Actions

Work Header

𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺, 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦

Summary:

“Reign… The nature of thine soul is…”
There was a sickeningly long pause.
“...unclear to me.”
Crowley blanched. When he spoke, his voice trembled. “What did you just say?”
“I sense very weak magical power from thee. Muted. Frail. Debilitated. Utterly untrained. Therefore, no dorm would be appropriate.”
The students began muttering once more, and Crowley crossed his arms. “Are you suggesting the carriage went to retrieve a person who cannot even control their magic? That’s just absurd. The student selection process has not erred once in its century of existence! How could this have happened?”
Who says I have magic? This is getting weird. I want to wake up now.
--
This is a rewrite of my old fic Sweet Hibiscus Tea. I was in early high school when I wrote it and I kind of abandoned it, but my interest in twst returned and I thought it would be fun to rewrite it!!

Notes:

Wow it’s been a while. I originally wrote this when I was 15/16. I’m gonna be 21 in three months!!! Time moves so fast I swear 💔
This is for the most part going to be a giant edit with a lot of parts rewritten, and then of course I’ll continue writing where I left off in the old fic. I intend to finish it this time. Anyways, enjoy!!!

Chapter Text

ᴀɴᴅ ɪꜰ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ʀᴇᴀʟ, ᴛʜᴇɴ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ
(𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬- 𝘯𝘰 𝘥𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘵)


 

 

Rain pattered on the windshield as I pulled into the driveway. It was the dead of night; I’d just gotten home from a late shift, but I was reluctant to leave the car and go inside. Every few minutes, the low rumble of thunder shook the earth as I sat in the parked car, listening to music.

The rain obscured my view of the outside, but I could faintly make out a green light. Figuring it was just a car, I waited for it to pass, but it was just sitting there. I squinted; through the rain, I could make out a-

Was that a horse-drawn carriage?

It was. The horses stood there in the rain, their manes drenched. Feeling a shiver down my spine, I quickly stopped the car. Keeping my eyes on the carriage, I reached for my bag, slung it over my shoulder, and opened the car door. I was met with the cold rain, which quickly began to soak me.

The two horses and wooden carriage were a dark purple, almost black, and the horses had feathers on their heads. On the horses’ necks, and hanging from the windows of the carriage, were lanterns lit with a green flame. That must have been the green light I’d mistaken for a car.

Both horses were staring at me, and one snorted.

I stared back, unmoving. My hair was now sticking to my face, and my glasses were so drenched that I couldn’t see out of them.

The horse that snorted shook its head, and it almost looked as if it was gesturing towards the carriage, telling me to get in. 

No, that’s ridiculous, I told myself. I turned around and began walking up my driveway.

A horse neighed loudly.

I paused and turned back. Both horses were still staring at me, and the door to the carriage slowly creaked open.

Nope, fuck that. I ran towards the door of my house, fumbled with the lock, and threw the door open. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” a voice from the kitchen yelled. My mother, Tabitha, was leaning against the sink, cigarette dangling from her mouth. Her hair was a mess, and her green tank top had a wet stain on the front. She scowled, removing the cigarette from her mouth and flicking the ash onto the floor. “First you come home late, then you soak the floors, and now you’re slamming shit around to wake your sister?”

I sighed, my patience too thin to deal with her tonight. I quietly apologized and went upstairs. I took a quick shower and lay down in bed, hugging tight my stuffed rabbit.

 

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

 

When I awoke, it was to complete darkness. I was laying on something wooden, and reaching a hand out proved that I was encased in something. A box, perhaps? I heard shuffling, and then someone spoke.

“I’d better hurry up and find that uniform before someone spots me….”

Whatever I was in, the lid began trembling. There was a groan. “This lid weighs a ton! Ugh, try this on for size!”

A sudden, searing heat erupted in front of me as the lid was blown clean off by crackling blue flames. I gasped, pressing myself against the back of the box.

