Chapter Text
A regular day in Cap’n Clark's Ottoman Empire.
It was burning daylight outside, and the usual sights could be seen. The family or two peering through a dinette, the fluorescent light in the corner flickering. Clark in his office, randomly sketching a building he’d love to create.
During the empty periods, Bobby liked to wander around the store. He says it’ll “encourage customers to come in”, much to Kat’s protest of Bobby just being lazy and not willing to help her with filing paperwork.
“Come on, babe. You’ll get hurt.” Kat fussily griped.
“Relax! It’s healthy too. You shouldn’t be sitting down there all day reading comics. And how can I get hurt just walkin’ around?”
Kat sighed, going back to reviewing faxes for furniture orders. She was knee deep in reviewing an interest form for a crib until – a THUD; followed by the sound of wood piling to the ground.
Kat jolts her head up to see Bobby jumping in pain, holding his stubbed foot. The next sight she immediately notices is the table; it’s completely fallen apart.
Being the worried, doting girlfriend she is, Kat beelines to Bobby, stroking him on the back, guiding him to sit on the floor.
“Oh, babe! What did I tell you would happen, huh!? Oh, baby, it’s okay, it’s okay…”
Kat’s sappy comforting is interrupted by Clark coming out of his office to see what the commotion is. As he approaches the couple, he’s starstruck by the state of the TABLE in front of him.
“Wha–what the hell happened here?” Clark blurted.
“He stubbed his toe!” Kat worriedly said as she continued stroking his back.
“No, Clark, it’s fine! Relax, babe.” Bobby casually brushes off as he gets up.
Giving her boyfriend a sure look, Kat gets up alongside him to turn her attention towards the table.
“Well, did you belly-flop on it before stubbing your toe on it?” Clark sarcastically inquired.
“Right… why’s it so… destroyed?” Bobby marveled.
Bobby lightly kicks the debris of the table. A shitty piece of furniture indeed. Even more surprising is the price tag; reading at $650 for this one table.
“What supplier gave us this piece of shit!?” Kat snapped at Clark.
Clark sighs. “I don’t know, Kat. I just take whatever the suppliers give me. Just… clean this up and I’ll figure it out.”
Kat shakes her head in disbelief as Bobby goes to get a broom, but not before she grabs a quick flick of the formerly-table debris with her Polaroid camera.
~~
Clark couldn’t believe she’d set him up to do this.
Sitting in his passenger seat was Kat, pissed off, and Bobby, there for the ride.
“You know, this is good for us.” Bobby chimed.
Clark exasperatedly sighs.
“I’m only doing this cause that table was $650 and insurance isn’t willing to cover damages this low.”
“Cheap bullshit…” he mutters.
“Well, regardless, I think we should have a productive conversation, and this conversation will just serve as a termination of him as a supplier.” Kat interjected.
“Alright! Let’s give these guys a piece of our mind!” Bobby excitedly announces.
“Captain Clarks?” Bobby puts his hand in the middle for a hand stack, fully expecting them to join. Clark is not having it. But Kat joins in, putting her hand in, wanting to validate her boyfriend. Only then does Clark reluctantly join in.
“Ottoman Empire…” all three chorused with different levels of excitement, Bobby being the most excited. With that, Clark steps on the gas, heading to the address of Dunny-and-Bride Manufacturing and Suppliers.
~~
Pulling up to the dingy office building in this sketchy area, Clark parks his car, getting ready to face the demons.
“Kat, get me the documents, will you?”
Kat readies the folder; archives of the order, invoices, everything, sorting through things needed to prove the supplier’s wrongdoing in this simple “refund request”.
“Hold on!” Kat interjects. She takes out the Polaroid of the table debris. Bobby curiously takes a look, and audibly demonstrates his excitement. “This is, like, a weapon for you, Clark!”
“What the hell are you talkin’ about?” Clark grumbled as he turned around to see what they’re fussing over.
He takes a look at the photograph, then shoots a quick smirk at Kat.
The Three Musketeers all walk towards the office building, Clark coming in first. He’s gonna ask for that refund and get it. Hopefully. Standing outside the room to the boss’s office, Clark gestures for Kat and Bobby to sit down.
“Okay. Just stay out here, alright? If I need you, I’ll call you.” Clark briefs. Kat and Bobby nod along like they’re spies. Clark puts on his authoritative persona – a little technique introduced to him by his therapist – and walks in the door, which has a little nameplate on it saying “Bernice Wayan – Dunny and Bride Head of Manufacturing”.
As the door closes, slightly audible conversation is heard.
“You think he’ll be okay?” Bobby worriedly questions.
“I’m right behind him.” Kat replies.
A bit of time goes by, and the two can hear the conversation getting heated in there, which then turns into yelling followed by Clark angrily exiting, scattered documents in hand.
“And take your two shithead ‘employees’ with you!” the man from behind the door yells. Offended, Kat storms up, forcing the door open and slamming it, ready to give this guy a piece of her mind.
Clark and Bobby look at the door, Clark obviously angry as we hear a barrage of screaming. As they hear the loud ass screaming, they make out one audible line all at the end of it;
“AND WE DEMAND A FULL REFUND FOR THIS SHITTY FURNITURE SUPPLY! GOD KNOWS HOW MANY CUSTOMERS WE’VE LOST CAUSE YOU SOLD US THIS SHIT QUALITY FURNITURE!”
They both have a smear or surprise on their faces.
“I’ve never seen her like this.” Bobby stammered. He looks to Clark, who’s smirking and nodding.
He points at the door.
“That’s the assistant manager I hired!” Clark proudly proclaims. The door opens, and out comes Kat.
“He wants an invoice for the whole order.” Kat exasperatedly says.
Clark jubilates, going in for a high-five to Kat and Bobby. “Yeah! That’s my assistant manager! Atta girl!” Clark almost yells as the three excitedly stride back to the car.
~~
Payday comes for the couple, both lazing around in their house, and as they open both of their checks, they notice a separate check included in the envelope, each for $274.95 and a handwritten “Bonus” by Clark in the MEMO section.
The two rejoice, Kat sprawling back on the bed with Bobby.