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Nico couldn't breathe.
there were too many people around him. He couldn't take it.
too many voices, too many questions being thrown at him from every direction. He could hear his name being called over and over again, but he couldn't focus on any of this.
Someone was asking about the crash. Someone else wanted to know whether he blamed Lewis. So many journalists were walking on him, trying together get answers while so many cameras were pointed direct at his face.
“Nico, was it your fault?”
”Nico, what happened between you and Lewis?”
”do you think Lewis should have backed out?”
Nico couldn’t do this, it was to much. He kept walking. Well at least, he was trying to.
his legs felt strangely heavy and every step seemed to require more effort than the one before. He had spent his entire life around cameras and journalists. He knew how this worked.
Smile. Answer. Keep moving. Don’t show weakness.
normally, he was good at it. But today,he couldn’t. He could still see the crash every time he closed his eyes. By the time he reached to Mercedes motorhome he went inside without saying anything to anyone.
He couldn’t, he needed some space, a quiet moment.
he found his dressing room and looked himself up. He sat down on the ground and is resting his head against the door, he still couldn’t breathe normally. His hands started to shake and tears filled up his eyes.
He try’s to calm himself down but it was to hard.
“Come on Nico calm down.” He tries to tell himself. “Come on, come on” He took another shaky breath and wiped his face with his hands. His whole body was still trembling, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to make it stop. He knew he had to calm down.
He knew he couldn’t stay like this forever. But knowing that didn’t make it any easier.
Then he heard footsteps outside the room.
Nico froze.The footsteps stopped directly in front of the door.A knock followed.
“Nico?“ His heart sank. Lewis. Nico stared at the door but didn’t move. “Nico, open the door.”
He couldn’t.
He wanted to tell him to go away. He wanted to tell him that he needed a minute. But his throat felt completely closed.
Another knock came, harder this time. “Seriously, Nico?“ Lewis sounded angry.
“I know you’re in there.” Nico closed his eyes.
“Open the door.“ Nothing. “Nico, I’m not leaving until we talk.” Nico pressed his hands against his ears, trying to block out the sound of Lewis’s voice.
But Lewis only became more frustrated.“Why are you doing this?” he asked. “Why can’t you just talk to me?” Nico’s breathing became uneven again.
“I don’t want to fight,” he whispered. “What?” Lewis clearly hadn’t heard him. “I said I don’t want to fight.”
“Then open the door!” Nico shook his head. “I can’t.”There was a pause. Lewis let out a frustrated laugh.
“You can’t?” Nico didn’t answer. “If you don’t wanna talk, fine. I’m done” Lewis starts walking away slowly he turned around to see if Nico opens the door put he doesn’t.
After a while Nico started to calm down but he needed to get out of there. He took his key and jacket and ran out of the room to his car.
He looked back and saw so many journalists trying to catch him but Nico was too fast for them. He jumps in the car and started driving back to the hotel. Nico drove faster than he probably should have.
His hands were still shaking against the steering wheel and every few seconds he had to wipe his hands against his jeans because they were getting sweaty.
He just wanted to get an away. Away from the cameras. Away from the questions. Away from Lewis. But not matter how far he drove, the image of the crash stayed in his head. The sound of fans, the movement of Lewis’s car and all of the smoke.
Nico swallowed hard and tried to focus on the road.
“Stop thinking about it man” he whispered to himself. But it didn’t work. His mind kept going back to the same moment.
what if Lewis had been hurt? What if the crash had been worse?
“No” Nico shook his head, wanted to stop thinking about it. He couldn't think about it.
He just needed to be in the hotel room and to be alone.
When he finally arrived, he parked his car in the underground garage and stayed there for a moment. His hands were still gripping the steering wheel. Shaking.
But he eventually forced himself to come down and to get out of the car. He grabbed his jacket and kept his head down while walking to the elevator. He got in and and leaned against the wall.
He tried to control his breathing but it was to shaky and his chest still felt tight.
When the elevator finally stoped at his floor, Nico stepped out and hurried to his room and went in as fast as he could.
Right after the door closed behind him, his legs gave up. He slides down against the door and pulled his knees towards his chest.
His eyes burned. He tried to breathe normally. But the second he closed his eyes, he saw everything.
everything about the crash.
”im sorry, im so sorry.” The words came out quietly. Nico covered his face with his hands and his shoulders started shaking. He doesn't want to cry anymore but he couldn't stop.
Nicos phone suddenly started vibrating on the bed. He looked up. And saw Lewis name.
The phone stopped. A few seconds later, it started again. Nico stared at it.He didn’t answer. Eventually, the ringing stopped. Then a message appeared.
Lewis: Where are you?
Nico didn’t reply. Another message.
Lewis: Please answer.
Nico turned the phone face down. He couldn’t talk to him. Not yet. He didn’t know what to say. A few minutes passed.
Then there was a knock at the door. Nico froze, his heart dropped.
”Nico? Are you in there?”, its Lewis. Of course. Nico held his breath.
