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[The Ghostfacers Theme - Intro]
ED ZEDDMORE & HARRY SPANGLER
The Ghostfacers present Episode Sixty-Seven "The Mystery of Novak Manor"!
ED ZEDDMORE
Some people believe in ghosts, others… don't.
My name is Ed Zeddmore, and I've never believed in ghosts until I came face to face with one. So I set out on a quest to capture the sound of the paranormal in a podcast like never before, with no big crews following us around. Joined only by my fellow investigator Harry Spangler, the two of us will travel to some of the most highly active supernatural locations, where we will spend entire days being locked down from dusk until dawn, no cheating, no tricks.
Only us, the Ghostfacers!
[The Ghostfacers Theme – Intro - Ends]
ED ZEDDMORE
(Sound of Ed clearing his throat)
Hello and welcome back! Welcome back to a new episode of our podcast, "The Ghostfacers"! Before we get down to business, I'd like to thank you all again for the amazing reception the previous episode, "The Prophet," received. Thank you for all the emails and all the posts that have linked to us! Seriously, you guys are incredible!
HARRY SPANGLER
You said it, Ed, you guys are the best!
Also, a reminder: this introduction was recorded after the events of the episode.
ED ZEDDMORE
Dude, what an experience! You're going to be blown away! I won't say anything more than: damn, you all have to visit Novak Manor at some point in your life.
But enough preamble, let's go!
(Static sound and slight audio track change)
Today we'll delve into the heart of an old colonial-style tenement house to unravel its mysteries and unmask its ancient ghosts! Its owner, Castiel Novak, and his sole tenant, Dean Winchester, are waiting for us.
HARRY SPANGLER
The truth is, we heard a rumor that one of the oldest houses in Lawrence had fallen under the control of supernatural forces, like so many others in town, and we couldn't resist contacting the owner.
ED ZEDDMORE
Let it be known that this time we asked permission first, yep, and that we'll even be staying in the house for as long as it takes to unmask these supernatural forces that are harassing our soon-to-be hosts.
Hey, do you think we should give the house a name, like... Novak Manor or something?
HARRY SPANGLER
It's okay, Ed, just focus.
ED ZEDDMORE
Right!
This isn't our first time visiting Lawrence, as you may recall from some of our very early episodes, "Yellow Eyes" and "Mother", so we're more than a little seasoned, and I promise not to scream too much this time.
HARRY SPANGLER
He promised, I heard it first, but you all witnessed it too.
ED ZEDDMORE
(Sounds of Ed scoffing)
So! As I was saying, we find ourselves in front of this beautiful, enormous, ancient and completely dilapidated colonial-style house, which, according to our research, was formerly a boarding house until the business declined in the fifties and it was bought by the late novelist, Charles Novak. You may recognize him, maybe? from all the adaptations that have been made of his most famous book "The Darkness", though I will always prefer the "The Angel Archives" show.
HARRY SPANGLER
I've always been more of a fan of "The Well of Light," which in the most die-hard fan circles would be considered heresy, but...
(Ed's snorts)
What.
ED ZEDDMORE
Nothing, I respect your tastes.
HARRY SPANGLER
Oh, excuse me, Mr. "I have the most basic preference in the world and I'm proud of it."
ED ZEDDMORE
It's not basic, it's common sense, Harry, don't get angry.
Where were we?
(Harry's unintelligible grumbling)
HARRY SPANGLER
Well… Charles Novak used the house as his main residence until the mid-eighties, when he moved to Los Angeles to oversee the scripts for the successful series based on his books, "The Angel Archives". Yes, that one, Ed, don't smile like that.
The house was then occupied by Amara Novak, Charles Novak's eldest daughter, who also used it as a private residence until her death a little over a year and a half ago.
ED ZEDDMORE
And after her comes the third generation, Castiel Novak, Amara's nephew, and with him the poignant story of a man accustomed to solitude but who, by necessity or fate, was forced to share a house with a stranger at the age of fifty.
HARRY SPANGLER
A change that was probably the catalyst for what Castiel describes as "something strange is happening in my house."
(Sounds of gravel crunching)
ED ZEDDMORE
We're approaching the house; it's very beautiful even in such a sorry state, looks like the one in "Charmed," doesn't it?
