Archive of Our Own

Jeff Tracy had been back on earth for nine months and was still recovering from his eight years alone in the Oort Cloud. It had taken that amount of time for him to start being able to live a relatively normal life again. His bone density was back to normal, weight was up to roughly what it should be, his digestive system was able to tolerate his favourite foods again and his fitness was still improving every day.

Once a year, on the anniversary of what was now Jeff’s disappearance rather than his death, the three eldest sons sifted through documents and paperwork that had reached their time limits and could be disposed of. Most of it was now in digital format, but there were still some actual paper records to go through and with luck, dispose of. They had decided to carry on with the habit despite Jeff now being back and would involve him only if there was a query. The man in question was currently making them lunch down in the kitchen.

The paper documents were stored in a room created off one of the hangers. Virgil had gone down there and collected the one box that existed for the current year in question and had also tidied the room up and reorganised the boxes that were left.

It was whilst he was doing this that he found a small shoebox hidden away, in a corner, behind some ‘never to be disposed of’ boxes, covered in dust. Pulling it out of its hiding place, he gingerly blew on the top of it sending dust in all directions including up his nose, making his sneeze a few times and saw it was marked: 2039.

Mmmm, the year Scott was born, he mused. Bearing in mind the man in question was now 28 and the box wasn’t marked for indefinite keeping, he wondered why it was still around when it should have disposed of twenty years ago.

Curious, he had a quick peek inside and saw it contained official looking envelopes that were numbered and in order along with a list that simply said: Official Documents/Registration; Legal Documents; Letters.

This is weird. All the important stuff should be in the safe. Did this get forgotten?Virgil wondered. He put the smaller box on top of the larger one and made his way up to his father’s office where Scott was either archiving, deleting or keeping current digital documents.

“Only one box this year,” Virgil told him as he entered.

“Cool! Shouldn’t take us too long then,” Scott replied, then saw there were two boxes. He knew his brother could count, so what was with the other box, that wasn’t an official one? “Er, Virg… you’ve got two boxes there.”

“Yeah, the little one is a bit of a puzzle,” his brother replied.

“In what way?”

“Well, it was hidden amongst the ‘do not dispose of’ boxes, right in the corner. I almost missed it, but it’s not marked as such. It’s labelled 2039. I haven’t looked in detail at what it’s got in it, but there was a list that said official documents/registration, legal documents, and letters. Doesn’t say anything about business though.”

“That is weird. All that kinda stuff should be in the safe.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Perhaps it got missed. Let’s take a look. Anything we can’t decide on we’ll leave for dad when he comes back with lunch.”

Virgil sat down opposite him at the desk after putting box boxes down, then picked up the shoebox, took the lid of and shared out the envelopes within.

The first letter Scott read was from a lawyer and addressed to a woman he had never heard of, explaining action that would be undertaken should she be successfully delivered of a baby. This included a DNA test, the signing over of the child should the test be positive and formal adoption of said child.

Virgil caught sight of his brother’s frown. “Scotty?”

“A lawyer’s letter regarding an unborn child. Guess it died… but why would dad think about doing something like this unless…”

“Unless he sowed a few wild oats?” Virgil suggested.

“Dad had an affair whilst mom was pregnant with me? But if it died, why keep the paperwork?”

“Perhaps it didn’t die right away… I don’t think it did, I’ve found a birth certificate.”

“Was it a boy or a girl?” Scott asked.

Virgil unfolded the document, started to read it and then went white.

“What? What is it?” Scott asked concerned. “Virgil, you’re scaring me! What. Is. It?”

Virgil lifted his eyes which held an expression of shock and made a hand of fear claw at Scott’s heart. Unable to speak, his voice suddenly absent, he handed the document to his big brother. Scott took it from the slightly trembling fingers and studied it.

His eyes widened as he read the details.

Name: Scott Carpenter Tracy
Father: Jefferson Grant Tracy (Astronaut)
Mother: Eleanor May Chamberlain (Astrophysicist)
DoB: April 4th 2039
Weight: 8 lbs 4 oz

Scribbled down below were the words: Time: 22:48.

