Archive of Our Own

At the same time as the door clicks open, page thirty-four rips.

“I’m home,” Rui calls out, and Tsukasa tears his eyes away from the newly established hole to see a familiar patchwork coat being hung up by the entryway.

“Welcome back!” Tsukasa repositions himself on the couch to open up his right side, opening the space he knows Rui will always want to take if he’s there, especially if there's a script present. “How was today?”

“It was okay.” As predicted, it’s only a moment before Rui is settling in next to him. One of Tsukasa’s arms is stolen as Rui wraps himself around his left side. “Cold.”

“Gh, you’re freezing-!” Tsukasa jerks away, but the grip is too secure. “Go get a blanket if you’re that cold!”

“This radiator is fine.”

“I’m not a radiator.”

“Then why’re you so warm…?” He sounds a little sleepy, and Tsukasa is about to ask him what he wants for dinner before Rui head cranes over slightly. “Did you manage to figure it out yet? You weren’t messaging as much.”

“Kind of…” Smudged graphite stares back at him, determined to out him as a liar. “I mean, it’s definitely getting there! The stuff you suggested earlier helped a lot, but I had some ideas I wanted to discuss with you more now that you’re back. Or should we eat first? It’s okay if you’re tired.”

“You took out the mirror scene?” Too late, Rui already has his (ice-cold!) hand next to Tsukasa’s on the page. 

“It’s still there! I just moved it. I thought it’d be better for the pacing if it was after the confrontation scene. Seriously, I bought you gloves, why weren’t you wearing them?”

“I was keeping them safe in my pockets,” Rui says, and Tsukasa wants to tell him that defeats the entire purpose, before Rui turns the page and hums. “Yes, I get why you moved it. But is it okay for them to refer to each other so plainly with the order swapped around? You might have to change a few lines.”

“I already did that. I moved a few other lines around too. It should make sense, but I’d prefer if you could still check it…”

“Of course.” Rui leans his head back against Tsukasa’s shoulder. “So, everything should be fine now, right?”

“It should, but…” Maybe if Rui is sleepy, he can get away with it. “I was thinking about Scene Seven again.”

“Okay.”

“I’ve rewritten it so many times, but it’s still not right!” Tsukasa flicks back to the frustrated creases in the page that surround the abrasion in the paper. “So I’m meant to be confused, right? Really thrown out of sorts, questioning not just my career but kind of my whole motivation towards life and everything I do. It’s a really big moment!”

“Yes, it is.”

“So…I think we should make the scene bigger!” Tsukasa tries. “Add something else that nobody is expecting!”

No reply, though Tsukasa can tell Rui hasn’t fallen asleep.

“I know you already mentioned a couple of stage effects and lighting choices that’ll help, but…” Tsukasa readies himself. “I was thinking again- why don’t we just ask if we can use that revolving stage?”

“The venue already has one.” Rui’s voice is less tired now. 

“I mean with your modifications. The ones you did before! It’d suit the scene much better, right?” Tsukasa wills himself to continue even as Rui sits up and detaches himself from his arm. “The ones they provide are too slow, and there’s way less you can do with them. Don’t you think it would really excite the audience if we bring out something they aren’t expecting? Something that hasn’t been done before!”

“We already spoke about this.”

“I know you said, but, I mean, isn’t it way better? Think about it!”

“It’s not better. It failed my safety checks, so we’re not using it.”

“But surely there’s something you can do about that. When you showed me last time, it looked really cool! I don’t think you should give up so easily.”

“It failed unexpectedly. Despite all my failsafes, it still broke in a way that could’ve been extremely harmful to the person using it. I already dismantled the parts because of that. There’s nothing wrong with using the stage as normal.”

“You dismantled them?” Tsukasa exclaims. “Why? It looked so amazing! You could do stunts like never before with the changes you made!”

“Because it failed the safety checks.” Rui’s voice is harder now, a little colder. Tsukasa wishes he would go back to cradling his arm to warm him back up a little. “There isn’t any point for you to keep asking about this. I told you before we’re not using it. You said you understood.”

“I mean, I did, but, the more I think about it, the more it really seems like the perfect solution. Don’t you think you should try again?”

“If you’re not happy with that scene, I can see if there’s another effect I can add.”

“Surely it’s one of those things where even if it goes a little wrong, the overall effect will be worth it. And I don’t mind taking the risk.”

“I know you don’t.” Rui shifts back a little more, and Tsukasa’s hands tighten more around the script. He’s losing his audience. “Did you decide on your edits for the ending of Act One?”

“No, not yet, I was...” Tsukasa frowns. “Hey, don’t change the topic.”

“I’m not changing it. The discussion has ended.”

“It hasn’t ended! You haven’t even considered anything I’m saying!”

“I haven’t,” Rui agrees.

“You really think the scene is okay as it is?”

“I’ll think of another solution.”

“But we already have the perfect solution right here!”

“It’s not perfect if someone’s going to get hurt.”

“You don’t know that. You said last time, it only failed right at the very end. Maybe it was just a fluke. If you rebuild it, maybe it’ll be fine. I’ll test it out for you. You don’t have to worry!”

Rui stands up. “You’re not testing it out because we’re not using it.”

“Why?” Tsukasa follows after. “I test stuff out for you all the time! Why is this different?”

“You really need me to tell you again?” 

“So what if it’s not safe right now? It’s not like there’s never been an incident with all the other stuff I’ve tried out.”

“Which is exactly why this is off limits. I’m not discussing this any further.”

“You’re not listening to anything I’m saying!” Tsukasa tracks Rui to the kitchen, which reminds him again he needs to ask what to make, but it’s not really the top of his thoughts right now. Rui stands by the counter as if he’s unsure of why he even came in here. “You’re being so stubborn!” 

