Chapter Text
Takes place during Chapter 15: To Keep You Close, featuring the contents of the agreement Wei Wuxian makes Lan Wangji write and seal with his handprint.
After much consideration, Wei Wuxian finally began to dictate.
“Lan Zhan, write this.”
Lan Wangji obediently lowered his brush. Wei Wuxian cleared his throat and adopted his most solemn voice.
“From this day forward, Lan Wangji is not allowed to become angry without reason nor is he allowed to ignore Wei Ying. Any violation shall be punished by copying the Lan Clan rules one hundred times.”
Lan Wangji said nothing.
“From this day forward, except when absolutely necessary, Lan Wangji must remain in contact with Wei Wuxian at all times. Any violation shall be punished by copying the Lan Clan rules one hundred times.”
The brush continued moving.
“From this day forward, wherever Lan Wangji goes, he must inform Wei Wuxian of his whereabouts at the earliest opportunity. Any violation shall be punished by copying the Lan Clan rules one hundred times.”
Wei Wuxian was clearly getting into the spirit of things.
“From this day forward, Lan Wangji is not allowed to switch off the communication device. Not even if it shuts itself off because it runs out of spiritual energy. Any violation shall be punished by copying the Lan Clan rules one hundred times.”
Lan Wangji’s brush paused. Wei Wuxian continued before he could object.
“From this day forward, Lan Wangji is not allowed to be fierce with Wei Ying. Not even a little bit fierce. Any violation shall be punished by copying the Lan Clan rules one hundred times.”
This, at last, proved too much.
“When was I ever fierce with you? You were the one being fierce with me.”
“I don’t care,” Wei Wuxian declared. “I’m the one who was wronged today. If I say you were fierce, then you were fierce.”
Lan Wangji looked down at the agreement. There appeared to be no reasonable answer to this. He resumed writing.
Encouraged, Wei Wuxian continued without the slightest hint of shame. “From this day forward, Lan Wangji is not allowed to suffer even the slightest injury without Wei Wuxian knowing about it. Any violation shall be punished by copying the Lan Clan rules one hundred times.”
The brush stopped again.
“Being injured is hardly a good thing. Why would I deliberately injure myself?”
“That is not the point. You are not allowed to hide it from me.”
This was, admittedly, a somewhat more reasonable demand. Lan Wangji wrote it down.
Unfortunately, this only encouraged him.
“From this day forward…”
Another clause joined the page.
“From this day forward…”
Then another.
“From this day forward…”
By the time Wei Wuxian finally reached the end of his seemingly inexhaustible list of demands, Lan Wangji had long since abandoned any hope of reasoning with him.
At last, Wei Wuxian announced grandly, “One final rule.”
Lan Wangji waited.
“This agreement takes effect immediately and shall remain binding in this life and every life to come. Should Lan Wangji dare violate it, Wei Wuxian reserves the right to take his grievance before the heavens above and the courts below.”
The room fell quiet.
Lan Wangji looked down at the page before him, now crowded with Wei Wuxian’s demands from one margin to the other. “Is that all?”
Wei Wuxian considered this with alarming seriousness. “For now.”
Lan Wangji should have known better than to ask. And thus, under terms that could hardly be called fair, the agreement was completed.
Lan Wangji signed it. He even put his handprint on it.
There was regrettably, no one left for Lan Wangji to blame.