It was a good job Scott was sitting down because his legs had turned to jelly as the information was absorbed by his brain. Their dad had had an affair and had given the baby his name? His exact name? He checked the date of issue and found it was dated the same day.

“We had a half-brother?” Scott mumbled trying to come to terms with this news. “I guess he was born… and died before me…”

“It would appear so,” Virgil whispered.

“But the same name? I – I don’t get it.” Finding strength back in his legs, he dropped the document on the desk, strode over to where the safe was situated and opened it. He rummaged around, then pulled out the folder he was looking for, searched through numerous documents until he located the one he needed; his birth certificate. He went back to the desk, sat down and put the two documents side-by-side to compare them. His read:

Name: Scott Carpenter Tracy
Mother: Lucille Tracy nee Evans – Aeronautical Engineer
Father: Jefferson Grant Tracy – Astronaut
DoB: April 4th 2039
Weight: 8 lbs 4 oz

Scribbled on the bottom was: Time: 22:48

Scott’s breath hitched in his throat and Virgil immediately got up and moved round to the other side of the desk to place his hands on his brother’s shoulders before studying both documents.

“That’s… that’s just creepy,” Virgil muttered noting the same date of birth, same time and identical weight.

“What’s creepy?” Jeff asked as he entered carrying a tray with sandwiches and drinks on.

The two brothers looked up at him. Jeff looked at them curiously, then his eyes focused on the open shoebox and all colour left his face.

“Where did you find that?” he asked, his voice suddenly raspy.

“Hidden in the document store room behind some other boxes,” Virgil responded.

“What is this, dad?” Scott asked. “You had an affair whilst mom was pregnant with me? How could you? And what happened to our half-brother?”

Jeff took a deep breath and put the tray down on the desk. “I hoped you’d never find out about this,” he finally said.

“Why? He’s connected to this family and—” Scott stopped talking as he saw tears in his father’s eyes. “Did… did he die?” he asked tentatively.

“No, he’s alive,” Jeff finally said.

“I want to see him,” Scott said. “He’s our brother.”

“Yeah,” Virgil added.

“You can’t see him,” Jeff replied.

“Why not?”

Jeff took a deep breath, pulled up a chair and sat down opposite them.

“It was a crazy time,” their father began. “Lucy was having a tough pregnancy; her moods were all over the place; we rowed, it was… rough and I didn’t handle it too well and I sought solace elsewhere… Ellie was an astrophysicist and she’d always fancied me. I was looking for comfort, for peace from Lucy’s wild moods. I only slept with her the once—”

“Once is all it takes, dad,” Scott snapped.

“I know… and then Lucy miscarried and—”

“What!” both brothers exclaimed.

“She lost our baby… it was too early to tell the sex; that’s why there’s no birth or death certificate.” He looked at Scott.

“But our brother has the same birthday as me and we’ve never met or knew about him!” Scott was beginning to lose the plot, and then Virgil spoke.

“Oh my God! No! No… you not implying what I think you are, are you, dad?”

Scott looked at him confused.

Jeff hung his head and slowly nodded. “This situation could have been avoided if you hadn’t found that box, Virgil.”

Virgil saw red at that moment. “WHAT! How is it my problem that you chose to lie to him his whole life? Act like a fucking adult and own your own mistakes,” he snapped back.

Scott expected Jeff to shout back at Virgil about his language, but nothing was forthcoming and an awful feeling was beginning to build in his gut.

Virgil gripped his elder brother’s shoulders tightly. “This doesn’t change anything,” he said firmly.

It was then that the penny dropped. Scott went white; his breath shortened, heading towards hyperventilating but he somehow managed to stand up sharply. Virgil grabbed hold of him and hugged him tightly.

“I – I can’t see – see him… because he’s here. It’s me! M – my whole life… it’s been a lie!” Scott’s voice was filled with so much pain it was like a knife in Virgil’s heart.