Rui lets out a sharp laugh. “Aren’t you the one being stubborn?”

“I’m trying to do what’s best for the show!”

“You getting hurt is not what’s best for the show.”

“But I might not get hurt! You’re not even giving me a chance!”

“If we can’t come to a consensus, then let’s just take out that scene entirely,” Rui says.

“What?! But you wrote that part! Are you insane? No!”

“If it can’t achieve the desired effect without an overly risky mechanism, then it can’t have been a very good scene to start with.”

“It won’t be risky if it’s me! And so what if something goes a little wrong? I can handle it! Do you think I can’t? You don’t trust me?”

“Are you even listening to what you’re saying right now?”

“You’re not-” Tsukasa sucks in a sharp breath, spinning around so he doesn’t have to see Rui’s tense stance any longer. He’s letting himself get too heated, and he needs to calm down. “I need to calm down.”

“Mm.” Rui’s voice is taut. “Me too.”

He doesn’t move, so Tsukasa heads back to the lounge so they can occupy different spaces for a bit. It’s sad, and frustrating, because he really wanted Rui to say something like ‘actually, you’re right, I was too hasty before and didn’t give it enough of a chance. Let me build it again and we can ensure the show is the true spectacle it deserves to be’. But instead he went straight for ‘no’. Without even trying? Seriously, what’s with that?

Tsukasa crosses his arms and breathes deep, then decides it’s just not going to work. Anger is still radiating in here and from the other room. It’s probably dispersed throughout their entire apartment by this point, a mist set on clouding over his rationality. Outside is too cold for a walk, and he doesn’t really feel like getting all buttoned up in his coat anyway.

He stands still for a few more seconds, then takes out his phone. 

-

It’s dark in Sekai, but at the very least, it’s temperate enough that he doesn’t feel the need for a jacket. Right now he’s standing by the river, the reflections of upbeat colours glimmering back at him. Already he feels a little better, because it’s simply not appropriate to be seething with irritation whilst standing in a cheery amusement park, but lingering exasperation still bites at him, so he sets off at a brisk pace.

It’s stupid, really. Ridiculous, if he thinks about it more. Maybe he could understand if they had already tried it and it didn’t work, but Rui isn’t even giving it an opportunity. Even knowing how great a project this could be if allowed to grow to full fruition? Yes, maybe Rui had tried it years back and it had failed, but- that was years ago! Not now. His inventions are much better than they used to be, and it’s not like they were ever bad. The fire alarm has only sounded three times in the whole time they’ve started living together, and twice of those were in one week, so Rui said that should only count as once. It’s still three by Tsukasa’s count, anyway.

Maybe Rui can say there’s another solution, but that solution doesn’t exist yet, so as far as Tsukasa is concerned, this is the only option. And it could be great! It could be amazing! Tsukasa watches his own mirror image in the water and makes the pose he would make standing on that revolving stage. It’s fantastic, and he’s not even in costume yet. Maybe he can show Rui this and he’ll have a change of heart? But he seems set on not changing his mind. So aggravating! Did he tear a hole in that page for nothing? If a scene is going to fall flat just from this, maybe there’s no point performing it at all. Which is such a terrible, awful thought that Tsukasa has to slump down and rest his chin on the bridge.

‘Exercising his right as a director’...maybe Tsukasa should exercise his right as lead actor and veto that decision. But, no. That wouldn’t lead them anywhere. And it would mean coming home to an unpleasant static across their apartment, one that would only get worse with time. Tsukasa doesn’t want that. He wants Rui to keep getting home and leaning into his side. He wants to keep having Rui slink his arms around him in the kitchen before breakfast. And most importantly, more than anything, he wants Rui to keep smiling at him when he performs. 

“This is so annoying!” he yells out across the water, clutching his head into his hands and staring at the shimmering light under the bridge. Does this count as an argument? It didn’t last very long, but it has the same bitter aftertaste as one. He should hurry back and apologise. But what about the show? There’s still no good fix to the problem they have. Ahh, it’s frustrating! No matter what he thinks, there’s always going to be someone left dissatisfied. He feels like he’s scrubbed out a piece of himself along with the writing on the page.

Down on the water, something shines. It catches Tsukasa’s eye quickly, because unlike the rest of the light, this one sits above the current rather than inside it. This is a tangible thing, floating along towards him- and ready to float away past him. 

“A fragment piece!” Tsukasa leans down without much thought, extending a hand out just in time to grab the light that drifts along the river. “Wait-!”

It collides with his hand, and there’s a sharp, electric burning for a second, and then-

“Ah, wait, if you do that, then she’s going to-”

It’s bright.

Tsukasa has to blink a few times, whether it’s from the abrupt light change or just the shock of suddenly being somewhere new he doesn’t know, but when his eyes settle, he finds himself standing on a path. It’s bright daylight, and there’s a park out in the distance, surrounded by trees. The scene is familiar, like a painting he’s glanced at but only in passing.

“Where…?” Tsukasa takes a few hesitant steps forwards, just to make sure this world won’t dissolve beneath his feet, but it stays sturdy as he walks. Ahead, he spots a group of children gathered together by a blanket. Their chatter and laughter is sunny and inviting, but somehow, Tsukasa gets the sense he isn’t supposed to go there. Instead, he turns around, and in the distance, sees Rui.

Or, it’s Rui, but it’s also not. There’s no mistaking that overt hair or those slightly hunched shoulders, but he’s much shorter than Tsukasa knows him to be, and possibly about twenty or so years younger. A similar age to the children in the park, except he’s walking away from them.

“Is this a memory…?” Tsukasa wonders aloud, as if someone, possibly Miku or one or the others, will tell him, but there’s nobody else here. Only Rui, but he’s alone too. “Wait! Rui!”

