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Despite her resolve Andri kept looking back, her dark hair pushed away from her face so she could gaze back until she lost sight of the last great mast amongst the trees. She was really going, they were leaving without her. Duncan chastised her a few times, when she fell back too far to see them. He always did it kindly, though he didn't get kindness in return. They were leaving, and too soon they were gone.
Duncan didn't deserve the ire he gained from her, and the dalish girl knew it. As they walked he was considerate, kept himself only three paces before her, slowed and sped up to her pace. She noticed it, but it didn't soften her to him. All she could think of was the masts as the aravels left her behind. He saved her, they said, brought her to the camp on his back so she could be healed and 'survive'. . .if what came after could truly ever be called surviving. It didn't feel like surviving, it felt like a living death.
With each step she took she could feel it, the darkspawn poison, pooling through her veins. With each heart beat it was like a fire, pushing deeper. Is this what Tamlen felt? Tamlen.
Before the mirror, before that cave and those damn shems her life had been so perfect. She would become a hunter, she would live her life with her dalish brothers and sisters, and follow Marathari until such a time where Merill would take her place as keeper. Tamlen. . .friendly childish rivalry was so quickly becoming something more, something wonderful. He had teared up at the ceremony when the markings that forever made her one of the dalish were placed into her skin. It hurt, but she had refused to make a single sound, staying deathly still. Tamlen had held her so tight afterward, clutching her with a mixture of pride and desperation. She had never felt closer to some one in all her life. Where was he now?
“You must forget him.” Duncan's voice pulled her from her thoughts, the Warden pausing as she had once more fallen behind. “He will not be the last that you will lose.”
These words pierced her beyond understanding, like a dagger to her heart. She trotted the distance to catch up to him, and his serious face looked to her. There was a sadness there, some sort of knowing she was not privy to. The dark haired elf looked away, staring at the path ahead as once more Duncan began to lead them away from the woods. The walk to Ostagar would take several days, he had warned her.
Still her thoughts returned to Tamlen. The halla could sense their mates, and distance did not weaken the connection. Even if a force split them a halla would know when their mate passed. Their soulful call sharing their mourning. She wondered if it could be the same for her, somewhere in her she could not believe Tamlen was dead. Something in her told her he was alive, the man she had planned to be her companion, her mate, had to still be alive. Even if Duncan gave up, she wouldn't. She couldn't.
“If you keep dawdling child I cannot guarantee we can get you to Ostagar before that sickness takes you completely.” His voice was teasing, despite the gravity of the sentiment. Andri scowled at him.
“Fine, fine!” Another trot to cross the space, for now she would concentrate on what was to come. What Marathari had told her would be her duty. Perhaps after, she would truly discover what had become of Tamlen.