“You’re our brother, Scotty. You’ve always been our brother and you always will be! We share a parent, that makes us of the same blood.”

“Ellie died soon after you were born and knowing she wasn’t going to survive, signed you over to me. Her death certificate is in there somewhere. I… I confessed to Lucy when Ellie told me she was pregnant. Of course she was livid, but when she saw you, less than an hour old, blue eyed, dimpled, she knew she couldn’t take it out on you and accepted you as hers; I guess a surrogate for the baby we lost. She loved you, raised you. We… we were going to tell you once you were old enough to understand, but then the avalanche happened and… I couldn’t… couldn’t tell you and instead buried it all away believing that what you didn’t know wouldn’t hurt you. We’d had a new birth certificate issued as I hadn’t been quick enough to get it… doctored due to Ellie’s condition. The intention was you would always think you were Lucy’s and my child.”

Jeff paused, hung his head then looked up at the pale features of his eldest, whose vivid blue eyes were bright with the tears he was trying to hold back.

“I am truly sorry son, I should have told you years ago, but we’ve gone through so much sorrow, I didn’t want to upset the apple cart further and then I was lost to the Oort Cloud and… will you… will you forgive me, son?”

“I… I…” Scott’s legs gave out and Virgil gently lowered him onto his chair. “I need… need a drink,” he muttered as he pulled open the bottom drawer of the desk and retrieved the bottle of whisky and three glasses. With a shaking hand he poured himself an over generous amount. “Anyone else?”

“I’ll have a small one,” Virgil said. Jeff nodded.

Scott poured generous fingers into the other two glasses, then picked up his own and took a large mouthful. The fiery liquid hit the back of his throat and worked its way down as he swallowed it.

Virgil took a small sip of his own and placed a comforting hand back on Scott’s shoulder.

“How’re you doing, Scotty?” he asked him gently.

“Honestly? I – I don’t know. Numb? Shocked? Angry? Sad? Who am I, Virgil?”

“You’re Scott Carpenter Tracy, our eldest brother who we all love very much and don’t you ever doubt that!” He leant over and placed a kiss on the top of his head. “You’re the same person today as you were yesterday; a year ago; ten years ago.”

“Dad, you should have told me! I have a right to know who I am!” Scott took another large mouthful and swallowed it.

“Would it have made a difference? Really? You have a family that love you, Scotty, without reservation.”

“But do I have another one? My mother’s family. Are they out there? Do I have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents? If I do, I’ve been denied access to them for 28 years, Virgil.” He looked up at his brother. “I love all of you, I always will, but I have to know. I want to know what my mother was like; what she looked like; who she was. That’s not too much to ask, is it?”

“No, it isn’t. How about we ask John to investigate? You don’t have to tell him the reason and it’s up to you if you want to tell your other brothers when you’re ready.”

“Hold on a minute Virgil,” Jeff began.

“John’s discrete, he can do some digging. If Scott wants to find out about his mother’s side of the family, then he should do it. Scotty, do you think you’ll want to tell your other brothers?”

“I – I don’t know Virgil. I don’t want them to think of me differently.”

“They wouldn’t do that Scotty. They love you.”

“I have to know about my other relatives. If I am to find myself, I need to know. Suddenly I’m lost. I’m confused, I’m angry!”

“We’re here for you Scotty. It will make no difference to us. You. Are. Our. Big brother. Now and for always. We love you.” He hugged him tightly again.

“T – thanks Virg. It means a lot but…”

Scott stood up sharply again, grabbed the whisky bottle and left the room. Virgil went to go after him, but Jeff stopped him.

“No Virgil, give him a bit of time to digest this; get his emotions under control. He’s had one hell of a shock. If he’s not returned by dinner tonight we’ll get John to tell us where he is.”

Scott briefly went to his room, tore off his wrist communicator and ran

Virgil chewed his bottom lip. It was time for dinner and Scott was nowhere in sight, so he discretely asked John for his whereabouts.

