Work Text:
Prior to reading, it is imperative to listen to Cat's playlist, for maximum emotion.
While Jisoo and Wonwoo had always known the other by association, they had never had a chance to interact until the September of the fall semester. Jisoo was majoring in music and Wonwoo in philosophy, but they both needed a history class to finish out their general education. They studied at Jisoo’s dinner table in his and Jeonghan’s shared apartment, memorizing the amendments and departments while tossing grapes into each other’s mouths.
Their first kiss was in the middle of a discussion about multi-party systems; Wonwoo was surprised and flustered and blushing, but Jisoo smiled slowly and warmly, then continued the discussion as if nothing had changed (but it definitely had, if the hand now holding Wonwoo’s was any indication). Jeonghan came home and for once let them be, although he did send knowing smirks at them from his spot on the couch.
It wasn’t completely romantic but not quite platonic, which was probably Jisoo’s plan all along, Wonwoo thought in retrospect. It was an intimacy that came from being with someone for so long in a day, for so many days. Cuddling on the bed and taking naps were more common than makeouts, because Jeonghan would come to the apartment without warning and with enough food from the Salvadoran place for the three of them. Sometimes Wonwoo didn’t know whether he was dating both Jisoo and Jeonghan, but then again, Jeonghan wasn’t the one he was falling asleep besides.
Being with Jisoo was peaceful and happy, and it was the first time Wonwoo had felt like he was floating, his head in the clouds and the feel of Jisoo’s lips on his was the only thing tethering him back to the ground. Being with Jisoo taught Wonwoo things about love and relationships, that love is not always fire and neither water, love could be the air that surrounds you and reminds you that you’re alive. Relationships were not permanent, they changed with every word and every action, and needed the willingness of all involved.
They passed the history class with matching A-’s, and at the end of the semester Jisoo kissed Wonwoo on the train platform.
“Was that our last kiss?” Wonwoo asked, feeling naive and a little clueless.
“Yes,” Jisoo said, with a tone of finality and endings, which contradicted the one, two, three kisses that followed. Jisoo stepped back first, and grabbed the handle of his suitcase.
“Can I still come over for pupusa nights?” Wonwoo took a step back as well, and a breeze passed between them. Love could be the air surrounding you, and the breeze that leaves you too.
Jisoo laughed. “I’ll text you next time it happens!” The whistle blew another time, and Jisoo hopped on the train. Wonwoo waved goodbye until the train had disappeared around the bend.
Wonwoo didn’t feel sad—bereft, like he had given Jisoo a piece of his heart with him and now he missed it, sure—because deep down, he knew that they weren’t going to last. But damn, did he wish he knew that before he told his whole family that he was bringing his boyfriend to the New Year’s Party.
—
At first thought, it seemed easy: Soonyoung pretends to be in love with Wonwoo for a few hours, and then they would go home and watch The Office in their boxer shorts together. It seemed easy because as best friends they were already binge watching Netflix shows at home, and it’s soothing to burst into laughter with your best friend. But as the end of the semester got farther away, and 2017 edged closer, the idea of pretending to be in love with Wonwoo became the need to hide the fact that he was really, truly, definitely in love with Wonwoo, and the binge watching wasn’t going to be any consolation because the act wouldn’t really end until Soonyoung was in his room alone, contemplating all the ways Jeon Wonwoo made his heart beat faster until he fell asleep.
Soonyoung explained all of this to Junhui over a cup of tea at the cafe on Fourth Street.
“So what do you want to do about this?” Junhui asked, stirring his warm cocoa absentmindedly. His focus was on his best friend, who—exhausted by the sudden release of his bottled up emotions—had his laid atop his arms on the table and was staring at his cooling paper cup of tea with a strange sort of longing. “Do you want to tell Wonwoo?” Soonyoung scoffed and Junhui continued. “Or do you want to suppress these feelings until the day you die?”
“I just want to watch Jim and Pam be cute and flirty pre-season two finale, without wishing that I was Pam instead of Jim.” He frowned. “Wait, you don’t get it—you like Parks & Rec, don’t you—what I mean is that I don’t want to spend my life waiting and wishing for Wonwoo to realize that he’s been in love with me this whole time.” Junhui refrained from saying that hey, fuck you, Soonyoung you mockumentary elitist, Parks & Rec has better love stories than The Office could ever have, and instead chose to nod empathically. “Not that he is, for that matter. He and Jisoo literally ended things today—I doubt he’s interested in any romance right now.”
