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Morty sat in the spaceship, his expression more sour than a lemon.
“L-listen, Morty, I know you’re mad, but—”
“Oh, you think?”
“Shut up, Morty. I-I was trying to be nice. Now you ruined it.”
“I ruined it!?”
“Let’s not—burp—fight about it now.”
Morty’s entire body was covered in dirt, sludge, and other substances he rather not name. His clothes weren’t even in their original colors anymore, it just looked like.. a shitty Jackson Pollock painting. Like, if Jackson Pollock painted while drunk and colorblind.
This had to be one of the worst adventures Rick had ever taken him on.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
Summer, (the season), was starting to get way too hot. First, dad complained. So nobody cared. Next, Summer complained. Morty made a joke about that and was then thrown out into the yard. Then mom complained, then Morty, and eventually… even Rick couldn’t stand it anymore.
Rick was currently sprawled out over the couch, his iconic lab coat that he never takes off was now discarded on the floor (mom quietly took that to the laundry). His sleeves were rolled up to his shoulders and he even had his pants off and traded them for some shorts. If Morty didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought a homeless man robbed their home.
“Morty! D-didn’t you form some fuckass truce with those sun knights or whatever!? Why the hell are they burning us!?”
Morty himself wasn’t wearing his usual attire. Gone was his classic yellow shirt and jeans and in was a yellow tank top and shorts. He even had a frozen bottle of water pressed against his forehead.
“I-I don’t know, Rick. It’s summer. The sun is bound to be hot.”
Rick shook his head aggressively. “No! I won’t stand for this shit!” He cried, sitting up on the sofa with a determined look on his face.
“These fans aren’t enough, Morty. Ice doesn’t even help, it just makes you sweatier.” He got up and walked towards Morty. “I have an idea, Morty. A real, genius one. One that’ll solve all of our problems.”
“Aw, jeez…” Morty sighed as Rick grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into the garage.
“Listen, Morty. There’s a dimension out there that’s whole thing is being covered in garbage. Seriously! The most disgusting shit you can think of and they’re covered in it. But let me tell you, their air? The best I’ve ever breathed. I’d fuck that air, that’s how good it is.”
“So, you’d fuck a planet and you’d fuck air—?”
“I’m talking here, Morty! Shut up!” Rick silenced him. He cleared his throat after. “I-if we can get our hands on that air, we could have not only the best air, but air so cool we could have our entire house feeling like a fucking fridge.”
“O-oh, wow, Rick!”
“Yeah, you like that Morty? You want our house to be a fridge?”
“Y-yeah! Totally!”
“Alright, Morty! Let’s steal some air!!!”
—
Fucking asshole… Morty shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He held onto a pretty big container of air in his hands. He didn’t tell me I’d have to trudge through the place just to get that air! I-I thought we could just, suck it out of their atmosphere or something!
He glared at Rick. And worse! He forced me to do it! Completely refused to do it himself!
“Fuck you.” Morty spat out.
“Morty, don’t even start with me right now. I’m still hot as fuck and you know how I get when I’m hot.”
“Oh, shut up! I-I’d take being hot over having to walk through piles of shit!”
“I just made your life a million times better, Morty! Y’know those shitty fans online? Th-the ones that’re small but annoying and remind me of you? A fan powered by that air can turn fire into ice, Morty!”
“If it’s sooo important, wh-why don’t you hold onto the container, huh?!”
“‘Cause I don’t wanna touch shit!”
“And you think I do!?”
“How about I throw you back into that dimension, huh? I’ll take that fucking air from your filthy hands and throw you in there!”
“Fuck you!”
“Fuck you!”
*
The second they got home, Morty demanded Rick to pressure wash him before he took a shower. He didn’t want to walk around leaving a trail of shit, after all.
So, Rick pressure washed him. Violently, might he add, but he did.
Morty still smelled like ass but at least he wasn’t covered in.. everything. He threw away his clothes then made his way into the bathroom.
He showered for a solid hour, making sure to get all the grime and smell off of him. Once finished, he stared into the mirror and rubbed his face.
