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Jaebum walked through the quad as he headed back to his dorm. Despite it being nearly mid-February, a heavy layer of white snow covered his surroundings and the piercing air chilled him to the bone. He couldn't wait to slip under the warm covers of his bed and sleep his afternoon away. Today had not been his day—he had a pop quiz he was totally unprepared for, his notes for another class disappeared, Jackson somehow managed to receive a better grade on his paper even though Jaebum spent a hefty amount of time and effort typing his while he knew Jackson pulled something out his butt last minute, and couples. Oh man, couples. Valentine’s Day was coming up and it seemed like everyone not named Im Jaebum had a significant other. The quad was filled with couples: a couple sitting on the bench sharing hot chocolate, another holding hands as they walked past; love was in the air, but frankly, Jaebum wanted nothing more than regular oxygen.
That’s a lie, he secretly wished for a significant other to spend the upcoming holiday with, but he had been single since entering college, and that was three years ago. At this point, he accepted the fact that he will live alone with fifty cats, and honestly, he was okay with it. His future with felines, he believed however, would be enhanced if he also had someone to come home to. At least for the time being, he could look forward to Jinyoung his roommate to be there when he gets to his dorm.
Jaebum doesn't know yet if he believes in fate, but befriending Jinyoung was basically that. Neither of them being outgoing, the task of finding friends, and more importantly a tolerable roommate, seemed daunting. Three years ago while freshman Jaebum paced around his new dorm awaiting his randomly chosen roommate, a figure quietly stepped through the doorway.
“Uh, Jaebum, right?”
Jaebum stopped his pacing and looked at the boy across from him. “Yea, and you must be Jinyoung?”
And that was the beginning of a very fitting friendship. They learned about each other’s likes and dislikes, their habits and pet peeves. Overall, their similar personalities allowed the both of them to live comfortably together without many arguments.
As Jaebum slipped off his wet shoes at the doorway of his apartment style dorm, Jinyoung stepped out of his room to greet Jaebum.
“Hey welcome back, guess what?”
“Hi, what’s up?” Jaebum plopped down on the couch, his body sprawled out..
Jinyoung sat down in the chair adjacent from him. “As of today, 18 people have asked to be my valentine.”
While both boys were more reserved, something about Jinyoung made him mysterious and alluring. Maybe it was because he skipped a grade, intelligence seeping through his pores. Or maybe it’s the way he held himself, very mature and almost prince-like with his refined movements and speech, his aura drawing everyone in. Whatever it was, Jaebum didn’t posses it. Most days, Jaebum didn’t mind; he was content having a few friends to hang out with. Around this time of year though when he felt the most lonely, Jinyoung would be asked out to tons of dates from both boys and girls, and being the decent guy he was, he would agree to all of them. Often times, he’d come back from a date with some story to tell Jaebum.. The stories ranged from funny to downright terrifying, but all of them ended with Jinyoung saying there wouldn't be another date with that person.
As much as Jaebum enjoyed listening to Jinyoung’s encounters, he also slightly envied him. Jinyoung wasn’t dense though, so back in sophomore year he decided that he should stop informing Jaebum about his experiences, worried that he seemed like he was bragging and hurting Jaebum, but Jaebum quickly insisted that Jinyoung would recount his dates to the last detail, assuring him that this was a way for him to live vicariously through Jinyoung’s love life. So he continued, making sure Jaebum knew that as much as others fancied Jinyoung, he never felt the same way, therefore, his love life was ultimately also hopeless.
Jaebum snorted. “Sometimes I meow at cats and they meow back.” His reply made Jinyoung laugh, covering his mouth with his hand. “Well, did you say yes to anyone?”
Jinyoung shook his head. “You know I turn those requests down. Agreeing to one date is different than committing to being someone’s Valentine. Besides, we always spend that day together watching movies and eating our hearts out. It’s like our tradition.”
Jaebum looked up to the ceiling. He never thought of it like that. It was just something that ended up happening on the 14th of February every year, but that was simply because circumstances made it that way. Freshman year, Jinyoung’s date cancelled on him last minute; sophomore year he was the one to cancel because he got ill; and last year was the first time he just stayed at the dorm with Jaebum without reason. Realization hit him. “Tradition, huh. I suppose it is.”
Jinyoung grinned. “Yes, well anyways, Mark gave me a stack of movies he recommended. I haven't actually heard of any of them, but he promised they were good. Is that okay with you?”
“Yeah, sure, that’s fine.” Jaebum’s eyelids grew heavy. “I’m gonna take a nap, I need it. Today was not my day.”
“On the couch? You're room is two steps away. Your back’s going to hurt and you'll be cold…”, but Jaebum was already knocked out.
Hours later, Jaebum awoke with an aching back but a warm duvet wrapped around him.
~*
Days later it was finally that wretched day. Classes went on as usual, nothing particularly standing out. Jaebum was eager to get back to the dorm and mope around the rest of the afternoon and in through the night. Oddly, he came home to an empty dorm, which was unusual as Jinyoung took all morning classes and always finished before Jaebum.
He sent a quick text to Jinyoung. Where are you?
Bus. On my way back to dorm. Jaebum tossed his phone aside. Maybe Jinyoung ended up going on a date. Jaebum felt a pang of jealously. Jealously towards Jinyoung who everyone and their grandma wanted to date, but also jealously towards whomever got to spend time with him? I mean, Jinyoung said it himself, it’s their tradition to spend Valentine’s Day with each other. Of course, by no means does he have to spend the day only with Jaebum. Jaebum pushed his thoughts aside and rummaged through their fridge for food they can munch on while watching movies.
Just then, the door unlocked and in came Jinyoung, holding bags of groceries. “Hey, sorry! I thought I'd get back before you did, but the line at the market was long. Guess I'm not the only one planning on preparing a nice dinner.”
“Oh, you went grocery shopping?” Relief rushed through Jaebum and he sheepishly smiled. “Thought you went on a last minute date before having to hang out with your lonely loser-of-a-friend.” He grabbed Jinyoung’s bags and helped carry them to the kitchen counter. “What is all of this?”
Now it was Jinyoung’s turn to smile sheepishly. He rubbed the back of his neck and explained, “I was thinking that instead of being lame and sad, we can make things nicer and sort of celebrate being single.”
The rest of the day went on like this: Jinyoung attempting to make lasagna but burning it to the point of no return, Jaebum having to step in and remake the whole dish, toasting with cheap wine to being forever alone-- “No, to being together alone.” “Why are you like this, Jinyoung.”—and finally ending the night with their traditional movies and junk food.
A black and white film filled the screen. An assortment of ice cream and chips littered the foot of the couch. Popcorn bowl placed in between them.
This is truly the best Valentine’s Day I've ever had. Not once did I feel lonely, Jaebum thought to himself.
“I agree,” Jinyoung chimed. Okay, so maybe Jaebum was talking out loud. “I'm really grateful to have a friend like you.”
Jaebum looked over at Jinyoung, but his face was turned to the television screen. “Me too. To being together alone.”
“To being together alone.”