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Cool hands stroked his burning face, a soft voice told him it would be okay, it would all be over soon… with the creak of a door, a tearful girl appeared and whispered she’d had a nightmare… those same cool hands were everywhere, clutching him close, he groaned her name as she whispered in his ear…
Daniel lurched up in bed and his glasses clattered to the floor. A small, dark shape threw a shadow on the floor from the doorway, and as Daniel scrambled for his bearings she crept into the room and flicked the lamp on. She pressed his glasses into his hands with a murmured apology, but Daniel didn’t need them to know who she was.
The small woman with the sad eyes and the gentle hands, the one who had returned the glasses in the first place. She wasn’t wearing white now, and without the long coat she seemed more fragile, somehow, like she’d lost her armor. Instead she drowned in a faded University of Chicago sweatshirt she had rolled up past her wrists. There was no way it was hers, but there was no sense of wrongness. It felt completely natural, as if no one else could conceivably wear it.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t sure if you’d be awake.” Her hands fluttered over his face, his arms, but she didn’t touch him. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah,” Daniel said automatically, though his heart continued to thrum as he looked up at her. The lamp light softened the lines of her face and gave her a dreamlike glow. He touched her hand, just to make sure she was real, and she went deadly still at the contact. “Yeah, I’m fine. I haven’t been sleeping much, anyway.”
“You looked like you were having a bad dream.” ‘Bad’ was leagues away from the right word, not when he could still feel her breath on his neck and her hands on his chest. He cleared his throat.
“No, uh- a little confusing, maybe.”
“I don’t doubt it.” Her face fell and he followed her gaze- he’d fallen asleep holding the photograph and knocked it sideways in his violent awakening. She picked it up with reverent hands and ran her fingers over the other woman’s face.
“I remember her.” Her eyes darted to his. “I dreamed about her- her name is Sha’re.” She had reached for him in his dream, laughing, and he’d squinted in the sun. But he couldn’t grasp her, she had slipped away and no matter how far he had chased her, he never got any closer. Janet nodded slowly. “I loved her very much.”
“Yes.” Without looking at him, she sat next to him on the bed, still looking at the photograph as if she expected Sha’re to speak to her.
“You loved her, too.” Her lips twitched up, and she held out the photograph for him to take.
“She was my best friend. I don’t know how we would have survived without her.” Daniel took the photograph and ran his hands over the frame, frowning at her as Sha’re smiled up at both of them.
“She’s gone now.” She nodded, face flickering with too many feelings for him to define. Grief, regret, guilt- he felt a brief flare of frustration that he couldn’t keep up. As if her expressions were his native language and he’d suddenly forgotten how to read.
“Three years ago.” And he’d been gone for one, so he’d gotten to grieve her for two. Maybe that was why the confirmation was only a brief pang that softened at the edges, more sadness than pain.
“Your name is Janet.” She studied his face with an indecipherable look, and again he felt as though he should have been able to decode it.
“Did they tell you?” she asked, and he shook his head.
“No, I-” His dream flashed behind his eyes in snippets- her lips on his cheek- tears streaming down her face- her hands clenched in his hair- “-I remember.”
Janet frowned at him for a long moment. She searched his face- maybe for the man she had known, Daniel thought, and he wondered if she saw him.
“Do you know me?” If not for the perfect stillness in her body, they could have been back in the infirmary with her asking to count backwards by sevens. Her voice was even almost to the point of disinterest. Daniel swallowed.
“I feel like I do. I-” He wanted to touch her arm, saw it in his mind as if he’d already done it, but he kept his hand at his side. “It’s flashes. I know there’s more. It’s just coming in pieces that don’t quite go together.” In a barely noticeable twitch, her lips pulled down at the corners. “Yet,” Daniel hurried to add.
“Hm.” She clasped her hands together in her lap and pushed her shoulders back, face carefully composed as she asked, “What do you remember?”
“About you?” Daniel chased down memories and impressions like smoke in the wind, something beyond the vivid image of her body under his. “Your name is Janet. You’re a doctor.” He stole a glance at her, hoping for a suggestion of a smile, but her expression didn’t twitch. In his mind he blinked open bleary eyes to her concerned face peering down at him- small hands dabbed at a stinging cut on the back of his head- a bright light shone in his eyes, momentarily whiting out her disapproving grimace- “You took care of me a lot.”
“Yes.” Her face softened, just slightly, as if she were scared of showing too much. “You could never stay out of the infirmary for long.”
“Yeah, but that wasn’t just about getting hurt.” Janet’s face smoothed out again, and Daniel narrowed his eyes as he examined her. “Right?” She didn’t answer, and Daniel’s fingers clenched briefly around the framed photo before he carefully set it back on the bedside table. Janet gave him a sidelong look, following his movements.
“Janet, there was- we were-” Janet’s nostrils flared and she moved to stand, but Daniel grabbed her wrist. “Please.” Mouth tight, she sat back down, but didn’t look at him. Every movement she made was deliberate, restrained, and for some reason that made the situation feel much more volatile. “We were together, right?” Otherwise, his former self had had some very realistic dreams.
Janet took a shuddering breath and swallowed back whatever words she wanted to say. “I don’t think-”
“Just yes or no.” Daniel clenched his hands in the bedspread to keep from inching closer to her. She stared at him with wary, deeply tired eyes, and after a long moment she nodded once. Again he wanted to touch her, kiss her, taste her- he remembered cool hands on his shoulders, were they always that cold?
Daniel took a deep, slow breath and held it just long enough for his heart rate to slow. He let out the air in a puff, and Janet watched him as if he were about to attack her. “How long?”
Janet shot to her feet and rapidly crossed the room, and for one throat-closing moment Daniel thought she was heading for the door. But she halted a few feet away, safely out of reach with her chin tucked and her arms tightly crossed. Her hair shifted, spiky strands barely brushing her shoulders, and Daniel frowned at the nape of her neck. Her head snapped straight before she spoke.
“It’s probably best to let it come back naturally. I only have my memories, I don’t know what it looked like for you.” Her shoulders scrunched an inch higher. “I don’t want to confuse you.”
Desperate as he was for answers, part of him knew that pushing her would probably only succeed in driving her out the door. Daniel leaned forward but stayed seated.
“Okay.” He pursed his lips at the back of her head, and her shoulders sagged back down at his lack of resistance. “What about you?” She cocked her head, then turned to face him with a curious frown.
“What about me?” Daniel shrugged and gave her a rueful look.