He smiled. “Like the top of a bald man’s head.”
After drying off, he wrapped the towel around his waist and went upstairs to his room. The air felt much cooler than before and he didn’t know if that was because he showered or because Rick was already installing their new fresh, cold air. Morty hoped it was the latter.
He opened his closet to grab his usual shirt and jeans combo only to pause.
Slowly, he opened the other door and stared at his clothes for a little longer.
“One, two, three, four, five… Five. Not seven.”
He assumed the other two were in the laundry but that seemed wrong. He’s been wearing tank tops the entire week, it’s impossible for his shirts to go missing. At most, he remembered wearing one of the shirts. Not two.
Hmmm… He rubbed his chin suspiciously.
Slowly, he picked his clothes and put them on.
—
Morty was in the living room playing an FPS (first-person-shooter) game on the interdimensional console Space Beth gifted him for Christmas. He was able to play with aliens! It was so cool!
“There’s a guy behind that wall.” A voice warned him.
“Huh—?” Before Morty could even register whose voice that was, a player suddenly jumped out from behind the wall and started shooting at him.
“Woah, woah, woah! Hey! Take it easy!” Morty yelled into his headphones, shooting right back at them.
“Told ya.”
Morty huffed. Aside from the very obvious voice, there was only one person he knew that would mess with him like this.
“Morning, Em.” He greeted, looking over his shoulder to see Em, otherwise known as Evil Morty standing behind the couch holding a glass of milk.
He sighed. “What do you want?”
“Wow. I tried helping you and you’re giving me attitude? Whatever happened to kindness?”
Morty rolled his eyes. “Y-you only ever bug me when you need something.”
“That’s how you view me? Harsh.”
“Yeah, m-maybe read your name again. Gives you a hint.”
“What, ‘Morty’?” Em chuckled. “Is being a Morty bad? What does that say about you?”
Morty’s jaw tightened. “I meant the additional ‘Evil’ next to it.”
“That’s not really my name though. It’s a label, sure, but not a name.” Em swirled the milk in his glass.
“Oh, don’t smartass me.”
“Then don’t piss me off.” Em huffed as he walked around the sofa and sat beside Morty.
No further words were exchanged. It was just Morty sometimes talking into his mic and Em watching him play, with some comments here and there that were not necessary in the slightest.
“Oh, be careful. You’ll blow up.”
“Could’ve gotten the warning before I blew up!”
“You’re out of bullets.”
“T-tell me that before I go fighting the enemy!”
“You have one heart left.”
“I-I know! That’s why I’m running away!”
“There’s a medkit to your right. Be careful though, there’s a landmine in front of—”
BOOM.
“…”
“Okay, that wasn’t my fault this time.”
*
After that round, Morty quit. The game was already stressful but being beside Em made things worse. It was like the guy was always trying to mock him, to seem superior to him. It frustrated him more than he’d like to admit.
He sighed, putting the controller away and turning off the console. “Jeez.. I-I guess I gotta practice more.”
“You should. It was embarrassing to watch.”
“If it was embarrassing, th-then why didn’t you, I don’t know, leave???”
Em shrugged. “Summer’s out with her friends and Beth and Jerry’s having their rare date.”
“So???”
“So I need entertainment.”
“The fuck does that even—” Morty stopped.
Two revelations came to Morty at that moment. One, was that Em basically just said he’s a clown for his own amusement, and the second one…
“Is that my shirt?”
Em blinked. “What?”
“Is that my shirt?” Morty repeated, putting emphasis on “my”.
Em scoffed, leaning back in his seat. “Of course it isn’t, why would I be wearing your shirt?”
Morty began to eye him suspiciously. “Y’know, just recently, I-I found out I have a missing shirt…”
“And you think I took it?”
“Who the hell else would take my shirt???”
“But why would I even take your shirt in the first place?”
“I don’t know! S-some experiment or something!”
“Experiment. Really.” Em raised his brows incredulously.
Em gestured with his hand. “How can you even tell? I wear the same stupid yellow shirt as you.”