Tsukasa hurries to chase after Rui, who takes a little too long to turn around, as if in disbelief anybody would ever be calling out to him. Ah, he really is young. Tsukasa tries to place him with the family photos he’s seen, hearing Rui’s mother’s doting voice in his ear. Is he maybe seven, or eight years old? He’s holding something in his arms.

“...Who are you?” The boy in front of him stares up with cautious, suspicious eyes, and Tsukasa catches himself before he can say too much. If this is a real memory, then could it work similar to time travel? Maybe if he says something he’s not supposed to say, it could mess up the timeline and the whole universe could collapse. Normally this would be where he’d ask Rui for help – his Rui, he means – but that’s not really an option right now.

“Do you…remember me?” Tsukasa tries. “Or- know me, at least…?”

Rui observes him carefully. “I don’t think so.”

“Oh, well- your parents sent me to go check on you!” Tsukasa decides, trying his best to exude as much big brother energy as he can. Just in case, he adds, “I’m friends with Nene’s family. We became friends because I also know a lot about theatre!”

“Oh.” Thankfully, Rui accepts this. This must be a slightly altered version of reality, because there’s no way Rui would ever accept such a basic explanation, even in his child state. “Well, you don’t need to check on me. You can tell my parents I’m fine. I’m going home now.”

“You don’t want to play with the others?” Tsukasa thinks back to the group still at the park behind him. “It looks like they’re having fun! I think it’s a picnic, or something.”

“I already went,” Rui says shortly. “And now I’m going home.”

He starts walking again, and Tsukasa hurries to match his pace. It’s odd seeing him so short, though it doesn’t seem to have slowed him down. Side by side, he can see better the scrap of metal Rui is holding in his arms. He’s cradling it gently, as though it’s a wounded animal.

“What is that?” Tsukasa asks, gesturing to the clutter. Rui’s eyes light up, the same way they always do when he wants to explain something, but then he looks away.

“Nothing important. I’m taking her home.”

It’s an invention, then. “What’s her name? Is she okay? She looks a bit beat up.”

“Laika,” Rui replies, and hugs the heap of metal closer. Now that Tsukasa peers more closely, he can make out a few legs, and a head. Panels of different colours make up its body, so typical to Rui’s usual style. “She…got a little bit hurt. But I’m going to fix her!”

“Hurt?”

“Mm.” He doesn’t expand, but instead finds his way to a park bench, shrugging his backpack off his shoulder. Even that is brightly coloured, and Tsukasa can see Rui’s name written in kanji on a tag at the top, in what must be a precursor to Rui’s own scratchy handwriting. “Actually, I’ll do it here so my parents won’t be worried. I don’t think it will take very long.”

Unlike probably ninety-nine percent of all elementary schoolers in the world, Rui is very easily able to pull out an assortment of tools from his backpack, including a set of screwdrivers most definitely not made for kids. Tsukasa is caught between ‘well, this is Rui, even at this age, he knows what he’s doing’ and ‘wait, this is Rui, even at this age, don’t let him handle such dangerous instruments!’. He settles on hovering nervously.

Laid out like this, it’s easier to tell that the scrap of metal is actually a robot, and the robot is shaped like an animal. Possibly a dog, or a cat. Its legs seem a little mangled and broken at the hinges. Ah, so that’s why she’s ‘hurt’. 

“Did the injury happen when you were playing?” Tsukasa asks. “Or were you putting on a show?”

“Did my parents tell you I like doing that?” Rui eyes Tsukasa for a moment, then returns to his tools. “I don’t know. Maybe both.”

“Ah! I know! You took her to the picnic with the other kids!”

“...I did.” He twists the robot around and starts reattaching one of the wobbly legs. A few wires stick out of place. “I wanted to show them, but…I guess it was a bit boring. Or weird. Maybe both. I accidentally do a lot of those sorts of things.”

“That’s not true,” Tsukasa says almost automatically, the same way he would if it was his own Rui speaking badly of himself. “I mean- you’re not weird at all. There’s nothing boring or weird about putting on shows!”

“Maybe not the shows you like. Mine are different. You wouldn’t like them.”

Tsukasa gasps dramatically. “I contest that! How can you say such a thing without evidence?”

“I don’t need evidence,” Rui says firmly. “This fact has already been proven.”

“Then I’ll prove you wrong!” Tsukasa declares. “So, what show is Laika part of?”

“What?”

“You said you were putting on a show with her. What’s the show about? Can you tell me the story?”

“...I can’t. She’s too broken right now.” Rui pushes another joint back into place. His movements are more clumsy than what Tsukasa is used to seeing, but that’s understandable. There’s quite a gap in experience between this Rui and the one he knows. “This back leg is really broken…I might have to use Dad’s soldering gun again…”

“Hm? Are you allowed to use that?”

“He would let me use it if he knew it was to fix a robot.” That blasé way of speaking when asked about something not entirely permissible is far too recognisable. “Laika is the only performer in her story, anyway.”

“If you can’t show me, can you at least tell me what the story is about?” Tsukasa tries instead, and Rui gives him another vaguely suspicious look. “I’m a performer myself! I really like hearing about different kinds of shows. Even those that people might think are weird at first!”

“...She likes to explore space,” Rui says shortly. “That’s why she has a helmet on. She goes up to the moon and she lives up there away from everyone else, but that’s okay because she likes being alone.”

“...I see.” Tsukasa takes a moment to consider this, watching the little dog in Rui’s lap, then he spins around and creates his best alien pose. “Nice to be acquainted with you, Miss Laika!”

“...Hm?” Finally Rui glances up from his tinkering.

“Is this your first time on the moon?” Truthfully, he isn’t entirely sure what a moon alien would sound like, but the kids at PxL always seemed to enjoy his nasally voice, so he goes with that. “If you like I can show you around a little! I’ve lived here my entire life! Ha ha ha!”

