Chapter Text
Her half sister hates her for getting the Prince she didn't, but by the time Myrcella is officially betrothed to Aegon, even if it is only to be his second wife, she doesn't care, because she has finally beaten her sister at something.
Cersei had hung over her like a shadow her whole life, a particularly foul one, and she is tired of ghosts and wants only to see the sun.
Maybe now people will compare Cersei to Myrcella instead of Myrcella being compared to Cersei.
There was no love between her mother and father- not like there had been between Tywin and Joanna, Cersei had taken joy in reminding Myrcella.
It was mostly just petty insults and teasing and the reminding of that fact, even though Cersei was married to Jon Arryn (the poor man) and mother to a son, Robert, who they all called Robin and who was two years older than her; her older sister is also mother to a boy three years younger than Myrcella named Joffrey, who Cersei positively dotes upon in a way she doesn't with Robin. When visiting Casterly Rock (too often for Myrcella's taste) Cersei would often enter a room, see her little sister and exclaim the smell of fish was too strong for her to stand before leaving. She was told she wasn't Lannister enough, according to her beloved older sister- she has blue-green orbs, a combination of Lannister green and Tully blue that she thinks looks like the sea on a warm day, and a coppery orange glow occasionally reflects off her head in the sun; not like Cersei, who was all unfairly gold and emerald.
Mother dies when she and Tommen are five; her cause of death is curious, a spectacle the older servants still talk of when they're sure Tywin won't hear. (The younger ones have the fear of God- there are no Gods at Casterly Rock but Tywin Lannister- put into them by the man, should they even think to question the official events about that night.)
Lysa Tully Lannister's body is found in a courtyard of The Rock, a curious distance from the balcony outside her bedroom. Not far enough for her to definitely have jumped with suicidal purpose, throughout the years Myrcella hears of suspicious marks found on Mother's body, marks on her hands like she'd been fighting and bruises shaped like fingers on her slim neck.
Myrcella is sure someone killed her mother. Whether it was Cersei- who hated Lysa Tully Lannister enough to have done it- or Father, because he hadn't loved Mother like he'd loved Joanna and could not stand her anymore, she does not know. She never asks too much, either, for she is afraid of the answer.
All Myrcella knows is that, the night before Mother's body is found, Mother rouses her and Tom out of bed, orders Nurse Currel to carry her sleepy brother as Mother carries her even though they're far old enough to walk themselves, and hides the three of them in a copse behind a tapestry, facing a window.
"If I don't come back tonight, take them to Cat, to Winterfell if you can, and Riverrun if you cannot." Mother tells their Nurse, voice shakier and skin paler than normal, eyes rimmed in red, "You're not to come up until the sun reaches you here. You have the jewels, the letter? Do you understand me?" The last sentence is harsher than Mother has ever spoken and Myrcella is scared.
Nurse nods. "Of course, my lady. Worry not, the Gods will see justice done tonight."
Mother's mouth is a flat line. "Haven't you heard the servants, Currel? There is only one God in Casterly Rock, and his name is Tywin Lannister."
Mother had descended on her and Tommen then, hugging them until they couldn't breath. "I love you, my babies, I love you I love you I wanted you so much and I'm sorry you don't have more brothers or sisters to love you. Promise you'll take care of each other always, won't you? Do you remember the Tully Family words? Family. Duty. Honor. Remember, family before everything. You're as much a trout as a lion, there's as much blue in your veins as gold. You two must be each other's strengths." Mother is openly weeping now.
Tommen reaches forward, pudgy hand yet unused to the weight of a sword on her cheek. "Mama, why do you cry?"
Myrcella felt Mother try to smile (and fail) as she kissed their foreheads. "I cry because I must be brave, my loves, and sometimes that is hard. But I must do it, because I am a Tully, and sometimes, to do one's duty or honor, it is tough. But we do it for family anyway."
And then Mother was gone, replaced by the back of the red and gold tapestry. Nurse Currel takes them both in her large, soft arms and though she struggles to stay awake, a hymn to The Mother puts her to sleep.
"...Gentle Mother, font of Mercy..."
(She never knows if she dreams just the single, piercing scream.)