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He only had about a month left before he'd graduate junior high, and he was set to go to an elite high school in Shinjuku. How he managed to get accepted was something beyond himself, considering his lackluster presence. It was a benefit that he could achieve high enough scores that met the school's thresholds.
Either way, he'd be too late to make it to class without drawing attention to himself. He laid his head on his desk and yawned again, winded by the amount of sleep he got last night. That alone was a miracle; usually he'd wake up in the early hours of the morning after three to five hours of sleep.
Knock-knock. "Rui, are you still asleep?"
His mom was home?
He straightened up looked at the date on his monitor. February 10th. That's when his mom should come back from another trip for work. Time flew faster than he could process, huh?
"I'm up," he called out.
He heard his mom sigh through the door. "You're late for school. I still made breakfast, but it got cold at the table. I'll heat it up for you."
"Thanks."
Her footsteps dwindled to a silent thump that soon faded away, and Rui slumped over his desk once more. The last thing he wanted was for his mother to see him like this. His hair was a mess, he hadn't changed out of his clothes since yesterday, and he couldn't remember the last time he took a shower. Regardless of how he felt, he still had to leave his bedroom lest he catches his mom's undivided attention. He pried open his closet doors and threw out a random shirt and pants. He isn't the fashionista here, though he could imagine Mizuki's disgust at the neon colors. Or would it be the patterns that irked her?
It felt disgusting to slip out of his clothes and drag on some new ones, like painting over a stack of cobwebs. He ran a hand through his hair, which ended with a lot of knots he pulled through. A few hair strands came out in the process. He still brushed through every knot with his fingers, detangling it to the best of his ability. He'll pick up the wasted hair strands later.
He opened his door and headed to the bathroom to at least get rid of the filth stewing in his gums. A bit of brushing and some mouthwash did the trick. He could spend another minute or two brushing his teeth, but time moved so quickly and every limb he dragged couldn't keep up. He should be heading out of the bathroom by now, but he found himself gripping the edges of the sink and steeling himself in the sea of his dread.
He took a deep breath in, then drew it out. With another breath, he stashed his toothbrush and gripped the doorknob a beat too long before opening the bathroom door. He sat down at the kitchen table before he realized he even made it there.
Rui should greet his mom. Say hello, good morning, or ask how her job went. Though, in his disheveled mess, the seconds ticked by and the timing of the conversation would be awkward. He should just ask it now, but the words never left his mouth. 'Missed opportunity,' he could imagine Nene muttering. The conversation, instead, began with a plate of omurice placed before his weary eyes.
"I know your dad and I can be gone for so long, but I'm starting to get worried." His mother held caution in her tone and as if she were dealing with a fragile object. "Your school has called to tell me you've missed a lot of days in the last month. What's going on?"
Rui picked up his head. He made the mistake of looking at her knitted expression. It was filled with so much concern and care, and he thought—no, he should have known he shouldn't have let things get this bad. He should have taken care of himself better, or maybe even set an alarm to wake up earlier (even though he always wakes up early), but what version of him even merits that? If his own mother were to find out he chose to be this careless, would she still hold that concern for him? Would she still love him, undeserved as it was?
"I'm alright." He kept his voice even. "I've just been oversleeping a lot."
No, he hasn't. He hasn't had proper sleep in days, save for last night.
"I have a lot of projects that I couldn't get my mind off, so I focused a lot of my time on that."
No, he doesn't. Most of his projects are unfinished garbage that barely got an audience out in public.
He didn't bother to look at his mother's expression after that. He opted to pick up his chopsticks and actually start eating the food his mother graciously cooked for him. Omlette and rice, the usual since his distaste for vegetables knows no bounds. Since he didn't get a proper meal in days, most of the food felt heavy in his stomach. There wasn't a lot of food, to his relief, so it went down easily in silence. Silence, being his mother having nothing to add to the conversation after what he said. Did he say something wrong?
He set his chopsticks down after he took his last bite. He did leave a few grains of rice and some omlette bits behind, but he couldn't take any more than that. How ungrateful of him.
"You could always talk to me about anything, sweetie." His mom was sitting up straight, holding that tight expression she'd been wearing since Rui saw her. "You know that, right?"
She didn't need to care about him. All his life, she wanted to make him feel welcome wherever he went, never afraid to hide who he truly is. Sure, that's the case nowadays, and he truly is happy with what he has. Really, he is! He's blessed with a genius like no other that surely impressed that elite high school enough to admit him, and his inventive ideas are so outlandish people can't believe he'll go to hell and back to make it possible! He is the manifestation of Jules Verne's works, stories of adventurers that sought to prove the existence or discover troves of information on folk tales and legends that pass through the streets. And yet, the greedy longing that sits in his heart, undefined and irrational, is what he blames his poor choices on. He is a terrible liar.
"I've just been in a slump, but I'll be fine." He tugged a smile onto his face and kept his eyes half-lidded to not scare her away. "Do you mind if I take today off? I'll need it to get my bearings."
His mother's shoulders slumped, but her expression relaxed. "Alright, then. Let me know if you need anything."
For the rest of the day, Rui tried (and failed) to keep up with chores around the household. Cleaning wasn't his favorite thing to do, but his mother just came back from a long work-trip, so it was the least he could do. He wasn't in a mood to playfully bicker with her about it. Despite his sense of morale telling him to get up and work, he found himself at his desk most of the day, picking apart a few recycled electronics he pulled out of his old shelves. It was fun, and stimulating enough to keep him from slumping back onto his sofa and drowning in his dreams.