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The day never came. The one where Megan told Yoonchae that she had wanted her too. The only days that came were the ones of dissatisfaction.
After a long day of shooting the “Animal” performance video and watching the other girls get overly close to Megan, all Yoonchae wanted to do was go to her apartment and close her eyes.
Yoonchae obviously knew the other girls didn’t feel that way for Megan. She also, unfortunately, knew that Megan didn’t feel that way about her, but she still felt possessive of Megans touch.
There had been times when Yoonchae was totally convinced that Megan liked her. That dream was crushed just a few weeks ago.
~~~
“CHAE!!” Megan awkwardly ran over and hugged Yoonchae.
Yoonchae, caught off guard grabbed Megan’s waist. It had became a habit. She didn’t like physical touch that much, Megan was an exception.
Yoonchae would brush a stray hair from Megan’s face or hold her hand whenever a reason would arise. The other members just believed they were close friends. Even Megan.
“What happened?” Yoonchae squirmed excitedly.
“Okay, okay. So I got a call from Otis last night. He wants to go out with me tomorrow!”
Megan’s face beamed while Yoonchae’s fell completely. Her hands dropped from Megan’s waist immediately.
“You like him?” Yoonchae has heard Megan mention him before, she tried to forget about it.
Megan nodded excitedly and said something about her outfit for the date. Yoonchae didn't listen, she couldn’t. She was only thinking about all those times Megan would kiss her cheek, her neck, and the night she ‘forgot’ about. Had it meant anything to her?
She was all Yoonchae ever thought about.
~~~
Yoonchae rushed into her apartment and immediately slammed her head into a wall. What was wrong with her? She knew Megan was with him, yet all she wanted to do was kiss her until she couldn’t remember Otis’s name.
Yoonchae wanted Megan for herself. Nobody else.
The phone rang, it was Sophia.
“What?” Yoonchae flopped onto her bed, not caring about her clothes or her sweaty body on the bedsheets. All she could think about was Otis, God, how she hated him. He was okay, sure. He surely wouldn’t be okay if Yoonchae ever came in contact with him.
“You were so obvious today,” Sophia explained. The sounds that came from the phone were loud. She was driving.
A couple months back, Yoonchae lived with Sophia, she needed somebody to confide in. She mistakenly told her about her feelings for Megan. Now, she wouldn’t let it go.
“I’m not in the mood, Sophia. You know how I feel and you know I’m trying to move on. That’s all I can do,” Yoonchae grumbled into her pillow.
“I know, Yoonchae. I really do. I’m just worried. If your feelings become too much, you’ll just keep getting hurt. Try and get some sleep.” Sophia murmured. Her voice was soft and concerned.
Sophia did so much for Yoonchae. Yoonchae took her kindness for granted. “I love you, Goodnight.”
“Love you. Tomorrow 3 a.m. sharp! And… try not to think about her too much,” Sophia quickly hung up.
Yoonchae screamed into her pillow.
She scrambled through her favorite memories with Megan. A very special one came to her mind.
~~~
Megan and Yoonchae had to share a hotel room during Lollapalooza. They were there for 3 nights.
“Come on, Yoonchae. Let’s go see Chappell,” Megan dragged her out of the hotel room.
It was late and Yoonchae yearned for her sleep, but saying no to Megan? That wasn’t an option.
The crowd was huge and LOUD, it was a completely different feeling to being the one performing. She kind of loved it.
They met up with Lara and they saw Chappell Roan’s set as the three of them.
Yoonchae stayed close to Megan the whole time, they were attached by the hands. If Lara got too close for comfort, Yoonchae would wrap a protective arm at Megan’s shoulder.
It was stupid. Lara had a boyfriend. Yoonchae didn’t care though.
After the sets were over and the crowds thinned out, the girls took the van back to the hotel.
Lara went back to her suite while Yoonchae had to practically drag Megan to their door.
“Holy shit, I’m exhausted,” Megan threw her bag off her shoulder and started taking off her shirt. She had had a couple too many drinks.
Yoonchae stared, she couldn’t help it.
Yoonchae ended up going in the shower while Megan was too wasted to even care about getting herself clean.
During her shower she thought about two things, their performance from earlier in the day, and Megan without her shirt on.
When she stepped out of the bathroom, Megan was already standing outside of the door, waiting.
Yoonchae shivered, “Kamchagiya! You scared me.” Yoonchae turned away and began walking to her bed. She wasn’t fast enough.
Megan grabbed her wrist and turned her back around.
Yoonchae was pressed against the edge of the mattress while Megan stared up at her.
“What’s wrong?” Yoonchae asked, slightly panicked.
Megan looked at her with watery, desperate eyes, “ God, I…want to kiss you.”
Yoonchae’s chest tightened dramatically, “Get in bed, Megan, you’re drunk.”
before she could push her off, Megan grabbed her neck, pulled her in, and kissed her, hard.
Yoonchae knew it was wrong, she did. But the feeling of Megan’s lips on hers outweighed any feelings of guilt buried inside her.
“It isn’t worth it,” Yoonchae thought to herself.
The kiss was messy and desperate, it was all she had wanted for so long. They didn’t know how to handle each-other. Yoonchae somehow managed to pull Megan impossibly closer, hands exploring her figure.
This was unexplored territory for both of them. Yoonchae’s tongue had a mind of its own as it made its way down Megan. Her small whimpers were enough to let Yoonchae know that she could continue.
After leaving small marks all over Megan’s neck and collarbone, marking what she had thought was finally hers, Yoonchae reluctantly pulled back.
“Oh, Chae,” Megan stared at her through pleading eyes.
Megan forgot about it when she woke up the next day.
Yoonchae tried to forget, too.
~~~
Yoonchae pulled herself out of the memory. That was the only time they had ever kissed like that.
Her mom used to tell her that peoples true intentions would come out when they were under the influence while her dad believed that no one really means what they do while drunk.
Yoonchae believed the latter. She daydreamed herself to sleep.
~the next day~
After the deathly early wake up call, Yoonchae ended up seated next to Megan on a flight to New York. She was going on and on about Otis.
“He got me this hat, I love him so fucking much dude,” Megan went on.
“The hat isn’t even that cute,” Yoonchae thought. Yoonchae knew Megan didn’t like that color.
Yoonchae wanted to jump out of the plane. It was four in the morning and still, Megan was talking about him.
By the middle of the flight, Megan was sleeping while Yoonchae had her AirPods on full blast while she listened to Olivia Rodrigo. She had started listening to her because of Megan. Yoonchae related to her every song.
She felt a tap on her shoulder.
“Chae?” Damn it. Yoonchae loved when she called her that. Megan looked high on her own sleep. She was still gorgeous as ever.
“Hmm?” Yoonchae stared at her unapologetically.
“I didn’t like when Sophia kept touching you yesterday. If you need someone to fix your hair, you ask me. Megan.” She whispered those words.
“You’re funny,” Yoonchae answered, she wasn’t laughing though.
“I’m serious,” Megan’s face looked somber. She reached out, caressed Yoonchae’s cheek, then lay her head on the younger girls shoulder.
“Okay,” The word came out shaky. Yoonchae leaned into the touch and Megan grabbed her hand.
She was fucked.