Chapter Text
For the last two years so much have been uncertain and undecided.
Would he ever be able to forgive himself for his sins?
Would he ever truly atone for them?
Would he ever feel at peace enough to return home?
This and so much more have been a whirlwind of questions running through his head, feeling as though they will forever go unanswered. Only two things have remained certain;
The first thing being that Sakura Haruno is in love with Sasuke Uchiha, and has been waiting for him for a long, long time.
The matter of Sakura’s feelings have always been obvious to Sasuke, painfully so at times. What was once a shallow crush grew into a strong persistent love. One Sasuke had many times rejected and pushed away, so full of hatred and blinded by revenge that he was unable to return that love. Even when she’d stood behind him, screaming confessions at his back that he oh so wished he could accept.
The second thing that stands clear is that Sasuke Uchiha is in love with Sakura Haruno. He has been for a while and probably always will be.
As a child, during the days of team seven, he’d felt a connection to her. It started as one of friendship, but despite Sasuke doing everything to distance himself from those feelings, they grew into something stronger. He’d recognized her care for him, saw her spill tears over him when she thought him dead. He accepted her as family by then, for in her tears he saw the ones he himself spilled over his own loved ones, back when he’d lost everything. Over time he could see his own need of acknowledgement in the one she so strongly yearned for in him. When he was able to feed that need and make her mouth curve into that pretty smile of hers, he’d felt his heart jump.
Her unyielding attention had become a drug for him. Her touch, her praise and her smiles feed his own need for acknowledgement. Sasuke felt that the burden that was his own insecurities lightened whenever he managed to encourage her. In that sense, they needed each other.
They needed each other in so many other ways too. She offered him comfort and love in his dark and twisted world where none of that previously existed. Naruto granted him the light of the summer sun, but Sakura brought him the spring and all of its beautiful colours. She'd been his anchor when he was in pain or scared. Always there to accept Sasuke with open arms and bring him into her embrace. He’d known he cared for her far too deeply, her and their family that was team seven. That’s why he’d had to leave. At the time he’d felt that those bonds only made him weaker and unable to carry out his revenge. Now he knows better, familiar bonds and connections are what makes you stronger.
So the fact that he was in love with her did not fall upon him as a great realization. Rather it was something he had always deep down known, no matter what he felt about it. When he’d thanked her and knocked her out he’d known it. Just like he’d known it when she confessed her love for the second time and he’d put her in a genjutsu. When he was leaving the village, not in search of revenge but for atonement and put his fingers to her forehead he’d known that she was more than a close friend. There was no question about it. What he would do with these feelings though, went long undecided.
He vowed not to return until he knew what he wanted in his future and if that future included her. He did not want to string her on, to have her waiting endlessly for a love that would never come. Until he felt ready to fully love her, he refused to love her at all. If he never grew ready he would silently watch her eventually give up on him, find a new love and create her own future with that special someone. No matter how painfully he’d want it to be himself. Because if it was anything Sakura deserved, it was someone fully committed and able to love her back as fiercely as she loved.
He’d felt undeserving of her love the last two years away. Pondering on what to do about it in the event that he finally returns to Konoha for good.
When he no longer felt scared to be involved, to create that intimate connection with people, with her, that’s when he decided to return.
What brought this on, who had once again reminded him of his family and reminded him that Konoha was home, was Sakura. Always Sakura.
And he felt ever thankful towards his great friend, Naruto. He’d been the one to send that letter telling him that the work he was doing out in the world had reminded Sakura of the police force, the very same police force that had once been driven by the Uchiha clan. Once upon a time it had been his dream to enforce justice alongside the rest of his kin. Being able to look at those memories of his childhood, when he’d dreamed of something that had nothing to do with revenge and also be able to smile, he’d felt his heart tug him towards Konoha once more. To a future where he could let new people in, create new intimate connections and finally accept a love that has long been waiting.
.
.
.
The face of his old teacher is the same as when he’d left years ago. The old man has truly not changed at all, white hair still unruly and half the face covered.