“Everything. Anything.” He looked around the concrete, eclectically decorated room. He couldn’t put a name to any of the strange objects Jack had scattered across every available surface, but his hands had known how to hold them properly, had been prepared for the weight of them. “How did you end up here?” She raised one eyebrow and tilted her head.
“I drove.” Daniel grimaced, but it finally pulled a hint of a smile from her. “It’s a lot faster than walking.”
“Yes, I know what driving is.” And he did, as if he had opened a filing cabinet and blown off a layer of dust. Cars, roads, traffic lights- it slotted into place as if it had always been there, he just hadn’t been able to access it. “I mean-” He gestured around the room. “-here. The stargate, this base- how did you become part of all this?”
“You’re asking how a nice girl like me ended up in a place like this?” Daniel didn’t pretend to understand, but he couldn’t summon any irritation when she smiled at her own joke. “You were a big part of it, actually. I was part of the first mission to Abydos.” Without his consent, Daniel’s eyes flicked to the picture of Sha’re. Janet’s voice softened. “That’s where we met her.”
“I was there to make the gate work.” A smattering of stars- Orion, the Hunter, cursed to flee Scorpius for all eternity- a burst of energy like a geyser, terrifying and wondrous- a dark pyramid, symbols cracked and faded- “And Jack was there to keep us safe.” Flinching at barked commands- a hand on his arm dragging him out of danger- “Why did they send a doctor?”
“Monitor the health and of the team and treat any injuries or illnesses that occurred while cut off from Earth.” Janet shrugged. “Or forever, if that’s what it came to.”
He could see her on a sandy planet, shrouded from the sun, shaking sand out of her longer hair. It had been longer, it had curled around his hands, silky and soft. It was a real, solid memory, and Daniel clung to it.
“And you were okay with that?”
“With not coming home?” Janet considered, and uncrossed her arms to lean back on one of the many overflowing dressers. Her elbow teetered precariously over an ancient Egyptian canopic jar, and Daniel blinked as the words “Egyptian canopic jar” dropped into his mind without any other prompt. “‘Okay’ might not be the right word, but…” Her face shuttered, a small crease between her eyebrows. “I accepted the risk. Those were my orders.”
“Because you’re in the Air Force, like Jack.”
“And Sam, and pretty much everyone else on this base,” Janet answered, and Daniel nodded slowly. There had been a uniform earlier, but not like Jack’s green and black. When she’d examined him in the infirmary, she had been wearing two different shades of blue under her white coat. They had come into focus as a blouse and skirt after she’d returned his glasses.
“And you’re a doctor.”
“Mm-hm.” She scrutinized his face, and Daniel stared right back, glad she wasn’t shying away anymore.
“Why?” She blinked.
“I don’t see how that’ll help you remember.”
“It won’t.” Daniel shoved his glasses up his face, and her eyes softened. “I mean, it could, I suppose, but that’s not why I’m asking. I’m just curious.”
Janet had to consider that for a moment. “Okay.” She frowned at the wall as she gathered her thoughts and Daniel took the opportunity to ogle her unabashedly. He traced the lines of her neck down the oversized sweatshirt to her long fingers curled back around the top of the dresser. Daniel firmly averted his eyes as a rush of heat spiked through him, along with more memories that weren’t helpful at the moment. Well-worn jeans comfortably hugged her legs, along with the sweatshirt draped halfway down her thighs. Daniel honed in on the seam of the jeans, imagined tracing it with his fingers, slipping under the sweatshirt-
“I wanted to help people is the short version. And- well-” Her lips twitched almost sheepishly. “I did always wonder what made people tick. How they worked on the inside.” Daniel raised his eyebrows.
“So you became a doctor to find out?”
“Not quite.” Her voice was defensive, but she was smiling. “If you want me to tell you one deciding moment…” Her eyes clouded with memories. “When I was little, I was skating with a friend and we fell through the ice. I remember when they got her out, I thought she was dead.” Janet swallowed. “She was so blue, and she wasn’t moving. But when the paramedics got us to the hospital…” Janet shrugged with half a smile. “They fixed her. Now I know it was just a matter of stabilizing and rewarming, but then, it seemed like a superpower.” Janet crossed her arms loosely over her chest again, but her posture was more relaxed. “I liked fixing things. I wanted to fix people.” Her eyes shadowed as she said it, and Daniel sensed that was another area where he wouldn’t get many answers.
“What about the Air Force?” Sam’s bafflement at his lack of curiosity over his past flitted through his mind, and he wondered if this incessant questioning was more like himself. Janet didn’t seem surprised- she didn’t tell him to go to sleep, or wait for his memories to return on their own.
She took the question as seriously as he meant it, taking another moment to think before she answered. “I wanted to serve my country. And what was going on in the Gulf…” The shadow returned, briefly wiping the emotion from her face as she got lost in a place Daniel couldn’t follow. “I felt like it was my duty to help.” Her face cleared slightly. “It wasn’t a very popular decision at home, but that wasn’t exactly a shock.”
Daniel’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?” Even without the vague familiarity her story inspired, it seemed perfectly reasonable for her to go above and beyond to help people. That was a truth he could accept with no reservations.
“I was married.” A tiny smirk curled on her lips when Daniel blinked, stunned. “After I joined the Air Force, I wasn’t married anymore.” Daniel just stared at her until she elaborated. “I got a divorce.”
“Well-” Daniel grimaced. “Yes, I gathered that.” They sized each other up, Janet with an easy smile and tilted head, Daniel with narrowed eyes. She didn’t seem malicious, but she definitely enjoyed wrong-footing him. It didn’t feel new. “Was it a mutual decision?”
“In the sense that he chose to get another woman pregnant and I chose to end the marriage.” The outrage that rose in his chest was familiar, as was her blasé attitude in response. She shrugged, unconcerned. “There were other problems before that.”
“Oh, well it’s nice he didn’t jump straight to infidelity.” Janet tilted her head in a way that made Daniel feel a little ridiculous for being so rankled.
“It was a long time ago,” she said, as if that made it less of an injustice.
“How long before we got married?” It was a bold, brash question, mostly because Daniel couldn’t say with any certainty that he and Janet had been married at all. But she confirmed it as her entire body stiffened and her nostrils flared.
“You remember that?” Daniel waved his hand so-so.