“...No, she’s been here before.” Rui frowns, but there’s a hesitant smile peeking out. He seems as amused as he is confused. “But there weren’t any aliens here last time. I didn’t think any aliens lived on the moon.”

“That’s because we’re really good at hiding! Look!” Tsukasa covers his face with his hands, peeking one eye through, and hears Rui laugh. “I heard you like to travel around space! I’ve never been anywhere but here. Could you tell me some stories about your travels?”

“I’ve…been to a lot of planets.” Rui makes the robot’s head sit up slightly, turning it towards Tsukasa. Against the bright sky, Tsukasa can just about make out a dull glow in her eyes through the helmet. “I’ve been to some planets that weren’t even in this galaxy! It takes a really long time, but I have a special spaceship so I can go faster than anyone else.”

“Amazing! So are there other aliens out there too?”

“Yes.” Rui makes Laika nod. “I’ve been to planets where everybody had two heads, and others where people had no heads at all.”

“How very strange! I think having one is just enough!”

“It’s okay for people to be different,” Laika continues, and her next nod is a little more automatic. “They told me that before. Even though…I did go to a planet where the people were very rough, because they had never seen a dog before. That’s how I got injured.”

“Oh no! How awful! Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” Laika says quietly. “I don’t think they meant to hurt me. They just…didn’t know what to do with something so strange. It was my fault for showing up somewhere I didn’t belong.”

“I don’t think it’s your fault at all! I bet next time you go, they’ll understand you better and maybe want to be friends. But even if they don’t, there are lots of planets out there! And I bet a lot of the aliens will want to be friends!”

“How do you know if you’ve never been anywhere else?” Laika asks. “Maybe they’ll all be scared of me.”

“Well, I’m an alien, and I’m not scared of you at all!” Tsukasa grins. “Maybe next time you travel, we can go together!”

“...Maybe.” Rui hugs the robot back towards him, holding the limp leg in his hand. The damage on the other limbs seemed fairly superficial, but there doesn’t seem to be much to be done about that one. “Are you really a performer? Have you ever been on a big stage?”

“All the time!” Tsukasa says proudly. He has to stop himself from adding ‘thanks to you, that is!’. “I was a bit wobbly when I first started, but I got the hang of it eventually! But of course, I’m still learning every day!”

“What kind of shows do you perform?”

“Every kind of show there is! Action, musical, romance, suspense, drama- I can do it all! And yes, sometimes, even really weird ones too!”

“I want to see that,” Rui says, and laughs. “I thought I was the only person who liked shows like that.”

“Absolutely not! We- I’ve had sell out audiences time and time again!”

“You must be famous then.”

“Yes! I’m a great star!”

“Hmm.” Rui seems to consider this, smiling back down at the dog. “Once Laika is better, I can show you her show, if you like. I’m still working on building her spaceship, but as soon as I find out where to get a lithium battery, I’ll show you that too!”

“Sounds good, you can- wait, lithium? Seriously, I know your dad does this stuff too, but aren’t you still too young right now for such materials?”

“He’ll understand.” That impassive voice again. Tsukasa huffs and takes a seat next to Rui.

“Is she going to be easy to fix?” he asks. “Those aliens really got her good, huh.”

“I think so.” Rui yanks one of the bolts around with a wrench that he also inexplicably had in his bag. “...I wish I hadn’t let her get hurt.”

“It was an accident though, right? The kids were being too rough with her.”

“I shouldn’t have taken her out. I could’ve warned her that people don’t always like- astronaut dogs. It was my fault this happened. I should have had more foresight.”

“You just wanted to show other people this amazing thing you’ve made. You couldn’t have known she was going to get hurt.”

“...I should’ve made something more normal.” Rui’s movements on the wrench slow slightly. “That’s what everyone says at school.”

“The things you create are incredible!” Tsukasa is unable to stop his voice from rising, and Rui blinks at him in surprise. “I mean- you shouldn’t ever feel like your inventions or ideas are strange or unappealing! They definitely are! I think Laika is amazing! Especially since you made her when you’re so young! I want to hear all of the stories and adventures you have planned for her!”

“...You’re the only person who’s ever said stuff like that,” Rui murmurs, lowering his attention back to tinkering. “Hmm…a bit of the wire snapped off, but I think I can attach it with tape. She can only walk if all her legs are working together…maybe I should have made it so each can operate individually…hmm…it would take more work, but it wouldn’t be too ha- ah!”

With a jolt, Rui drops his tool and lets the robot fall back into his lap. He clutches his left hand in the other, eyes pressed shut.

“What?” Tsukasa sits forwards. “What happened? Are you okay? Did you stab yourself? Let me see!”

“I-it’s okay…” Rui slowly moves his hand back. There’s a little red mark on the side of his thumb. “I forgot to turn the power off so it was a little hot…but it doesn’t hurt, don’t worry.”

“It burned you?! That’s serious, you need to get it treated as soon as you can! It could get worse or leave a scar if not!” Tsukasa fumbles around to grab Rui’s bag. “Do you have any water? If not, I’ll find some-”

“I told you, it doesn’t hurt. These things happen all the time.”

“I know, and that’s why you should be more careful! Ah, here!” Tsukasa takes out an unopened bottle of water, swiftly snapping off the cap. “It’s not very cold, but better than nothing. Are there any first aid kits around here? Ideally we need a cooling pad, and some gauze-”

“You’re really worried a lot,” Rui says, almost pityingly. How irritating, he really looks concerned on Tsukasa’s behalf. “This is barely a first-degree burn. That’s not serious at all.”

