Chapter Text
The strings dig hard into Newt finger tips as he presses down onto the neck of the guitar, fingers moving quickly with every new chord. His right hand moves along the strings strumming them with his guitar pick. Mind silent as he moves his hands and fingers swiftly like mountain air.
He loves the feeling of hearing nothing but the sound of the gravely and sharp tunes coming from the amp. It quiets his thoughts, for once. That's why he's stuck with it for so long, each strum removes his thoughts as he focuses on the guitar below him. Whenever his mind races, he just goes straight to playing.
The song Seven Minutes in Heaven by mindless self indulgence plays as he's strumming along to it. It's one of his favourites, finding it when he was just thirteen- two years ago. It's the song he strums to whenever he just wants to play with no difficulty as he's played it so much- he plays it with ease and confidence.
"All this touching, all this touching, all this touching, all these faces, all this fun is overrated."
He begins playing the riff, fingers moving rapidly to the song. His fingers feel on fire, pressing hard on each metallic piece of wire.
It's not like he relates to the song, he's just a fifteen- nearly sixteen year old who never gets invited to any party's and playing seven minutes in heaven would be his worst nightmare, but the song strips his brain of his own mind. It's the next best thing other than playing. He's always loved rock music, the sharp, loudness of all the instruments combined with the loud vocals.
It's why he started up a rock band with his friends, wanting to play for someone more than just his mum and sister, Sonya. To feel something, to be on stage, having people cheer for him but not being in the centre. It's his favourite position to be in.
He finishes up the riff moving onto the chorus again.
Amongst all the noise of the strumming, he didn't notice someone coming into his room until he lifted his head from his guitar, eyes locking onto his fellow band mate and best friend- Minho.
A smile comes apon Newt's face, happy to see his best friend. He lifts his hands from the guitar, strap supporting it onto his shoulders. He grabs his phone- turning the music off.
Minho steps into the poster covered room. Though his face looks a bit off.
"You playing seven minutes in heaven? Something wrong?" Minho questions.
"Nah, just felt like playing something easy." Newt replies with ease.
"Oookay." Minho begins walking over to Newt's bed, plonking himself on it with a sigh. Despite Newt reassuring him, his face doesn't quite go back to normal.
"How are you feeling about school tomorrow? I mean you haven't been since everything happened..."
A slightly worried but sweet expression comes apon Minho's face. It's the face everyone does when they talk about Newt's attempt. He knows they're just worried but it still makes him feel so different especially for a thing that happened a whole year ago. He doesn't want to be perceived as a "baby" or to be treated as such. He just wants to be Newt.
"I'll be fine. I mean I don't want to go but yeah, I'll be okay." Newt reassures.
Minho's face softens and a small smile comes apon his mouth. "Yeah, who wants to go right?"
A smile covers Newt's face as a couple chuckles escape his throat.
"Yeah." He says with a grin.
Newt lifts the dark cherry red with a black border coloured guitar from his shoulders and puts it down head up.
As he does so Minho speaks. "Did you hear about that new kid? I'm not sure what his name is but I'm pretty sure he's American."
Newt lifts his head up and faces Minho. "I think he's moved into the house across the road. My mum said something about it the other day."
Minho hums and a smirk tugs at his lips.
Oh god. What is he thinking now.
Newt's face drops and goes completely flat. "Minho, what?"
Minho's smirk turns into a full grin, no hiding it now.
"Minho?..." Newt threatens.
"Well it's just, you know, if he's cute, you could date him." Minho talks like it obvious.
"We haven't even seen the guy and now you're trying to get us together? I haven't even been in a relationship before!"
"Exactly! He could be you're first. Anyways, boy next door- it's basically meant to be, come on." Minho says trying to sell his case.
Newt scoffs, there is no way he is being for real.
"What!?" The other boy defends, throwing his arms up. However he still has a wide grin.
Newt just laughs.
Where did he get this guy from?