I blinked, and a furry face appeared in front of me. It was a cat. A grey cat with blue flames in its ears. It stood on its hind legs and, when it opened its mouth, it spoke.

“What? You’re not supposed to be awake! No matter, give me your uniform and be quick about it!”

“My what?” I found myself asking.

The cat tugged on my sleeve, and when I looked down, my heart stopped.

My clothes were different. I was wearing extravagant black and purple robes, decorated with gold accents. I gasped in shock, glancing around. When I saw what awaited me, my stomach dropped.

I was in a chamber of sorts, with a large mirror in the middle and coffins scattered about. There must have been hundreds of them, and some were even floating. Slowly, I glanced down.

I was in a coffin, myself.

I jumped up, my heart thudding wildly in my chest. I sidestepped the cat, then made a mad dash to the large double doors. I threw them open, running into the halls. I wasn’t quite sure where I was going or how I would get there, but I made it into a library. I slowed my pace, glancing all around. Some books were scattered on the floor, some floating like the coffins. I was almost entirely sure I was dreaming.

In a flash, blue fire blocked my path. The cat from earlier stood with his paws on his hips. “Foolish human. Did you really think you could slip away from me? Now, unless you wanna get burned to a crisp, take off that-”

Out of nowhere came a whip, ensnaring the little creature. From behind a shelf emerged a man wearing the most ridiculous getup I’ve ever seen. A tophat, feathers on his shoulders, a beaklike mask… of course this happens while I’m already overstimulated.

The cat let out a screech. “What was that?

“Consider it tough love.” He turned to me. “Ah, I’ve found you at last. Splendid. I trust you’re one of this year’s new students?”

Numbly, I shook my head. “No, I’m not.”

He didn’t listen, picking the cat up by the scruff of his neck. “My, were you ever eager to make your debut. And bringing a poorly-trained familiar with you? That is a clear violation of the school’s rules.”

“I’m not a student,” I repeated, but my words fell on deaf ears.

The cat gave a yelp. “As if I’d serve some lowly human! Now lemme go!”

The oddly dressed man patted the cat on the head. “Yes, yes, rebellious familiars always say that. Do be quiet for a bit, won’t you?” He turned back to me. “Dear me, of all the students I’ve dealt with, you’re the first with temerity enough to open their own gate and step out of it. Does the very notion of patience elude you? No matter. Your orientation has already begun. Let us return to the Mirror Chamber.”

“I’m not a student,” I said again, this time with more edge to my voice.

“Of course you are. You awakened in a room full of gates, did you not? All the students here arrived by passing through such gates. Although typically the students have restraint enough to wait until I open them before waking up.”

He walked ahead of me, a spring in his step. I followed him, unsure of what else to do.

“Where am I?” I demanded.

He paused, putting a gloved hand on his chin. “Hm? Have you not fully regained consciousness? The timespace teleportation must have addled your memories… Well, these things happen, I suppose. I shall explain it to you as we walk. Truly, my magnanimity is boundless!” He grabbed my wrist with one hand, the cat squirming in his other, and began walking once more.

“Ahem! This is Night Raven College, an institution for students the world over who demonstrate a rare aptitude for magic. It is the most prestigious academy of its sort in all of Twisted Wonderland. I am Dire Crowley. Having been entrusted with its care by the chairman, I serve as Headmage.”

“Magic?” I echoed, baffled.

Crowley tilted his head. “Yes, magic. Please pay attention. Only those who the Dark Mirror perceives as having a talent for magic are admitted to this college. Those who are selected are summoned to the campus through those gates, which can appear anywhere. A black carriage bearing one such gate should have come to meet you.”

I suddenly remembered sitting in my car when I saw that odd horse-drawn carriage.

“That carriage serves to receive a student chosen by the Dark Mirror. It too bears a gate that connects to this campus. And as you know, sending a carriage to meet someone on a special day is a time-honored tradition.”

I made a face. “A time-honored tradition where?

Crowley ignored me, pushing open a door. “Now, let us attend to your orientation.” He threw open the doors.