“They were together?”
“Definitely. He was at Jisoo and Jeonghan’s apartment more than he was at his own; It took me the weeks for our schedules to match up so that I could get my 3DS from his place.” Soonyoung fiddled with the used packets of sugar on the table.
Junhui took a sip of his cocoa, and hummed. “If you don't want to wait, just tell him. The worst that could happen is that he says no and you continue to remain best friends—you have experience in this department.” Soonyoung looked up and gave Junhui a lopsided grin.
“It’s funny that of all the people to give me advice about being in love your best friend, it’s you.” His phone chirped besides his tea, and upon checking it he groaned. “I have work in half an hour,” He stood up and grabbed his crossbody bag and his tea. “Thanks for the talk, Junhui, it helped!”
“It’s only helpful if you use it!” Junhui called as Soonyoung walked out of the coffee shop.
—
On December 31st, 2016, Soonyoung called from Wonwoo’s bedroom, looking with the mirror at the deep blue bowtie knotted strangely at his neck. “Wonwoo, be a dear and help me with my bowtie!” The cat was on the bed but she slept through his shouting, though her ears twitched occasionally.
Wonwoo walked into the room with his wine red bowtie in a similar form of disarray. “What would you ever do without me?” He clicked his tongue as he nimbly undid Soonyoung’s knot.
Soonyoung laughed as he fastened Wonwoo’s ribbon into a neat butterfly. “I would use the mirror, I guess.”
“But isn’t that why you needed my help in the first place? Because you couldn’t tie your bowtie with the mirror?” Wonwoo choked a little as Soonyoung pulled the butterfly tighter. “I–I mean, no, I see your point. I’m useless and you only keep me around to feed the cats.”
He laughed and took a step back towards the mirror to look at the slim batwing Wonwoo had tied, and Wonwoo used the opportunity to relieve the taut bow. “You make a good lasagna, and you’re trading me the Alolan Sandshrew; I’d say that’s pretty useful.” He turned his head and grinned at Wonwoo, his nose crinkling and eyes twinkling.
As Wonwoo opened his mouth to respond, his phone buzzed. He took his phone out of his pocket while Soonyoung searched wildly about the room for his, only just then noticing its absence. “My sister just texted the family groupchat, she's asking ‘where are the lovebirds at’,” he said, squinting at the phone screen, “or is it ‘losers’? ”
Soonyoung found the phone beneath the sleeping cat, who simply rolled over when he tried to get her out of the way. “I guess I’ll call for the Uber. What was the hotel again? Also, why is your family’s New Year’s party held at a hotel?”
Wonwoo sighed wistfully. “The Four Seasons, and it’s because we’re all stuffy assholes—you’ve met them, don’t defend them—and we’d rather help clean up a big fancy room than our own houses.” He looked at Soonyoung, now lounging on the bed besides the cat. “Any more pressing questions regarding me and my family?”
Soonyoung had plenty of pressing questions: Why didn’t you just tell your family that you and your boyfriend broke things off? Why me? Why? But none of them were related to Wonwoo and his family specifically, so he let them go. ”No. Are you gonna put on your glasses, or try to find your contacts? Because you have 6 minutes before the Uber arrives, so make your decision.”
7 minutes later, the two of them rushed out of the apartment building, Wonwoo wearing his favorite pair of gold rimmed glasses.
—
The party was in full swing when they arrived, most of the relatives already retiring to their seats, while the younger kids chased each other around the tables. The two of them managed to find an small empty table near the windows, and watched Wonwoo’s family become more rambunctious as the night went on. The main table centerpieces were bright bowls of oranges, grapefruit, and pomegranate that contrasted with the cool greens of the tablecloth. The draping curtains around the room were a shade of lemongrass, as were the napkins, the chair covers, and Wonwoo’s mother’s coat. In fact, everyone had a shade of green somewhere in their attire; the waiters with their green ties, and Wonwoo’s baby niece waddling around the room in a white dress with a lime green sash. The red and blue bowties around their necks felt suffocating and completely out of place, suddenly.