“Nuh-uh!” Morty shook his head. “Your shirt’s like.. a shade or two darker than mine.”
“Why in the fuck do you remember something like that?”
“I like yellow!”
“I like yello—! Okay, you know what? This is stupid. Go back to playing your dumb game, I’m going back to the shack. I am not losing brain cells over this.”
With a curious look, Morty let him walk away.
A couple things bothered him about Em’s argument.
First of all, why was he being so defensive? If that really wasn’t his shirt, then he would’ve been way more nonchalant about it. Second, why did he leave so fast? He was having a blast messing with Morty so why would he just leave? And third—
Well… there wasn’t really a third, but still! He was being weird!
Although, all of those could be easily explained by him just getting annoyed…
Morty frowned. No, something about that was definitely weird.
For now, though? Morty just turned on some interdimensional cable and left him be..
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
Guess what?
Morty was able to enjoy a full day of school! Without any Rick interruptions or Sci-Fi interruptions or family interruptions or intergalactic federations trying to invade the planet—nothing!
He got to actually sit in class and talk to his classmates! Sure, he still didn’t understand a thing but it felt nice to just.. see and hear such simple stuff. No murder or anything, just simple, middle school math.
The best part? He got to go home peacefully. Again, no interruptions.
Mom and dad were both at work (dad having a job was still.. confusing) and Rick was off doing something.
Everything’s going so well that I can’t help but ask if this a simulation…
Before he went to his room, he visited Summer first, who was lounging in the living room.
“H-hey, Summer.”
“Sup.” Summer barely acknowledged him, too busy typing away on her phone.
Morty looks around the house. “Uhhh… th-this isn’t a simulation, r-right?”
“Why? Did you and grandpa piss off another guy from space? Oh! Or did you piss grandpa Rick off?”
“Wh—no!” Morty paused. “I-I hope not at least…”
Get back on track! He quickly shook his head and continued. “It’s just, everything’s been going so well today th-that I can’t help but think it’s all fake.”
Summer’s expression soured. “What? Are you here to rub it all over my face? Because my day isn’t going well so you can bet your ass it’s real.”
Morty fist pumped the air. “Yes!”
Summer just groaned and went back to texting. “If you want dinner, mom and dad said they’re bringing home food so you gotta wait.”
“Okay!” Morty agreed easily enough, basically bouncing to the stairs. Knowing today isn’t a simulation and is actually real has got to be one of the best things that’s happened to me since- since Rick, maybe! I don’t know! I’m just happy! Hurray!
Morty was so ready to put his lazy ass to bed. Hey, maybe have a little laptop time too while he was at it.
What? Today’s his first break in forever, he’s gotta have fun somehow, right?
He placed one foot on the stairs.
“Em?” Morty gaped.
“Oh, you’re back.” Em, who was just about to leave, was standing at the top of the staircase with a mildly startled expression
Morty stepped back. “Wh-what are you doing?” He asked.
Now, Morty isn’t shocked by Em’s appearance. He might’ve briefly forgotten he existed but seeing him wasn’t a big shock. What concerned him was seeing Em upstairs.
Em’s a lone wolf type of character—which is both cool and terribly sad from Morty’s perspective—but basically, the second he got here, he was already planning to get the hell out of this house.
So, Em lived in a shack in their yard. The first time Morty saw it, he thought a homeless person started living in their house but no, it was just Em. I guess he and Rick have that in common.
Em almost never comes into the house. The only times he does are when he needs to eat or use the bathroom. Or when most of the family is out.
That’s why Morty was so shocked to see Em here. Seeing Em upstairs is odd because he has no reason to go upstairs at all.
Em scratched at the paint on the railing. “Just walking.”
Morty narrowed his eyes. Does he think I'm stupid? “Is that seriously your best excuse?”
“What? You don’t walk?”
“Who the fuck does? I-I’d spend the whole day in bed i-if I could.” Morty crossed his arms. “What are you actually doing upstairs?”
Em pursed his lips. “Walking.”