“Hey, does anyone know where the Headmage went?” a boy with blonde hair, dyed purple at the tips, asked. “He disappeared midway through the ceremony.”

“Some Headmage he is,” muttered a voice that seemingly came from a floating tablet.

“Maybe he had a tummy ache?” suggested a youthful-looking boy with red eyes.

“I most certainly did not!” Crowley announced, a frown on his lips. “If you must know, I was searching for the new student who’d failed to show up for orientation.”

“I’m not a student,” I said once more.

Crowley ignored this, glaring at me. “You are the only one who has yet to be assigned a dorm. Step up to the Dark Mirror, and be quick about it. I’ll watch your dog.”

“Not my dog,” I said, approaching the large mirror.

“State thy name,” it said. I shivered. Inside the mirror floated an odd mask, its features twisted in a frown.

Hesitantly, I answered. “Uh, Reign Adler?”

“Reign… The nature of thine soul is…”

There was a sickeningly long pause.

“...unclear to me.”

Crowley blanched. When he spoke, his voice trembled. “What did you just say?”

“I sense very weak magical power from thee. Muted. Frail. Debilitated. Utterly untrained. Therefore, no dorm would be appropriate.”

The students began muttering once more, and Crowley crossed his arms. “Are you suggesting the carriage went to retrieve a person who cannot even control their magic? That’s just absurd. The student selection process has not erred once in its century of existence! How could this have happened?”

Who says I have magic? This is getting weird. I want to wake up now.

The cat finally struggled loose of Crowley’s grip. “Me! Let me have this student’s seat!”

Crowley looked horrified. “Not so fast, you hyperactive weasel!”

“Unlike that human, I can actually use my magic! So let me be a student here! Look, I’ll show you!” The cat took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

A redhead let out an alarmed gasp, falling to his knees. “Everyone get down!

The cat let out a howl, and fire burst through the room. I watched as chaos descended on the room. The red-eyed boy from earlier screeched in alarm, running from a fire that was lapping up the robes on his backside. As he ran past me, I called out “Wait! Stop running!”

He stopped his running, instead jumping in place.

I used my long sleeve to cover my hand, then patted down his robes until the fire dissipated.

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you! You really saved me, huh?”

“It’s no big deal,” I shrugged. “Don’t let your ass catch fire again, alright?”

Across the room, a boy with glasses sighed and took out what looked like a pen. “If none of you are up to the task of catching a small animal, I will accept the responsibility.”

The tablet chuckled. “Way to go, Azul. Racking up those participation credits.”

The guy with glasses- Azul, as he had been called- chuckled as the cat ran in front of him. “Aren’t you a spunky little fellow? Riddle, would you be so kind?”

“Furry miscreant,” the redhead spat. “I will have no rule breaking. You will be judged by my hand.”

The two of them began bickering amongst themselves. The cat was going haywire, desperately shooting fire out of his mouth and ears. Azul and Riddle both leapt forward in an attempt to catch the cat, bumping into each other. Riddle shoved Azul away. “Get off of me!”

“You’re in the way,” Azul said coolly.

They were hopeless. As the saying goes, if you want it done right you have to do it yourself. I quickly darted forward, scruffing the cat. I brought my head down next to the cat’s flaming ear, grit my teeth, and spoke in a low tone. “Y’know, this is going to have the exact opposite effect of what you want.”

Seizing the opportunity, Riddle shouted “Off with your head!” and, in a flash of light, a heart-shaped collar appeared around the cat’s neck. “The Queen of Hearts’ Rule 23: ‘One must never bring a cat to a formal affair.’ Your very presence here is a violation of order. You will vacate the premises immediately.”

“But I ain't a cat, either! I’m the great Grim! Don’t you try’n collar me, I’ll burn it right off!” After a second of struggling, a look of panic overtook the cat- or rather, Grim’s- face. “Huh? My- my fire ain’t working!”

Riddle smiled smugly. “Until I deign to remove that collar, you won’t be using any magic. You’re naught but a pet cat now.”

