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It was a tale as old as time. Cat chases mouse, dog chases cat, and coyote chases roadrunner. It had been engrained in Wile E. since he was a young pup, and it had been essentially his full-time focus ever since. No matter how many times he tried and failed to catch that bird, he didn’t have it in himself to give up, not while there was still any sense of hope.
The trial three months ago had changed things, but not in the way Coyote expected. Instead of his old antics of using faulty Acme products, he was feeling inspired. You can do better than them, Paige had mentioned offhandedly to him one day, and he had taken the comment to heart. After all, she was right, Coyote just had to be more creative.
His trash bin had quickly filled with rejected blueprints for inventions of his own design. Boxes filled one corner of his room, deliveries of supplies Coyote had ordered with the company credit card he had “borrowed” from Kevin (he was going to return it at their next lunch meeting, promise). Mannequins wore all numbers of disguises, some of which were incredibly outlandish and unbelievable given that Coyote and Road Runner’s chases occurred in the middle of a desert in New Mexico. Coyote didn’t mind that his schemes were increasingly elaborate and quite frankly ludicrous, because for the first time in a long time the chase felt new and exciting in ways he had never imagined. He was having fun.
~~~~
A week later, Coyote found himself in a quaint little Albuquerque diner, sitting across from Kevin and Paige, slurping on a milkshake. Their bi-weekly meetings had started as a way for the lawyers to update him on the events of the lawsuits that had come about as a result of their testimony in D.C. Of course, Coyote knew all about the lawsuits; he would return every evening to his cave to see the latest report about Avery, Jones, & Maltese and their latest victory against the dreaded corporation. He didn’t mention this, though, as he enjoyed listening to Paige excitedly regale the latest events from the courtrooms. Seeing the satisfied look on Kevin’s face also comforted Coyote. He liked knowing that his friend had some newfound joy in his work. He deserved it.
Over the last few months, he had developed a shorthand way of communicating with the Kevin and Paige– hand signals, facial cues, and the occasional use of props– so his signs were usually reserved for when his shorthand failed to convey what only words could.
“So how is Road Runner?” Paige casually asked as their conversation was winding down for the afternoon. Coyote just shrugged and gestured with his hand in a circle, as though to convey the neverending cycle that still consumed much of his days. There had been an elaborate fiasco three days prior that had involved an extremely large amount of chewing gum and three rubber chickens, but he was a little too embarrassed to relive the situation so soon. He was still finding sticky spots in his fur. “Has he left you any more of his little gifts?”
Coyote rolled his eyes and shook his head. Last month he had mentioned that Road Runner had started leaving gifts for him after their long days of chasing. Small rodents, large bugs, scorpions, and the occasional lizard. Most recently, his speedy companion had also included a beautiful stone that, when held to the light, reflected blue and green hues against the cave walls. He wouldn’t tell anyone, but he kept the stone with him at all times, tucked away into the pocket dimension alongside his supply of signs and various assorted items. While the gifts were infrequent, they were not unwelcome. Well, perhaps they were a bit suspicious at first, but thorough inspections with metal detectors and x-ray machines assuaged his reluctance to accept the offerings. Coyote was really starting to believe that Road Runner meant him no harm, that his testimony was as genuine as Kevin insisted it was. Could you blame him, though? Coyote was so used to tricks and schemes and plans backfiring, he wasn’t used to those around him being so… earnest.
“You know, during the trial, I did a lot of reading about roadru-,” Paige’s thought was cut short by Kevin’s phone ringing incessantly, distracting the trio in the booth. The man hummed and muttered monosyllabic replies to whoever was on the other line before hanging up with a snap of the flip phone.
“That was Dottie. They moved up the hearing from three to two. We should probably head out,” Kevin told his niece. He turned to his former client-turned-friend. “Sorry, pal, but we’ve got to call this meeting short. Please don’t run up the credit card bill too high this month, we’re still waiting on some of the settlement money to come in.” He snorted at Coyote’s indignant look. “You think I don’t read the statements? Who else would be buying mayonnaise in bulk and industrial strength rubber bands that are three feet wide? Just try to be resourceful for a couple weeks, and use what you’ve got. We’ll talk soon.”
Paige gave a remorseful look and mouthed sorry as she slid out of the booth. “We can talk more next time,” she whispered to him with a pat to his back. “Stay safe, okay?” Coyote didn’t need to remind her that technically he would be fine, but he humored her because she truly meant well. It also wasn’t like he was exploding or falling off cliffs as much as he used to, now that he doesn’t have to worry about faulty Acme equipment backfiring. Coyote was going to be okay.