“Sasuke?” Kakashi blinks as he stares at his old student. In the two years since Kakashi last saw him, Sasuke has grown almost fifteen centimeters, as well as letting his hair grow out in the front and cover his rinnegan.
While a part of Kakashi’s surprise did come from how much Sasuke has changed and grown, most of it comes from the very unsuspecting and sudden return of his. Sasuke’s choice to return home had been one made abruptly, if you overlooked the two years he’d spent wondering when, and if he should do so. Having gotten used to moving about as he wishes, Sasuke has not considered to neither mention nor warn about his homecoming. He’d always had a lack of undernding of people, the skill has not exactly improved after so long spent alone. Naturally, he doesn't realize that Kakashi is just incredibly surprised to see him.
It seems the old man finally finds his words because Kakashi’s eyes soften at him and he asks, “Finally found what you were looking for, huh?”
“Aa.” Simple, though the hokage does not seem to have been expecting anything else.
“How great, so you have come to stay then?” He puts down the orange filth in his hand and leans forward in his seat, his elbow rests on the surface of the table as he props his chin on his palm.
Sasuke lingered on the question. He was in Konoha to meet his family and to finally, finally make the question of his future a little clearer. But staying forever was not a possible choice, the threat that is Kaguya still lingers and he would eventually need to return to that mission. But for now though, he feels that he can settle for a little while. “Yes.”
“Well it does not seem like you have anything to report back to me. And you must be tired after your long travels, so I won’t hold you any longer. You got a place to stay?”
“I’ll figure something out.” Sasuke turns to leave when Kakashi calls his name. He looks over his shoulder at the man’s face, waiting.
“It’s good to have you back,” he says with what Sasuke is sure must be a grin behind his mask, if the crinkle of his eyes is anything to judge by.
.
.
.
He’d planned on passing by Naruto’s apartment on his way when he remembers that the idiot is married and has surely moved somewhere else by now. The village of Konoha is far greater than it had been when he first left and he would hardly be able to find the blonde’s new residence by pure guessing.
So he continues his path towards the apartment of his other teammate. She’d shown it to him before he left the last time, during one of their frequent walks around the village. After the war she’d quickly gotten an apartment of her own and moved out of her childhood home. Hopefully she still resides in the same place.
After three short knocks on her door he takes a step back and waits, not wanting to frighten her by the sudden close proximity. It is first now that something akin to nervousness reaches him. Shockingly he feels an urge to tap his foot or twist his fingers, fidgeting like he’d done as a young boy. An absurd urge to run away and hide also fills him, both dreading and anticipating to see the pink locks and seafoam-green eyes in front of him once more.
“Coming!” She calls and Sasuke feels a wave of so many emotions rushing over him at the sound of her voice. It has been so long since he last heard it. He’d missed it terribly.
It doesn’t take long before he hears approaching steps and the unlocking of the door. Before he knows it, those blue-green eyes meet his onyx ones. Sakura stares wide-eyed at him. Her hand falls from the handle and the door starts closing, she visibly shakes herself out of her haze and slams her palm against the wood to keep it open. “You’re… you’re here… when…?”
“Just now.” He feels awkward, just standing there. Under her gaze he feels almost… shy. When has he ever felt shy? This woman in front of him makes him feel so many strange things.
Then she clasps her hands behind her back and looks up at him through cherry-pink eyelashes. Apparently the initial shock of his sudden appearance has left and only happiness at his return clings to her. She smiles at him, the same one she carried around him at the tender age of twelve.
“Welcome home, Sasuke,” she eventually says. After a brief silence and her uncertainly chewing her lip, seemingly having more to say, she opens her mouth again. “The thing is, I…” she trails off, suddenly looking very flustered and shy. So unlike the woman he’d seen on the battlefield and so much like the girl she used to be.
Both versions are her though, and Sasuke finds himself liking this one just as much as the other.
“I’m back, Sakura.”