“Any burn is serious! And I’m looking after you right now, so it’s my job to help you! Here! Hold out your hand!” Tsukasa readies the water, and Rui obliges, though Tsukasa gets the impression he’s only doing so because he feels bad for him. Well, whatever works. Rui only flinches a little when the water makes contact. “It’s good it hadn’t been opened, but you really should be drinking too.”

“That’s okay. I haven’t been thirsty today yet.”

“What do you mean, haven’t been thirsty today-” Tsukasa huffs, though it’s no real surprise to learn Rui has never been good at taking care of his basic needs. “How is it now? Let me see.”

“It’s already gone,” Rui says, quickly positioning his hands back on the robot so Tsukasa can no longer see the affected thumb. “You don’t need to worry. And you definitely don’t need to tell my parents either.”

I hope you get now why I always have to check in on you whilst you’re working on your projects, Tsukasa thinks in exasperation. Far too many ‘oh, this? this is nothing, it was a minor incident, don’t worry’. The worst is when Rui points to a bruise on Tsukasa’s arm or leg and counters with ‘was this here yesterday?’, as if that’s even at all the same thing. It’s not like he can control what happens during his training or rehearsals!

“Is it okay for you to keep working on it even though it hurt you?” Tsukasa asks, anxiety teetering again as he watches Rui continue to shift metal panels and wire.

“It’s okay. She didn’t mean to. She was probably just scared and hurting. I turned off the switch already, so she won’t be nervous anymore.”

“I mean for your own sake…”

“Don’t worry, I make my robots by myself,” Rui says. “If anything goes wrong, it’s just me that will get hurt. Even though I wish my classmates would understand that most stuff is really safe, I get why they’re scared.”

“You’ll meet people who aren’t scared,” Tsukasa suddenly has to tell him. Hopefully this won’t break too many timeline rules. Rui frowns. “Just like Laika! She’ll meet friendly aliens too. People who aren’t scared of dogs.”

“...That’s just a story. In real life, people will be upset if you hurt them. Even by accident.”

“If it’s an accident, they’ll understand.”

Rui shakes his head. “They’ll get scared and want to run away. That’s normal. That’s how people are.”

“But Laika accidentally shocked you, and you understood it was an accident. You said it yourself, right? You’re not mad or scared of her.”

“No,” Rui admits. “But. She’s a robot. And it was my fault. Maybe she’s mad at me. Or she would be, if she could be.”

“I get why you find it scary. But just like Laika does to you, you’ll find people who trust and understand you. And they won’t find you scary even if you try to launch them out of a rocket or push them into a trapdoor full of zombies.”

“...What kind of people are these?”

“Weird people!” Tsukasa places a hand on his heart. “And those weird people are going to become your friends and they’ll be excited by all your ideas and thoughts and shows! Well, I’m not weird, of course, but I still like your ideas.”

“Hmm.” Rui still seems unsure, but that’s okay, because he has a long time to learn all these things. If he can’t quite get it now, that’s not a problem. “Next time you do a show, can I come and see? If you ask my parents, they should let me go. Maybe I can ask Nene too.”

“Of course! Bring as many people as you like!” Tsukasa grins. “I have a feeling you’ll like it.”

-

How very ridiculous.

Rui should’ve known, just known, just from the way Tsukasa let it drop so easily the first time it had been mentioned, that he was going to ask again at some point. Of course he wants to use something big and flashy for that scene; doesn’t he realise Rui had initially thought the same thing? But then he had remembered the way the mechanism had malfunctioned back in his first serious tests, the way it had almost sliced him up all at once, and considering the only reason that hadn’t happened was because Rui had jumped out of the way as soon as something first seemed amiss…Tsukasa is shorter than him so the measurements would be different – would it have happened sooner if it had been him standing there? – and he most certainly wouldn’t leave the stage unless he absolutely had to. No way. Even thinking of it is absurd.

Rui leans back against the bench, watching the candy-coloured balloons float next to the fountain. Night is always a glorious time in Sekai, even if he is a bit put-off tonight. It’s quiet too; can the others perhaps sense his disconcertion and as such want to stay away? Honestly, Rui’s not really sure talking would help. Well, he wants to talk to Tsukasa, but that would surely just lead back into the same cycle again. 

Ah, it really is ridiculous. The way he perfectly acts the part when Rui joyfully suggests blowing him up, but then seems eager to partake in something that would actually cause him serious harm? So he knows what danger is, but yet chooses to step into it anyway. And he wants to do that because Rui once dropped a seed that it might be a possibility. That’s the worst part. That, and the fact he hasn’t come up with a better solution yet. He’s annoyed at Tsukasa. He’s annoyed at himself. 

Above him, the leaves of the trees rustle, though Rui can’t feel any wind. He lifts his head up and watches. Sekai does host many bird plushies, though he’s not sure they usually make a habitat in the trees. Something is definitely up there, though. It’s shining through the branches, and despite its best attempt, can’t seem to quite maintain its hidden position. With a final swish of leaves, the source of light slips through. Rui has just enough time to register it as a fragment piece before it lands into his outstretched palm with a hard crash, and then-

“...Still nothing, huh…”

It’s raining.

He hears it first, a heavy beating of raindrops against what must be a window or a roof, but as his eyes adjust more, he realises the reason it’s only in his ears and not on his skin is because he’s now inside. There’s a wall in front of him, and a door to his side. Behind him, a staircase and a bannister. Ah, he knows this house. The open space and orange glow- this is the landing right outside of Tsukasa’s bedroom.

What an odd place for a fragment piece to send him. Is this because of their argument? Rui is about to go investigate, but then he hears a muffled sniff from the door next to him. All the lights are on, and the door is ajar. Rui hesitates, and then knocks gently.

“Hello…?” 