“You don’t even like walking to the bathroom!”
“Maybe it's because it's in an entirely different spot?”
“Make your own bathroom!”
“Why would I spend time making my own goddamn bathroom when there’s already an existing one ten feet away from me!?”
Morty groaned. “Just tell me why you’re upstairs!”
Em clenched his jaw. “Wanna know the truth? Fine. I’m upstairs because I’m snooping around for abandoned Rick gadgets.”
Morty's mouth fell.
“Yeah, see? Not a great reason.”
Morty shook his head. “N-no, no—not that. It’s just.. wow. I-I pity you, man. Maybe calling you Raccoon Morty is better. Y’know? Like how they look for stuff in the trash?”
Em didn’t even bother responding. He just walked down the stairs and gave one very intense glare as he passed Morty.
Morty couldn’t help but smirk. Heh, got him.
With a stretch of his arms, Morty went to his room. Finally, he can rest. That moment with Em there was a little setback to his otherwise perfect day but it’s fine. It’s Em. He’s like a stray cat, hissing every time you walk past it.
Oh, a shower would be so good right about now.
Morty opened his closet, ready to take a nice, long, refreshing bath and—
“Three shirts are missing now!?”
—
Morty had his eyes on it.
The family was sitting at the dinner table, eating dinner. Rick brought in some food and as usual, it was delicious. (The family made a sacred rule to never question Rick’s food ever again.)
But that’s not what he was looking at.
“Em, come on, help yourself!” Beth nudged a plate of food in his direction. “It’s really good.”
Em politely shook his head. “No thanks. I’m really just here as a courtesy.”
Jerry smiled amusingly. “Okay, edgelord. We already have one of those in our house, we don’t have room for one more.”
“And I’m assuming the edgelord is.. Summer?” Rick narrowed his eyes.
Jerry opened his mouth to speak then stopped. He rubbed his chin. “Huh, wait.. that works too…”
“Morty!” Summer called.
“Yeah?” Both Morty’s looked up.
Em immediately withdrew, pretending like nothing happened.
Summer looked at him with a pitiful expression before turning to Morty. “Pass me the salt.”
Morty absentmindedly handed her the salt, his eyes still focused on it.
Rick raised a brow, opening his mouth almost like he wanted to ask what's got Morty so uptight but he instead shrugged and continued eating.
*
Dinner was over and Morty was stuffed. He ate the shit out of that beef. Like seriously, he knows he shouldn’t ask, but.. where did Rick get it? It was the best beef he ever tasted! It just melts in your mouth and the flavor, oh god the flavor!
It could be someone’s insides again…
Morty deflated instantly. And maybe felt the urge to vomit rising.
Em got up from his seat and made it one step before—
“Ah, ah, ah. Em, you can’t just leave the table, remember?”
Em’s expression almost made Morty burst out laughing. Holy shit, like a pouting baby.
Slowly, Em turned to face the family and spoke through gritted teeth. “...Thank you for the food. Rick.” The name barely left his mouth.
He looked to the other family members. “And, uhm. Good night.”
“Goodnight, Em!”
“Goodnight.”
“Night.”
That was fun to watch. It reminded him of when Beth forced Rick to do that too. Sure, it lasted like a week and was quickly forgotten about but it was nice while it lasted!
Morty excused himself from the table, saying his own “goodnight” before running off to catch up to Em.
Em stopped just short from the sliding door to the backyard. “What?”
Morty gave him an innocent smile. “Nothing! Just.. stay still.”
Before Em could say anything, Morty slowly began to approach him.
Em instantly brought his hand up. “What the fuck?”
Morty held his hands up in surrender. “Jeez, man! I said ‘nothing’! Y-you really think I can do anything to you? You have Akira beams for hands!”
“I don’t know, Morty’s can be unpredictable.”
“Funny, you seem pretty predictable to me.”
Em hardened his gaze. “What do you want?”
“I just wanna check something. I’m not even gonna touch you! I just wanna see.”
Em eyed Morty suspiciously but he eventually lowered his hand. “...What do you want me to do?