“What? I ain’t nobody’s pet nothing!

“Oh, you’ve nothing to worry about there. I certainly have no interest in having you as a pet. The collar will disappear once you’re removed from campus,” Riddle said.

Crowley glared at me. “Reign! Was I not clear that you are expected to take responsibility for your familiar?”

“Listen, birdbrain, I already told you it isn’t mine. Maybe if you took your head out of your ass you’d be able to hear the world around you.” The room went silent.

A boy with mint green hair glared at me. “You should know better than to talk down to your superiors!”

Crowley blinked. “It’s… not your familiar?”

“I’ve told you repeatedly that it isn’t mine.”

He was quiet for a moment. “Oh… is that so…?” He coughed awkwardly. “Then I shall have it expelled from campus. I shall even spare it from being served as dinner. My, but I am kind…. Someone take this away, please.”

Riddle picked Grim up by the scruff. “No, let me go! You fools better remember my name!

I watched as Grim was thrown out the door, monologuing to himself. “Damn, I feel kinda sorry for him.”

Crowley shook his head. “Don’t be. Well, I hereby declare this orientation has concluded. Housewardens, please escort your students back to the dorms.”

A boy with heavy black eyeliner coughed. 

Crowley tilted his head. “Hm? Oh, come to think of it, I don’t see Housewarden Draconia of House Diasomnia anywhere.”

“And that surprises you?” said a lazy-looking young man. “Dude’s a total recluse.”

“Wait a sec,” said the red-eyed boy, whose robes were now singed from the fire, “did anyone even invite him?”

“If you’re so worried about him missing out, maybe you should have told him yourself,” a young man with half-dyed purple hair said.

“Maybe, but I don’t know him too well, either.”

Students began muttering, gossiping about this Draconia boy, and the boy with the eyeliner sighed. “Just as I’d expected.” For someone so baby-faced, he had a deep voice. “I figured I’d come down and see for myself whether Malleus had made an appearance. But once again, he was evidently not informed that his presence was required at an official ceremony.”

“You have my sincerest apologies,” Azul bowed. “I assure you, this oversight was in no way intended as a snub.”

Riddle nodded. “I mean, you must admit, he’s not exactly the easiest person to strike up a conversation with,”

“No matter,” said the boy with the eyeliner. “All who were assigned to House Diasomnia, follow me.” And then, under his breath, “I just hope he doesn’t sulk about this.”

Students began filing out the door. One of the last to leave was the boy with mint green hair. He paused at the door to glare at me one last time before the boy with the eyeliner grabbed his forearm and pulled him away, chuckling. 

The only two left in the room were me and Crowley.

“Well, Reign,” he sighed. “This is a most unfortunate turn of events.”

“Not really,” I said. “I just want to wake up.”

“Still convinced this is a dream, are you?” Crowley smiled. “Well, worry not. The Dark Mirror will see you safely home.” He turned. “O Dark Mirror, return this soul to where it belongs!”

Nothing happened.

Crowley awkwardly cleared his throat. “L-let us, er… try this again. O Dark Mirror, return this soul-”

“There is no such place,” the mirror said.

“What?”

“There is no place in this world where this soul belongs. None.”

I began to feel sick. 

“How can that be?” Crowley cried. “My, but today is a veritable cavalcade of impossible phenomena! This has never happened throughout my long tenure. I must confess that I am at something of a loss. Tell me, Reign, from what land do you hail?”

I blinked. “America?”

Crowley made a face, deep in thought. “I’m afraid I am not familiar with such a place. I am intimately acquainted with the origins of every student who has ever come here, and yet… this mysterious homeland of yours eludes me.”

“America isn’t that mysterious. In fact, most people there seem to think it’s the only place in the world. Not to get too political or anything.”

“Is that so? Let us go to the library and look it up, shall we?”