“Is the theme Emerald City? Leprechauns?” Wonwoo was frankly surprised that the only person to break the dress code was himself and Soonyoung.
“There’s a mall nearby. Should we run and grab some green bowties? Will someone pinch us if we don’t?” Soonyoung whispered.
“Didn’t I text the both of you, telling you to wear green bowties?” The both of them turned and found Seulgi standing infront of them in an simple emerald green dress, naturally, and holding up two green ribbons.
All at once Wonwoo remembered the text, and the others like it, telling him that Greenery, the Pantone color for 2017, was the theme of the night. “Must’ve slipped my mind,” he muttered, and Seulgi rolled her eyes. She looked at Soonyoung, who was struggling to undo the blue bowtie.
“And what’s your excuse?”
“Uh. I was... preoccupied... with other plans...?” He was caught under the stares of both Wonwoo and Seulgi, and he finally understood what people meant by an icy look. Was he shivering?
“Other plans?” She cocked her head. “Like what—oh! Like pretending to be Wonwoo’s boyfriend?” She laughed brightly as she watched the color simultaneously drain from Wonwoo's face and bloom on Soonyoung's.
Wonwoo winced. “Who else knows about that?” He had managed to remove his bowtie, but was struggling to create the bow. Soonyoung fidgeted as he looked at Wonwoo struggle, but didn't move his hands from where it covered his cheeks.
“Just me. Do you ignore our text messages, Wonwoo? Is talking to me really that mind numbing?” She pulled out her phone and scrolled for a moment, then turned it to show the both of them the screen. It was a glimpse of her and Wonwoo’s past conversation, and a picture of Jisoo and Wonwoo making weird faces at the camera.
Are you bringing someone
to the new years party?
[13:14] Seulgi
Yea
[13:15] Wonwoo
Wonwoo has sent a photo
[13:15] Wonwoo
Oh
[13:16] Seulgi
Ok :^)
[13:17] Seulgi
“Why did you use the insincere smiley face?” Wonwoo asked. It had bothered him back then, but Jisoo had distracted him from it by kissing his cheek, and he had forgotten about it.
“That’s not insincere, I use it all the time!” Seulgi furrowed her brow, looked at the emoticon in dismay. “I was using it because I thought it’d be Soonyoung; although this boy was cute too, what happen—”
“What do you mean you thought it’d be me?!” Soonyoung’s eyes were wide, and his hands returned to the steadfast blue bowtie. The conversation was making his palms sweat, which really wasn’t helping the bowtie nor the blushing cheek situation. But maybe it did help with the bowtie, because the knot came loose and he was able to pull it off his neck. He picked up the second green ribbon and fitted it beneath his collar.
“Soonyoung, you come to all of our family parties. Half of our aunts think the two of you have been dating this whole time.” She frowned a little. “Now they’ll all be excited for nothing.”
“Why are they excited?” Soonyoung said, even more bewildered.
“And why for nothing?” Wonwoo said, indignant.
His sister shot him a look. “Because everyone thought you’d be bringing someone new, not the same scrawny kid you’ve brought for the past three years. Bets were placed; I’m pretty sure Mom bet that you’d bring Soonyoung.” Someone called her name from within the crowd, and she stood up. “Get Soonyoung's green bowtie on, and then go see how many people owe Mom money.” She said to Wonwoo, before she disappeared into the throng.
The two of them sat quietly for a moment. “I can’t believe your mom bet on me,” Soonyoung said, his hands now on the table in defeat. The ribbon was tied like a shoelace at his neck, a last ditch effort.
Gently, Wonwoo took the ribbon ends and set about creating the batwing tie once again. “I think it’s good for us!” Soonyoung looked at him with a critical stare, and he hastily explained himself. “Not the betting part, my family sucks. What I mean is that my relatives already have a preconceived notion of our relationship so we can just hold hands and say hi together, then let their minds fill in the blanks for us.” The bowtie had become the neat batwing, and he patted the lapels of Soonyoung’s blazer.
Soonyoung sighed. “I hate when you're right sometimes, because you get this smug grin on your face and it looks stupid." Wonwoo hadn't even realized he was grinning in such a way, but the joy of teasing him made Wonwoo smile even wider. Soonyoungs shook his head, but smiled back. "Let’s go see how many of your relatives owe your mom money.”