Morty smiled kindly. “Just- do a three-sixty spin. O-or you can stay still and I’ll move.”
Em stared at him for a long time.
“Is this a porn thing?”
“Jesus Chri—no! Oh my god! What’s wrong with you?! I just want you to spin around!”
“That sounds creepy.”
“You only think it’s creepy because you think it’s creepy. A hungry man thinks of fucking bread. Now, turn around, bitch.”
With one last groan, Em spun around, albeit a little too fast.
Morty needed to squint because Em was moving a little too quickly but it didn’t matter.
He saw it.
Em stopped, his expression somehow even worse than earlier. He looked like he was seconds away from killing Morty. “Happy?”
Morty grinned. “Y-yeah, very. Thank you. I—”
“If you even so much as breathe in my direction for the next three days, I will put you in a fucking washing machine.” And Em slammed the door.
Morty wasn’t bothered by the threat. All he felt was a strong sense of pride.
He saw it after all.
One time, Morty accidentally laid on top of a Cheeto and it stained his shirt. Mom washed it, of course, but there was some that didn’t come out.
“Mom, it’s still there.”
Beth took a sip of wine. “Nobody’s gonna see it, honey. It’s orange on yellow, nobody’s gonna notice that.
Morty’s pretty sure she just didn’t want to waste any energy in scrubbing it out. Anyways, it was barely visible but Morty obsessed (and panicked) over it for a week because he was scared everyone could see it and would bully him for it. So, he knew exactly what it looked like and where it was.
It was at the back, on the left side, and just beside the armpit.
Exactly where a small patch of orange was on Em’s shirt.
Morty smirked. Caught red-handed, Raccoon Morty.
Time to catch that lying piece of shit in the act.
—
The plan was to go to bed and pretend to sleep. Then, once Em was done stealing his clothes, he’ll check the recording and have actual proof!
Is it a ridiculously simple plan? Yes. Will it still be effective? Yes!
…Hopefully. Maybe. Who knows? Just let Morty handle this! He got a camera set up and everything!
I can do this!
It was midnight. Morty spent three hours playing games to keep himself awake, but it was getting way too late and he was expected to be asleep at this time so he reluctantly put his laptop away and curled up under the blanket.
Okay, no sleeping. None. Gotta stay awake. I’m this close to catching the Clothes Thief, I can’t just end it now!
I gotta think of things that’ll keep me awake. What should I think about? Jessica—nope. Not right now. Uh, that one family where their Morty died and I—nooooooooope. I do not want to go down that road right now. What about when Summer beat my shit for making hate comments on her wannabe influencer account? Or that time mom and dad had to sit me down because they were very concerned that I could barely answer middle school questions but was able to figure out other dimensional shit flawlessly?
Morty frowned. Goddamn, why are all my memories so bad? Is this seriously my life?
Creak.
Morty almost shot up. Holy shit, he’s here!
Morty had his eyes shut, obviously, so he couldn’t see if it was really Em, but it probably was. The only people who entered his room this late were Rick and occasionally some angry beings from other galaxies. And since he wasn't being dragged out of bed or being attacked, it had to be Em!
He heard the closet open. He could barely keep himself still. It’s him, I know it is!
And soon, he’ll have video proof. He just needs to wait until Em is done with his business—
“Aha! I caught you, Clothes Thief!” Morty shot up with a yell. He couldn’t help it! He needed to see Em in action!
Em blinked. In his hands was, you guessed it, Morty’s iconic yellow t-shirt. Morty’s smile grew so wide you could see his gums. I. Fucking. Knew it!
Em stared at Morty.
“Stakeout?”
“Yup! I-I got you on camera and everything!”
Em raised a brow. Hah! He didn’t expect that, did he?
Em tapped on his eyepatch then sighed. “Ignoring the fact that I can just destroy that thing in a blink of an eye, what were you hoping to accomplish here?”
Morty hesitated. “H-huh?”
Em gestured to the shirt. “Wow, you caught me. Are you happy with yourself?”