We walked to the library in complete silence. Once we got there, Crowley pulled multiple books off shelves. When he was finished flipping through the pages, he dropped the books, but instead of falling to the floor, they began floating above his head. “Just as I’d suspected. Nothing. Your homeland is not listed on any map from any point in history. Now, are you quite sure that you come from such a place? That wasn’t some sort of lie, or jape?”

My body buzzed with anxiety. “Now why the fuck would I be lying about this?” My voice was close to hysterical, and tears welled up in my eyes.

He blinked. “First of all, language. I let you off without a warning earlier because the situation was quite stressful, but honestly, two times is more than enough. Second of all, if you’re telling the truth, the only explanation is that you've come from another planet. Or perhaps you were summoned here from another dimension?”

This dream, I realized, had gone on way too long to be a dream. Okay, stay calm, I told myself. You can cry about it later. Now, you need to figure out a way to get home. “Another dimension seems likely, if it’s true that this place is magical. Where I’m from, magic doesn’t even exist.”

“What?” Crowley cried. “Impossible! If that’s true, then why did the Mirror sense magic in you?”

“Well, it brought me here. That was a mistake.” 

He shook his head. “Show me everything you brought here with you. Do you have some form of identification, a driver’s license perhaps?”

I patted my pockets, feeling my heart flutter with relief when I felt my phone. I took it out, removing my driver’s license from the phone case. I handed it over to Crowley for him to inspect.

His eyes scanned the information. “This looks nothing like the identification cards we have here.” He sighed. “Well, this is quite the predicament. I cannot have someone with no control over their magic bumbling about my magic academy.”

“I don’t know why you keep saying I have magic in the first place.” I snatched my ID out of his hand and placed it back into my phone case. “I just explained that the mirror made two consecutive mistakes.”

Crowley continued, as if he hadn’t heard me. “And yet, as an educator, I am loath to expel a hapless teenager without a cent to their name, or any ability to contact their guardian. Truly, my grace is boundless.” The both of us were silent, and I watched as he tapped his chin with a thoughtful expression on his face.

“So… now what?” I asked, fiddling with my phone. 

Crowley excitedly clapped his hands. “There is a vacant building on this campus! It was, in fact, used as a dorm a long time ago. With a proper cleaning, it should be habitable enough. Out of the profound kindness of my heart, I will allow you to live there for the time being. In the meanwhile, we will investigate other ways to send you home. Dear me, but I am a gracious man indeed! A model educator, one might say,”

The weight of everything came crashing down.

I was far away from home, in possibly another dimension, surrounded by strangers with magic. I sank to the ground, trembling, and my vision blured. Before I knew it, my face scrunched up and I began to sob.

Crowley made a noise of surprise, hands flying up in shock. “Wh- hey! Why are you crying? What did I do wrong?”

My hands covered my face. This is so embarrassing.

He lifted me off the floor and awkwardly patted my back. “Uh- there, there? No need to cry! Um, let’s get you to your dorm….”

I followed him out of the library, sniffling. After getting a few odd stares from students, my sobbing came to a slow stop, and Crowley and I made it to a very rundown building.

Rundown was an understatement. I almost started crying again.

Chairs were overturned, moths had eaten holes in the couch, and cobwebs hung from every available surface. Crowley didn’t seem to care, or even notice. “This should keep the elements at bay for the time being. Now, I should return to my research. Do find some way to keep yourself busy. But don’t let me catch you wandering the campus! Ta-ta!”

He hurried off.

I coughed, and dust flew every which way. I righted a chair and began to clean. It’s not like I wanted to, but I physically could not look at this place without trying to clean it. After a few hours, it began to rain, and I had made good progress with the lounge area.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when a voice from behind me exclaimed, “It’s pouring out there!”

Fuck!

Grim let out a nasty laugh. “That look on your face is priceless! Like a bat that got blasted by a water gun! As if I wouldn’t just sneak back onto campus the second I escaped prying eyes. You all got no idea what I’m capable of!”