“According to his comms unit he’s in his room. But… I’m not receiving any telemetry on his vital signs,” John responded.

“Shit!” Virgil swore vehemently. “Can you use the scanners, see if you can locate him, please?”

“Sure, but what’s this all about?”

“Only Scott can tell you,” Virgil replied sadly.

John realised there was something going on, but he was patient, and he’d find out eventually he was sure. “I take it he’s not in the villa or in the immediate vicinity?” he asked as he began to scan the island.

“You are correct.”

“Okay. Stand by.”

Silence reigned for several minutes and Virgil found himself fidgeting with growing impatience.

“Found him. He’s up at the cliff by the peaks.”

“Shit! That’s an hour each way… okay.” He paused. He knew it wasn’t his place to ask, but he did it anyway. “Johnny, would you do a search for an Eleanor May Chamberlain who died in April 2039. Worked for NASA. Any living family she might have; brothers, sisters, parents etc.”

“Is this a legal search?”

“Yes John. Just look for what’s readily available and out there, please.”

“Okay. Leave it with me… and Virgil… don’t call me Johnny!”

Virgil gave a brief smile, then signed off, sighed and went to the kitchen. Jeff looked up at him as he entered a question on his raised eyebrows.

Alan and Gordon had yet to arrive, so Virgil quickly updated him. “Scott’s up at the cliff by the twin peaks. I’m gonna be gone at least two hours… unless I take Two up there and get him.”

“I’d sooner not imply there’s anything too serious going on to Alan and Gordon. Are you okay if we go ahead and eat. I’ll keep something back for you and Scott.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Guess I could do with the exercise! Wish me luck.”

And with that he was gone.

Virgil broke his record for getting up to the cliff. Fifty-three minutes. He was huffing a bit when he got there.

His brother was sitting on the ground, his back leaning against the leg of the bench that allowed a person to sit and gaze out over the vast Pacific Ocean to contemplate life, the universe, anything that was on their mind.

Virgil approached cautiously and saw Scott was cradling the almost empty bottle of whisky on his lap and had obviously been doing a lot of crying going by the bloodshot eyes… or perhaps it was the whisky…

“Hey Virg,” Scott slurred waving the bottle around wildly as he greeted his brother. “Come an’ join me…” he studied the contents of the bottle. “Oh…”

Virgil sat down beside him, took the bottle and finished off the final mouthful it contained before being very naughty and throwing it off the cliff where it fell to its death as it smashed to pieces on the basalt rocks far below.

“Hey Scotty,” he replied as he placed an arm around his big brother’s broad shoulders. For a lanky individual, Scott had surprisingly broad shoulders, and he could feel the hard muscle beneath his hand. “You doing okay, bro?”

“Half-bro,” Scott retorted and his breath hitched slightly.

“Full bro. You’ll always be our full brother Scotty. Never doubt that. Nothing’s changed, you’re still you, we still love you, you’re still Scott Carpenter Tracy.”

“But… my mom wasn’t Lucille, it was Ele - Eleanor. I… I feel so lost Virg. I don’t know who I am anymore… hell, I haven’t known who I was since I was twelve. I’m just a Jeff Tracy clone… an’…”

“Stop it, right now,” Virgil ordered. “I’ve never seen you be a sad drunk before, Scotty.”

“’M not drunk.”

“You’re plastered Scotty. And I’ve got to get you back to the villa.”

“Don’ wanna.”

Oh God and now we have the petulant child routine, Virgil thought and gave a quiet sigh.

“Dinner’s ready.”

“Don’ want ’ny.”

“Come on Scotty, you can’t stay here all night. Let’s go home.”

Scott looked at him and shook his head.

Virgil tried a different track. “I’ve asked John to do some investigating. He doesn’t know that Eleanor was your mother. Just asked him to look for living relatives. No one knows anything about what’s happened today and it can stay that way. No one else needs to know if you don’t want them to.”

