still, he really hoped that Shu would get along with his friends, one day. Arashi and him didn't get along. Ritsu… refused to get too close to him on the basis that he was best friends with his older brother. Shu hated Mashu, and visibly so. And as for Mayoi, Shu wasn't at ease around him.
That only left Jun, and they weren't close. Simply cordial acquaintances.
Still, his frustration melted away as Shu pulled him closer, in a way that felt deeply, deeply possessive. His frustration wasn't the only thing that melted away. Mika's insides burnt him, until nothing but his love for his partner was on his mind, and exhilaration overtook him… until fatigue came over again and pushed him to simply let Shu act as he wished.
"I was about to…" Mashu replied. Then, with a mischievous grin, he added, "You've had him for the entire week, though, and Mika-kun won't be back in Japan for a few days, can't I have a call with him for a few minutes? Besides," he added, this time in a much colder tone, "You're the one who left him alone in a public place when he's sick."
"Kagehira is—"
Getting a violent feeling of déjà-vu, Mika gathered his strength and stepped in, "Mashu-kun, I'll call ya back later!"
Mashu laughed and waved at the camera. "Sure. See you!"
The phone call ended, thanks to Mashu hanging up. As soon as his face disappeared, Shu squeezed Mika and brought him into his lap. Then, though he grunted from the effort, he lifted him into the air.
"Oshi-san?!" Instinctively, Mika braced himself against Shu and clung to his neck. It wasn't unusual for Shu to lift and carry him now, but each time, he couldn't help but be deeply moved. Shu, who for years had placed his aesthetics above anything, had taken the time to train until he could lift him safely. He hadn't cared about his muscles and frame growing thicker and needing to sew larger sizes or alter all his stage outfits to accommodate the change.
He hadn't cared. Or rather, he had seen that as an insignificant sacrifice in the face of making Mika's life easier, and safer. Mika had long tried to protest, knowing how costly such a change could be for his partner, but Shu had found an argument that was too good to counter. If they were ever caught in a fire, or an earthquake, or any situation in which running was required, and Mika was in a flare, Shu absolutely refused to leave him behind. Carrying him would make it more dangerous for himself, but he wouldn't leave him behind. Ever.
"This time is ours, Mika," Shu said coldly.
Mika hummed and as butterflies danced in his stomach, he couldn't help but pull himself up to kiss Shu's cheek. "Where are ya takin' me…?"
That's when he saw it. A red vehicle, which looked like a mix between a bike and a chair with a white, red-stripped awning to provide some shade. A pedal car.
"Darlin'," Mika protested hurriedly. "We had said that we wouldn't, those are ridiculously expensive—"
"I said no such things, you did. A single designing job will easily repay it. My dear," Shu said softly before putting him down on the seat without a steering wheel. The other one, Shu's, was occupied by a paper plate holding a waffle covered in chocolate spread. "You're worth any expense. Also, the waffle is for you."
Blushing, Mika fiddled on Shu's sharp collar. His fingers wandered on his brooch, set with a blue gem so eerily similar to his own eye. "But…"
"While I do respect your desires, don't expect me to never put my foot down. You're unreasonable, at times."
"I just like usin' the full range of my ability… I might lose it, one day."
"I know," Shu said as he stroked his cheek. "I know, but let's enjoy this, alright? It's better than heading back too soon, isn't it?"
"Nhehe, much better! I can't deny that. I'm just sayin' that I don't regret havin' tried doin' things the normal way."
Shu hummed. "Give me one minute to pick up your items, and then, we'll resume our stroll."
"'Kay!"
"And no phoning anyone."
Mika laughed and rubbed Shu's shoulder. "Sure, sure, I'll wait fer ya, don't worry."
Shu's absence didn't last long, and in the meantime, Mika didn't stop watching over him. Ah, Shu truly was so cute. He couldn't ever get over how much he loved those sensitive parts of his partner. Shu was confident, he loved boasting, and he knew very well that Mika wouldn't ever leave him, and yet, sometimes, that idea still left him in panic.
Well, Mika was the same. That was part of the reason why he never teased Shu too much on that matter… especially since he considered himself much worse on this matter. He loved that Shu also dabbled into silly jealousy and possessiveness, though. Oh, he loved it.
Snappy words echoing in his head, Mika giggled as butterflies swarmed through him. He'd never ever let go of that memory of Shu saying 'Kagehira is mine!'.
Never. It was too sweet, just like the waffle he was doing his best to eat. He wasn't hungry. When the fog grew thicker, eating often became the least of his concern. Hunger purely slipped out of his mind, and without an alarm or a loved one to remind him to eat, then, Mika could easily skip one or two meals.
Which, naturally, only worsened his condition.
Shu, though, always kept an eye on him during his flares. Even from France, he'd offered to eat together on video calls to cheer Mika up and help him to eat, if only a little. It didn't always work. It still moved Mika deeply that Shu tried to align their schedules when needed despite how difficult that could prove.
As soon as Shu had put their bags in their designated space and sat behind the steering wheel, Mika snuggled up to him. "Thanks a lot."
"You're welcome," he said before kissing his forehead. "Do you need anything before we set out?"
"Nothin' that I can't take while we drive around!" Mika smiled, delighted by the kiss, and squeezed Shu tight.
"Alright, that's good to hear.” Shu paused. “I'm not smelling the camphor of your cream. Did you not use it, in the end?"