He peeks in, one hand cradling the doorknob, and inside, sitting curled up on a well-made bed, is Tsukasa. A tiny, teary-eyed version of Tsukasa. All of Rui’s anger instantly melts away.

“Wh-wha-?” A hand is on his cheek in a mere matter of seconds as he looks up to see Rui at his door, face contorting in a similar horror to when Rui had walked in on him crying at a TV drama not longer after they had moved in together. First, the horror of being caught crying, and second, the horror of ‘how did this strange man get into my house’. It’s the exact same. Rui takes a step back.

“Sorry, Tsukasa, I didn’t mean to startle you.” If Rui listens carefully, the house is unusually quiet. That likely just isn’t an effect of being in a fragment sekai. “Your parents sent me to see if you were okay, since you’re home alone right now.”

“M-my parents…?” Tsukasa rubs at his face, more roughly this time. “Are they okay? Is Saki okay? I wasn’t crying! I was just- acting! I was preparing for if I had a role where I had to be really upset, but I wasn’t actually! If you thought I was, that’s just because I’m really good at it!”

“Of course.” Rui smiles. “I don’t have much news from your parents yet. But Saki will be okay, don’t worry.”

“Really…?” At once, his teary face brightens, and he scrambles off the bed. “So, do you think they’ll be home tonight after all?”

“I’m not sure yet.” The memory probably won’t last that long, but he doesn’t want to lie, nevertheless. “When did they say they’d be back?”

“Well…my mom said she’d try her best when they left. But when she called earlier tonight, she said it might be after I’m already asleep, and that I shouldn’t try to stay up. But, I wouldn’t ever stay up late! I know that bedtime is important!”

Rui smiles. “You’re right. It is.”

“Maybe my parents sent you because they were worried about me, but they don’t need to be!” Tsukasa grabs a raccoon plushie that Rui may have seen once before in Sekai from the top of his bed and holds it in his arms. Compared to what Rui remembers the last time he saw it, Tsukasa’s room is startlingly similar even decades ago. More toys, but it’s still well put together and tidy. Much cleaner than Rui recalls his own room being at this age. Or any age, really. “I’m really good at taking care of the whole house when everyone else is out. Look, I’ll show you!”

Tsukasa hurtles towards the door, and Rui has no choice but to follow. Of course, he already knows his way around Tsukasa’s house, but he lets himself be shown around anyway, nodding keenly as Tsukasa explains how he’s made sure his sister’s room is all ready for her return and that he made sure all the cushions on the couch are fluffed up and sitting where they are supposed to be. His emphasis on the last part suggests that at one point they were perhaps very much not where they were supposed to be. Rui understands. Cushions make excellent walls for impromptu stages.

“-and the kitchen is all cleaned up,” Tsukasa continues, leading Rui over to marvel at the wiped countertops and scrubbed dishes. “I made my own dinner too! I asked Mom to show me how to use the rice cooker the other day and now I’m really good at it! Even though I accidentally made a bit too much…hey, if you’re hungry, you can have some curry rice, if you’d like!”

“Maybe later, thank you.” It certainly is tidy in here. Almost unnervingly so. It’s like nobody lives here, except for this proud little boy standing in the middle of it all. “You’re doing a very good job, it seems. Your parents must be happy to have such a responsible son.”

“I hope they are!” His confident voice wavers somewhat. “I know I can’t really do much, but…I hope even this little bit makes things easier for them. They shouldn’t be worrying about me too. Not when Saki is still…”

Tsukasa’s gaze lowers, and he goes quiet. The rain is still loud outside.

“Is that your friend?” Rui asks.

“What?” Tsukasa blinks, and Rui gestures to the plush in his arms. “Oh! Yeah! Well, actually, most recently, he’s playing a spy who’s actually a huge supervillain! And I’m the one who’s gonna stop him!”

“Oh my, that’s very exciting.” He almost certainly chose the raccoon due to its mask-like markings. That’s a little endearing. “How are you going to do it? Won’t it be hard to stop someone undercover?”

“It won’t be easy,” Tsukasa agrees, suddenly very serious. “There’s a lot of lasers in his base, and if even one touches me, then I’ll turn to dust instantly! But I’ve been practising a lot! I can get down super low, like this- and I can jump high too!”

Rui claps. “My, how agile.”

“That’s why I’m going to save the day,” Tsukasa continues, grinning. “I like those kinds of stories best! No matter how hard it is, I always save everyone in the end! Then when I show Saki, she knows she’s going to be okay! Because she has such a dedent…dedennpable…”

“Dependable,” Rui offers.

“Yeah, that! She has a depend-dable older brother who’ll make sure nothing bad ever happens to her! Or- no more bad things, at least.” Tsukasa’s smile drops again. “She might not get to see it for a while though. And I have to let her rest when she comes home…”

“I’m sure she’ll enjoy it very much when she gets to see it.” It really is a big house to be alone in for so long. “Would it be okay if you showed it to me for now?"

“Really?!” Before the thought seems to have fully formed, Tsukasa is already grabbing the cushions from the sofa and making a clearing by the fireplace. “Okay! I’ll have to get some of the others from upstairs too- there’s a lot of characters- I’ll tell you the basic story first so you won’t get confused! Okay, so it’s set like a really long time ago, like a really really long time ago, like fifty years ago when everything was black and white-”

To see Tsukasa at the very start of his acting career really is a wonderful novelty. Certainly, Rui has seen the videos of his early performances from back before they met, but there’s something very special about witnessing it in person. The story absolutely makes zero sense and Rui is pretty sure Tsukasa is adlibbing at least ninety-five percent of everything he’s saying, but it’s delightful nevertheless. Knowing that this is a story to help his sister smile whilst she recovers in hospital is enough to earn Rui’s genuine applause by the time Tsukasa takes his bow, sweeping one arm in front of him. Ah, he still does them like that even now. 