I tuned him out, returning to the cleaning. I swept and mopped the floors, dusted the furniture and paintings, and righted upturned furniture. After a few minutes of his blabbering, I asked, “Why are you so determined to go to this school? School sucks, you should be avoiding it.”

“Not this school! I was born to go here! I’m a magical prodigy who’s got the making to become one of the greatest mages who ever lived! So I’ve been waiting and waiting for that carriage to come for me. And yet… Hmph! That mirror’s got no eye for talent! That’s why I took the initiative and came here myself. You humans don’t understand what a mistake you’re making-”

I stopped listening, instead going to find some buckets. The cracks in the roof were beginning to let in water.

I tiptoed into the hallway. “This is so scary, and for what?”

There was a thump in the wall. I flinched, but I ultimately ignored it; it was likely a rat or something. Then, a faint shimmer in front of me. I paused, staring at it in confusion, which mounted into horror as three shapes materialized before my eyes.

Ghosts.

The three ghosts surrounded me, laughing and cooing. I backed away. “Grim!

He came around the corner. “What do you- ghosts!

One of the ghosts giggled. “All the people who used to live here got scared of us and ran away.”

“We just want a new ghost to play with,” another elaborated.

They want to kill us, I thought, panicked.

Grim began sobbing. “I’m a master sorcerer! I ain’t afraid of any dumb ghosts!” Fire surrounded us, and the ghosts disappeared and reappeared every time Grim tried to hit one of them.

“Grim, stop,” I yelled, “you’re gonna catch the whole dorm on fire! Open your eyes, dumbass!”

“Shut up!” Grim yelled back.

This wasn’t going to work. “Well, maybe that crow bastard will let you enroll if you get rid of the ghosts?”

The ghosts circled us.

I sighed. “Damn it, let me help.” I plucked a painting off the wall. “Okay, idea; what if you set these on fire and I throw it at them? I’ve got a really good aim. Unlike you.”

So that’s what we did; Grim set various things on fire, which he’s exceptionally skilled at, and I threw the flaming objects at the ghosts. Sooner or later, the ghosts retreated through the ceiling.

Grim blinked. “Did we… win?”

I crossed my arms. “You’re welcome.”

Grim hugged himself. “Aw, geez, I was scared outta my- I mean, they didn’t faze me one bit! Just a walk in the park for a mage of my caliber.”

“Whatever you say.”

 

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

 

I blackmailed Grim into helping me with the cleaning in return for my silence about his “bravery.” The two of us put a dent in the work before the front door opened and in walked Crowley, a sopping wet umbrella in one hand and a plate covered in tin foil in the other. 

“Good evening! In another gesture of my immense kindness, I have bought you dinner!” He paused. “Wait, that’s the creature we ejected for causing trouble at the orientation! What’s it doing here?”

“Taking care of your ghost problem, that’s what,” Grim huffed. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“What is the meaning of this, Reign?” Crowley frowned.

“Well, I was just trying to clean ‘cause this place is repulsive, then Grim broke in, then the roof started leaking so I went to go get some buckets. So then these ghosts showed up and threatened to kill us so Grim lit stuff on fire and I threw the fire at the ghosts ‘cause Grim can’t aim for shit. And yeah.”

“And I was very helpful,” Grim said, giving me a pointed look as he swept the same spot on the floor.

“And he was very helpful,” I echoed, nodding firmly.

Crowley muttered a few things to himself, then asked us, “Would you be so kind as to demonstrate your ghost-eradication methods for me?”

“No.”

“I will play the part of the ghosts,” Crowley continued, pulling out a vial of… something from his pocket. He drank it and promptly turned into a ghost.

I turned to Grim, my brows furrowed in confusion. “Does he just have that on him at all times?”

Grim groaned. “I don’t wanna do this again.”

I leaned close to his ear. “This could be your chance to enroll.”

He brightened at that. “All right, but this is the last time. But I’m expecting tuna.”

By the end, about fifty paintings had been burned to a crisp and I’d knocked off Ghost Crowley’s tophat.