“Mostly.” She raised her eyebrows, and he admitted, “No.” Before she could retreat back into herself, he hurried to add, “I remember other things, though.” This time, he wasn’t shy about dragging his gaze down her body, undressing her inch by inch and letting instinct build the picture from memories just out of grasp. He could almost feel her skin under his hands, her ribs expanding with a gasp, her pulse under his tongue…
Janet shifted her weight, flexing her fingers and avoiding his eyes. “Sense memories are some of the strongest,” she said, as if the scientific rationale were being dragged out of her.
“Yeah.” Daniel’s mouth was dry as she finally met his gaze, wary and unsure and the tiniest bit heated. “Makes sense.”
“I should go.” Janet tried to slip past the bed, chin tucked to her chest, but with lightning reflexes he didn’t know he possessed, Daniel leaped out of the bed and grabbed her arm. She froze at his touch.
“Janet.” She closed her eyes, but Daniel wasn’t sure whether it was in surrender or to block him out. At an agonizing pace, Daniel took another step that brought him almost flush to her back. He raised his other hand and ghosted his fingers over her arm, and she took a sharp breath. Her hair didn’t settle over her shoulder how he remembered- he had to sweep one hand through the short strands to hold it off her neck. Gently and so, so slowly, Daniel nuzzled her neck before he dropped a featherlight kiss just below her jaw.
With a deep, unwinding sigh, Janet let her head fall to the side to grant him access. With a small tug he drew her flush against him, and the curves of her felt like home. He trailed lingering, deliberate kisses down her neck, pausing to suck on her pulse point before he tugged her sweatshirt to the side and traveled down to her shoulder.
“Daniel…” His fingers tightened on her arms and he had to lean his forehead to her shoulder to keep from making a drastic move. “Wait.” Daniel stayed where he was, praying that even if he couldn’t go further, she wouldn’t ask him to let go.
She pulled away but it was just to turn around, and her deep brown eyes bore up into his as he swept his hands up and down her arms. “You don’t remember.”
“But I know.” As deeply as he now knew his name was Daniel, that he needed water to live, that the sky was blue, he knew. She shook her head.
“But there’s still-” She cut herself off, biting her lip as she searched his face. She hooked a finger in the waistband of his pajama pants. “There’s still Cassie.”
Daniel frowned, and for a moment his mind was blank. Janet looked anxiously up at him, waiting for his reaction, and Daniel used half his brain to cup her cheeks while the other half frantically searched for any reference to a Cassie. He froze.
“She-” He tapped his fingers on Janet’s shoulder in an imitation of something called a ‘scale,’ though he couldn’t have described one if he’d tried. Janet met him where he was, understood what he was trying to convey. She nodded.
“Piano. You’re right.” Images flashed by and Daniel squeezed his eyes shut. A little girl with light brown hair streaming behind her as he pushed her on a swing- shouting matches at the table over a dinner that never got touched- a head on his shoulder after he’d managed to come home again, somehow-
“We have a daughter.” Janet nodded, and when he opened his eyes hers were shining with tears.
“Mm-hm. That’s why we got married, so I could adopt her. And then we- well-” Daniel trailed his fingers down her arms, took her hands, and stepped back. Seemingly without her consent, her legs carried her towards him. “I don’t want you to feel pressured to come back to something that-” The backs of his knees hit the mattress and he sat, dropping her hands to run his hands down her thighs. “Something that was never supposed to be permanent.” Daniel applied light pressure to the backs of her knees and she straddled his lap, her mouth still evidently not connected to the rest of her body. “It might be best if you take a few days to think, see if more memories come back.” Daniel wrapped his arms around her, fingers splayed on her back, and buried his face in her neck.
“I’m sorry I left you,” he said, and truly felt like the scum of the earth. But she stayed in his lap, arms locked around his neck. “Both of you. Did I-?” He nuzzled her neck and held her closer. “Did I have a choice?”
In the long pause that followed, Janet traced her fingers up and down his back, and even without the benefits of his memories Daniel couldn’t imagine a good enough reason to leave her.
“No,” she said simply. “I acted like you did, so I could stay angry, but-” She shook her head. “You were dead the second you were exposed to that radiation. Everything after was just waiting for you to-” She took a sharp breath, and Daniel leaned back just enough to kiss her.
Her lips were soft and hesitant against his, but after a half-second to catch up she threaded a hand through his hair and kissed him back. There were no words for the blazing energy in Daniel’s chest- fireworks, his mind whispered- or the path of sparks her hand trailed up his back until she grabbed his shoulder and arched into him. Daniel groaned, a sound that surprised him, and his fingers dug into her back to keep her tight against him.
“Janet,” he mumbled, a question, a statement, the only word he could get out. He kissed her chin, her jaw, until she whimpered and grabbed his face to drag him back to her lips.
She shifted closer, thighs bracketing his hips, and Daniel slipped his hands under the red sweatshirt. He rolled the fabric between his fingers, and when he broke away for air he looked down at it.
“This was mine.”
Janet touched her nose to his cheek, and there was a smile in her voice when she answered. “Not in a long time.” Daniel fleetingly thought that it probably looked better on her, anyway, before she grabbed the hem and peeled it up over her head. Underneath was a black tank top that did nothing to hide her curves or her cleavage, and before she even tossed the sweatshirt aside he attacked the newly exposed skin with hot, open-mouthed kisses. Janet’s head fell back and Daniel wanted to touch everything, kiss every inch, he didn’t know where to start.
Her fingers hooked in his t-shirt and dragged it over his head, and her small hands on his bare chest sparked a thousand more memories Daniel didn't chase, opting instead to stay in the current moment. She pushed him back onto the mattress, but instead of following him she just looked, straddling his hips.
He gripped her hips, fingers sliding beneath the tank top to warm, soft skin underneath. She ran her hands down his chest, drinking in every inch. Her thumb brushed over a spot low on his stomach, and she frowned as if she had confirmed a theory that didn’t really make sense.
“What is it?” Daniel spread his hands on her back, urging her to lean over, but she stayed where she was.
“You don’t have a-” She paused, and her frown deepened. “You have an appendix.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Daniel peered up at her, again attempting to decipher an expression that should have been clear to him.
“No.” Her fingers ran over his stomach. “Just interesting.” Daniel tightened his hands on her hips.
“Interesting?” he asked, almost pained, and she smirked.
“I saw it on your CT scan. It just looks different.” Before Daniel could draw enough breath to say he didn’t remember what CT scans were but he definitely did not want to talk about them, she shifted back, bent down, and pressed her lips to a patch of skin on his lower right abdomen. Daniel took a sharp breath through his nose and her lips curved into a smile against his skin.