"...Well we'll see if he's actually cute, then we can reassess." Newt settles on.
"Yes! Go get you're American guy!" Minho shouts enthusiastically.
Newt practically explodes with laughter after Minho's little pep talk. He may be stupid but he is still hilarious. Once the laughter settles down Newt replies.
"Actually maybe an American guy wouldn't be so bad." Newt wonders.
Minho hums turning his head to the side and lifting an eyebrow, corner of his mouth still lifted. Newt rolls his eyes, another chuckle coming out of his mouth.
This whole talk has kind of got him excited about going to school, maybe the new guy will be cute, and maybe he will have a chance. Well at least he hopes. Though he does need to see said boy before he sets his heart on him.
"Anyone your crushing on?" Newt asks while walking over to his small couch about six feet away from his bed where Minho is sat on. He sinks into the couch, putting his head back and relaxing.
"Well I do quite like Brenda but I don't know if I want to date a band member."
Newt hums. "Yeah that could cause problems. We could find you a guy or girl?" He asks, trying to find a solution.
"Yeah, that would probably be good. I do quite want to find a guy as I've never dated one before. It's always been just girls however I don't know if we could find any more guys in this shit town."
Newt chuckles. "Yeah maybe leave the guys for me, at least you like girls too."
"Yeah that is true, sorry mate." Minho seems to actually feel bad even though Newt was teasing.
"Hey don't worry about it, it's all good. I don't really care." Newt replies with.
Minho nods in reply.
Silence spreads across the room however it's not awkward, just peaceful. Though Newt eventually breaks the quiet.
"So how are you feeling about school?"
Minho thinks for a second before replying. "I'm sad we won't be able to have band practice everyday."
Newt hums. "Yeah I'm not super excited about that."
Minho chuckles a bit.
For the next hour they just talk- mostly just about anything really. That's what Newt likes about Minho- the conversations don't always need to be super serious or crazy, they can just mindlessly talk. Minho helped him vastly the couple months after he attempted. He was just someone who was there. In all the chaos Minho was there. That's why he's stuck around the boy for so long- even if he's stupid sometimes. He's a really good person, and Newt needs that.
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Newt sits outside after supper- he rests on the patio at the back of the house. The sun is just above the horizon painting the whole sky colors of pink, purple and orange. He has a cigarette placed in his right hand, smoke coming out of it. He knows he shouldn't smoke but it helps with his chronic pain that was caused from his attempt. It also helps calm his nerves which are racing- he just realised that he's going back to school after a year, and people are probably going to have questions.
He can't bear telling random class-mates about what happened, but he doesn't know what else to say. He's thought about saying he went to somewhere in Europe for a holiday, but it doesn't sound very convincing.
As his mind wonders he begins to think about that new kid, he has no idea who he is or what he's doing here but he sounds interesting- an American transfer student. Though he knows he probably won't make friends with him as Newt normally just sticks to himself and his friend group. However it would be nice to get to know him. Well he'll see what the guy is like tomorrow, at least there's something to be excited about he guesses.
Just when he wonders on the thought of this new kid he hears footsteps coming from inside- the living room, behind him. He looks back to see who it is- it's his mum.
His heart practically drops to his stomach.
He quickly goes to put out his cigarette on a stone to his right but his mum is already on the patio and she has seemed to see the cigarette as her face completely drops and her eyes grow narrow. She does know he smoked when he was fourteen and things were bad but she helped him quit, however she has no idea he still does it sometimes.
He just stops, knowing she has already seen it, he looks to her who just looks blank. He's unable to read her face.
"Is that a cigarette, Newt?" She asks weary.
The look on her face makes Newt's heart ache with sorrow. She looks worried like her son will try and kill himself again.
"It's just because I'm nervous about school okay mum? It's nothing else I promise, I'll stop again after this one." He says already knowing what she's thinking.
She then goes to sit next to Newt on the patio, she moves hesitantly.