Big brother turned soulful bright blue, bloodshot eyes on his brother. “I – I don’ know whatta do, Virg. Wha’ do I do?”

“There’s no hurry. You don’t have to make a decision right this minute. Let’s sleep on it for a few days; see what John finds out, eh? Plus, you’re drunk and in no condition to make any decisions right now.”

“’M drunk?”

“Very! Come on, let’s get you home, get some food into you, then you can sleep it off, get your head clear.” Virgil released him, stood up and held out a hand.

Scott studied it for several seconds, then grasped it and Virgil pulled him to his feet, then had to steady him as his brother wavered very unsteadily. “Oooohhh…. Why’s ev’thing spinnin’?”

“Because you’re drunk, Scotty,” Virgil told him again. “Come on.” He slung his brother’s arm over his shoulder, put an arm around his waist and slowly started walking him back down the trail towards the villa.

It took them almost two hours to get back and Scott had passed out three quarters of the way down. Virgil had been forced to throw him over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift to get him back to the villa and had put him straight to bed to sleep it off.

Jeff had come up and told Virgil he’d stay with him whilst he got some dinner. Sighing, Jeff sat down on the chair that Virgil had moved to be right next to Scott’s bed, leant forward and ran his fingers through the thick chestnut hair.

“I’ve done wrong by you yet again, Scotty,” Jeff mumbled. “I just can’t seem to get anything right when it comes to caring for you, can I? I’m so sorry. You didn’t need this burden on top of everything else you’ve had to suffer. I’ll make it up to you, son… somehow. You’ve turned out to be a much better man than I’ll ever be and that makes me so proud of you.”

Scott moaned in his stupor and gave a little grunt before settling down again and Jeff gave a sad smile and settled down to wait until he woke up.

Virgil came back after he’d eaten armed with some water and Tylenol for when Scott rejoined the land of the living. After devouring almost an entire bottle of whisky he was bound to have one hell of a hangover.

“You don’t have to stay here all night, dad,” he told his father.

“I do, Virgil. This is my mess to clear up.” He huffed. “I’m still making a good job of fucking things up after all this time. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, dad. As long as you show Scott all the love you can. He doesn’t know who he is at the moment.”

“He’s my son and your brother. Always has been, always will be. I… I guess I can’t stop him from searching for his mother’s family…” he shook his head. “I should have destroyed those documents. I don’t know why I kept them… they say ignorance is bliss and that is so true…”

“But would it have been right?”

“Probably not…”

“Does… does he look like her in anyway?”

Jeff considered the question for a few moments. “Well, everyone says he looks like me but… believe it or not, he actually looks a lot like Lucy which is physically impossible, but he really does. He’s got her dimples, but more pronounced, but then, I’ve got dimples and Eleanor had them to a lesser extent, I guess Scotty got the combined full dimples. He takes after Lucy in so many ways though; guess because she was the constant in his early life; in all your early lives whilst I was gallivanting to the moon and Mars.” He sighed again. “I should have been there for you all instead of leaving it all to Lucy. I have so many regrets, and then when I was here, I was… taken away from you all again and I’m sorry for that too. Looking back, it was stupid of me to be a self-sacrificing idiot. I’ve missed so much.”

“Scott nearly killed himself standing in as guardian, CEO and Commander of iR, dad. We nearly lost him… and the responsibility of… of having to come home and tell us you were dead when he thought you’d been killed in the Zero X right in front of his eyes… I really don’t know how he held it together. I couldn’t have done it. He was like a rock; didn’t display any grief; comforted us all… sure he got very drunk the first couple of nights when he thought we were all asleep, but after that he locked his grief away and got on with what he had to do.

“You know… you owe him everything, dad. Without him you wouldn’t have had a company or iR to come back to. You’re far richer now than before you disappeared. He restarted iR two years after your ‘death’, and he grew and expanded the company so it didn’t have all its eggs in one basket. And all through that we had to contend with your ex-business partner—The Hood—his minions like the Chaos Crew, The Mechanic; then those frequent flier idiots like Lemaire and Fischler to name but two.”