HARRY SPANGLER
Yep! With those windows, and the red brick, yep. It's falling apart, but in a classic, ethereal, even, way… with all that ivy covering and climbing the walls to almost the attic level. And look at the stained glass windows up there!
ED ZEDDMORE
Wait, still.
(Sound of microphone moving and rubbing fabric)
HARRY SPANGLER
What's up, what have you seen?
ED ZEDDMORE
It was...
Nothing. I thought I saw movement in the curtains on the second floor, but it could be the inhabitants of the house. Even so I can sense something in the atmosphere.
You all already know that sometimes paranormal activity extends beyond the invisible boundaries of properties, like in Harrisville.
HARRY SPANGLER
Don't worry, we have done our homework and verified that the old properties from the 19th century have not been torn into tiny cursed pieces. There have also been no cases of more supernatural activities in the close area, so...
ED ZEDDMORE
The sensation is that of moving through a pile of snow, it is not the first time we have felt it even outside a house where strange things happen. Ah, the house is surrounded by a fairly extensive plot, with gardens that are also very neglected but beautiful in its... Wildness? Someone could remake "Bly Manor" here, honestly.
By the way, it's almost noon, one of the two best times for paranormal activity, so we'd better hurry so we can explore the house during that energy peak!
(Sounds of gravel crunching)
(Doorbell rings)
(Sound of creaking wood and rusty hinges opening)
ED ZEDDMORE
Good morning, Mr. Novak, right? Ed Zeddmore and Harry Spangler, we spoke on the phone yesterday, we have come as quickly as possible to help you with your problem.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Oh.
Oh, yes, of course, you are... What was it again, the Ghostbusters?
ED ZEDDMORE
Ghostfacers, actually, but yes! That's us. We've brought, uh, enough luggage for a few days, since you said we could stay...
CASTIEL NOVAK
Of course, you're more than welcome, I hope that whatever this is...
HARRY SPANGLER
Don't worry, Mr. Novak, we are men of science. We'll find out what's going on in your house, whether it's a spiritual entity or a demon.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Is there a difference?
ED ZEDDMORE
Oh, boy, yes, we'll explain it to you later, if you'd like. We can even show you some pics; we have them on our phones.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Oh, like a PowerPoint?
(Harry's snort, then throat clearing sounds)
HARRY SPANGLER
… Does anyone still use those?
CASTIEL NOVAK
Of course they are still used, they are very useful.
(Short pause)
You didn't tell me you were going to record this.
ED ZEDDMORE
This? It's just audio, for our podcast, you know, we discussed it over the phone. It's like a radio station, but on the internet! We investigate cases of paranormal activity, record the audio of what happens, and that's the show.
CASTIEL NOVAK
I know what a podcast is, I follow one about beehive care and artisanal honey.
ED ZEDDMORE
Awesome!
Of course, we need your permission to upload the audio you're participating in to the channel. We won't upload anything without your consent or your tenant's.
CASTIEL NOVAK
No, it's fine. You have my permission, and I assume Dean's too. I don't think this will do much more harm than good.
ED ZEDDMORE
Great! So, shall we get started?
CASTIEL NOVAK
Of course.
Be careful with the salt.
ED ZEDDMORE
Oh, you've sealed all the doors and windows with salt! Very clever, that way the entity won't leave.
HARRY SPANGLER
Or it won't cross from room to room.
CASTIEL NOVAK
That was the idea. We consulted with a witch who advertised in the newspaper, and she even gave us the recipe for a very simple cleansing and banishing spell, but nothing works. Even the salt is disturbed every morning, as if someone blew on it or kicked it.
ED ZEDDMORE
Have you seen any footprints, any traces?
CASTIEL NOVAK
No, nothing…
So, um, I started asking around on Reddit. I wanted to put flyers on the lampposts, but Dean said it was ridiculous and outdated.
ED ZEDDMORE
Well, he has a point; most of the people who can help, like us, are online these days.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Come in, please.
(Sound of several footsteps on creaking wooden floor)
(Sound of a door closing)
(Sound of more footsteps on creaking wooden floor)
HARRY SPANGLER
Wow! Check out this place, it's incredible!