~~~~
Coyote was not okay. He had been so close to catching Road Runner today, he could still feel the phantom touch of the plumage against his paws. He could have sworn the bird had done it on purpose, the way humans let their cats catch the toy before pulling it out of their grasp just as quickly. A false sense of accomplishment only to be reminded that he was at a disadvantage. It was frustrating, sure, but he also was too tired to agonize over his failure, as he sulked his way back to his cave.
What he wasn’t expecting when he arrived was to see Road Runner standing at the entrance to his home, that smug look Coyote knew all too well plastered across his face. Was he there to gloat? Did he want to rub salt in the wound? Usually, they both knew when to call it quits on their chasing for the day, but maybe the bird hadn’t gotten the hint. Coyote was tired, and really all he wanted to do that night was kick his feet up and relax.
Road Runner stepped forward, tilting his head to one side as he saw his old friend approach. He didn’t look tensed to run, ready to take off at the merest incitement of chase. In fact, upon further inspection, he looked just as tired as the Coyote felt. Odd; more often than not, Road Runner still seemed so full of energy after a long day. Why did he look so exhausted?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
In response, Road Runner simply lifted one of his wings. A plastic bag with a logo Coyote recognized dropped to the ground, the scent of chicken and other foods wafting up in a steady cloud of steam to linger right under Coyote’s nose. He relished the scent of the fresh food from one of the Albuquerque restaurants Kevin and Paige had taken him to, before waving the steam away and giving Road Runner a stern look.
Was this one of the bird’s new tactics? Tease him with thoughts of his human friends to throw Coyote off his game? Had he really run all the way into the city and back just to be a massive hassle?
~ YOUR FRIEND TOLD ME YOU WOULD LIKE IT ~
Paige. It had to be Paige who had told Road Runner what he liked to eat when he was visiting his friends in town. So now Paige was scheming against him too? Why would she be helping his nemesis?
Only maybe this was another one of Road Runner’s gifts. Like the stone and the small animals and bugs. Maybe this was an olive branch being extended, a truce between them for the night. Surely, Road Runner wasn’t expecting Coyote to give up the chase entirely. He wouldn’t even if that was what the bird was playing at. One night, though; Coyote could give him one night. After all, he was dead exhausted and the food was making his stomach roll.
Before the offering could be rescinded, Coyote snatched up the bag without so much as a glance at Road Runner and marched into the cave. He had just cleared the entrance when two beeps pulled his attention back to the messenger. He hadn’t meant to turn around, but muscle memory had gotten the better of him in that moment, and he spun on his foot.
Road Runner was looking at him the same way he had in the courtroom in Washington, D.C. when he had asked Coyote if he was coming back. There was a hint of sadness and a lot of hope in his expression. Perhaps this would be their new normal. They would chase and tease each other by day, but by night they would be civil and call a truce, with Road Runner bringing these peace offerings as a sign of friendship. Coyote would never admit it out loud, or via sign, but he didn’t mind this new arrangement they had. He was fed more than he could ever remember being in his nearly eighty years, and for the first time in a very long time, he wasn’t going to bed angry. At least, he wasn’t going to bed angry at Road Runner.
~ CAN I COME IN? ~
Coyote was shocked that Road Runner wanted to stay. Every other time he had brought food for Coyote, he was long gone by the time the recipient returned home. Sure, they were on better terms these past few months, their rivalry slowly inching its way towards friendship, but this was his home. His cave was the place he felt safest, where he could let his guard down completely. It was where all of his wildest and greatest schemes were developed. No one had stepped foot in his cave except him, and he had no intentions of that changing any time soon, no matter how friendly he and Road Runner were.
Looking at Road Runner made it hard for him to do what he was about to do, so he looked at the bird’s feet.
THANK YOU FOR THE FOOD
GOODNIGHT
Without a second glance, Coyote turned away and trudged the rest of the way into his home, leaving his companion to watch him retreat. That night, the food tasted bitter and sat heavy in his stomach.
~~~~
The next time Coyote was in Albuquerque, seated in the diner booth with Kevin and Paige, he had almost forgotten all about that evening with Road Runner. Almost.
So when Paige decided to bring it up, Coyote nearly choked on his tongue.
“How was your dinner date last week?” Paige had asked oh-so-innocently.
“Date? I didn’t go on a date with anyone last week?” Kevin had saved Coyote from having to respond by finally clueing in to the conversation at that exact moment.
Paige rolled her eyes. “Not you, Uncle Kevin. Thought it wouldn’t hurt for you to get out more. Maybe go to a single’s night at the bar on 5th Street.” So it wasn’t just Coyote who was to suffer from the woman’s meddling. It seemed this was something of a pastime for her. “No, I want to hear about how Road Runner’s courting has been going.”
Courting?!?! Paige was out of her mind if she thought that the agreement that Coyote and Road Runner had was anything more than just a step toward a mutual respect for one another, maybe a friendship in the future if things kept going the way they were.
