Work Text:
It is at her high school graduation that Iki Hiyori meets the man for the first time. At least, it should be the first time. She is certain that she knows him, even though she is also certain that she has never seen him before in her life.
He stands at the back of the crowd, a teenage boy with golden hair next to him. They don’t pay attention to any of the other students who get on the stage to get their diploma. They only clap for her.
After the ceremony, when her parents and friends have taken their turns to congratulate her and are now spread out in the reception hall to grab drinks and catch up, she goes to him. The teenage boy has already left, but the man is still here, standing in a corner. Up close, she realizes that he is the most beautiful man she has ever seen, with raven black hair and eyes the colour of the morning sky.
‘Have we met before?’ she asks him, and she is so certain that they have that she doesn’t even feel self-conscious being so straightforward.
His eyes widen and he looks over his shoulder, as if she might be addressing someone else, even though directly behind him is a wall.
‘We met a long time ago,’ he answers eventually, and the words seem to cause him physical pain.
‘I’m afraid I don’t remember you,’ Hiyori admits. ‘I just had this feeling that I know you. Who are you here for?’
‘For you.’
‘Well, thank you for being here, mister..?’
‘Yaboku,’ he says, with an uncertainty that one should not feel about their own name.
‘Thank you, mister Yaboku.’
‘You’re welcome.’ He shoots her a look that does not fit the occasion, like her presence has taken all of the happiness out of the world. And then he walks away, and she loses sight of him almost immediately.
She knows that his name should not be Yaboku. It’s wrong. But a few seconds after he’s gone, she forgets that, and after a few seconds more she wonders what she is doing here in front of an empty wall.
*****
The second time she meets him is at a summer festival. She wears a bright pink yukata with her hair in a complicated updo, both courtesy of her mother. She’s lost sight of the friends she came with, and so she ends up checking out the many stalls around the temple area.
She buys a candied apple and then notices a teenage boy with golden hair, complaining to his older companion that they lack the funds for any snacks. Before she can stop herself, Hiyori buys two more candied apples and taps the boy on his shoulder.
It hits her like a storm. These were the people at her graduation. She’d forgotten about them. The boy is speechless, but there is a spark of joy in his eyes. The man, like last time, suffers at the sight of her.
‘Mister Yaboku, is it not? Take these. As a thanks for coming to my graduation two years ago.’ She hands him the apple and he takes it with slender, graceful fingers. Their hands touch for a short moment and Hiyori realizes that she wishes she could hold his hand.
‘It was our pleasure,’ he tells her, his voice strained. And then, to both of their surprises, he adds: ‘You look pretty.’
It’s a basic compliment, but it takes all the air out of her lungs.
The man immediately turns to the teenage boy, his body tense with what seems like panic. ‘We need to go.’
‘But…’
‘No, no buts.’
And with that, they vanish once again. This time, it takes longer for Hiyori to forget. Their scent lingers for a few moments after they leave, and it is the most comforting thing she has ever smelled.
*****
The third time is in Capypa Land. Hiyori is there with Ami and Yama. They go to the amusement park once a year, for old times’ sake.
Ami and Yama are standing in line for a rollercoaster that is sure to leave Hiyori dizzy and nauseated, so she sits down on a bench to wait for them. It’s only after a few seconds that she realizes that he sits on the other end.
Like last time, the memory of his existence returns all at once. ‘Hello, mister Yaboku,’ she tells him, and he looks at her with a smile that is ridden with sadness.
‘Hello, Iki Hiyori. It seems we keep running into each other.’
‘It does. Fate really wants us to meet, it seems.’
Yaboku gasps when she says that, and he unsuccessfully covers it with a cough.
‘I get the impression you don’t want that, however,’ Hiyori points out in a gentle tone. ‘You look so sad whenever you see me. Why is that?’
‘You remind me of someone I lost a long time ago,’ he says. He does not elaborate.
‘I see. How about we get to know each other better, then? Maybe you can learn to see me separately from the one you lost.’
She wants to get to know him. Her chest aches with that need.
But he simply shakes his head. ‘I already know you. That is precisely why it is so hard.’
He stands up and on pure instinct, Hiyori reaches and grabs his hand. He turns around to look at her and there is something so familiar about the way their hands fit together. When she opens her mouth to ask him about it he shakes his head. Suddenly she is alone, arm stretched out, feeling only the ghost of someone’s fingers intertwined with hers.
*****
The fourth time is in her parents’ hospital. It is a difficult night - she has had to tell one of her patients that they will need to go through an intense medical trajectory. They will be fine, most likely, but it will be difficult nonetheless. She wishes she could’ve given them better news.
He enters the hallway she is in, right in front of her, carrying a sword. There is a flash of light and the sword disappears. Instead, there is the teenage boy with golden hair. Hiyori questions none of it. She is sleep deprived enough that it could be a hallucination, and even if it wasn’t, none of it strikes her as strange. She absent-mindedly thinks that she’s seen this before, even though the whole thing is absurd.