ED ZEDDMORE
Dude, you could film a horror movie or TV series just in this hallway.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Thank you, I'm not happy with the condition of both the exterior and interior of the house. I wanted to renovate it when I inherited it, the entire electrical system was obsolete, as was the plumbing. But as you can imagine, the cost was, and still is, exorbitant.
ED ZEDDMORE
Is that why you put the room rental ad up a year ago, right?
CASTIEL NOVAK
Yes. Although only one person responded at the time. We made an arrangement and–
Oh, Dean, there you are.
DEAN WINCHESTER
Hey.
So these are the Ghostbusters?
ED ZEDDMORE
Eeeeh, yeah, no. Ed Zeddmore and Harry Spangler from the Ghostfacers podcast. We're here to unravel the mystery of the supernatural activity in the house.
(Dean's scoff)
DEAN WINCHESTER
Right.
So what, you stay for free, put on a Conjuring-style charade, and then post something on Instagram that only eight anti-vaxxers will see?
CASTIEL NOVAK
Dean.
DEAN WINCHESTER
What? Are two kids with microphones clipped to spoons really going to solve... whatever this is?
CASTIEL NOVAK
Who knows?
And they're not going to stay for free.
ED ZEDDMORE
Oh, no! Of course not, we can send you a Bizum right now, no problem, whatever you want!
DEAN WINCHESTER
What, seriously?
HARRY SPANGLER
Yep! Anything for this opportunity!
DEAN WINCHESTER
Jesus, you kids are nuts, but whatever.
ED ZEDDMORE
Listen, we understand this isn't a pleasant situation, and I promise you that whatever is going on, there will be no tricks or gimmicks. If there's nothing noteworthy, we'll leave and that will be the episode: us, you, and whatever you want to tell us, nothing more.
DEAN WINCHESTER
So what exactly is your plan?
HARRY SPANGLER
We'll stay as long as it takes, recording everything. Mr. Novak will show us the house, and you'll tell us whatever you want to tell us, it's all standard protocol.
(Ed's heavy gasp)
Ed? Ed, you okay?
ED ZEDDMORE
Yeah, it's just… Sorry, There's a really dense, heavy energy in here.
DEAN WINCHESTER
What, are you a medium or something?
ED ZEDDMORE
No, no, I wouldn't go that far. I've dabbled in it, but...
HARRY SPANGLER
He just senses things, every now and then.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Oh, like in "The Sixth Sense"?
ED ZEDDMORE
Oh, ooooh, dude, no, not that either. I don't see dead people. I just sense things a little more strongly than usual. The air feels denser, heavier, you get good or bad vibes, that kind of shit.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Ah, I see.
How interesting.
(Long pause)
(Sound of Ed clearing his throat)
ED ZEDDMORE
So…
CASTIEL
I'll show you both to your room, then I'll give you a little tour of the house if that's what you need.
ED ZEDDMORE
That would be fantastic, Mr. Novak, thank you very much!
CASTIEL
It's nothing.
Dean?
DEAN WINCHESTER
Yeah, no, I'd rather do something actually useful, like getting my hands dirty fixing the second-floor sink.
HARRY SPANGLER
Actually, uh, Mr. Winchester?
DEAN WINCHESTER
What.
HARRY SPANGLER
We'd like to ask you both a few questions later to get a linear account of the events you remember, if that's alright with you.
DEAN WINCHESTER
An interview.
HARRY SPANGLER
That's right.
DEAN WINCHESTER
And what's the point of interviewing us if the goal is to get rid of that thing?
ED ZEDDMORE
Knowing the facts and supernatural events that affect the house and its inhabitants can help, and in fact helps a lot, to discern what is bothering you, and therefore it will be easier to know how to get rid of it.
But if you don't want to participate, that's your right. It's just how it's done in all shows of this type.
DEAN WINCHESTER
Oh, no, I want to participate, I fucking want to participate in this circus. Anyway, the fucking ghost or whatever it is that's messing with us is going to keep messing with us whether I like it or not, so...
CASTIEL
Dean...
DEAN WINCHESTER
What.