“That was very creative,” Rui says as Tsukasa beams. “I really would’ve never thought the lasers would be stopped with freshly baked bread, but it actually makes a lot of sense.”

“Right?” Tsukasa nods eagerly. “And, I was thinking maybe I could add in another scene where I meet with the other boss of the company, and he tells me there’s no way that I’m ever gonna get through all their traps, but then-”

A soft beeping fills the room, and Tsukasa stops, head whipping to the side. Rui thinks for a moment it might be a phone call, his family telling him when they’ll be home despite the late hour, but then he sees Tsukasa head back to the kitchen and he realises, ah, it’s just the dishwasher.

“I should clean this up too before they get home,” he says as if this will be sometime soon, receiving a face full of steam as he yanks the door open. “I hope my mom will say ‘ah, Tsukasa, you cleaned up everything there too? What a responsible and depend-dable son, I knew we could count on you!’”

“Let me help you,” Rui says, standing up. “Some of the shelves are quite high.”

“No.” The reply is quick and deliberate. “I can take care of myself.”

“Of course you can. But since I’m here, I might as well-”

“I can take care of myself,” Tsukasa repeats, firmer. “I don’t want anyone to think they have to worry about me! I’m super good at this, so you can sit down and relax!”

“...Of course.” So Rui perches on the edge of the couch, monitoring carefully as Tsukasa pulls out drawers and begins to set each piece of kitchenware where it belongs. All his movements are strategic and concentrated, as if he’s trying to demonstrate he does this all the time and therefore requires no assistance. Unfortunately, that only makes Rui want to help more. Did he ever help his parents out with these things when he was this age? Maybe, when he was asked. 

Tsukasa has a little plastic stool to help him reach up to the higher shelves, and he drags it across the kitchen with unwavering resolve. His parents probably didn’t design this kitchen thinking a young child would ever be putting away all their dishes and cups. But, the stool is only designed for reaching the top of a counter, so when Tsukasa stretches up to one of the very highest shelves, it slides back. There’s a terrible moment where Rui can only watch Tsukasa teeter, and fall.

“Tsukasa-!” Rui rushes to his side, bending down next to where he’s laying face down.. “Tsukasa, are you okay-?”

“I’m fine.” He clenches his fists against the tiles, and Rui can see him shaking. “It- doesn’t hurt at all. I’m fine.”

“That looked like a hard fall. You didn’t hit your head, did you?”

“I’m fine. I'm fine.” He repeats it again as if it’s a spell that will give him enough energy to sit up. Something about the way he speaks suggests this is something he would be saying regardless of if Rui was present or not. There’s broken ceramic on the floor and his chin is bleeding. He must’ve hit it against the floor. “I’m usually…really good at this.”

“You’re very good at it.” Rui fetches a roll of kitchen tissue from the side, but Tsukasa snatches it from him before he can offer it out. He really wants to do it himself, huh. “The stool slipped. That’s all. That’s not your fault.”

“I made a mess.” Tsukasa stares in dismay at the floor. He holds dry tissue against his face, and Rui knows from all the vicarious first aid he’s learned over the years that he really should wet it. Clean it up first. Then they can add a plaster after the bleeding has stemmed. That’s what Tsukasa would tell him to do. Would the first aid kit still be stored under the sink, the same place Tsukasa insists it be in their own apartment? “Oh, you should be careful! You might step on the shards.”

You’re at more risk than me, Rui wants to tell him, but he has a feeling it won’t make any difference. Luckily, he’s much faster than Tsukasa even as an adult, so he has no trouble swiping the broom before Tsukasa can get to it. If he wants to nurse his own wounds, Rui can’t do much about that, but he can definitely make sure that this child version of Tsukasa isn’t going to be sorting out a shattered plate all on his own.

“I could’ve done it,” Tsukasa tells him earnestly.

“Well, I’m doing it now.” Rui matches his tone as he hands Tsukasa a disinfectant wipe from the kit that thankfully was in its usual place. He looks dismayed, sitting on the stool with his hand against his chin like a weary salaryman who just missed the last train of the night. It’s okay now, but Rui can’t help but wonder; this is a Sekai based on what is probably a real memory in Tsukasa’s life. It’s a recollection and a retelling, but the real version didn’t happen like this. There was nobody else here on the night this actually occurred, was there?

“...It’s bleeding a lot,” Tsukasa says after a moment of silence.

“Cuts on the face bleed more,” Rui tells him. “Is it slowing down?”

Tsukasa inspects the tissue. “I think so. Yes.”

“That’s good.”

“You can go home if you want,” he says then, and Rui looks at him. “I probably look like I don’t know what I’m doing, but I do, so you don’t need to worry about me. If you want to go, you can.”

“I’m not going to go yet.”

“Why not? I told you, I can take care of myself.”

“But you know, it’s okay sometimes to let other people take care of you too.”

“I don’t want anyone to worry about me. This doesn’t hurt at all. Saki has to go through much, much worse.”

“I know you don’t want anyone to worry about you. But sometimes, they will anyway.”

“...How do I stop that?”

“You can’t. You have to learn to accept it. People will worry about you when they love you.”

“...Does that mean my parents worry about me?” Tsukasa asks quietly. “Even though I try my best to make sure they don’t have to?”

“It does,” Rui says softly. “They’ll worry about Saki, and they’ll worry about you too. Because they love both of you. That’s just how it works.”

“I think they should just worry about Saki.”

“...Does it make you feel happy when you get to help your parents and your sister?”

“It does!” Tsukasa nods so vigorously that he can’t hide the wince of pain the movement causes. “I like doing that more than anything!”

“That’s how it is for other people too. They get worried about you, but then they feel happy helping you. Like right now. It made me happy to clean up the plate for you.”