Morty dug his fingers into the blanket. “Hold on, wh-why are you acting superior? I caught you.”
“You caught me stealing your clothes.” Em reiterated. “Is that really something you should be happy about? Knowing someone’s wearing your clothes?”
“Wh- but- b-but you’re the one deciding to wear my clothes!?” Morty sputtered. “What kind of fucking gaslighting is this? I-I just wanted to find out who’s taking my clothes and why.”
Em started to fold the shirt. “Living with a Morty has its advantages, one of them being you can share clothes because we all wear the same damn shirt and are all usually the same size.”
Morty stared. “So.. you just- you take my clothes because you have no clothes.”
Em reached for another shirt. “Pretty much.”
Morty rubbed the top of his hand. “Uhhh… y-y’know you can just- ask mom or dad to buy you clothes?”
“Why bother? I won’t be staying long anyways. Might as well borrow some instead.”
Morty sat up a little straighter. “So? You’re still here. Might as well get some now.”
Em pursed his lips.
Jeez, this guy… Morty wore an amused expression. “It’s fine, Em. If you need clothes, just ask. L-like what mom says; as long as you ask for it, it’s fine.”
Em stood awkwardly, one hand holding the folded shirt and the other still reaching for another.
Em furrowed his brows. “...You’re annoying, you know that?”
“Hear it everyday.” Morty smirked.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
“Alright, well- go ahead.” Beth spoke, gesturing to the rest of the store. “Knock yourself out.”
After that night (and a lot of convincing), Morty managed to get Em to ask for his own clothes. Of course, mom agreed pretty easily. In fact, she actually looked a little proud that Em asked for something for once.
Despite Em’s nonchalant expression, Morty could see Em rubbing his hand. He felt a sort of kinship. We have similar nervous habits, huh?
They wandered around, mostly just following Em. They were here for him, after all. Not that Morty minds. He likes going out when he doesn’t have to enter a dimension that could burn his face off.
They stopped at a section with blank shirts, all in different colors of the rainbow.
Beth looked at Em judgementally. “Don’t tell me we’re buying more yellow shirts…”
Em’s ears turned a little red. “You’re here to pay, not judge.”
Beth crossed her arms with a small sigh. “How will I know which shirts are for who? They’ll both be yellow.”
Em pointed at Morty. “Go ask him. His eyes are clearer than glass. Apparently, mine are a shade darker or whatever.”
Beth raised a brow. “You can see that?”
“I like yellow and I like my shirts.” Morty was unbothered. If his brand was wearing yellow shirts, then he’d damn well show it.
“Okay, okay, whatever. Just- at least pick a different yellow.”
Em rolled his eyes and without a second passing, he picked out one yellow shirt.
Morty placed his hands on his hips. “Darker shade.”
Beth looked almost impressed at this point. “How do you even see that?”
“You’re getting old, mom.”
“Hey, I’m only thirty-four.”
Morty shrugged. “Teenage pregnancy’s a bitch.”
Beth huffed. “Okay, only Summer can pull that card. Not you.”
Em quietly placed the shirt in the basket.
Beth paused. “Just one?”
“Yeah?”
Both Morty and Beth just stared at him.
With an unspoken agreement, Morty grabbed several more of the same shirt and Beth handed him the basket.
“Wh- I don’t need that many.” Em immediately tried to stop them.
“Well, y-you definitely need enough to last a week. Don’t want you stealing my clothes again.” Morty continued to grab some shirts and shoving them into the basket. Hell, throw a black one in too, why not?
Em’s face soured but he let them be.
*
They walked around a little more, grabbing a couple more necessities like some jeans, socks, and underwear. Morty almost gagged finding out Em was also stealing those.
“You’ve been what!?”
“Don’t think about it.”
“Well, n-now I’m thinking about it!”
Em even grabbed some.. black arm warmers?
“I’m not judging your taste! It’s just—wow. You really have a.. specific look, along with that eyepatch.”
