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It started in middle school, he was getting bullied. It was normal, at least that’s what his therapist said. He would grow out of it, he could hear the teachers whisper behind closed doors. They were right, sort of. He did get better, that was until he had to fight Shigaraki.
U.A required therapy for all the students after that. It wasn’t long until they found out. Then it was more or less the same. This time he just didn’t get better.
He tried, he really did. He just couldn’t. So, he lied. Pretended to get better. He got better at hiding the scars. He had so many it wasn’t hard. He was once again the bright and cheery Deku. Everyone could depend on him, they had to. And eventually, the lies start to become the norm.
He grew up. Losing one for all didn’t help but there was nothing anyone could do about it. He graduated with all his classmates. They went on to become grate hero's. Izuku became a teacher at U.A.
He loved it don’t get it wrong. Teaching his students, seeing the light in their eyes. He just wish he could see it in himself.
He saw them, everywhere he went. The man in front of him in line for coffee with all to familiar blue hair. A young school with the widest smile, skipping through the park. A patch worked face starring back at him from across the subway. All the rest were there too. But, these three showed up the most.
He was tired, so tired. His act was beginning to slip. People were noticing. Mic questioned him in the teachers lounge. His friends would say something seems off whenever they hung out. Hell, even his students were starting to catch on.
No one knew the whole truth. They didn’t realize how bad it had really gotten. That knowledge was for him and his 7 demons. And they would take this knowledge to the grave. He needed to be strong, that’s what he was good at. That’s what gave him purpose.
Then, he was doing a simple science experiment with his class. Hero students need to know basic high school physics too. When one kid dropped his flask on the floor. Glass went everywhere. Deku did as any teacher would, take care of it. He swept up all the pieces and put them in the trash. All the pieces, but one.
He didn’t know what compelled him to take the shard. He hadn’t actually hurt himself since high school. But god did he think about it. So, he tucked away the piece in the inside pocket of his jacket. No one saw him, not that he could tell.
Once the day was over he went to the teachers lounge to get some grading done. He needed a change of scenery from the lizard currently occupying his classroom.
“Heeeey, Midoriya!” President Mic says walking into the room. “What’ya up to?”
“Don’t bug the kid, can’t you tell he’s working.” Aizawa follows closely behind. Once becoming a teacher Deku learned the pair had been married this whole time. Aizawa just didn’t want his students to think he’s soft. Boy did Mina get a kick out of that one.
“I really don’t mind Mr. Aizawa.” It’s not like he was getting much work done. The Lizard was gone but a masked man had taken his place. “You two have any plans tonight?” Normal people have plans on Friday night.
“We’ve been working together for over 4 years, you don’t have to call me Mr. Aizawa.” Shoto adds
“And to answer your question we’re going to get drinks with Hawks and Miriko.” Mic says, knowing Izuku would ever change.
“Hawks just made some big innovation with the Commission and wants to brag about it.” Aizawa continues, like they could read each others minds. “Speaking of, we need to get going. You don’t mind us leaving right Midoriya?”
“Not at all, have fun.” He lied, he really didn’t want to be left with them. He never did and always ends up alone just the same. He tried getting more work done but simply couldn’t. He decided some fresh air would be good.
As he headed for the roof of the school he say some students still left in the building. He wished he could pull on aside and just talk. But, they had lives and families to get to.
He went up the many steps as fast as possible. Starting on the first floor made the task much harder. The man in a top hat following him all the way up didn’t help either.
Finally he reached the top. He went over to the wall and leaned against it. Thats when he say them across the roof. All 6. Shigaraki stood in the middle. Dabi and Toga stood on his sides. Compress was next to Shigaraki, Spinner was next to Conpress. Twice stood next to Toga.
He hadn’t seen them all together in a long time. And, when he did it never ended well. They were over whelming and kept taking steps closer to him.
“Did you just let my death mean nothing? Nothing has changed!” Shigaraki yelled.
Toga spoke next, “Quirks still aren’t accepted for what they are! You’ve failed!”
“Loads of the hero’s are still garbage, just as bad as Endeavor! And you’re doing nothing!” Dabi adds to the conversation.
“People feel like they don’t belong just as much as ever!” Twice contributes.
“On the bright side your performance is top notch, keep it up.” Compress gives a compliment, it stung just as much as everyone else’s comments.
“Who cares, polymorph hate is just as much as a problem as when I was put in jail.”
They continue, for what felt like forever. And eventually he started to believe them. He was failing, he was useless, why was he here when they weren’t? It was all too much, way too much.
Then he remembered the glass shard in his pocket. He pulled it out slowly. These people died (or got put in jail) for what they believed. All Deku was doing was nothing. He was useless, a failure. He lines up the shard. He made sure it wouldn’t show by putting it along an existing line given to him by Shigaraki.
“Great to see you using what I gave you for good.” He laughed.
He swiped in down. The blood started almost immediately. A slow flow at first. Slowly it got heavier. He just watched it for a little while, feeling the pain. He deserved this, he convinced himself. He did it Again and Again. Each time the same pain. Each time it was not enough.
They wanted more, they pushed him to do more. He moved on the the other arm. Soon it was converted with red. So much red. His jacket was ruined, he didn’t care. It still wasn’t enough. That’s when Toga spoke.
“Join us.” She stated. It was barely a whisper. Izuku still heard it of course. She was right. It would be so easy, his pain could be gone. It could be gone forever. He didn’t know what happened after death, he just thought it had to be better than his present.
Slowly he walked over the ledge. The league member parted to let him past.