CASTIEL
They just want to help.
(Dean's snort)
DEAN WINCHESTER
Yeah, right, I'll be around.
(Sound of footsteps receding and wood creaking)
(Castiel’s sighs)
CASTIEL NOVAK
Please excuse him, we haven't slept well for weeks, doors open and close even when there's no wind, lights turn on and off by themselves, and... well, you know.
HARRY SPANGLER
We imagine that must be very stressful.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Not being able to sleep or eat normally? It is, yes.
Shall we?
ED ZEDDMORE
Yes! Please, show us the way!
(Sound of creaking wooden floor and steps)
CASTIEL NOVAK
As you can see, the floors are also in pretty bad shape. Like everything else, I'd like to replace them, but everything is absurdly expensive these days.
Oh, watch out for the fifth step; it's a bit sunken.
HARRY SPANGLER
Did you live in this house before you inherited it, Mr. Novak? When you were a kid?
CASTIEL NOVAK
I used to come here for the summers. My parents traveled a lot for work, and when school was over at boarding school, my Aunt Amara, may she rest in peace, always offered to look after me.
ED ZEDDMORE
We're sorry for your loss, Mr. Novak. You must have meant a lot to your aunt if she left everything to you.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Thank you. She used to tell me I was the only one of her nephews she didn't want to drown in the bathtub, so...
Yes, it's possible she was fond of me.
ED ZEDDMORE
It's a... nice thought.
So you have a large family, Mr. Novak?
CASTIEL NOVAK
Oh, absolutely, lots of uncles and aunts, lots of cousins... Grandfather Charles was, in my cousin Gabriel's words, "a real rascal."
(Sounds of chuckles)
HARRY SPANGLER
Did you experience any paranormal events back then, when you spent all those summers with your aunt? Or did your aunt ever mention anything to you?
CASTIEL NOVAK
Not that I recall, and if she experienced anything, she never said a thing. And she talked a lot especially in her later years, saying that I could write her memoirs, or something like that.
ED ZEDDMORE
Did you ever do it, write for her?
CASTIEL NOVAK
Oh, yes, although we couldn't finish, sadly.
(Short pause)
Well, this is the second floor. As you can see, it has two main hallways, each with four bedrooms and an en-suite bathroom connected to every bedroom. Two of the rooms in each wing have balconies, the rest have normal windows.
HARRY SPANGLER
Is this floor a hotspot for paranormal activity, or is it the same on all the floors?
CASTIEL NOVAK
It's... Let's just say the activity fluctuates.
ED ZEDDMORE
So it doesn't follow a clear pattern, nor does it have a fixed location.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Oh, no, I think there is a pattern.
ED ZEDDMORE
Oh? How so?
CASTIEL NOVAK
I'll explain later, don’t worry.
As I was saying, we managed to get part of the west wing ready, so I've prepared a room for the two of you. It has twin beds, clean sheets and towels, and its own bathroom, so you won't have to cross the hall in the middle of the night.
(Short pause)
Although I suppose you are interested in exploring the house at night.
ED ZEDDMORE
It doesn't have to be all night, and we don't have to keep watch. The good thing about a house this big and its echoing is that whatever happens, the mics will pick something up.
HARRY SPANGLER
Besides, supernatural presences tend to hate change, so whatever it is, it'll be drawn to us, and our room will probably become a hotspot, as we say in the business.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Do you have a lot of experience with the supernatural?
ED ZEDDMORE
Quite a bit, actually.
HARRY SPANGLER
We're pretty sure a demonic entity tried to lure us with a rag doll once when we explored a haunted apartment in New Jersey.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Good heavens, is it on your podcast?
ED ZEDDMORE
Yep! Episode 15, "Clarabelle," if you ever want to check.
HARRY SPANGLER
I'm still having nightmares.
CASTIEL NOVAK
It must have been awful…
(Sound of creaking wood and squeaking rusty hinges)
This is the room. I picked out the curtains myself, the previous ones were completely moth-eaten. As I said, the beds come with several sets of sheets, comforters, and blankets. There's a built-in wardrobe with a sliding door there; the bathroom is behind that door...
Oh, the window overlooks the backyard. I plan to fix up the garden when I have some more time.