Besides that, going shopping with mom and Em was.. weirdly fun. He hasn’t done this sort of thing in a while: going out to a normal store to get normal things with his family. Well, it’s only mom but still family. And Em is family too, I guess.
He hummed. I wouldn’t mind doing this more often…
After around an hour or so, the basket was basically full.
“Okay, that’s enough. Let’s go back.” Em stopped the two from spending more time wandering around in the store.
Beth raised a brow at the basket. “You don’t want anything else?”
Em fidgeted with the handle of the basket. “Yeah. I don’t need anything else.”
“Y-you should really apply for some sort of TV show. You’d fit right in with your whole…” Morty gestured to him. “‘Fuck everyone, I only care about myself’ act.”
Em stared daggers at him. Morty didn’t flinch.
Beth placed a hand on Morty’s head and gently nudged him away.
“Hey—!”
“You can get something else, Em.”
Em looked at her with hooded eyes. Tiredly, he placed a hand on his chest. “Truly, I’m thankful that you’re doing this but I’m done. I don’t want anything.”
Beth frowned but nodded nonetheless. “Alright, let’s go to the check-out.”
*
Mom was busy paying for the clothes, so Morty had some time to explore.
He knew he should probably try out some other clothes but why should he? He likes his clothes. High school will probably be when he starts to care about fashion—I mean, just look at Summer—but it was still fun to look at all the different kinds of clothes.
Some actually caught his eye. A white shirt with a cool graphic of a dinosaur on it, then beside it was a black shirt with a dragon. He stuck his tongue out.
He spotted some fun looking socks too. A couple science-y ones, and there was one with plants on it which he kinda really wanted. He quietly grabbed it, hoping he could sneak it into the basket later.
He spotted some more interesting shirts, staring at them for a while before continuing to walk.
Nah.
He liked his yellow shirts.
As he looked around, he spotted Em in the distance staring at something.
He quickly ran over. “Hey, Em! What’re you looking at?”
Em jolted. Huh, why did he have a bigger reaction than when I caught him stealing my clothes?
Em quickly composed himself. Morty stared at him unimpressed. “What? Is Beth done?”
“No, I-I’m just exploring. What’re you looking at?”
“Nothing.”
“That was fast.” Morty blinked. Now that he’s here, Em seems to be blocking something behind him…
He shrugged. “Alright, uh- I’ll go back to mom. We’ll just get you when we’re done.”
“Cool.” Em dismissively answered.
Morty started to walk away only to do one of those cool basketball sidesteps and slipped behind Em.
“Wh- hey!”
“So this is what you were looking at!” Morty grabbed the clothing by the hanger and lifted it up.
It was a jacket, nothing crazy. It was made of cotton—pretty good cotton, actually. It was soft but not too hot—and was colored a charcoal black with individual dark purple stripes on the arms. Flipping the jacket around revealed—
Woah.
“This is cool.” Morty marveled at the sight. On the back was a sketchy graphic of shooting stars in that same purple color. It’s hard to find good graphic tees so this was a total steal.
He held it up in front of Em and yup, it looks good. Wow, it actually fits him pretty well. He has good taste.
Em reached out to grab the jacket. Morty swiftly moved it away. “Stop! I wasn’t looking at anything!” Em poorly defended.
Morty admired the jacket a little longer, mostly just to tease Em. “Hey! Y-you should totally get this! It’s so cool! I’m jealous!”
“No! I just thought it looked ugly, that’s why I was looking at it!” Em tried snatching it again.
“Your excuses are getting worse.” Morty spun around him. “Anyway, I’m giving this to mom.”
Em froze. “What? No! I said I’m done already!” He cried, running after Morty.
“Mommm!” Morty called out, holding up the jacket. “Em wants one more thing!”
Interrupted by the sound of a familiar cry, Beth turned around, worry rising in her chest.
She was then greeted by her son and her son’s alternate self running and screaming in the shop like mad men.
Beth turned back to the cashier, handing her card. “They’re not mine.”
The cashier swiped the card. “That’s what I tell myself too.”