"I don't need it if I can stay on a chair! Yanno I ain't s'pposed t'use it too much, so I'd rather keep it fer later if I really, really need it."
Shu hummed. "My dear?" he muttered, so quietly that Mika almost missed it with all the ambient noise.
"Darlin'?" Mika replied as he straightened up. As soon as he looked at Shu, a large smile spread across his lips. Shu was blushing, and god, he was so hopelessly cute… and his eyes were drilled into his lips. They absolutely were, and Shu wasn't any sneaky about it.
"I love you. And I apologize for my poor behaviour regarding your friend."
"Ah… I really wish ya two would get along, ya know?"
"I'm well aware. However… he has a way of getting under my skin. I can't bear him." Shu's hand moved to Mika's thigh. In response, Mika wrapped his arms around his arm and hummed.
"I'm all yers, though, ya know that…” Slowly, Mika dragged his fingers along Shu's arm. Then, eventually, he began to stroke it tenderly. “We haven't retired yet, but I'm as faithful t'ya as if we were already married. After what ya promised me, with how ya treat me everyday… how could I ever set my eyes on someone else?"
"I'm just…" Shu's eyes moved away, but they soon settled on Mika's lips again. Shu took a deep breath and said, tense, "I do not like the idea of someone waltzing in, and stealing your heart like a vulgar burglar unaware of the true value of their prize."
"They can't steal somethin' I've pledged t'ya years ago."
"You're right," Shu said coldly, so coldly that it set a fire in Mika's belly. He raised one hand to Mika's cheek and stroked it with his thumb. "They can't steal what is mine."
"They can't, darlin',” he whimpered. “They really can't—"
Lips met his with force. Mika almost lost his balance, but Shu's arms moved to cradle him.
God, perhaps ditching their day's plan wasn't such a bad idea, after all. Perhaps he did want to simply spend hours kissing his boyfriend and feeling his touch. A series of fireworks kept exploding in his body, so much so that he became even dizzier, but in a good way this time.
As their lips separated, Shu pressed their foreheads together. "You're mine, Kagehira."
"I've always been. From the moment we met, I've always belonged t'ya."
Shu's hands tightened on his waist, and quietly, he breathed out, as if those words were being softly lifted from him, "By God, Mika. I couldn't ever dream of a better partner than you. You are a gift from the gods themselves. Even a second gift couldn't pretend to overshadow you. Good Lord, you're so—"
Nghs bubbled out of Mika's lips, as violently as a seething ocean, so much so that he couldn't but interrupt Shu by pouncing on his lips. Shu meant those words heart and soul. The light and love filling his adorative eyes made that clear, and Mika knew just how intense and loud his partner's love was, but it wasn't the grand words that moved him to tears. No, it was much simpler ones.
Despite the situation, despite the hurdles, despite his stupid body, Shu wanted him, and no one else.
No, as a matter of fact, it wasn't that Shu loved him in spite of his illness. Rather, he loved taking care of him, Mika knew that well. It was much different from their days as foolish teenagers, but this was still something that Shu genuinely enjoyed and found peace in. He truly, sincerely embraced him whole.
Without a single regret.
"Darlin'," Mika whispered. "I love ya so much."
"And how dearly do I love you too, mon amour."
Soothed, Mika settled in his seat, and then giggled. "Oshi-san," he said, raising his fingers to the corners of Shu's lips to wipe them carefully. "You've got some chocolate on."
Shu snapped his head back. "Your poor table manners caused this!"
"You're the one who kissed me first!"
Pointedly focused on the path ahead, Shu began to pedal to propel the pedal car forward.
"Ya won't make me believe that ya hadn't noticed, yer eyesight is too sharp fer that. Did the waffle taste great?"
His cheeks burning as red as his favorite flowers, Shu spat out, "Keep such disgusting ideas to yourself!"
"Nhehe~ I'm takin' that as a yes. It really does taste great," Mika said before taking another bite and letting himself relax fully in his seat.
Grumbling under his breath, Shu quickly goaded him into another topic by praising their surroundings grandiloquently and emphasizing how their beauty only made Mika's own stand out more.
It was fruitful. Some things became usual with time, they didn't make Mika's heart pound as violently, but Shu's praise remained special to him, even if he received it every day now.
It was special and incredibly precious, he thought as he was finishing his cup of coffee. Coffee wasn't enough to lift his fatigue, but it gave him just enough energy to carry on for one hour or two. That was all he needed to enjoy the lake, the lush greenery, and the many sights of that park.
The indoor sections were best left for tomorrow, when walking wouldn't be as much of a struggle anymore.
As of now, as he was leaning on the front rail, Shu's silk scarf as a pillow under his chin, Mika could simply bask in the sun, and take in the beautiful sights while being rocked by his partner's beloved voice. He didn't have much energy left for today, that was true, but possibilities were endless. Shu's mind was creative, and had not such an easy solution been available, Mika trusted that he would have found a way all the same.
For the thousandth time that day, as they talked and bantered, they exchanged fond looks all while squeezing the other's hand, as well as many loving words.
Right. Illness of not, Mika did love his life. It was hard sometimes. It was tremendously hard, and sometimes, he just wanted to curse the entire world and God Himself. He was blessed, though. He had an incredible partner, and kind friends who deeply cared about him.
He was lucky. And as they drove along the lake and Shu's hand petted his hair, happiness fully extinguished the embers of the frustration that had threatened their day. Only a gentle warmth and a smile remained.