She didn’t linger, wandering lazily across his stomach and up his chest. Her lips left patches of fire all over his skin, and by the time she reached his neck Daniel had to fight for coherence.
“You see what I mean?” she asked, looking smug as she hovered over him, hair falling around her face.
“What?” He shoved the tank top up her back and brushed the clasp of her bra. “Oh, yeah. Very interesting.”
Janet stirred, and Daniel tugged the blanket up over her shoulders. She had her head on his shoulder and one leg hooked between his, and her skin had rapidly cooled in the open air. Daniel stroked her hair, fondling the short strands to catalogue the feeling. The flashes still weren’t falling into a coherent timeline, but he didn’t think he’d ever felt her hair like this. He had memories of running his fingers through it, pulling out pins, brushing it aside to rub her shoulders, but none of the soft little pinpricks he felt now.
Janet’s hand crept up from his chest to cup his cheek, and she pressed a sleepy kiss to his jaw. “I need to go.” Part of him had been expecting it, but his arm still tightened around her.
“Stay.” He kissed her forehead and she sighed. “Just a little longer.” She hesitated, but shook her head.
“I have to get back to Cassie.” Her thumb brushed his cheek, but before she could withdraw her hand he took it and pressed his lips to her palm.
“Will you come back later?” He half-thought the shaking uncertainty in his voice should have felt pathetic, but it was just honesty. Janet went with honesty, with revealing the deepest parts of himself. Even if he didn’t know the deepest parts of himself anymore, he trusted her with them.
Janet pushed herself up onto her elbow and looked down at him. The red flush had faded but she still had a rosy, satisfied glow that made Daniel unreasonably smug. She brushed her fingers over his eyebrow and down his jaw before she nodded. “Yes, I will.”
“Good.” She shifted to roll over but he held her hand. “Can I-?” He cleared his throat and avoided her curious eyes. “When you think she’s ready, when the time is right- can I see Cassie?”
Janet’s eyes softened with aching tenderness, and she leaned back over to press a lingering kiss to his lips. Daniel cupped the back of her head and deepened it, holding out for every second he could get. When she broke away he didn’t try to lure her back, as tempted as he was.
He sat up and watched as she hunted down her haphazard clothes, and tracked her hands as she pulled on her panties and jeans. He knew that track, too, now, his hands had followed the same path. She clipped her bra back on and slipped the tank top over her head, but as she passed him to pick up the sweatshirt he snagged her wrist. He tugged her between his knees and wrapped his arms around her, pressing his face to her chest.
She looped her arms around his neck and laid her cheek on his head, one hand carding through his hair.
“Sweet dreams,” he mumbled, lulled towards sleep by her heartbeat under his cheek.
“Hm.” Janet kissed his head. “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.” She gently broke away to collect her sweatshirt. On her way out, she caught his chin for one more kiss, and next thing Daniel knew she was opening the door. There was still an SF outside, a different man than who had been there when Jack had wished Daniel goodnight. He kept his eyes straight ahead as Janet turned back in the doorway.
“Goodnight,” she said quietly.
“Goodnight.”
She shut the door and Daniel flopped back in bed, certain he would spend the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, waiting for her to come back.
But sleep came swiftly, and he dreamed of cool hands and short, soft hair.
“Anyway, that’s my opinion. What do you think?” Daniel blinked and broke his blank stare at his half-empty coffee cup. Jack raised his eyebrows, french fry halfway to his mouth. “Hello? Anyone home?”
“Um-” Daniel shook his head to clear it. “Sorry, what were you saying?” Jack stared at him and Daniel frowned back, his mind already starting to wander away again.
He’d spent the morning tagging along after Jack through hallways he couldn’t navigate if he tried, but if he just let his feet take him, he ended up where he wanted to go. That was how he’d found the infirmary after breakfast with Jack, Sam, and Teal’c- he’d wanted to find Janet and had found himself where she was supposed to be. Not today, though, he’d been informed by an awkward, apologetic nurse. Dr. Fraiser had been given the day off, but Dr. Warner was there if he needed anything. Not exactly helpful when what he needed was to see Janet.
From there he’d found his friends again, in a classified briefing with General Hammond. Prudence had told him to wait, but he’d found himself climbing the stairs and hurrying in like he belonged there. Hammond’s permission had almost been a given, and Daniel supposed that was probably arrogant of him, but sitting down at the long, polished table had been as natural as pulling on the black t-shirt and green fatigues that had been left in the closet for him.
More memories filtered through as they concluded the briefing, other meetings in that room with those people, ranging from ridiculous to dire. It was still more holes than substance, but Daniel had found that every memory led to another, if he let himself be swept up in it. Singing plants and cavemen and a padded room- it didn’t all make sense, but it was there.
There were memories of Janet, too, sad and sweet and irritating and everything in between, but if Daniel let himself go down that particular path, he had a suspicion he would only frustrate Jack further.
“As I was saying-” Daniel shot to his feet and Jack jumped, cursing as he dropped a french fry in his lap. “What-?”
Janet found him almost instantly, and gave him a tentative smile and wave. Before Daniel could abandon Jack without another word, she made her way through the commissary, nodding at the respectful greetings she got along the way. Something was wrong with the picture, and Daniel frowned briefly before he realized the issue: she wasn’t in uniform. All his memories of her in this base featured her in her blue blouse, navy skirt, and long white coat- except, of course, the night before. Watching her walk across the commissary in white capris and a soft pink top was incongruous enough that she made it to the table before Daniel got his bearings.
“Hey.” She wound her fingers together, squeezing her own hands so tightly her knuckles turned white. Daniel swallowed.
“Hey.”
“How are you feeling?” she asked, and Daniel stuffed his hands in his pockets, reminding himself to breathe around his heart fluttering like a caged hummingbird.
“Good. Yeah, it’s- it’s, um-” He gestured vaguely around his own head. “Good.”
“Good.” She stared up at him, something between hope and anxiety in her face, and Daniel couldn’t drag his gaze from the deep, warm brown of her eyes. They must have always looked like that, obviously, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever noticed how ensnaring-
“Yeah, everything’s peachy.” Janet’s eyes shot to Jack, and Daniel suppressed a sigh. “Care to join us, Doc?”
“No, thank you, sir,” Janet said just a smidge too quickly, and Jack gave her an exaggerated mockery of a gracious bow. She ignored him, turning back to Daniel. “I actually need to borrow Daniel for a few minutes.”