Finally, Morty reached the cash register, slamming his hand down on the counter like some game of football. “Mom, here! Em wants thi—”
“I don’t!” Em basically jumped onto Morty to forcefully pull the jacket off of Morty’s hands.
“Boys, stop it. Stop it right now—stop!” Beth yelled, hands on her hips and a stern expression on her face. Both Mortys immediately scrambled to stand beside each other, staying deathly still.
Beth rubbed the bridge of her nose. “God.. one Morty was enough but two? Jesus Christ.”
“I just wanted to get the jacket…” Morty grumbled.
“I said I didn’t want it.” Em retorted sharply.
Beth stayed silent for a moment. She lifted her head. “Okay, what’s the deal with the jacket?”
Em opened his mouth to explain and Morty raised his hand.
“Yes, Morty?”
Em’s mouth hung open. “Seriously?”
Morty grinned. He took a deep breath and started. “O-okay, so- I was just walking around wh-when I saw Em staring at this jacket! Like, really intently! Like he really wanted it! B-but he kept lying so, I-I took initiative and went to you so that you could buy it.”
Then, Em said his piece. “Lying, huh? First of all, I told you, I was staring at it ‘cause it looked awful. Second, you’re just assuming I lied but I said I don’t want it.”
The cashier gently butted in. “I know it’s not my problem, but you clearly wanted it, kid. I saw you two from all the way here. You were totally staring at it because you wanted it.”
Morty snapped his fingers. “Aha! Busted!”
Em averted his gaze from the two, arms crossed. Morty swears he saw his ears grow a brighter shade of red.
“Whatever.” Em muttered.
Morty let out a “hmph”, crossing his own arms and looking at Em judgementally. He’s really determined to keep the act up, huh?
Beth paused, gently grabbing the jacket and holding it up. “Em, do you want this?”
“He obviously—”
“Be quiet, Morty. I’m talking to Em.” Beth interrupted.
Morty’s eyes widened. His voice was quiet. “S-sorry.”
“Em, do you actually want it?”
Em was quiet for a moment, not answering.
Morty stared at him. Jeez… what’s taking so long?
It was just a jacket. If he wanted it, then just say it. Why was this such a big deal?
Morty tapped his foot on the ground. Just say yes, dammit…
Eventually, Em answered. “...I don’t mind it.”
“But do you want it?”
Em groaned. “Sure, whatever! Get it or don’t, I don’t care.”
Beth softly smiled at him. “Okay. Then we’ll get it.” She replied, giving the jacket to the cashier.
Morty watched the exchange silently.
What.. what’s with that?
They left the shop with several (slightly darker) yellow shirts, a black shirt, some jeans, black arm warmers, socks, underwear, and one black jacket.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
“Woooah, Em! I-it really does suit you!” Morty marveled, clapping his hands. The second they got home, Morty urged Em to try the jacket on. So he did.
Em twirled around, checking himself out in the mirror in Summer’s room. Why her room? Because it was the closest room that had a full-body mirror.
Em looked behind him, staring at the graphic on the back. “It’s.. okay.”
Morty groaned. “Can’t you just admit you like it? Goddamn.”
“Wow, you look like the poster boy for Hot Topic.” Summer said, laughing from the door. “Is that where you got it? Hot Topic?”
“Just be glad he got something, Summer.” Beth sighed beside her.
“I think it looks great! It’s good for Em to explore different clothing options.” Jerry, out of nowhere, appeared behind the two. Summer screamed.
“Ugh. Be quiet—all of you. I’ll never do it again.”
Morty looked over at Em, who was growing more and more embarrassed but he also had the tiniest smile on his lips.
Morty huffed. What a liar.
At some point, Em glanced over at Morty with a blank expression. Morty looked back and smiled, giving him a little thumbs up.
Em rolled his eyes. “You’re the worst.”
Morty laughed it off. “I’m not the one with ‘Evil’ in my name.”
“It’s a label. I’m Morty Smith, just like you.”
“Whatever, man. You’re Evil Morty Smith.”
Em nudged him with his elbow.
Morty nudged him back.
“You’re welcome.”