ED ZEDDMORE
It's impressive, Mr. Novak. Look at the carpet, the wardrobe, the vanity! It is... it looks really antique, it's so pretty.
CASTIEL NOVAK
All the bedrooms have vanities; most of them were already here when my grandfather bought the house. Probably to give the ladies the option of staying in the room they preferred when the building was a boarding house.
HARRY SPANGLER
Dude, it's awesome.
ED ZEDDMORE
Yeah, I could record a whole episode just in this room–I call dibs on the bed on the right!
(Sound of something heavy falling onto something soft)
(Sound of creaking springs)
HARRY SPANGLER
Hey, that's not fair!
(Castiel's soft laugh)
CASTIEL NOVAK
Make yourselves comfortable and come down whenever you want. I can show you the house and then we can have lunch, if that sounds good to you. You kids these days still like normal burgers, right? Dean always says that everyone's replacing everything with turkey bacon and soy meat.
ED ZEDDMORE
Sure, Mr. Novak! I'd eat anything, even an elephant if you had one!
And really, thanks for letting us stay and record everything for our podcast. I assure you we'll find out what's going on.
(Castiel's chuckle)
CASTIEL NOVAK
Of course…
We'll be downstairs.
(Sound of steps and a door closing with a hollow creak)
HARRY SPANGLER
Dude, this is like a dream. Look at the fucking decor, or lack thereof? Now I regret not starting a video channel. People would be blown away by this vibe.
ED ZEDDMORE
You bet.
(Sound of running water and loud gurgling pipes)
Okay, we've got hot water, it's not brown, the closet seems harmless, for now, there's a generous space under the bed, all classic.
And then there's this ominous feeling...
HARRY SPANGLER
What's it like?
ED ZEDDMORE
I don't know, man, it's more of a… like I feel... angry all the time, frustrated? I don't know, it's creepy, but I'm not, it's not me. Whatever's around here isn't exactly happy.
HARRY SPANGLER
A ghost?
ED ZEDDMORE
Let's hope that's it and not something worse.
HARRY SPANGLER
If it's a ghost, it could be the aunt, right? Amara.
ED ZEDDMORE
That's most likely, if she died in here, but I don't know why she'd be so... strangely angry. If she loved Mr. Novak so much, shouldn't she be, I don't know, happy?
HARRY SPANGLER
It could be the renovations. It doesn't have to be rational, does it? Spirits are often lost and confused and cling to whatever little familiarity they have left.
ED ZEDDMORE
Sure... Change of furniture, installations, everything.
(Sound of clicking tongue)
Come on, the sooner we ask, the sooner we'll know.
(Sound of steps and creaking wood)
(Sound of door opening and closing with a hollow creak)
(Sound of more steps and creaking wood)
HARRY SPANGLER
Ed, what's up?
ED ZEDDMORE
Nothing, I just wanted to look over the stairs to the attic.
HARRY SPANGLER
Did you feel anything else?
ED ZEDDMORE
Nah, it's just the cold, maybe? It's everywhere, but faded.
Let's go.
(Sound of more steps and creaking wood)
DEAN WINCHESTER
... I'm just saying, this was a bad idea.
ED ZEDDMORE (whispering)
Wait.
HARRY SPANGLER (whispering)
What.
(Castiel's grunt)
CASTIEL NOVAK
What else did you expect me to do? They would have shown up here anyway.
DEAN WINCHESTER
Well, you should have told them no from the start, obviously, and not opened the door.
CASTIEL NOVAK
They just want to help.
DEAN WINCHESTER
No, they want to record their shit, put it online, and then disappear. Helping would be if that kid was actually a medium or something and knew what he was doing, but he isn’t, and you're just going to let them run around.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Dean…
DEAN WINCHESTER
And if something happens to them, do you know who's going to be to blame? Us, for letting them do this. We should have called in a professional.
CASTIEL NOVAK
We already did. A professional came and said there was nothing here, and you know very well what happened that same night after he left.
(Dean's grunt)
DEAN WINCHESTER
They're still just kids. We should send them home before anything happens to them.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Nothing's going to happen to them.