She sits down with a big sigh and replies. "Newt I know your worried about school and everything but you can't resort back to smoking. Your only fifteen."
Newt drops his head into his hands just wanting to disappear from this whole conversation- dragging his hand down his face. "I promise I'll stop after this one, my leg is just killing right now and people are gonna ask about it all tomorrow." He says muffled into his palms.
"I understand just please stop after this one."
Newt lifts his head and looks into his mum's eyes. They look hollow and lifeless almost, he feels as if it's his fault because of everything that has happened, he's practically dragged the woman along with him through every struggle. He's feels like a burden to everyone- he has to stop and have a break because his leg is aching- now everyone has to stop, he's upset and won't come out of his room- everyone comforts him. He just drags everyone along through his stupid brain.
He then nods, however knowing himself, he will probably still smoke. It's one of the only things that helps.
"Okay." His mum replies, she pushes a smile onto her face, though Newt can tell it's not genuine.
"Is there anything you would like to talk about?" She follows up with.
He thinks for a while but then the thought of the new guy pops into his head. "Who's that family? The one across the street."
"Those are the Greene's. They moved in a couple days ago, there's a boy around your age- I think his name is... Thomas? I'm not quite sure, you guys might get along though, I think he's starting school you could show him around."
"Yeah, thanks mum."
"Of course." She replies, voice warm and inviting even when she is so worried.
She then puts her arm around Newt and letting him put his head onto her shoulder. He does so but he has to bend his neck lots with how tall he is compared to his mother.
They stay there for the next ten minutes- watching the sun go down and the sky turn navy blue. Newt knows it's not exactly "normal" to be this close with his mother as a teenage boy in this generation but honestly he doesn't care. Because when has he ever been normal? He's always been different pretty much ever since he was born and he's okay with that. Why would he want to be normal he likes being himself?
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Later that night when it's dark, only the moonlight illuminating the sky Newt sits on his bed, drawing. He's got headphones in listening to soft rock.
"Newt." He hears muffled into his headphones.
He looks up to see Sonya, her almost white blonde hair up in a messy bun while in a baggy t-shirt and flared leggings.
Newt takes off his headphones and puts his pencil and sketchbook down.
"Hey." He says a smile coming apon his face.
Sonya just smiles back and skips over to Newt's bed plonking herself on the bed near Newt's legs.
"What's up?" Newt asks.
"I was just wondering how you were feeling about school? I assume not good."
"Yeah, I'm not feeling the best about it. People are just gonna ask me constantly about what happened, even if their popular and I've never talked to them before." Newt says honestly, he can speak completely freely with Sonya, which he loves.
"Yeah, I'm sorry Newt. That's really horrible."
Newt just hums.
However when he least expected it Sonya practically jumped at him, wrapping her arms around the boy.
"Woah, Sonya!" Newt shouts trying to get some personal space.
Instead of stopping though Sonya just giggles looking up at Newt while he rolls his eyes.
"Okay seriously get off now." Newt says still grinning while pushing the girl off of himself.
"Excuse me." Sonya says while Newt pushes her off.
She eventually stands after much struggle. "How dare you."
"How dare you come into my room and invade my space!" He says defending himself.
They burst into a fit of giggles.
Newt loves just full hearty laughing with his sister and enjoying life for once. It's nice to feel finally.
After a good couple minutes of laughter they finally calm down and say their good nights.
"Good night then." Sonya says, smile still spread across her face.
"Good night."
She then makes her way over to the door looking back one last time giving him a smile before walking through the door. It closes with a squeak and then it's completely silent.
He then checks the time on his clock.
10:30.
It's earlier than he normally goes to bed but honestly he needs the extra sleep for whatever tommrow will entail.
He puts his sketchbook and headphones to the side and turns his lamp off, darkness spreads over the room.
He then closes his eyes though all he can think about is tomorrow. He's not prepared for everything people are going to say.
While he stays on that thought he begins falling asleep. His mind shuts off and his body relaxes.