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Wile E. has been waiting for what feels like hours, standing on the sidewalk beneath a glowing streetlight. He crosses his arms and taps one foot against the concrete at a relentless pace. His posture remains stiff as he watches Kevin’s car pull along the edge of the curb.
Kevin rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I know I’m late. Get in.”
Wile E. doesn’t even bother to open the door as he scampers through the open car window and climbs inside. He lands in the seat in a crumpled ball of limbs and has to twist his every limb to get back to normal.
“I can explain, I swear. I have a very good reason for being late. Very important lawyer business.” Kevin puts his foot on the gas and feels the car hum to life. They set out onto the road back to the motel. It’s past sunset now, the time of night you’d begin to see the stars in Wile E.’s desert. He misses it.
Wile E. arches a thick, bushy brow. He doesn’t believe it for a second.
Kevin folds under absolutely zero pressure. “I was visiting Buddy Crane in prison.”
Wile E.’s eyes bulge out of his skull.
“I can explain!” Kevin shouts, again, even though it sounds a lot like he can’t explain. “It’s a long story,” he grumbles.
Wile E. tilts a large, furry ear to Kevin. He’s all ears. Mostly ears, rather.
Kevin lets out a long, deep sigh. Avoiding eye contact, he murmurs, “Buddy and I, we maybe, sort of, kind of… dated in college.”
Wile E.’s jaw drops all the way to his knees. He has to push it back up with a hand. It drops again. He pushes it up again. No use.
Kevin tries and fails to defend himself. “I know, I know. He’s evil now, I get that, loud and clear. But…” He flushes. “I don’t know. He just got admitted, and I’d feel like a complete doofus if I didn’t check on him.”
Wile E. is still flabbergasted beyond belief. He jabs a claw at Kevin’s chest, then pushes his fingers together and twists them together in an imitation of a kiss. He makes exaggerated, mocking kissing noises with his snout.
Kevin shoves Wile E.’s shoulder. “Shut up, man.” He sighs. His voice grows wistful. “It was like… it was sort of like that movie Legally Blonde. You ever seen that one?”
Wile E. blinks at Kevin. Once, twice, each with loud blinking noises.
Looking over to the coyote in his passenger seat, Kevin turns his attention back to the road as he turns. “Yeah. Yeah, of course you haven’t.”
A beat. “What I’m trying to get at is, we were in law school together, and I was kind of his mentor for a bit. I was a sophomore when he was a freshman, so I decided to kind of take him under my wing, show him around. I like to think I taught him everything he knows. We spent a lot of time together. And, of course, one thing led to another and… I don’t know. Stuff happened. It was great while it lasted, I guess. But at some point, he was talking about how much he wanted to work for ACME, and he just… became someone I didn’t recognize.”
As Kevin rambles, he seems to get lost in the memory, his tone wistful and full of longing. He nearly doesn’t recognize the red light as he screeches to a halt.
Wile E. pulls out a sign from behind his back. “WHAT HAPPENED AT PRISON?”
“Oh, nothing,” Kevin dismisses with a wave of his hand. “He just tried to bribe me to pay his bail. I said no. Obviously.” He laughs nervously, like he was considering it.
Wile E. silently laughs with grinning, sharp teeth. He then dissolves into slobbery kissing noises and rubbing himself over his back to mimic the silhouette of two people making out. His eyes even inflate into large, pink hearts.
“Oh my God, stop it!” Kevin takes a hand off the wheel to shove it in Wile E.’s face, but the coyote evades the touch easily. His gloating grin remains.
Kevin shakes his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts. “Whatever. It’s in the past now. It’s all behind us.” Desperate for a change in conversation, he turns his head quickly to look at Wile E.
“But enough about me and my boring love life! What about yours, huh? You got a lady coyote in your life?” An awkward pause. “Or a guy coyote.” Another awkward pause. “Or a coyote of any discernible gender.”
Wile E. shakes his head with a furrowed face. He points to the center of his chest, then holds one finger up.
Kevin nods. “Ah. A lone wolf, I see. Lone coyote, I mean. Sorry. That makes sense. Must not be very many options for a cartoon animal in the desert. And I guess chasing after the Road Runner takes up a lot of your time.”
Wile E. nods and leaves it at that. They fall into an odd silence as Kevin drives through downtown Albuquerque. As he does, the cogs in his brain begin to turn, and he gets an idea.
He looks over at Wile E., who is sticking his head out the window and letting his tongue fly in the air like a dog. “Unless…” he says, unable to mask his smirk, laughter beginning to bubble up. “What is it with you and that damn Road Runner, anyhow?”
Wile E.’s head whips around so fast it becomes a blurred smear. His mouth flounders for silent words. He fumbles as he pulls out his blank sign and taps it repeatedly.
“Yeah, no words, I know. Hey, it’s alright, buddy.” Still smiling, Kevin rubs his knuckles against the top of Wile E.’s head. “Love, hate, and… hunger… are all very, very similar emotions, for sure. He testified for you in court, remember? Said you two were friends? Maybe, once you catch him, you can take him out to dinner… before you eat him for dinner.”
But Wile E. isn’t listening. He’s bright red all the way to the tips of his ears, and it’s hard to tell if it’s from rage or flusteredness. As his thoughts drift to the Road Runner, as they always do, his pupils unconsciously morph into hearts.
“Oh, so cute!” Kevin beams when he notices.
Wile E. pulls out a sign. “SHUT THE #&%$ UP!!!”
“And look at that! Your tail’s wagging!”
Wile E. looks down at his butt and sees that, yep, his tail is wagging back and forth and bouncing against the car seat. He tries to calm it down, but to no avail. He gives up with a pout and a slouch.
Kevin’s laughter fades as they finally pull into the motel parking lot. He pulls into a spot and parks. The car is silent now. Too silent.
They don’t leave, not yet. Through the windshield, they stare up at the dark night sky. The moon hangs full and bright overhead. Wile E. reaches up towards it like a boulder so far out of his reach.
“We all love stuff we can’t have,” Kevin says. “And maybe Sisyphus loved his boulder, too.”