And true to the easy flowing river that Kwon Soonyoung liked to consider himself to be, he took to his role in stride. He was laughing and greeting Wonwoo’s aunts with smile, and he let Wonwoo lead him around the ballroom towards other relatives. At one point the younger kids thought they were playing a game, and Wonwoo was suddenly the conductor of thirteen-car long train, with Soonyoung making completely necessary whistle sounds every time another kid latched on.
They had even separated for some of the other relatives, many of the cousins and nieces already comfortable with Soonyoung from the past parties. One of Wonwoo’s older cousins clapped Soonyoung on his shoulder and told him to “treat my little cousin nicely, he’s the family baby” (Wonwoo pouted and whined over his glass of fruit punch when Soonyoung told him afterwards). And most of the aunts were sweet and kind, but some of them would pinch Soonyoung’s cheek as he ended the conversation, so he hated them. Just a little.
By the time the clock struck eleven, Wonwoo’s mother had earnt nearly five hundred dollars, which Wonwoo argued should be split between him and Soonyoung as settlement to injury.
—
In any river there was a fast moving current, and even small rocks and twigs could make a difference when there was enough. They’d build up and block streams, or change the water’s course entirely. Soonyoung was hyperaware of every move that Wonwoo made: every time he smiled and meant it, every time he tensed when someone said something uncomfortable, every time he’d school his features and walk away as calmly as he could. The times Wonwoo was proud, standing tall and shoulders broad, and when he was shy, eyes downcast and voice quiet. Soonyoung remembered it all, had a special net to catch them all before they got too far, and he kept it at the shore for safe keeping.
They eventually found themselves on the veranda terrace, staring out at the Yerba Buena gardens below. Despite the garden being closed, Soonyoung could still see the lights of hand held sparklers moving in the darkness, rebels of light and laughter. It wasn’t long until midnight.
“Have I told you thank you yet?” Wonwoo said quietly, breaking the silence that had settled over the terrace. No one else was there, which was why the two of them were.
“Thank you for what?”
Wonwoo shrugged. “For doing this. For being my best friend. Being you. Being with me.”
Soonyoung smiled a little. “You say this all the time, Wonwoo, I know.”
“I feel like I don’t say it enough, or that you don’t hear it enough from other people either. Or you do, but you ignore it completely.” Wonwoo countered. Soonyoung hummed in response, neither a yes or a no, and looked up at the stars. Where Wonwoo expressed his emotions as healthily as he could, Soonyoung was the opposite, tending to bottle up his emotions and release it in some other form. It was how they balanced each other out.
“Why did you pick me?” Soonyoung asked towards the night sky. “You could’ve picked someone else—could’ve had anyone else to be your boyfriend for tonight, so why me?” Maybe it was the light drinks he had throughout the night or the feeling of fleeting moments that the end of the year brought, but Soonyoung needed an answer to his pressing question.
Wonwoo didn’t respond immediately, or even for a few moments after. “I don’t know. It was easy. My family loves you already, so it didn’t feel like I was really lying to them.” He scuffed his shoes against the cement. “It’s always easy to be with you,” he said quietly.
It was like a giant boulder had just been dropped in the current, the river banks were overflowing and the water was doing in damnedest to move around it. But the boulder was just getting bigger, because Soonyoung could suddenly hear cheering from within the ballroom, could feel Wonwoo’s arms wrapping around him for a hug, and see the burst of fireworks from all around the city and the bay before him.
“Happy New Year, Soonyoung.” Wonwoo said. His voice still quiet, but even if Soonyoung wasn’t looking he could still see the easy curve of Wonwoo's lips as he smiled wide.
They were a pair, him and Wonwoo. They knew each other (even if they hid things), and their best source of comfort was sitting beside each other on Wonwoo’s couch, watching mockumentaries and laughing. Years could pass and Jisoo would fade away to the background, and Soonyoung would still be the one standing besides Wonwoo, no matter what.
The boulder broke up into smaller pieces and he caught it with the net, and deftly put it to the side with all the other moments. The water flowed back into place, and Soonyoung smiled back at Wonwoo. “Happy New Year, Wonwoo.” He’d stand beside Wonwoo, no matter what.