“Of course,” he said instantly, and gestured for her to lead the way. Jack rolled his eyes and muttered something about crazy kids as Daniel followed her out of the commissary.
She walked with purpose, her heels clicking down the hall in a familiar pattern. Personnel parted before her like the Red Sea, not out of fear but the simple knowledge that if they didn’t move they would be run over.
“Janet-” A trio of frazzled, white-coat scientists stormed by, arguing about radiation and quasars. Janet punched the elevator button and they packed in with five other people on the ride to Level 21. By the time the doors finally opened, Daniel was ready to crawl out of his skin. Janet edged out of the elevator and Daniel stumbled as he followed, failing to notice at least two people’s feet and hastily apologizing.
“I think we should talk, but not here,” Janet said, matter-of-fact as they strode down the hall.
The base was still a maze to Daniel, and he sent a quick, silent thank you to whichever designer had decided to stamp “STORAGE” on one of the doors.
“I wanted to check- Daniel- what are you-?” One hand tight around her wrist, Daniel dragged her into the storage closet. Lights switched on automatically as they entered, illuminating several rows of utilitarian shelving. Not that Daniel paid any mind to the scenery- he was too busy slamming the door and shoving Janet against it. He kissed her desperately, as if he hadn’t seen her less than twelve hours ago, and after a surprised squeak Janet kissed him back. He threaded her fingers with his and held her hands against the door, pressing his body flush to hers. Her lips parted with a sigh and the kiss deepened, and Daniel savored every long, languid second until they had to come up for air. He leaned his forehead to hers as she caught her breath.
“So how are you?” he asked casually, and she grinned.
“Pretty good.”
“Yeah?” He bumped her nose with his.
“Mm-hm.” He kissed her again, and dropped her hands to cup her cheeks. She wrapped her hands around his wrists, anchoring him to her, and kissed him back insistently. Daniel took his time rememorizing the feel of her lips, making a careful, detailed study that probably deserved a few hours to be truly complete. Janet let out a little noise between a whimper and a moan that landed hot and sweet in Daniel’s stomach.
She broke away to breathe and Daniel detoured to her neck, hands skimming down her sides to wrap around her waist. Her hair tickled his nose and he swept it back, one hand resting on the back of her neck. She spoke in broken gasps, “Mm- Daniel-” He latched onto her bounding pulse with exactly enough pressure not to bruise, but to make her knees quake. It was a delicate balance, but her ire at having to cake on makeup to look presentable in her uniform was a clear enough series of memories.
Janet’s voice trailed up in pitch and came out as barely more than a breath. “Daniel… just-” She applied enough pressure to his chest that he leaned back to look at her, but otherwise stayed pressed flush to her body. A red flush rose from her chest and neck and glowed bright in her cheeks.
“What is it?” Daniel kissed her hair.
“I-” She shook herself and cleared her throat, and her hands landed lightly on his shoulders. “Cassie is waiting in my office.”
A creeping stillness curdled in on Daniel’s body, squeezing his heart and lungs and aching in his stomach. Janet’s eyes darted anxiously over his face.
“I tried to call, but you were in a briefing.”
“Right. Yeah. Um-” Daniel swallowed, staring at the drab gray door over Janet’s shoulder. “Does she know?”
Janet nodded and rubbed his arms, looking more nervous with every second that passed. Daniel wanted to say something smart and sensitive, something to ease her worry, but his mouth was incredibly dry and absolutely nothing came to mind.
“I told her this morning. She understands you don’t remember everything, but she still wants to see you.” Janet’s lips pressed into a thin line and her fingers clenched on his arms. “Is that okay?”
“What?” Daniel croaked. “I mean, yes, yes it’s fine.”
“Are you sure? If you’re not ready-”
“No, I’m sure. I want to see her.” A silent little girl on a decimated planet- soft cries for a mother that was never coming back, tears soaking his shirt- infectious giggles at a dog chasing his own tail- “I just-” Longer arms wrapped around his middle- a head that didn’t quite fit under his chin anymore- “Was I always this scared about measuring up?”
Janet’s eyes softened with the hint of a smile. She brushed her lips to his, slow and sweet. “Yes, you were. But you never needed to be.”
“I don’t know how to-” Daniel cut off, frustrated at his own limited vocabulary. “I remember being her father, but what if that’s not what she sees anymore?” As ruthlessly practical as Janet could be, the same niggling fear sat in his stomach that if she looked too closely, she’d find he wasn’t who she thought he was. Every kiss and touch could be the last, if she decided it was better to move on rather than be stuck with a corrupted copy of her husband.
“There’s only one way to find out.” Hands on his face, she drew him down to her, nose to nose. “But I don’t think you have to worry about that.”
She gave him another brief kiss and didn’t let him deepen it, instead pulling back to raise her eyebrows. Daniel swallowed, let out a deep, fortifying sigh, and nodded.
She drew him back out into the hallway, and he clung to her hand as she led him to her office. Without knocking, or giving Daniel a chance to run away, Janet opened the door.
Wide-eyed and pale, a teenage girl sat frozen behind Janet’s desk. He remembered her younger- of course he did, she was an eleven-year-old waif, a sunny thirteen-year-old, a fifteen-year-old terror. She was seventeen, now, some part of his mind computed, and she looked petrified and small and terribly young.
Daniel cleared his throat, and stepped forward at the slight pressure of Janet’s hand on his back. “Hi.”
Her eyes bored up at him beyond the impenetrable barrier of Janet’s desk. “Hi.”
“How- um-” Daniel scratched the back of his head. “How are you?”
Cassie shrugged. “Fine.” She linked her fingers on the desk and twiddled her thumbs together. “”How are you?”
“Oh, you know.” Daniel shrugged. Janet tutted under her breath and gave him a proper shove. He stumbled forward, slightly, but by the time he turned to ask Janet what her deal was she was shutting the door. “Huh.” Cassie shifted in the office chair and Daniel took a deep breath before he faced her again. He took the chair opposite the desk, and the distinct feeling of sitting before a judge washed over him. He cleared his throat. “How’s school?”
“Boring,” Cassie said flippantly, and Daniel’s mouth ticked up at the corners. Some of the abject disbelief faded from her face as she rolled her eyes. “But it’s my senior year, so I did all the important stuff last year.”
“I’m sure they still have something to teach you,” Daniel said lightly, and for a second flashed to a different table in a sunny kitchen, a thousand conversations and arguments. “What about what’s-his-name? Dominic?” Cassie’s eyebrows shot up.