“Come open the door” Nico still doesn't answer. “I know you in there.” Nico closed his eyes. He didn’t want to fight. He didn’t want to explain. He didn’t want to hear anyone talking about the crash.
He just wanted everything to stop. “Nico.” Lewis sounded frustrated. “Please.”
Nico’s eyes filled with tears again. He wanted to open the door. He really did. But his body wouldn’t move. “I just want to talk to you,” Lewis said. Nico pressed his forehead against his knees.
“I can’t,” he whispered. “What?” Lewis couldn’t hear him. Nico took a shaky breath. “I can’t.” There was silence on the other side.
Then Lewis sighed. “I know you’re angry.” Nico shook his head. He wasn’t angry. That was the problem. He was scared.
“I’m not angry,” Nico whispered. “What?” Nico didn’t answer. Lewis knocked once more. “Nico, if you’re angry with me, that’s okay. But please just talk to me.” Nico wiped his face.
“I don’t want to fight.” This time, Lewis heard him. “Then don’t fight with me.” “I can’t.”
“Why?” Nico couldn’t answer. Because he didn’t know how to explain it. He couldn’t explain the feeling in his chest. He couldn’t explain why his hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
He couldn’t explain why the thought of Lewis getting hurt made him feel sick. So he stayed quiet. Lewis waited. Then he spoke again.
“I’m not leaving until I know you’re okay.” Nico’s heart hurt.
“I’m okay.” The words were barely audible. Lewis was quiet for a moment. “You don’t sound okay.” Nico closed his eyes.
“I just need to be alone.” Another pause. “Okay.” Nico looked toward the door. “I’ll give you some space.” He heard Lewis move. Then the footsteps slowly disappeared down the hallway.
Nico stayed where he was. He didn’t know why, but hearing Lewis leave made something inside him hurt even more. He pulled his knees closer.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered again.
lewis walked down the hallway slowly. He was still frustrated. But now it wasn’t anger.
It was worry. Something was wrong. He knew Nico. He knew when Nico was angry. He knew when Nico was annoyed.
He knew when Nico simply didn’t want to talk. This was different. Nico had sounded terrified. Lewis stopped walking. He looked back at the door. He almost went back.
But he knew Nico had asked for space. Maybe that was what he needed. Lewis pulled out his phone. He stared at Nico’s name.
Then he typed.
Lewis: I’m going to give you some time.
He paused.
Then added:
Lewis: But I’m still here.
He sent it. A few seconds later, he received a response.
Nico: Okay.
Lewis stared at the message. Then another one appeared.
Nico: I’m sorry.
Lewis’s heart sank. He immediately typed back.
Lewis: You don’t have to apologize.
No answer. Lewis put his phone away. He would wait. Whatever Nico needed, he would wait. Back inside the room, Nico stared at the message.
You don’t have to apologize.
He didn’t understand how Lewis could say that.He had caused the crash. At least, that’s what Nico believed.
Maybe Lewis didn’t blame him now. Maybe he would later. Maybe everyone would. Nico stood up slowly. His legs still felt weak.
He walked toward the bathroom and looked into the mirror. His face was a mess. He splashed cold water over it. Then he looked at himself again.
“You’re fine.” He whispered it. “You’re fine, Nico.” But he didn’t believe himself. He changed out of his race clothes and put on a hoodie.
Then he climbed into bed. He pulled the blanket over himself. For the first time that day, he felt exhausted enough to sleep. But just before he closed his eyes, his phone buzzed. Another message.
Lewis: Goodnight, Nico.
Nico stared at it. A tiny smile appeared on his face. He typed back.
Nico: Goodnight.
Then he put his phone beside him. He closed his eyes. And eventually, he fell asleep. For a few hours, there were no cameras.
No journalists. No questions. No crash. Just silence.
But neither Nico nor Lewis knew that the next morning would change everything.
The next morning nico woke up feeling stiff. There was a quiet knock on Nico’s door “Nico?”
Nico sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor. He didn’t answer. Lewis knocked again.
“Can you open the door? Please.”
Nico took a shaky breath. His legs felt heavy, but after a moment, he stood up and slowly walked to the door. He unlocked it and opened it.
Lewis was standing there. He immediately noticed Nico’s tired eyes. “Hey.” “Hey,” Nico whispered.
Lewis stepped inside and closed the door behind him. “I wanted to talk to you.” Nico nodded and sat back down on the bed. Lewis sat beside him.
“I still can’t stop thinking about it,” Nico admitted. “I keep thinking it was my fault.” Lewis shook his head. “You can’t keep blaming yourself for something that already happened.”
“But I—” “No.” Lewis gently took his hand. “You don’t have to go through this alone.” Nico looked at him, his eyes filling with tears.
“I was so scared.” “I know.” Lewis pulled him into a hug. “And I’m still here.” Nico held onto him tightly.
“Together?” he whispered. “Together.” Nico closed his eyes. For the first time since the crash, he felt like maybe things could actually be okay.
Lewis squeezed his hand.
“I’ve got you.”
Nico smiled through his tears.
“Yeah. I know.”