‘Good evening, you two.’
They turn around and see her. The teenage boy wants to tell her something, but he thinks better of it. ‘Good evening, miss.’
Yaboku looks inscrutable. ‘Hello, Iki Hiyori. I should’ve expected to see you here.’
‘It is my parents’ hospital, after all,’ she tells him with a proud smile. For a second she can see a light in Yaboku’s blue eyes that she has not yet seen before. She can't name the exact emotion, but it's a positive one, and it makes her heart skip a beat.
‘And you are a doctor here, now?’ he asks. Hiyori wonders if it’s an attempt at connection. Maybe he has taken her words from last time to heart after all.
‘I’m in training here. And may I ask, what are you doing here? Is either of you ill?’
Yaboku gives her that sad smile again. ‘I think it’s better if you don’t know why we're here.’
‘I will probably forget about it the moment you leave, so you might as well tell me. It’s not like I can tell anyone else,’ she says without thinking. The boy’s enthusiasm at seeing her fades - the man simply looks defeated.
She cannot shake the feeling that there is something familiar about this, about the three of them standing here in the hospital. Memories flash through her mind’s eye, none of them for long enough to become fully coherent. But they end with the man embracing her and telling her that he simply cannot fulfill her wish.
When she finally gets a grip on her thoughts again, the two have vanished once more, and any memory of them is swept from her mind.
*****
The fifth time is at a shrine for Bishamonten. Before her sleeping spells, Hiyori never used to be particularly religious, but after that year she found herself more and more drawn to the gods. Bishamonten has become a particular favorite.
It is quiet at the shrine, as it’s 2 o'clock on a Tuesday. Normally, Hiyori would be at work, but it’s the anniversary of her waking up in the hospital after what could only be described as a near-death experience. She always takes this day off.
She knows he’s here the moment she takes the final bow of her prayer. Once again, the memories of their earlier meetings return. Once again, she sees Yaboku.
‘Hello again,’ she says.
‘Hi.’ He is standing next to her.
‘I’ve been wondering, what happened to the person I remind you of? The one that hurt you so bad you struggle to be around me?’
‘I watched her die. It was my fault.’
She turns towards him. ‘I understand that might hurt. But it’s not fair to use that to push me away. You said you know me, but I don’t know anything about you, and I want to.’
‘You shouldn’t. I can’t bear to see you die again.’
You. Again. The word echoes through her mind. He was there, wasn’t he, when she almost died? She tries to recall that day, but her memories are jumbled. All she can remember is pain and someone’s lips meeting hers. But not out of intimacy - out of desperation. She wants to ask Yaboku if that was him, because it feels like she is close to something. As if all she needs is for Yaboku to remove one single cloud in her mind before the sun will break through and everything will become clear.
But when she looks up he is gone, and once again, all memories of him fade.
*****
The sixth time is under a sakura tree. It has been a good day at the hospital, and she feels good about the work she did that day. So she sits down on a bench and takes in the fresh spring air. In front of her is a puddle - it rained until earlier that day. She looks at it, expecting the blue sky to reflect in it, but she sees a black tracksuit instead.
She doesn’t know why this is the time his name returns to her. Maybe it’s the sakura trees. Maybe she has crossed some mental threshold now that she’s seen him so many times. Maybe he is finally willing to let her remember him. But as she looks up at him, sitting in a tree, her lips automatically form his name.
‘Yato!’
He blinks a few times, then shakes his head. ‘That’s not my name, remember?’
‘No, it is,’ she insists. ‘Yaboku was the name your father gave you. You go by Yato instead.’
‘You must be misremembering.’ His voice becomes less convincing with every word. He looks at her with large eyes and it is clear that he so desperately wants to be wrong.
‘The opposite. I finally remember properly.’ She grins at him, while the memories slowly come flooding back. ‘We met ten years ago, when I saved you from a truck.’
Something in his gaze shifts, like a puzzle piece that snaps into place. He jumps down from the branch, into the puddle, and ignoring his soaked shoes he walks up to her and stands still right in front of her.
‘Do you promise?’ he asks, his voice soft. ‘Do you promise that you remember?’
‘I remember.’
And she tells him. About Yukine, and the gods, and every other adventure they’ve been through. Yato listens breathlessly, looking at her like she’s the only thing that exists in the universe.
She ends with: ‘I’ve spent ten years waiting for you without even knowing. You should’ve told me.’
‘I should’ve. I’m sorry.’
And suddenly his arms are around her and he holds her like he’s afraid she’ll disappear.
‘You can’t die in front of me again,’ he tells her.
‘That’s not fair to ask.’
‘I don’t care if you don’t follow through. I just need you to say it.’
‘I'll try. As long as you'll be there to protect me.’
‘I will, Hiyori,’ he promises. ‘I will protect you forever.’
She knows she can believe him. And as she melts into his touch, she knows, with everything she has, that she will never forget him again.