Without Acme leaving Coyote feeling bruised and broken more than he should, he had less of a chip on his shoulder when it came to his sordid relationship with the bird. So, yeah, maybe he could see himself growing a little more fond for Road Runner and their daily antics. At least, it wasn’t causing the pain and distress that it once did. Now, they clashed on a more equal footing, where one respected the other.
But courting?
WE ARE NOT COURTING
Coyote mimed gagging to prove his point even further, hoping Paige would get the hint. She did not.
“Don’t tell me you refused the food he got for you? That cost me a lot of money, you know.” She glanced at her uncle before correcting herself. “It cost the firm a lot of money.”
“What food? I don’t remember singing off on you using the company card to buy food for Road Runner,” Kevin interjected, seeming to only be focused on the part of the story that involved his company’s money.
Paige shook her head. “This was an emergency, and Road Runner didn’t have any money.” She turned back to face Coyote. “He came to me last week in a huge rush, telling me he wanted to do something nice for you. He said you were really hungry and he didn’t know what else he could give you that would show you how much he cared. I told him the way to your heart was through your stomach, and I took him to that chicken shop you love so much. We may have gone a little overboard, but he said it was really important that he do this for you.”
Coyote’s jaw was on the table by the time Paige had finished explaining how she had helped Road Runner with his grand plan. He knew she had been involved- Road Runner had told him as much himself- but Coyote didn’t realize how much the bird had told her about his plans. Why was he so worried about showing Coyote how much he cared? Why now?
Paige sensed her friend’s confusion, and explained, “He said you started accepting his food offerings.” She pulled out her phone and quickly typed something. “He confirmed all of the research I had previously done on roadrunners, the research I was trying to tell you about the last time we had lunch.”
She turned her phone to show him what was on her screen. An article about the mating habits of roadrunners was pulled up.
Coyote grabbed the phone from her hand in disbelief. As he read, his eyes bulged further and further out of their sockets, until they were practically pressed up against the phone screen.
“Roadrunners court through chasing, play fighting, and other movements and vocalizations.” Paige raised an eyebrow. “Sound familiar?”
Paige pulled her phone back and her voice softened. “He’s been trying to initiate the courting process with you for decades. When you started taking his gifts of food, he saw that as your acceptance of his courtship.”
Coyote shook his head and sputtered.
HE IS A CARTOON
“And you are a cartoon too. Does it change what is inherent to your nature?” Paige asked. She was using her lawyer voice. “It probably won’t be exactly the same, since you are not a roadrunner and you are both male, but the earlier parts of the ritual seem to be one and the same for non-reproductive companionship. Kind of like how humans flirt.”
Flirt? There was no way that Road Runner was flirting with him.
“He also said he gave you his mother’s stone. A little blue stone?”
Coyote looked from his hands to Paige at the mention of the stone. It was his mother’s? Had he known he would have felt bad about keeping it, but it was just so beautiful. Had he really meant to give it to Coyote as a sign of affection? Something more than just the friendship that they had started building between them?
Coyote pulled out the stone and laid it on the diner table. The sun coming in through the window reflected the vibrant blues and greens of the stone. It truly was a magnificent gift. Now, Coyote felt bad that he had not returned the gesture with a gift of his own.
“You know, if a human gave their partner a gift like that, usually that would be a pretty big promise,” Kevin mentioned, turning the stone back and forth to let the colors dance across the table. “Sounds to me like Road Runner is ready to take your relationship to the next level.”
Coyote looked at him confused. He was still hard-pressed to even admit that Road Runner was his friend. Now the humans were talking about courting rituals and taking things to the next level. What were they even talking about?
“Looks to me like you’ve got yourself a boyfriend.”
This time, Coyote’s eyes popped all the way out of their sockets.
~~~~
Returning home to his cave that night, Coyote was still in a state of shock from the revelation of that afternoon. Apparently, Road Runner was courting him. He had been courting him for some time now, practically since he had returned from D.C. after the trial. The hardest part for him to wrap his head around was that he hadn’t meant to but he had been courting Road Runner right back all this time.
Road Runner had seen all their years of chasing and teasing each other as a courting ritual, one that had spanned decades. Now, they had taken things a step further ever since Coyote started eating the food Road Runner had been leaving at his cave. And the stone…Coyote didn’t even want to think about what his acceptance of the stone represented.
As he reached the top of his hill, the familiar blue bird was standing at the entrance to his cave once again, a basket of food laid out before him. He chirped happily at Coyote, another part of the courting process if Paige’s article was to be believed. He would either thank the woman for showing him that article, or refuse to talk to her ever again. It all depended on what happened next.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME IN?
“BEEP BEEP.”