DEAN WINCHESTER
You don't know that.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Of course I know.
That thing wants us.
Wants me…
DEAN WINCHESTER
Cas…
HARRY SPANGLER (whispering)
What do we do?
ED ZEDDMORE (whispering)
Dude, this is juicy.
HARRY SPANGLER (whispering)
But it's a private conversation, they could sue us later if they hear the podcast.
(Ed's hiss)
ED ZEDDMORE (whispering)
Okay, make some noise, will cut this later.
(Sound of heavy, strident footsteps coming down the stairs)
Soooo! How about we do that tour, Mr. Novak?! Can we ask you the questions at the same time if you want.
(Short pause)
CASTIEL NOVAK
Of course, let's go back to the front door.
You coming, Dean?
(Dean's heavy sigh)
DEAN WINCHESTER
Sure. I've got your back.
(Sound of more steps and creaking wood)
CASTIEL NOVAK
Okay, so this is the front hall. As you can see, it's a corridor that connects the main entrance with another foyer and the parlor. Careful, the salt. That other corridor leads to the dining room and the kitchen, and yet another to the sitting room and the library... And over there are the stairs to the second floor, as you know. Those stairs down lead to the basement.
ED ZEDDMORE
Oh, the basement! Can we go down there? Is it accessible?
CASTIEL NOVAK
It's got a ton of junk in it. I don't think even my aunt touched it much when she moved here, so maybe there's something interesting there for your podcast.
HARRY SPANGLER
It's a classic spot for paranormal activity. Have you sensed anything there?
DEAN WINCHESTER
Apart from dust and mold, the last time I was there was to check part of the main electrical panel. Everything was normal, even the junk.
ED ZEDDMORE
So the entity didn't mind you rummaging around down there.
DEAN WINCHESTER
I guess not.
ED ZEDDMORE
I see.
I'll... If you'll excuse me.
CASTIEL NOVAK
Of course.
(Sound of a door opening and wood creaking)
(Long pause)
HARRY SPANGLER
Do you feel anything?
ED ZEDDMORE
Nah, not from the basement. It smells bad, but nothing else.
(Long pause)
CASTIEL NOVAK
Shall we continue then?
HARRY SPANGLER
Can you show us the library?
CASTIEL NOVAK
Of course, this way.
(Sound of footsteps and creaking wood)
You saw the porch and the driveway outside. Like I said before, I want to fix up the garden, but I haven't had much time lately.
(Sound of a door opening and creaking wood)
ED ZEDDMORE
Wow! It's so cool!
CASTIEL NOVAK
It's not very big, but it's cozy. The bookshelves are solid; my grandfather put them in when he bought the house. I remember him always saying he preferred a library as an office rather than a separate office, which is why there's a little study nook with a desk, a sofa, and a small coffee table.
DEAN WINCHESTER
Ah, fucker, I left my coffee there.
(Sound of footsteps receding)
(Sound of sipping and swallowing)
HARRY SPANGLER
I feel like Belle when the Beast shows her the castle library.
You have a ton of books, Mr. Novak, and super expensive, old editions! And you have a whole section just for Vonnegut!
CASTIEL NOVAK
That part is all Dean's doing. He brought a bunch of books in boxes when he found out there was room on the shelves. There's also a shelf just for manga, if you're interested.
ED ZEDDMORE
Really?
DEAN WINCHESTER
You guys seem to like Junji Ito, judging by the whole paranormal stuff. You can check it out if you stay, but don't mess with the Berserk volumes. They're limited edition, dirty them and I'd have to kill you, and I'm not adding any more ghosts to this place.
HARRY SPANGLER
Oh, no, relax, I'm more into sports manga and, uh...
(Ed chuckles)
HARRY SPANGLER
What?
ED ZEDDMORE
Nothing.
HARRY SPANGLER
Come on, say it, embarrass me in front of everyone.
DEAN WINCHESTER
Hey, there's nothing wrong with liking hentai, kid.
(Distorted sound with laughter that's too loud and close)
HARRY SPANGLER
It's not—! Ed, shut up!
(Distortion sounds and cloth brushing against the microphone, more laughter)
ED ZEDDMORE
Oh, oh, fuck, my stomach hurts.