“Seriously? Of all the things to remember, you remember my boyfriend?” Daniel shrugged, easing back in his chair as he fell into a pattern he recognized.
“A father remembers these things,” he said loftily, and air froze in his chest as her face dropped. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine.” She plucked a pen from Janet’s desk and turned it over in her hands, scrunching back in the chair. “I mean, you were. We just never really-”
“Said as much.” Daniel swallowed, mouth dry. “I wasn’t supposed to be, it was supposed to be temporary, but-”
“Yeah.”
Daniel deflated. “Yeah.”
He stared at a spot on the desk, frowning as he chased memories that didn’t want to line up in a neat row. It hadn’t always been easy talking to Cassie- no, her mother wasn’t coming back, that man on the sidewalk has no home, I don’t care who else is going you are not spending the night at Dominic’s- but even as stilted and awkward as it could be, there had been something natural about it, too. They hadn’t always seen eye to eye, but there was still the assurance that it didn’t matter- in the end, they would go about their days as they always had. Cassie, he realized, did not have that assurance anymore.
“What about now?” she asked, and Daniel blinked.
“I don’t know.” Cassie gave him a stern, probing look, and he could almost see Janet giving him the same look when she thought he was hurt and he was trying to hide it. “I don’t know if I’m the same person anymore.”
“You look like him,” she said simply. “And your memories are coming back, right?”
“Yeah,” Daniel conceded. He didn’t know how to explain that memories didn’t feel like him, it was like watching episodes of someone else’s life. Running through a shower of bullets, trusting his life to a stranger who had wanted him dead, seeing Janet smile and knowing she felt happy and safe and loved because of him- it all seemed impossible, so far beyond his courage it was almost laughable. “In pieces.”
“So what makes you think you’re not him?” Cassie tilted her head, still staring straight into his soul, and Daniel swallowed.
“I don’t want to give you your father back, and then take him away again if I can’t be him.” Cassie narrowed her eyes.
“So you’re scared.” It wasn’t a question. She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows, looking every inch Janet’s daughter but also every inch herself, a young woman he hadn’t gotten to see her become.
“I don’t think you were quite this insightful before.” Daniel linked his fingers over his belly, feigning a relaxed posture, and Cassie smiled.
“Sure I was.”
“Hm.”
Cassie contemplated him for a long moment and he let her, unsure of how he wanted to proceed. This was easier than it had been with Janet, but harder, too, in a different way. Once Janet had let him in she hadn’t looked back, and every look and touch she’d given him had been filled with love and acceptance. When he stumbled she would catch him, he had no doubt, no matter how much of his memory ended up returning.
With Cassie, he felt like he was in the first stage of a long interview process. He could tentatively call this a success, but the road was far from over. He had the sense he would be proving himself to her for a long time.
But hadn’t he done that before? a small part of his mind nudged him. Hadn’t he spent months of his life opening his door to her no matter the hour, no matter the reason, hadn’t he shown up for her time and time again until she believed he would be there the next time, as promised? It had been worth it before- every sleepless night soothing her tears, every mad dash from school to piano lessons in the nick of time, every Saturday spent cramming historical facts into her brain and reassuring her she wasn’t stupid, she just needed to catch up. Didn’t that make it worth it now?
Little Cassie looked up at him, tears in her eyes and arms wrapped around his waist, and made him promise to come back to her. Daniel told her no matter what happened, he would always try.
Daniel’s brow creased as he looked at her inscrutable face, grown up now but still little. Always.
“I’m willing to take the risk,” she said, and Daniel’s shoulders unspooled.
“Even with my head not screwed on quite straight?” he asked, and she cocked her head with a grin.
“What’s new?”
Going home didn’t feel like anything monumental. Daniel was almost disappointed when Janet parked in front of a neat little two story house and nothing burst over him, no rush of memories or sense of belonging. But it was just a house, nothing more than the backdrop for the last five years of his life. What mattered was the people, the experiences. But still, he thought as he climbed out of Janet’s car and followed her to the door, a little epiphany would have been nice.
Janet’s hands fluttered as she led him inside, brushing back her hair and smoothing her shirt and generally looking nervous. Daniel pulled the door shut behind him and glanced around with passing curiosity. It was all… natural; the foyer, the staircase, the shoes by the door and keys on a hook. Not quite familiar, but not strange.
“Mom?” Cassie thumped down the stairs and grinned when she saw Daniel. “Hi.” Daniel smiled and raised his hand in a wave.
“Hi.”
“Come on, I’ll show you around. It’s all different, Mom did a lot of rage-redecorating.”
“What?” Cassie dragged him into the house, ignoring Janet’s indignant squawk. “I did no such thing!”
“You once moved the couch three times in one week,” Cassie tossed over her shoulder, and parked Daniel in the living room. “So- tv, couch, books, lots of pictures.” Daniel wandered over to a shelf, brushing his fingers over the back of the couch as he went.
Cassie was most prominent, and Daniel tracked her growth from shy little girl to bubbly middle schooler to subdued teenager. His own face startled him, and he plucked a photo off the shelf to examine it more closely. He was squinting in the sun with Cassie on his shoulders and Janet holding his arm, smiling brilliantly. They were all in bathing suits and dripping wet, and Cassie’s fingers were linked under Daniel’s chin while he had his hands on her legs to steady her.
Cassie peeked over his shoulder. “Water park,” she said with a nod, as if that meant something. “One of the park workers sweet talked you into paying for a picture.”
“You make that sound like a bad thing.” Daniel ran his fingers over their faces and briefly closed his eyes, and for a moment he could almost hear roaring water and the happy shrieks of children. Janet would have been a warm presence at his side, laughing as he screwed up his face to see.
Cassie shrugged. “I guess it’s a nice picture.” She smacked his shoulder. “Anyway, moving on.”
“What-? Can’t I just-?”
“Tour now, reminiscing later.” Daniel scrambled to replace the photo before he was escorted away. As Cassie dragged him down the hall Daniel took a deep inhale and cocked his head.
“What is that?” Cassie grinned.
“Typical.” She led him into the kitchen, where Janet was fiddling with a contraption Daniel recognized from his office. “He smelled the coffee, Mom.” Janet glanced at them and smiled at the near-giddiness in Cassie’s face.
“Of course he did.” She rustled around in the fridge. “Would you like some?”
“Um-” Cassie nodded. “Yes, please.”
He’d had coffee on base but this was a completely different aroma, stronger and sweeter and less burnt. Janet handed him a steaming mug and Daniel took a tentative sniff. Janet poured cream in her own mug before she took a sip.