“Well, I’ll be,” he said, picking it up off the floor and transforming back in a puff of purple smoke and feathers.

Grim raised an eyebrow. “Well?”

“Incredible,” Crowley muttered, turning to me. “I’ve never seen anyone bend a monster to their will quite the way you have. I must confess, my educator’s intuition did sense something about you after that brouhaha at the orientation, Reign. I could tell you had a certain animal trainer-y, beast master-ish quality to you, oh yes.”

“So, uh…” I glanced at Crowley, wringing my hands nervously. “Grim would really like to go to this school. For some reason. So, uh, can he do that? Considering he did just help me eradicate those ghosts that basically made this dorm uninhabitable.”

Crowley scoffed. “A monster, stay here?”

“Yeah, problem?” 

He looked perplexed. “Well… I suppose I cannot deny your plea. Very well!”

Grim almost choked. “Really?”

“Let me be clear. Under no circumstances would I admit anyone to Night Raven College who has not been selected by the Dark Mirror, especially not a monster.”

Grim’s ears flattened.

“Nor do I intend to allow you, Reign, to freeload until you’re able to return home.”

I clenched my teeth. What is he getting at?

“Now,” he continued, “allow me to explain. It was the Dark Mirror that transported you here. Therefore this school does bear some responsibility for your well-being. So I will allow you to remain in this dorm, free of charge.”

“And the catch?” I asked.

“You will need to pay for your own food, clothing, and incidentals.”

“And how do you expect me to do that?” I snapped. “I don’t even know what the currency here is called.”

“Yeah,” Grim added, “that’s kinda messed up, bird man.”

“Ah, as to how you will do so, penniless as you are…” Crowley chuckled darkly. “Yes, a fine plan.”

“What’re you gonna make me do, sell my organs? They don’t grow back, you know. And I doubt they taste very good, but I mean, I saw that lion guy during orientation and he looked kinda hungry. And if I need money, then I think I can do without a kidney or two.”

Excuse me?” He looked horrified. “Where in the Great Seven did that come from?” It took a few seconds for him to regain his composure. “No, Sevens no! Why would you even begin to think that?”

“It was a joke?”

“A very concerning one!” He cleared his throat. “No, no, I’m simply going to ask you to do a few odd jobs around campus.”

“Such as?”

“From what you’ve done here, I can tell you know your way around a broom. So what do you say to working with Grim as a janitorial team?”

“As long as I’m not selling my limbs.”

“There will be no selling of limbs,” Crowley said quickly. “If you agree to that, I will make a special exception and allow you to remain on campus. I’ll also allow you use of the library so that you may study and research ways to return home. How boundlessly charitable I am! Ah, but only when your work is over, of course,”

I wanted to scream at him, But it’s your fault I’m here in the first place! Just tell that stupid mirror to bring me back the way I came! But instead I turned to Grim and asked, “You in?”

“What kinda deal is that?” Grim pouted. “I wanna put on one of those sweet uniforms and be a student, not sweep up people’s junk!”

“Sorry, Grim, I don’t think they make uniforms for mole rats,” I said. 

Crowley tilted his head. “If you’re not satisfied with my offer, Grim, I can arrange to have you thrown out again.”

The flames on his ears jumped. He grumbled, “All right, fine. Let’s do it.”

“Wonderful!” Crowley clapped his hands together. “Then I beseech you both to work hard as the newest members of Night Raven College’s janitorial staff!” With a click of his heels, he turned around and ran out the door before we could change our minds.

Grim and I stared at the door for a few minutes after he left, then Grim turned to me. “Well, I dunno about you, but I’m tired! It’s all the magic I’ve been doing lately, I tell ya. Why don’t you find me a room and fix it up real nice?”

“Do it yourself,” I retorted, making my way down the hall. Grim let out a cry of protest, but I ignored him, finding a room that was the farthest away from him and locking the door. There was a single dusty bed, cobwebs hanging from the ceiling, and wallpaper peeling off the wall. I groaned and, grabbing the broom, began working.