(Ed still giggling)
(Harry's grunting)
HARRY SPANGLER
It's not funny.
CASTIEL NOVAK
I agree.
Dean, don't assume people's porn preferences, it's not right.
DEAN WINCHESTER
What? Come on, it's statistics, kid's not going to tell me he likes yaoi now, right? There's nothing wrong with that, you know?
(Sound of Dean clearing his throat)
Look, let's change the topic. We have to see if you guys get lucky and a book falls without anyone touching it.
(Sound of Ed repositioning the microphone)
HARRY SPANGLER
Has that happened to you?
DEAN WINCHESTER
Uh...
CASTIEL NOVAK
Only once.
(Sound of Dean clearing his throat again)
DEAN WINCHESTER
Yeah, but what a time.
(Sound of indistinguishable snorting)
HARRY SPANGLER
... Are you referring to some intense activity? Like objects flying around or...?
Wouldn't that be a poltergeist, Ed?
ED ZEDDMORE
Yep, and that would fit with the feeling of anger.
(Long pause)
ED ZEDDMORE
So it started in the library?
DEAN WINCHESTER
Nah, no way.
(Sound of sipping)
It seems obvious now, but at first you don't think much of it, the weird noises, the creaking wood and all that. The lights flickering at the most inconvenient times, the pipes bursting every other day. The house's old and falling apart, so I thought it was normal, Cas too.
ED ZEDDMORE
Well, all that stuff you're describing could be normal anyway.
DEAN WINCHESTER
And that's why I couldn't tell when or where it all started. Every day since I moved in, it's been one thing after another, everything needs fixing…
It keeps breaking down, so I don't know what's the work of whatever's here, and what isn't.
CASTIEL NOVAK
And I was lucky you were here to fix them. I don't know what I would have done without your help.
(Dean's snort)
DEAN WINCHESTER
Dumbass, how could I not (playful emphasis) "return the favor" after you let me stay practically for free?
(Sound of something heavy falling to the floor)
ED ZEDDMORE
Jesus!
(Long pause)
(Sound of wood creaking in the distance)
(Sound of pipes gurgling)
HARRY SPANGLER
Uuuuh, for the record, nobody's moving, and a book just fell on the floor right there, in front of us.
ED ZEDDMORE
More for the record, we were chatting peacefully when suddenly a book, tucked away on its shelf, came loose and fell, like someone pulled it out, I mean, like an invisible hand, and bam, it hit the floor.
Jesus, it was so fucking cool.
(Sound of steps and wood creaking)
CASTIEL NOVAK
Ah, how curious, it's The Picture of Dorian Gray. I don't know if it means anything, the books are arranged alphabetically by author.
ED ZEDDMORE
There might be a reason, but if your entity is already turning into a poltergeist, it could just be a pure, crazy chance.
DEAN WINCHESTER
You okay, Cas?
CASTIEL NOVAK
Yes, it's just...
(Short pause)
Yes.
(Distant sound of a book tapping into place)
(Long pause)
(Distant sound of gurgling pipes)
(Sound of wood creaking)
HARRY SPANGLER
We haven't paid you, by the way. How much do you want?
DEAN WINCHESTER
How long were you planning to stay?
ED ZEDDMORE
I don't know, as long as it takes, though we don't usually record for more than two or three days per episode.
DEAN WINCHESTER
Three days.
Great.
(Ed's snort)
ED ZEDDMORE
Come on, if you'd wanted to call someone older and more serious, you would have, but you were too embarrassed, right?
I don't know why, I don't care, but–
DEAN WINCHESTER
Don't get too smart, kid.
(Sound of sipping and swallowing)
This whole thing is still a bad idea, a fucking stupid idea, but it's Cas's house so whatever he says goes.
CASTIEL NOVAK (mumbling)
It's your home too.
(Long pause)
(Sound of pipes still gurgling)
ED ZEDDMORE
So…
Tell us, when did it all really begin?
CASTIEL NOVAK
Well...
(Long pause)
(Sound of wood creaking)
HARRY SPANGLER
Yeah?
CASTIEL NOVAK
The truth is...
(Castiel's sigh)
It all started that day.