“I realise that and I am truly grateful. I just hope I can prove it.”

“I have just two words to say to that, dad. You’d better.” He nodded at his father and left him to keep a vigil over his eldest brother.

It was 4:00 am when Scott decided to resurface with a low groan. “Oowwwwww, my head…” He opened his eyes a fraction to thankfully find the lights on low, and saw that his dad was sitting by his bedside. “Heeeyyyyyy dad… did I hit my head or something?” He pulled a face as the pounding in his head made its presence felt.

“Hello son. Here, take these.” Jeff reached for the pills and water and handed them to him, ignoring the shaking hands that took them and watching as Scott washed the pills down with the water.”

Scott sighed and winced as he lay his head back on the pillow. “Oh my head is pounding!”

“I’m not surprised, son. Virgil says you practically drank a whole bottle of whisky. He finished up having to carry you back last night.”

“Carry me back? From wh…” His voice trailed off as his brain finally rebooted itself and the memories came flooding back into his brain. “Oh… it… it was all real, wasn’t it?”

His blue eyes looked so sad it almost broke Jeff’s heart.

“I’m so sorry, Scotty. It was wrong of me to keep it from you… ignorance is bliss and all that. But I’ll do everything I can to make it up to you, I swear. You are my son, nothing will change that, and John, Virgil, Gordon and Alan are your brothers, and… I think I’m a little jealous of you.”

“Jealous? Of… of me?”

Jeff reached out and took hold of one of his hands, squeezing it tightly. “You are a far better man than I will ever be, Scotty. You have achieved so much in your young life, and I am so proud of you. In fact, I’m fit to burst with pride at what you have done your entire life. You supported the family when I deserted you; you kept your brothers together, you restarted iR; you became CEO of Tracy Industries and grew the company beyond my wildest imagination.

“I understand if you can’t forgive me for what I’ve done, but I will pray every day that you will find it in your heart to do so eventually. I love you, I love all of you. You are my everything even though I’ve done a piss-poor job of showing it. Please son, will you forgive me?”

Jeff watched the myriad of emotions flit across his eldest son’s face and could see he was torn between what he felt and wanted and what would be best for the whole family.

“I… I need time, dad. This news has… has knocked me for six. I don’t know what to do about it. Do I tell the others, do I keep it quiet? What do I do?”

“You don’t have to decide immediately, Scotty. It’s been hidden for 28 eight years, a few weeks or months won’t make any difference now. Get your head sorted if you can before you make any decisions, okay? Virgil told me that he’s got John looking into your mother’s side of the family, but hasn’t told him the reason why. You can keep it a secret, or you can decide to tell your brothers and I’ll be right beside you when you do it, but you don’t have to do it immediately. Don’t rush, okay?”

Scott looked down at the hand his father was holding, then back up to his face and saw a mixture of regret, sorrow, hope and a load of others in the expression.

Finally, Scott nodded.

“May… may I give you a hug, Scotty?” Jeff asked tentatively. “I would so much like to hug you right now.”

His son nodded slowly and Jeff moved to sit on the bed and hug his son tightly, noting that Scott fisted his hands in his shirt and he hugged him back.

“Whatever you decide, I’ll support you; your brothers will support you, okay, and I’ll keep apologising for as long as it takes for you to believe that I am sincere. You boys are my life; it was the thought of you here, back on earth that kept me going when I was marooned in the Oort Cloud. You’ve all grown and matured so much and I am so very proud of what you’ve all achieved, and especially you, son. You were the cement that held it all together and I can never repay you for what you’ve done. You have to believe me.”

Scott screwed his eyes shut. His father sounded so sincere, he really wanted to believe him, but it would take time.

“I love you so much, Scotty,” his father mumbled into his hair. “So much.”

Maybe with time, he would be able to forgive his father for his transgression and keeping the truth from him. But it could depend on what John found out about his mother’s family. Only time would tell.