Would anyone care? Hero’s used to die all the time. Could he even call himself a hero anymore? It didn't matter maybe it never did. Surely someone would cares they would hold a funeral for him, right? Maybe Ochaco and Bakugo would give some dumb speech about how he was such a good guy. His mom would be there, probably crying. All Might would wonder how this could have happened. It was supposed to be me, he would think.
His other classmates would come too. Sero would make some dumb joke to lighten the mood. It wouldn’t work but he would try. If he was lucky Aizawa and Mic would come to. Aizawa would call him an idiot. Mic would comfort him. And his student would come. He hates that he would have to leave them. It was fine though. Aizawa would take good care of them. They would all be great heros one day.
The more he thought about it the more enticing it became. Everyone would move on, the league would have one last victim. He could already hear Spinners laugh when he fines out.
“Mr Midoriya?” The young girls voice asks though the silence. It felt far from it inside Izuku mind. She saw all the blood, she couldn’t help but feel a little sick. He didn’t respond.
“Deku?” She tried again. She was too afraid to get closer. He still didn’t notice, too absorbed in his thoughts and the league.
“Izuku!” She said it louder this time. Finally this got his attention. He turned abruptly, like a frightened animal.
“Eri” He mumbled, less than a whisper. He was horrified she saw him like this. He was supposed to be the string kid who rescued her from Overhaul. Quickly, he tried to hide his arms. It was no use however due to the sleeves being covered in blood.
“D-don’t” She said, walking over to grab his hands. She had gotten much better at controlling her quirk. “Let me heal you.” She said softly. He didn’t want to be healed, a least not in the wags she could help.
“I’m fine, shouldn’t you be with Aizawa?” He deflected. He never wanted his quirk back more. If only he could just float away.
“That doesn’t matter. Izuku, please can we step away from the ledge?” He didn’t process until that point how close Eri was from the long way down. He wouldn’t put his student in danger, not ever. He moved away from the ledge, back towards the middle.
Once they were safe Eri wrapped him in the tightest hung she could give. Sure he was her teacher but, he was also one of her first friends. At this gesture, he broke down crying. He fell to his knees. The voices were gone, like they had lost interest.
The shard was still in his hand, Eri slowly took it from him. She took his hands and used her quirk. It could only heal him not his clothing but it would have to do.
“I’m calling Aizawa. He’ll pick us up ok?” She asked. Deku could do nothing more than nod. What was he thinking, and now what? Eri, who had been though so much already, had to save him. The irony was lost on no one.
Once Eri finished her phone call their hug continued. She didn’t ask questions, which Deku was thankful for. He wasn’t ready to talk just yet.
After a few minutes Aizawa came bursting into the roof. How did he get there so fast, who knows. He must have left Mic in the dust because he was no where to be found.
Midoriya may be an adult now, but he was still Aizawa’s student. He ran over and crouched down. Eri knew to get out of her dad’s way. No one had to say anything, he knew just what to do.
“Midoriya, I’m taking you back to your apartment. Eri, wait for Mic. He’ll be hear soon with the car to take you home.” He said, his voice soft but commanding.
The group made their way down the stairs. I’ve they reached the bottom they split ways. Aizawa and Izuku headed for the subways. It was the fastest way home without a car. They rode in silence. People stared. Neither of them cared. Hawks was great at cover stories.
After around 49 minutes they made it to the apartment complex. Izuku lead the way to his door.
“I-i left my bag at the school.” It was the first thing he’d said the whole way there. It didn’t matter much, Aizawa got to work picking the lock. He pulled safely pin from god knows where and worked his magic. Within minutes the room was unlocked.
“Sit” Aizawa instructed, pointing at the couch. “I’m gonna make you some food.” He stated before heading to the kitchen. Midoriya sat down and pulled his knees to his chin. This always made him fell safer.
Aizawa came back with some toast with jelly. He put it in the coffee table. Izuku just stared at it. “Do you want me to call someone. Maybe Bakugo or Ochaco!” He asked.
“NO!” Deku exclaimed, louder than intended. “They can’t know”
“Midoriya, they’re your friends they could help.” The teacher states. To which the king of death stares gets the most intense death stare he’s ever seen. “Or not. I should go check on Eri though. I could do that then come back.” He states what was ment to be a question.
“Wait, please don’t leave! If you do they’ll come back.” Midoriya pleads. Knowing he sounds insane.
“What do you mean they?” Shoto questions.
“The league. Shigaraki, and Dabi, and Toga, and Compress, and Twice, and Spinner. I see them everywhere. I know I sound crazy. I know they can’t hurt me, we defeated them right? But I see and hear them. I swear I’m not crazy, please don’t think I’m crazy.” He again pleaded.
“Midoriya, I would never think your crazy. You went through more than most people ever do at the age of 16. It’s ok to not be ok. We can help you.” Aizawa said. He really ment it. He cared for the kid more than he’d like to admit. He wanted him to be ok.
At this point Izuku was crying. Aizawa walked over to comfort him. Soon Midoriya fell asleep on the couch. Aizawa didn’t want to leave him alone so he pulled out his trusty sleeping bag (more of a body suit at this point). He didn’t go anywhere without it. And , eventually he fell asleep as well.
In the morning the two had a long chat. It lasted hours before they came up with a plan. Midoriya was going pack to therapy. In addition he was going to take a few weeks off from teaching. As far as the kids knew he was visiting a friend in Othena. Of course, Eri knew the truth. She never told anyone though.
Nothing truly went back to how it was before the war, no one thought it would. Aizawa constantly checked on his student. After a while Mic did to. He saw the league less and less. He was happier, maybe happier than he’d ever been. He focused on his students and even got to start doing hero work again. Luckily, it did get better.