“This is-” Daniel took a sip. “-not what they have at the SGC.” Janet snorted.
“No, it is not. It’s much more expensive.” She looked at him over her mug. “It used to be your favorite.”
“Hm.” Daniel studied her for a moment, her long fingers wrapped around her mug, a lock of hair falling in her face, the play of muscles in her neck as she swallowed. She set her coffee on the counter and Daniel trailed his eyes from her fingers up her arm and back to her neck. His coffee fogged up his glasses, and he blinked.
“How’s the tour coming?” Janet asked.
“We only just started.” Cassie pointed around the room. “Oven, microwave, fridge, coffeemaker, pantry.” She yanked on his arm. “Next.”
Janet’s laugh followed them as Cassie manhandled Daniel to the next room, where she pointed at a table and Daniel shuddered as he remembered something called algebra. His tour guide continued in the same vein all over the house, shoving him from room to room until he was thoroughly acquainted with each landmark. They only paused when they got upstairs, after he’d been introduced to Cassie’s fish and the nice flowery bedspread in the guest bedroom.
“And that’s Mom’s room,” Cassie said, nodding to the door at the end of the hall. She stared at it for a moment, then whipped around. “We’re not going in there.”
“Why-?” But there was no answer, there wasn’t even a question as Daniel nearly lost his footing on the stairs in Cassie’s enthusiasm.
Janet had several papers spread over the counter when Cassie strolled back into the kitchen with Daniel in tow. With a smile at Daniel’s slightly dazed expression, she nudged his abandoned coffee his direction and nodded at the papers.
“I don’t feel like cooking,” she declared with a sigh. “What are you in the mood for?” Cassie snatched up one of the papers with a gasp.
“Miseno’s!” She whirled around to Daniel. “This was one of your favorites, trust me.” Janet’s eyeroll told him Cassie may have been stretching the truth a little, but he nodded along and asked Cassie to order for him. Her grin spread and turned slightly evil, and Daniel swallowed.
“Did you actually get to look at anything?” Janet asked as Cassie pored over the menu.
“It was more of an establishing tour. Get my bearings, you know.” Janet nudged Cassie, who gave her a wide-eyed, innocent look.
“Order for us please?” Cassie heaved a great sigh, but she didn’t refuse. Janet took Daniel’s hand. “Come on, my turn.”
She took him back to the living room but Daniel barely noticed, perfectly content to follow her across town if that was what she wanted. After giving him a nod to sit on the couch she ran her fingers over the books on one of the shelves, seemingly counting down to herself. “Here we go.” She pulled a book down and settled next to him with it in her lap. “First year with Cassie.”
Daniel scooted closer and rested a hand on Janet’s hip. She only paused for a second before opening the book. As she guided him through pages and pages of pictures, wistful as she told him the stories behind them, Daniel laid his chin on her shoulder.
“Hankan years don’t one-hundred percent line up with Earth years, so we weren’t sure at first what to call her birthday…” Daniel rubbed his thumb over her waist, tucking under her shirt to stroke smooth skin. Janet looked away from a picture of Cassie in a pointy hat to raise her eyebrows at him. “Are you even listening?” Daniel nodded, chin digging into her shoulder.
“Mm-hm.” His position put him eye-level with her lips, and he didn’t disguise staring at them as they curled up in a smirk.
“Right.” His eyes darted to hers, and she tilted her head to brush her lips to his. She laid one hand on his cheek and Daniel’s hand tightened on her hip as he moved his lips against hers, scared to press her for too much with Cassie in the next room. When she broke away she was smiling, and Daniel laid his forehead on her shoulder. He opened one eye just enough to look down at the pictures.
“Keep going?” Janet asked.
“Mm-hm.”
When Cassie announced the food had arrived, she found Daniel leaning back against the armrest and Janet laying on his chest, photobook propped up on her belly. “And this was the time Junior figured out he could bite through the peanut butter jar…”
“Hey.” Daniel craned his neck to peer at Cassie over the back of the couch. She blinked at them with a small furrow in her eyebrows, but her expression cleared as she jabbed her thumb over her shoulder. “Food’s here.”
“Can you get some cash from my purse and pay him?” Janet shifted, easing the book closed as she attempted to sit up without elbowing Daniel in the stomach. “We’ll be in in a minute.”
Once Cassie left the room, Daniel took the book and set it on the coffee table before wrapping his arms around Janet’s shoulders and drawing her back to his chest. He nuzzled into her hair, bracketing her with his arms and legs so she couldn’t get away.
“Daniel.” Janet squeezed his thigh, not attempting escape but not melting into him, either. “Dinner.” He let out a non-commital grunt. The rest of the house was like a shattered mirror- pieces that should fit together, but spun out wildly disjointed images. But Janet’s warm weight on his chest was one thing that fit perfectly.
Janet wriggled a little. “Cassie.” Daniel sighed, fingers briefly tightening on her arms before he loosened his grip.
“Later?” Janet sat up out of his arms and turned to face him with vague amusement.
“One step at a time.”
“Is Cassie done with her- mmph!” Daniel swallowed Janet’s surprised squeak, molding his lips to hers and threading his fingers into her hair. He loomed over her, one knee on the mattress. When he pulled back for air she blinked rapidly and cleared her throat. “Homework’s done?”
“Mm-hm.” Daniel slipped his hands under her t-shirt and kissed down her jaw, following a route as familiar to him now as it had been before his ascension.
“And American history got you all-” He nipped her neck and she took a sharp breath. “-hot and bothered?”
“American history was the same as it always was.” And he remembered that now, had a mind full of memories of sitting in high school classrooms, bored out of his mind as he was forced to learn about events he’d mastered before he was ten years old. His head was mostly back in one piece, now, after a week with his team and his family, even in the whirlwind of prepping for the mission. “You got me hot and bothered.”
He plucked her book from her hands, some romance novel with a frilly pink cover, and tossed it on the bedside table. Janet pinched his arm but made no move to get away as Daniel’s hands traced over her bare back and he pressed his lips to her clavicle.
“I was reading that,” she said lightly, and tilted her head to give him better access.
“Anything interesting?” She ran her hands up his arms.
“Not really,” she admitted. Her fingers wound into his hair and he nuzzled her neck. He kept dropping kisses on her neck but her hands didn't move, and as the silence stretched he pulled back to look her in the face.
“Are you okay?” He peeled his hands off her and sat next to her on the bed, bracketing her hips with his arms. Her hands landed on his shoulders.
