Chapter Text
Amanda: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don’t hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I’m just kind of there and their fear fuels me.
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Perez: What do you want then?
Kerry: Er... something work related.
Perez: What department is this?
Kerry: Sorry?
Perez: Well, if it's work related you'd obviously know what department this is. What department is this?
Kerry: *looking at Strahm and Hoffman* Some sort of homosexual department?
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John: You know you can die from that, right?
Adam: *smoking a cigarette* That's the point.
Hoffman: *drinking alcohol* We're trying to speed this up.
Amanda: *eating raw cookie dough and nodding*
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Lawrence: Adam, we tried things your way.
Adam: No, we didn't.
Lawrence: I did it in my head and it didn't work.
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Daniel: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.
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Lynn: *turns on the kitchen light*
Amanda: *sitting at the table, drinking coffee*
Lynn: It’s four in the morning.
Amanda: Turn the light back off.
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John: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it's “intelligent” and “really cool”.
John: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.
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John: Time for plan G.
Logan: Don’t you mean plan B?
John: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Lawrence: What about plan D?
John: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Logan: What about plan E?
John: I’m hoping not to use it. Hoffman dies in plan E.
Amanda: I like plan E.
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Lawrence: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Adam!
Adam: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.
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Rigg: You know what I learned from my friendship with Hoffman?
Kerry: There’s no such thing as too mean?
Tapp: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them?
Sing: Always hold a grudge?
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Jill: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.
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John: Did you take out Lynn as I requested?
Amanda: Lynn has been taken out, yes.
John: You have my grat-
Amanda: It was a great restaurant.
Amanda: We had a romantic candlelit dinner.
Amanda: Lynn proposed afterwards- we’re thinking of having a spring wedding.
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Hoffman: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant.
Strahm, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you.
The guy who broke into their house an hour ago: Two sugars please.
Strahm: Coming right up.
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Amanda: Whatcha doin?
Adam: Stealing my neighbour’s cat.
Amanda: Scandalous.
Amanda: Can I help?
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Perez: That's ridiculous, Kerry doesn't have a crush on me.
Hoffman: Yes, she does.
Rigg: Yes, she does.
Kerry: Yes, I do.
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Hoffman: Shh, here comes John!
Amanda: Quick, Lawrence, start talking about boring nerd stuff!
Lawrence: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word “nerd” derogatorily, it means you’re the one that’s out of the zeitgeist.
Amanda: Yes, that’s perfect. Just like that.
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Amanda: Can you come collect your freak of a man, please?
Amanda: He’s doing things.
Lawrence: No, I set him loose on purpose.
Lawrence: He needs enrichment.
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Adam: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.