He still looks troubled, but at least it’s not quite as guilty as before. Well, it’s okay if he doesn’t quite get it now. Rui isn’t sure he quite gets it even in the present day. That’s fine. Rui will just have to keep showing him.

“It stopped bleeding now,” Tsukasa says a few moments later, removing the tissue so Rui can see. 

“Now let’s clean it again and put on a bandage.” And amazingly, Tsukasa lifts up his chin and lets Rui apply it for him. His eyebrows are pressed firmly down the whole time, but doesn’t duck away. “You’re very brave.”

His mouth wobbles upwards slightly. “I don’t have anything to be scared about.”

Rui turns around, and surveys the empty house. The clocks all say it’s late. There hasn’t been a single phone call all night. All of the lights, still on.

“...Hey, Tsukasa?” Rui faces forward again, still kneeling. “Do you want to know a secret?”

Tsukasa springs up, though he surely must be getting tired by now. “What?”

“When you grow up, you’re going to become a very very good actor.”

“Really?!”

“And Saki is going to recover fine, eventually. She’ll be happy and healthy every day. You’ll see her often, and every time you do, she’ll have a new fun story to share about all the adventures in her life.”

“Real…ly…?” Oh, such intense relief. “She’s really…okay…?”

“She is, because you helped her so much.”

Tsukasa doesn’t reply, but his eyes start to shine.

“And,” Rui continues, “you’re going to live with someone who also enjoys shows very much. Every day you’ll come home and know that the house will never stay empty. You’ll always have someone to spend time with.”

“With my family…?” 
 
“Not your family, though you still see them all the time. Someone else. Someone who does worry about you but someone who does so because they love you a lot.”

“How do you know…?” Tsukasa’s voice shakes.

“Because you told me.” Rui smiles at the teary, wide-eyed boy in front of him. “Shall we go home, Tsukasa?”

-

When Rui appears back in the apartment, he’s in the bedroom. It feels like he’s been gone for hours, but a quick glance at the bedside table reveals it’s been less than forty minutes. There’s a sense of peace being back in his familiar environment, in a place and time he knows he belongs, but there’s still a slight edge to the air. It’s as though the silence has recognised it doesn’t really belong in their living space, and is awkwardly pondering if it should leave.

Rui makes it two steps out the bedroom before he’s met with Tsukasa also heading in his direction. At the sight of his familiar grown face, Rui’s heart shifts, and he suddenly has no idea why he ever felt the need to get angry in the first place.

“Rui! I’m sorry!” As always, Tsukasa says it before Rui can. “I said too much and I was being unreasonable. I’m really sorry!”

“No, I’m sorry too.” Rui moves closer to bring him into a hug, this version of Tsukasa who isn’t really that different to the Tsukasa he just saw. They’re different. They’re the same. “I didn’t mean to get so short with you. I was just worried.”

“I know. You always have my best interests at heart, and I’m beyond grateful for that!” Tsukasa squeezes him tightly. “I’m so lucky to have a partner who cares about me so much and who lets me hear all their wonderful performance ideas!”

“And I’m so grateful to have someone so brave that he’s willing to try out my inventions even when they’re so dangerous.” Rui runs a hand through Tsukasa’s hair, letting it fall down to his cheek and cup around his face. His thumb brushes a small notch of scar tissue sitting just beneath Tsukasa’s chin. 

“Of course! Because I trust you!” Tsukasa pulls back suddenly, grabbing Rui’s left hand and pulling it up to his face for a scrutinising inspection. The side of his thumb. Ah. Rui all at once knows exactly what must’ve happened to Tsukasa in the time he was gone, and the exact memory he saw. Painful to remember, but not quite as much when he considers a version where Tsukasa was there with him.

“Thank you,” Rui murmurs, twisting his hand to entwine with Tsukasa’s, “for being there.”

“Hm? Of course! I always will be. Listen, Rui, there’ll be something else that works for that scene. I’m sure of it. Something that works even better than anything else we’ve considered! We can think of it together, okay?”

“Okay.” And, greedily, Rui has to pull him into another hug. He never wants to let go, never wants to lose that love beating so hard inside his chest. Thankfully, Tsukasa lets him indulge just a little longer. Rui hopes he can hear his silent words. I’m here. I wasn’t there back then, but I’m here now. I’m here.

“I still have to make dinner,” Tsukasa says eventually, and Rui laughs into his shoulder before finally pushing back.

“Let me wash up after,” Rui says. “I’ll put everything away too.”

“I mean, you don’t have to do that-” Tsukasa apparently catches a glimpse of whatever expression Rui is making right now. “...But you…can if you want…?”

“Thank you.” 

“You don’t need to say thank you if you’re the one cleaning up. Listen, Rui, there’ll be something really good we can do for that scene, I bet. Do you remember that recording we watched a while back? We should watch that again and see if we can get any ideas from the staging they did in the introductory scene!”

“That could be interesting.” Rui follows Tsukasa back to the kitchen, as if pulled effortlessly by a magnet. “They used a blend between lighting and props to create a shrinking feeling for the main character…hm, we would have to make a few adjustments…but if it was hidden from the start, then definitely, we could…”

“That’s what I’m thinking too!” Tsukasa grins. “Also, maybe it’s too soon to say, but- I think for our next show, we should do something about space.”

“Oh?” Rui watches him keenly. “Why do you say that?”

“I just-! Thought it’d be interesting.” Tsukasa spins around to hide his face in a cupboard, and Rui laughs.

It doesn’t hurt the way it used to. Thinking of those years alone, the burns and cuts and bruises- they all used to hurt so much, but now, it’s not the same. Not completely gone, because they probably never will be, but- that pain isn’t quite as visceral as it once was. He’s here now. He’s here, so he knows, it will all be okay.