“That’s my line,” she said with a smile, though there was a tiny crease between her eyebrows. Daniel tilted forward and kissed it.
“What do you mean?”
She shrugged, running her hands up and down his arms as she searched his face. “I’ve just been wondering if something’s bothering you. Between the mission, and Jonas leaving, and rejoining SG-1, you’ve had a lot happen in one week. Especially for it being your first week back.”
Daniel frowned. He swept a strand of hair off her face and let his hand linger, curling her hair over his fingers. Her dark eyes bore into him, willing to wait him out.
“It’s been an adjustment,” he said after a long moment. Going from blank slate to father, husband, and teammate had felt like stepping into shoes too big for him, broken into someone else’s feet. It had chafed as he had tried to fill the spaces again, even with everyone doing their best to meet him in the middle. And that was without the sheer volume of knowledge after a lifetime buried in books. All the languages had yet to untangle themselves, but if he focused, he could make his way through most texts nearly as easily as English. “But I didn’t mean to seem distracted.” He kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry if I worried you.”
Janet huffed a laugh and laid a hand on his face. “I’m going to worry about you for the rest of my life. That’s not what I mean.” Her thumb stroked over his cheek and she bit her lip.
“Then what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know if I’d say something is wrong, you’ve just…” She ran a finger over his bicep as she searched for words. “You’ve been very energetic. Since you got back.”
“What do you-?” Daniel’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh.”
“And I’m not complaining,” Janet said in a rush, staring straight into his eyes with a simmer in her gaze that made Daniel’s mouth go dry. “I just wondered if you were- I don’t know, compensating. Trying to distract yourself.” Daniel gaped at her in utter disbelief.
“You think I need a reason besides being maddeningly attracted to you?” She smirked at that, preening a little as he ducked closer to her face.
“I guess that is a pretty good reason,” she said, and looped her arms around his neck. She gave him a light, lingering kiss, but pulled back before he could help her get carried away. “Seriously, though. Are you all right? You were never this…”
“Energetic?” Daniel filled in, cocking an eyebrow. “That’s not how I remember it.”
“Hm. You’re biased.” Janet tapped his forehead. “Obviously, this hasn’t all lined up yet.” Daniel pursed his lips, then dropped a heated, open-mouthed kiss to her neck. His hand swept up her back, shoving her t-shirt towards her shoulders.
“Or we just remember it differently,” he murmured against her skin, and ran his other hand up her side, tracing the spaces between her ribs. She shivered and he grinned as he tugged her t-shirt over her head and tossed it aside.
“You were never- hm, you were never unenthusiastic, I’ll admit, but-” She cut off with a gasp as Daniel grabbed her hips and tugged her down the bed, and her head bounced on her pillow as she overbalanced and fell back. Perpendicular to her lean figure stretched out on the bed, he leaned over on his elbows and brushed his lips over her stomach, trailing kisses up her body. He wrapped one hand under her thigh and skimmed up and down until she squirmed.
“Daniel, you- Daniel.” Her breathy voice went stern, as much as she could with his face between her breasts. He paused, and sat up just enough to look her in the face. He laid his hand on her stomach and her muscles twitched under his touch. “Once you answer the question, you can keep doing what you’re doing.” Daniel grinned and dipped his head, less than an inch from her skin.
“Just one question?” Her hand speared into his hair, whether to keep him from getting too far or too close he couldn’t tell.
“I just want to know why you’re so-” Daniel ducked just enough to brush his lips between her breasts. Janet huffed. “You know what I’m asking.” She tugged his hair. “Stop avoiding it.”
Daniel let out a sigh against her chest. He pushed himself up to sit beside her, leaning his hands on either side of her torso. She wrapped her hands around his arms, tilting her head as she looked up at him.
The truth shifted in a dark corner of his brain, a place he’d shut behind distraction and work and the wonder of all his new-old memories. It wasn’t something he wanted to admit, not when his team had welcomed him back without reservation, and definitely not when Janet had allowed him back into her life and her bed. But she stared up at him, patient and nonjudgmental and so gorgeous he could barely breathe. She deserved the truth, and that was what he’d always given her, to the best of his abilities.
“I still don’t feel completely like the man I was,” he said quietly. Janet just watched him, dark eyes revealing nothing. “I remember being him, mostly, but… I don’t know how to describe it, I’m just different.”
“I know.” Daniel blinked, and she smiled at his shock.
“You do?”
“I’m your wife, Daniel,” she said evenly, rubbing her hands up and down his arms, following the contours of his muscles. “And a long time before that, I was your best friend.” She reached up and stroked a finger over his eyebrow, down the line of his nose and over his jaw. “I know you.”
“Really?” Daniel took her hand and held it to his face. “Still? You look at me and you see-?”
“Mm-hm.” She stroked his cheek, and some of the heaviness around Daniel’s heart fell away. “You’re Daniel Jackson. You’re kind, and smart, and sweet, and you look for the best in everyone.” She shrugged, and Daniel’s eyes darted down her body before shooting back up to her eyes. She grinned. “And if you’re different, I’ll get to know you again.” She took his face in her hands, and the joy and tenderness in her face took his breath away.
“When I’m with you, I feel more like him,” Daniel said in a rush, willing her to understand. “Like there’s less of a gap between who he was and who I am now.”
“I want who you are now,” she said quietly. “Ascension and missing memories and all.” Daniel’s heart could have burst, and it took everything in him not to kiss her senseless. Shaking with restraint, he took one of her hands and kissed her palm, relishing her touch.
“I love you,” he murmured into her skin. And what a pitiful thing that love was, desperate and needy and lost, the man she had known with a few pieces missing. But it was all he had to offer, and Janet’s eyes went impossibly soft. As if that love were something worth cherishing.
She wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and drew him down to her, coming alive beneath him as she pressed her lips to his. Daniel unwound half on top of her, twisted awkwardly across her body but he didn’t dare move, not with Janet’s hands wandering down his sides.
She broke away to breathe and he buried his face in her neck, one hand trailing down her side to her thigh. He skimmed the waistband of her pajama shorts and she shoved his shirt up his chest. He sat up just enough to tear it off, but before he could bend back over to kiss her, her hands on his shoulders held him in place.
“I love you,” she said, breathless. “No matter how many times I have to find you again.”
“I’m here.” Daniel took her hand and laid it over his pounding heart. “I’m here with you, I’m not going anywhere.”
Her eyes shone and Daniel kissed her, long and slow.